SavageKitsune's Training Blog

More Thursday

2012-03-01T22:54:00.000-08:00

I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that most human problems have their origin in a bad relationship with the body. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

Thursday evening BJJ at Gracie Bellevue.

Being my 2nd BJJ class of the day, I was a little torn between having to drive all the way into Seattle vs going to Bellevue and having to be in ADVANCED class whether I felt like it or not. Decided to go to Bellevue this time.

It really is very different doing 2 BJJ classes in 1 day versus doing a BJJ class and a Kung Fu class in 1 day. It is much less exhausting with 2 different arts, as you're using very different muscles and movements. Plus it's different enough that it is also less mentally exhausting to learn (and probably retain). Sigh.

Anyway- we were doing a lot of fun stuff in Advanced class tonight. I got to work with Kelly, whom I haven't seen in a long time and haven't worked with in forever, so that was cool.

Standup: reaps, using a lapel grip and an elbow grip (slide the lapel grip behind the opponent's neck as you step in, and use it to yank hir backward).

Then a fireman's carry: lapel and elbow grip both people; you take your hand off the elbow, place your hand on your own lapel BENEATH opponent's hand and turn torso to that same side. At the same time, sharply yank your lapel out of hir hand and also stiff-arm hir with your other hand to make it easier. (note to self to try this same grip break in other situations...)

Now slide that same-side foot between opponent's feet, kneel on that knee. Stick your arm between hir legs as you yank down on the lapel, to place hir sideways over your shoulders. Two ways to dump hir: bow your head fwd and roll hir off to the front, or cartwheel hir off to the diagonal. Carlos said the first way is easier, especially if they are heavy (and made a point of telling Kelly and me to do it the first way). I tried it that way, and it was awkward. Kelly's leg was almost posted, and in my way. The diagonal was actually a lot easier for me. It might have been a height difference thing. It really needed the momentum to work well, though, so I was awkward for the first few reps- till I was sure about which arm was doing what, and that I had all the steps.

Kelly asked me if I had done judo. "No- why, does it seem like I actually know what I'm doing a little bit?" She said- I can't remember the exact words she used, but something about seeming more assertive and confident with takedowns. Like many BJJ schools, we do not really work takedowns enough, and a lot of people are awkward and hesitant. It was great to work some takedowns. I wonder if that is done more often in the advanced class. Even with the increased mat space we have now, there are often too many couples on the mat to safely work takedowns, even if we wanted to.

Then two reversals from turtle, opponent paralleling you and setting up a collar choke.

1) you pin opponent's arm on the side AWAY from hir, and roll over your shoulder. This was exactly what I had been doing this morning, and calling it a "shoulder throw from the knees".

2) You grab the pants at the knee- of the opponent's far leg. Place your ankle over hir other ankle, then roll AWAY from opponent. KEEP HOLD OF THE PANTS till you finish up on top.

Kelly kept pulling me right onto her belly- which was fine, with me, but if she'd tried that with a heavy guy, it would have sucked. I tried to tweak her form. Then she pulled me over lower on her body so that I was rolling over her pelvis. Well, marginally better... but I said that she was still going to rupture something important if she tried that with Rene. I demo'ed it- when I did it, all her weight was on my hip, and that felt great- so I was pretty sure I was right that that was the way we wanted to be doing it. We struggled, though- she kept saying that she thought that was the way she *WAS* doing it, whereupon I would have her do it to me again, and then I'd pause halfway through and bounce a little so that she could see that all my weight was right on top of her soft belly- REALLY, feel that? *bounce* *bounce* *poke* I think she might have been getting a little frustrated with me, and after a while I kind of wished I had just kept my mouth shut. Especially as I haven't worked with her in a long time, I didn't really want to be an annoying pain in her butt. That was one technique where I think it may have actually been helpful for her to work with someone heavier- it would have been a lot more apparent exactly where she needed to put the weight.

We did the first spar together, and DAMN, the woman tooled me. She has gotten really good. I couldn't get the heck out of her closed guard, I just couldn't. She front mounted me, back mounted me. My usually-efficient back mount escapes failed on her because her hips were so much more flexible than the hips of most people I work with. She didn't get a sub, but I was definitely tooled in a positional sense. Yeah, it was my 2nd class of the day and I was a little tired, but I wasn't feeling tired enough to have an excuse for this... She deserves the cred. She has just gotten really good, and she is really strong, and she tooled me righteously. Embarrassing (especially after I had acted like such a know-it-all during the drills), but I'm proud of her. She was crying on the mat her first month. I'm sure Carlos never thought she'd make it. Not only has she made it to blue, and is GOOD, and doing well at comps, but she is usually training at Bellevue- where there usually are *NO* other women to work with. Intimidating and difficult, especially if you're new. Good for her. Even Ron commented that she is getting good, and really strong. I made a point of telling her that in the locker room after (as well as congratulating her sincerely for tooling me!)

Then Ron, who *ALWAYS* tools me- so at least that time I knew what I was in for. He subbed me six ways to Sunday. Armbars seemed to be the technique of the day for him- he was going for them again and again from all positions. He only got two- I defended a lot, and they are a little harder to finish on me because my arms are so stubby. But he subbed me about a bazillion other times with all sorts of other stuff. Then I was too tired to do any more.

Thursday

2012-03-01T16:26:00.000-08:00

The world would never have been the same had any of the Western prophets been struck by the same intuition that myth attributes to Bodhidharma. Probably, the entire Western culture would be drastically different. No rivalry between spirit and body. No tug-of-war between the soul yearning for Heaven and the body restraining it on Earth. Rather than wasting our energies quarreling with our bodies and with the natural world, we could let spirituality and sensuality dance cheek to cheek. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

Friday FOD: Plum Blossom Fist. Note that the Leopard Fist section begins kneeling on the RIGHT knee.

Sat FOD: Box Form. Both versions. Did a micro-fu version in the break room while waiting for popcorn to pop- felt very powerful. Couldn't quite recapture the energy later while doing it with more focus, LOL. There's just something about this form, though. Little Red Dragon has cooler technique, Touch Bridge is more advanced. CC dismisses Box Form as beginner-level dross. I think I'd be hard pressed to even ID it as a Dragon form, if I saw it performed for the first time by someone who wasn't a Dragon stylist. It's got some kind of elusive spark in it, though.

Sun FOD: Hurricane Hands. Standard version a few times, a bit of the mirror version. Had to check a few things, but it was mostly still there.
This is the last stone in the bowl, time to start over.

Somnalist Trauma Theater offered up two "oldies but goodies" on Sunday as well as something a little different. The same: dreams about the principle villians in last fall's Trauma-rama (the more I try to just not think about those people, the more I think about them- and when I sleep, I DREAM about them). Also a rerun: a dream wherein my teeth are falling out. My mother read some dream-interpretation rag and insists that this always indicates a fear of growing old. I have some experience in dream interpretation myself, though- and things symbolize different meanings to different people. I'm fairly sure that this one, in my case, is a fear of being/feeling ineffectual/impotent/helpless. Which could go along with aging, but the two are not glued together by any means.

The different: Another violent attack/persecution adventure, but this time I had another person with me, and the attackers were firing at that person- not me. That distressed me, even though I have no idea who that person was.

Also worth noting: the restaurant nightmares are back.
When I was in high school and college, I worked for five years at a restaurant. It wasn't a pleasant job, nor was it a pleasant period of my life. For the following decade or so, I had recurring nightmares about working there. They showed up whenever I was feeling stressed, and were a reliable barometer of a point where I really needed to address the amount of tension in my life. I was so ready to forget that resturant, though. Eventually I started to wonder if I was doomed to dream about that damn place for the rest of my life.

A few years after moving to Seattle, I ceased to dream about the restaurant. It has been something like seven years since I last had one of those, and that was a relief. Well, now they are back. I've had at least a dozen of them in the last six months. The most recent was a few days ago, when I woke up with the certainly that I was employed both at my present job *AND* the restaurant- and I half-lunged out of bed in a panic that I was late for a shift at the latter- where the hell were my apron and nylons, and were they clean?!? Ugh.

Monday FOD: Kiu Two. Again.

One of the fantasy/sci fi creative writing forums I sometimes hang around in is doing a challenge project. You create two fighters, have them battle it out, and then the winner advances in brackets wherein you fight other writers. I had been discussing Praying Mantis and Monkey styles of Kung Fu in the "research" section of the same forum, so I decided to create characters from each style and have them duke it out on the page. I haven't gotten to writing the actual fighting yet, because my characters are still busy making snarky comments about the all other contestants and about each other. I'm hoping that I can get done soon and post my piece first- because that gives me carte blanche to make up whatever the hell I want about other people's characters- I'm creating backstories, sick rumors, giving them physical handicaps, all sorts of things that the other writers are just going to be stuck with if I post first. {evil chuckle}

Tuesday- 133.5. FOD: Northern Mantis Bo form. Done 3x with broom handle at work.

My lovely boss has denied two of my time-off-request dates for PSG (two from the middle of the week, of course). Now that I don't have my Kung Fu classes and events, PSG is normally the *only* time off I tend to ask for during the entire year. I registerd anyway- if you wait to get registration and plane tix till later, it costs hundreds of dollars more. She'd better figure something out. This is a stress I don't need, though.

Creative writing challenge is fun so far. I had my Mantis guy win the battle, but the Monkey guy walked off with the title because he bribed the ref. :D I also Tuckerized JB *and* Triin briefly, and thew in mention of the Bullshido forum, a put-down of Tae Kwon Do, and disparaging commentary about ring girls (recent hot topic on Jiu Jitsu Forums). Several of the other writers are incorporating the tidbits of backstory that I threw out into their own stories, so that's merry fun to see. Next I "fight" one of the other writers. I'll have at least one more fight to write and possibly as many as half a dozen. Winners are being chosen by dice roll, and each writer writes 1/2 of the scene.

I picked up my Gracified gi's from the tailor today. Yes, I have been assimilated. I'm not very happy about it, but it is a rule now.... and patching my gi's instead of buying new GB gi's is pushing it. Although after paying for the (really expensive!) patch kits and paying the tailor, I probably didn't save a whole lot. I really do not enjoy looking like a car in the Indy 500. At least the guy in the car is *getting* paid to look like a crazy quilt, instead of having to *PAY* to do it!

Thursday: 133.0

Somnalist Trauma Theater: spent most of the night trying to talk down a drugged out, morose guy who had a gun and knife and was threatening to use them on himself and on others around us. I hardly even mind these nightmares any more (well, the restaurant ones, I mind some) as long as they don't have people from last fall in them. Unfortunately, a few of those people showed up in this nightmare. Wonder if they would have gone away if I'd let the druggie shoot them.

Thuursday Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Seattle. I am often not feeling very peppy to go to this class, but this is the second time I've gotten to roll with the Prof, so I should try to keep coming if just for that!

All spars, all the time today. All blue belts for me, except for Carlos. Glenn, Nelson (twice), some middle-eastern blue belt guy whose name I don't know, John (twice). Felt like I was doing medium-well... not too great, not too bad. A couple of people told me I was doing well, though, including the Prof- so I'll take it. He and I were doing a little stand-up again. Me trying to take him down is laughable, but I hope he at least appreciates my persistance. He says I should go for chokes more. I had let go of one that hadn't seemed to be working, and he asked "Why you let go?" He had thought it was on okay and I should have kept working at it.

Nelson already has 3 stripes on his blue belt. I said, "You must have been busting your ass in here the last year." He said, "They're giving them out like candy!" Then he said something about bribes.

John socked me in the jaw, and I ragged him a whole bunch about it... then he did it AGAIN, and he felt really bad. Then he klonked me in the jaw with his knee, and was ready to walk off the mat. By then I was cracking up- and I said, just keep going, I know you're not doing it on purpose. Told him that he needed to join the Muay Thai or boxing classes if he wanted to clobber people. Your control starts to do that when you're tired, and we had all been rolling hard for an hour and a half.

I had told him that I was going to call him on it if he started using strength on me. "Be technical." He has told me that he's working on that. He still used some strength on me, but less than he usually does- I could tell he was trying, and it was never eggregious enough to mention.

Glenn kept peeling and ripping my grips persistantly off his collar. Once he squeezed my fingers, and I ragged on *him*... told him that he was a big bully throwing his strength around and that's what everyone always says about him. That's funny because he's awesome to work with (and he knows I think that), and *very* technical- he never seems to be using any strength at all. He said that he knows I'm always going for chokes and that's why he doesn't want me to have that collar grip.

Two different people said that they were impressed with my back mount escapes today, and that they couldn't get/keep hooks in. I also shoulder-threw two people in slo-mo while we were on our knees, taking us from me in turtle and them on top to me in top side control. One of them was Nelson, which was gratifying, since he's a judo guy.

Carlos was eyeing my unbleached cotton Atama that had been Gracified at the tailor, but he didn't say anything. I hope they are not going to say anything about the colored ones. I didn't even do the bare minimum of patches, either- I went whole-hog with the LARGE size patch on the back, the EQUIPE patch under it, the big white GB strip on the front lapel, and the small round red patch on the shoulder. A couple of the other guys have slapped a medium round patch on the back of their unsanctioned gi's and called it good.

Stalking Side Control

2012-02-23T23:36:00.000-08:00

"This is a beautiful moment we're having. Can we please fight?" -Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Evening BJJ at Gracie Seattle. My first class taught by Brock- altho Casey and Dave were also on deck.

Side control to KOB, to KOB on the other side, to side control and back again. While in KOB, hold opponent down by pinning hir lapel to the mat both over and under hir far shoulder. Worked with a female white belt and was able to give her some pointers. Her technique was flawless once a couple of things were tweaked.

Baseball choke. From KOB on opponent's left: your rt hand under hir head, gripping collar under hir rt ear. This was the same rt hand grip we had been using for the pin 'em in KOB move before. Now you joggle the lapel in your left hand a titch to create enough slack to slip that left hand in beside the rt. Hands are gripping as they do on a baseball bat, hence the name. Rotate and sink. If you want to be mean: rotate, sink and scoot up by their head like you're making for north-south. I enjoyed this choke a lot. I enjoy chokes in general. I can't wait till I start reliably getting choke subs in live rolls.

A little King Of the Hill: guard pass vs sweep/submit. I did not do very well. Got swept by a blue belt in about 6 seconds (altho granted he was a biggun) and then by Casey in about the same time (although granted he's a black belt). Brock let me work a bit, enough that I sunk in a guillotine- then I let it go because I wasn't supposed to be going for subs, I was supposed to be passing guard. He said "Go ahead! Do it!" But the moment was gone.

One roll with a blue belt guy. I mostly stayed on top, but couldn't finish a sub. He was *very* explosive with his escape attempts from my side controls, mounts and KOB's, but I managed to usually ride him out. He was puffing like a steam engine... I might have had a lot more trouble with him if he'd moderated his breathing better. He complimented me on my positional control, and I complimented him on his sub defense.

I am shamelessly stalking Dave (SIDE CONTROL). I grabbed him again after class and asked him to roll with me, then picked his brain. The way he writes, he sounds like one of those people who genuinely feels that teaching and helping lower belts is a responsibility of a black belt, and that doing so also benefits his own training. So I'm going to stalk him and benefit too- although I'll try to not drive him nuts.

Rolling with "Side Control" is like rolling with Cindy, in that it glaringly points up a particular weakness of my game. I tend to get fixated on trying to pull off a specific move, and I'll just sink in there and grind away at it... sometimes I wear the person down and get what I wanted, but more often (especially with higher belts) I stay there grinding fruitlessly long past the time it is obvious that it's not going to work. What Cindy does (and what Dave does too) is that while I'm stalled there grinding at whatever I'm going for, they will shift direction and turn the force I'm exerting into something that ends up making me either sweep or submit MYSELF. It makes me feel like such a moron. But like the Clench-N-Cling (tm), which is an offshoot of the same problem (and I have had some partial sucess in breaking myself of), I need to stop getting so invested/fixated on one path. As soon as you stop moving, the opponent has time to have a look around and see where you're offbalanced, or what other holes you've left. The flip side is also something I want to learn- how to use the opponent's own exertion to make hir hang hirself. Very Dragon.

I tried the choke he'd helped me with last time, and *still* couldn't pull the dang thing off. Came close to guillotining him- but even though I had the choke on quite nice, I didn't have a good position for my body to finish it. He said afterward that he'd been worried about it, though- so that's good for me. Another Cindy lesson that I hope I've ingrained to some degree- don't keep grinding at subs that you are in a crappy body position for.

Dave also will not mount, side-control or scarf me and then just let me lie there, as I tend to do. Well, specifically, he *does* just let me lie there- making it plain that he expects me to actually *DO* something and try to get out. In my own defense, I will say that I no longer "just lie there like a dead fish" in Bryan's infamous words.... but I do tend to lie there and wait for them to move toward a sub before I jump for my escape. I've just spent too much time and energy wiggling helplessly under people's mount, side control and scarf without a prayer of getting out till they move again and present me with an opening. Well, Dave's going to make me struggle to try make an opening. Another way he operates like Cindy does.

Note that my A-game mount escape (???) to bottom half guard does not work on Dave. It works on pretty much EVERYONE else, every single time, in under the required three seconds.... so this was disconcerting. Every time I go for it, he puts his knee up and stands up on that leg. I grab for the other one, he switches. The first couple times, I was like "What the hell just happened??!? That always works!" Then it was like, "*&%^$!!!" Well, that's why he's wearing the "dirty belt", as I commented wryly.

He reassured me about purple belt looming ominously in my foreseeable future before I have fixed what seem to me to be yawning, embarrassing, Grand-Canyon sized holes in my game. That writeup about what each belt means, that's been floating around the net...you've seen it.... I liked it, it made sense, but it said that when you get to purple belt, that's when you are expected to have a full game with no holes. Dave reassured me that he still felt like he had holes in his game at purple, that you have to grow into it. Makes me feel a little less pressure. I still don't want that promotion, though. May it be a long, long, long way off.

He also suggests that I focus on *one* sweep, and try to hit it from different positions and on different people. I have heard that advice before, and am going to try to take it. Not sure what to use, though... Scissor sweep is my most comfortable sweep to drill, but I never get it in live rolling except on virgin white belts. Ditto butterfly sweep. Sit-up sweep may be a better bet for me to actually successfully execute live. I don't have the minuteae of steps as locked-in to memory as the other two, but it fits with the style of my game better than the other two. Hmmm. Does the fact that I know that mean that I sort of know what I'm doing, to some degree?

Part of my problem with sweeps is that when I'm on the bottom, my instinct is to escape- not sweep. Also, my escapes are a hell of a lot better and more reliable than my sweeps (probably because, duh, I've done them more). The tendency to fall back on the reliable first instinct needs to give way to the "look around and see if you can do a sweep" mentality.

The fabric training dummy wants me

2012-02-23T15:07:00.002-08:00

If anyone strikes my heart, it does not break, but it bursts, and the flame coming out of it becomes a torch on my path. Hazrat Inayat Khan

Thursday: 133.5

Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Bellevue.

Prof Carlos tried to set me up with the fabric dummy today (who for some reason lives in the women's locker room). "He ees seengle. Good leestener." I asked if the dummy could cook, and Carlos admitted that that was a shortcoming- but that the dummy doesn't eat, either.

Butterfly guard on kneeling opponent. Opponent is lying on you and hugging your thighs under hir armpits. You push your cross-forearm under hir jaw, and grab the shoulder, bridge hips abruptly to get a little room. Then sit up and wrap that same arm buddy-style around the opponent, grab hir belt. (apparently you can't lift your shoulders off the mat during this portion unless you're going to KEEP them off; it seems the opponent gets points if you sit up and then lie back down again). Hip out to the side a tad, butterfly sweep. (Me having trouble with left and right again- which way to sweep? I had to stop and compute which of the opponent's arms was more logical to trap, and then sweep hir that way.)

Same entry, except opponent steps a foot up before you can sweep. Slide under hir leg and hold it as if hir knee was a telephone. X-guard with your legs. Prof asked us to play with that for 5 min and try to figure out a sweep. I took the back, but that's not a sweep. After 5 min, he showed us some options, including the take-the-back that had been my idea- so I didn't feel so dumb after all. I still had trouble with the sweep- but hey, it's a sweep, and that is my biggest weakness. I'd like to experiment with X guard more. God knows I'm on the bottom often enough... I need to start looking for opportunities to sink that in and then see if I can do anything from there. I don't think it will work for me as well as for taller people, though- because I can't stretch people out. I will have to rely on speed and surprise to offbalance them. So when I'm experimenting, I'll have to experiment QUICKLY.

One roll with a three stripe blue guy- he was not huge, but he was using strength and he ravaged me- it was all I could do to keep from getting subbed, and there were a number of very close calls (including a couple that I prolly should have tapped to, but I resisted because I was getting irritated with him). I couldn't do anything to him. A bit discouraging, after I'd been having kind of a good week. Oh well, you're up, then you're down again, that's the name of the game. I felt a little vindicated when Carlos rolled with him next and ravaged him as casually as the guy had ravaged me. I was too exhausted by then to do any more, which was a shame, since Glenn and Nelson were there (two of my favorite training partners).

I'm going to drop circus school from four nights a month to (probably) two, because I think that's the only way I'm ever going to see Cindy again. My work schedule means that there is only one Sat, one Fri and one Weds in every 2-week period that are feasable to get to Sleeper. The last few Fridays and Saturdays, after I did Gracie lunchtime class, I found myself just too darn exhausted to do anything those evenings. Acrobalance is on Wednesday, but I want to clear a Wednesday evening and try to get in to Sleeper's again.

It has been six months since I lost my Kung Fu teacher and group. It's not getting any easier. Just last night I was having one of those really low depressive episodes. I had a screaming fit in the car because I can't get my brain off those negative hamster-wheels of futile thought processes. My own mind is the enemy- it just will not go where I want it to go and stay out of the dark dank places. However, this afternoon, my training feels.... pregnant. Like something is about to change. I could really use a positive shift of some sort.

Crotch levers

2012-02-22T21:25:00.000-08:00

We only suffer when we hold onto an objection to some aspect of reality.

Wednesday: 134.0

Somnalist Trauma Theater was running an all-night marathon last night (there were no pharmaceuticals involved). Six or seven lengthy and detailed nightmares in a row. Sleep very poor, but I was good and dragged my tired self to class.

Got Bryan again- poor guy- he must be getting tired of me
this week, but I always make a point to sincerely thank him. We also got Sonia in a trio, after she came in for the final 20 min or so.

Turtle to replacing guard. Guy is hugging your waist from behind. Put both your feet to one side of hir knees, straighten the leg nearest hir, grab hir pants at the knee on the OTHER side. Turn toward the side that you grabbed the pants on, sit out, grab triceps.

After a few rounds of drilling this, we added a guard pass. Note that when you put a knee up to the ceiling in the other guy's guard, that knee should start out on the INSIDE of your arm (ie, you're hugging your own knee). Also do not forget to have a grounded, wide base going on.

I was too tired to stay for one live roll, let alone two, but I did. Sonia and then JM. Sonia neck-cranked me, but apparently it would have been a choke of some sort had my headgear not been in the way. JM ankle-locked me. Since we don't do a whole lot of below-the-waist subs here (and white belts aren't allowed to), I often forget to watch for it... I didn't realize what he was doing until too late. He did give me a really nice compliment on my work, and it was definitely *NOT* my best work today, sluggish as I was- so that was nice.

I have to come to lunchtime class at Bellevue tomorrow whether I feel like it or not, as Carlos asked if I was going to be there and I told him yes.

Circus school (acrobalance). Hilarity level was high tonight- as evidenced by the fact that we were working on "asshats" and "crotch levers". I'll just leave those to your fertile imaginations.

Note that Circus School is an entertainment industry- so unlike at martial arts schools, it is okay to dance your way through warmups and stretches.

Remembering that I want to try to not always find myself working with the novice bases, I purposefully maneuvered myself into Willis' group tonight (although I did trade off with one of the other guys a couple of times).

I did not attempt the stacking, although they almost got up to 4 people. When the stack began to collapse, Jenny (on top) LAUNCHED herself spread-eagled into one of the spotter's arms. It was dramatic! Too bad no video.

A few new things; I did well as long as I had someone to talk me through it. Like martial arts choreography, I do not retain acrobatic choreography well, and can't remember which hand goes where.

Monday

2012-02-21T08:40:00.001-08:00

One we learn how to use adversity to our advantage, we can manufacture the helpful growth opportunity without actual danger
or injury. -Josh Waitzkin, The Art Of Learning

Monday FOD: Kiu 2.

I went to Monday lunchtime class even though I had to work that night. I left by 1pm, and took 2 Unisom as I was leaving the gym. I chased the Unisom with a little Nyquil when I got home, because my allergies were fussing like crazy. I seem to have zonked out fairly quickly once I went to bed- although my dreams were very bad. Can't make a practice of this, but I held up okay this time.

Prof Carlos greeted me by asking if I was sore. I said no, but that I expected to be so by the time I left. Well, class exceeded my expectations: BOW AND ARROW!

I am afraid of being bow-and-arrowed. There's just such a fine line between tap and snap... and that's your SPINE doing the snapping, there... how do you like the idea of lying in bed typing with a pencil in your mouth for the rest of your life? People seem to like to crank these; or maybe it's just me, because I'm short and there isn't much bend in my particular bow. Furthermore, if they're doing it right, you have no arms free to tap, and the breath is being accordianed out of you so that you can't verbally tap. I hate 'em. Working with Bryan again was a mixed blessing- he's not a spazz, but he's also not going to handle me like I'm a kitten.

We started with the same entry sequence from last Tuesday: Opponent goes for double-leg, you frame arms UNDER hir arms and shoulders and sprawl. Go to the side (your right side up against opponent's left... opponent is now turtled). Feed opponent's left collar into your rt hand, grab hir near pantleg, stand up and swing your rt leg over to mount hir like you're riding a horse. Then let your butt drop to the other side. DO NOT ROLL opponent over your chest to the other side. S/he is already on the pillow side, which is where you want hir. (This drive of mine to roll to the other side has appeared in several techniques; I'm not sure why I want to do that...) If your lapel grip was good, the person starts choking even before your butt hits the ground. I had to start drilling with a shallower, looser lapel grip just so that I could finish the technique, although of course in real life I would be delighted to choke the opponent as early as possible and be done with it.

Escape from back mount. Same entry sequence. Note the crossface as soon as you line up beside the opponent. Again, resist the urge to roll when you take backmount. Another thing I like to do while I'm doing that superfluous roll is to hike the person right up on my chest, which is equally inane. Why do I want to drag a person right over my fragile ribcage? Keep hir low.

If you are the backmountEE, you want to try to get off the pillow side, bridge and put your weight on the opponent's chest, remove a hook. (You do not need to do the entire escape in 3 seconds. As soon as you remove 1 hook, your opponent is not getting backmount points.) Remove both feet, turn over at the hips, take side control.

One of the things that Carlos pointed out as a common error, I recognized as *MY* common error.... I do fairly well escaping back mount, but I do tend to get one foot out and leave the remaining one in there because I'm trying to post on it and hip away. This leaves me vulnerable to half guard and also having my back retaken. I need to get BOTH feet out. It is less work than escaping back mount and then escaping half guard. (I should probably note, though, that I can get extra points for doing it the long way, if I really want points. I am confident with my two-step sequence.) I also need to turn at the hips and not attempt to generate the turn from less-effective sections of my body.

One roll with Marc. It was fun. He got me with a slick mounted triangle that I didn't even see coming at all, and once again with the technique of the day (rats!). I got him with a cross-collar choke after he inexplicably turned his chin up- I don't know what he was thinking; he knew I was going for the collar choke.

I tried wrapping his arm with his gi tail, too.... I am still clumsy at this, but it is something I really want to cultivate. Lindsey and Pat are extremely effective with it.

I have nice gi hickeys under both sides of my jaw, thanks to the bow and arrow drills.

New woman today- Kristen. I tried to get her to spar with me, but no joy. It was her very first day. Hope she didn't get discouraged watching me get smooshed by Marc right in front of her chair.

Just shoot me now... someone found my blog this week with the search term "women leaning over poking her ass out"

Sunday

2012-02-19T17:17:00.001-08:00

Even people who are completely devoted to cultivating a certain discipline often fall into a mental rut, a disengaged lifestyle that implies excellence can be obtained by going through the motions. We lose presence. Then an injury or some other kind of setback thows a wrench into the gears. We are forced to get imaginative. -Josh Waitzkin, The Art Of Learning

Saturday: 133.0

Razzafrack! I was all dressed and had my stuff in the car, ready to leave for a double header BJJ at both schools. One of the diabetic cats tested a little low, and instead of going to class, I found myself stuck here all day babysitting him to make sure his glucose didn't tank.

(That's his pic at the top- isn't he a cutie? I really don't want him to croak, even though he made me miss class.)

Sunday: 133.0

Lunchtime BJJ Gracie Seattle. This was a Lindsey class, which was cool. One guy with a minor injury was rolling a little before class and then ducked out as we were starting- because he had an injury, and as he said, "this class is notorious for leaving you with two or three days of pain". I had to share that comment with Lindsey- who was delighted, as I knew he'd be.

I worked with Abby, one of the white belt girls who began in Lindsey's self defense class. Half guard stuff. I'm good at getting out of top half guard, so I was able to give her pointers. In bottom half guard (my nemesis), I was pleasantly shocked to find that I was actually able to get out, for a change. I was even able to do a few sweeps. I so rarely work with white belts, it is just surreal to be able to try things (especially sweeps, which I eternally suck at) and actually have them WORK. Also, I was just so relaxed and calm. No pressure, no anxiety... just ho-hum, look around for opportunities, do this, do that, pretty much everything I attempted worked. And it's not as if she was really bad; she was actually doing well. She was just a white belt.

Then I had a roll with Dave and a roll with John. They are both about my rank and only a small amount heavier. Again a pleasant surprise- I had good competitive rolls with both of them. I felt like I deserved my belt today- which is still unusual enough to warrent comment.

Friday

2012-02-17T15:37:00.000-08:00

There are times when the body needs to heal, but those are ripe opportunities to deepen the mental, technical, internal side of my game. You should always come off an injury better than when you went down. -Josh Waitzkin, The Art Of Learning

Thursday:

Sooooooooo tired. Not up for silk class tonight. But you can't blow off circus school, since you have to pay whether you show up or not, and it's expensive!

The hoop arialists were practicing behind us tonight. They looked soooooooooooo awesome. Not as awesome as silk, but almost.

Russian climb: DO NOT WRAP the silk. Drape it over the front of the rt ankle, then lift the tail with your left foot and make a little stirrup. Place the left foot on top of the right. DO NOT MAKE AN "L" SHAPE. squat on top of your feet with your shins parallel to the ground. Then stand up.

Dutchmans again. Arabesque, which I messed up and didn't get enough time to fix. Must ask for that again next time. Hip hang, and straightening out to pose parallel to the ground. I like that one.

So tired that I thought I was going to fall aleep behind the wheel on the way home. Unfortunately, that did *not* translate to getting a good night's sleep. :(

Friday: 133.5

Lunchtime BJJ Gracie Seattle.

Carlos asked how I was, and I told him that my legs were sore from yesterday's class (fronts of thighs). He was delighted. I don't think I could have given him a better compliment. He loves to hear when we are sore from his classes. It means we worked hard. He exclaimed "Good, hah?!" and I said, "Yes!"

Takedowns- grab opponent's left lapel with your rt hand. Pull and step back with your right foot, turning your body to your right as you do so. As opponent lurches forward, drop to your RIGHT knee and grab hir left heel; pick it up. I had my usual problem of dropping on the wrong damn knee over and over. I figured out, though, that part of my mental block this time was because doing it correctly left my chin right against the opponent's left knee, just waiting for him to piston it up and clock me if we were doing anything other than sport BJJ (and maybe even here, by accident). When I told this to Bryan, he of course demoed that it was impossible for me to clock him with *MY* knee, as he was doing the technique way too quickly and skillfully. Well, when I'm a brown belt, I hope I will be able to do it like that too- but right now I can't!

Pass guard from standing, with sitting opponent who has both knees up. Quickly kneel over hir shins and pinch hir legs together with yours. Throw your right arm over hir shoulder- hugging in close like s/he's your buddy, otherwise you'll get straight-armbarred. Pick up your left knee and hike it *HIGH* and *WIDE* as you swing over to the other side of the opponent and take side control. Rodrigo came over _TWICE_ to tell my I wasn't swinging the leg out far enough, so I really need to get my act together in that respect.

You standing, opponent sitting. Step between hir knee with your left foot, step to the outside of hir thigh with your right foot, turn your torso toward opponent and bring that left leg out *HIGH* and *WIDE* just like in the previous technique. When you set the foot dowm, set it close to the opponent's hip, then shoot your other foot out to base. I kept wanting to set the swinging foot out wide. The get KOB or side control.

Always nice to work with Bryan. He was getting a little frustrated with my constant habit of getting knee and elbow in the way of his side control. I wasn't doing it to be a crappy drilling partner; I was just trying to keep him off my ribs! It is a Black Crane defensive technique (which has a bonus **REALLY** gnarly elbow strike incorporated into it). I said that his ability to feel like a dump truck on my ribs is chi. He said it is physics. I also teased him about his hooking monkey feet.

Positional sparring with Bryan and Dave. Wow... I got Carlos yesterday, and today I get Dave and Bryan. I am getting to spend the week in pretty heady company, getting kicked around by black and brown belts!!

When it came time for open mat, I saw Dave drilling something by himself, and remembering how he's always talking in his blog about wanting to get extra drilling reps with people, I went over and asked him if he wanted to drill something on me. So he drilled some terribly complex inverted guard takedown that was way beyond my ability to understand, then offered to help me with something. I didn't have anything specific in mind, so I suggested that we spar a little, and I was sure something would present itself.

I spent quite a bit of time trying to choke him and otherwise wrap him up with his gi top (I had it completely off at one point, by which I ended up disadvantaging MYSELF, as we were now essentially fighting me gi and him no-gi). He went over some choke details with me, and suggested that I practice reps on my own gi top while watching TV or whatever, till I can stop having to pause and think about which way my grips and wrists need to go.

My initial grip- deep with my right hand cross collar, palm up- is fine, but as for the 2nd hand... first thing he pointed out is that I will have better luck if I sneak the second hand UNDER my first forearm instead of over. Then I need to get a grip with my palm _DOWN_. !!!!!DO NOT SPLAY THE ELBOWS OUT LIKE I'M DOING THE FUNKY CHICKEN!!!!! What a newbie flub, and here I am still doing it. Then roll the wrists so that I'm looking at the insides of my wrists.

Alternatively: Grab with the second hand palm UP (this is the way I instinctually want to do it) and roll my thumbs TOWARD me.

That was really nice to get a chance to work with Dave. I should have a couple of specific things in mind to ask for help with next time. It was a fun spar. I've hardly gotten any chance to work with him before now.

Was watching Rodrigo kneeling on the floor taping a white belt guy's foot for him. How cool is Rodrigo? He is just so nurturing to his students. I was also thinking today (this was before I saw him taping feet), I don't know how he remains so patient after all these years correcting- over and over and over- the same little dumbass mistakes we make in drills. In some cases, correcting the SAME PEOPLE over and over and over on those same little dumbass mistakes. Ahem.
I wish I was a better student for him. All I can do is keep trying.

Thursday

2012-02-16T15:37:00.000-08:00

“Great dancers are not great because of their technique,
they are great because of their passion.”
- Martha Graham

Note to self: do not use the lotion at work on mat burn or any other compromised skin. It claims to be scent-free and is made for use in a hospital setting, so I thought it would be okay, but it is *SO* not.

Sunday FOD: Touch Bridge. Standard version only. Do not forget the thrusty shovel kick right after the Tiger forearm wipes, and before the turn. Also: the kneel after the swirly figure-8 Dragon move is fist on BOTTOM, flat hand on TOP.

Resolution: end all my forms in fists-at-ribs chamber, to be followed by front hand-over-fist salute. I had fallen into the habit of imitating JM and adding a press-palms toward the floor after the fists-at-ribs chamber... because it looked crisp and neat-o. I think all of us fell into the habit of imitating that, since that girl was always standing in the front as if she was leading the class. JM is out of my life now, I can forget that she ever existed, and I do not need her lame fingerprints on my formwork. So there.

Monday FOD: Leopard at Dawn

Tuesday FOD: Tai Chi long form. How many hundreds… maybe even into the triple figures by now… of times have I repped the opening sequence of this form (which repeats in the openings off all three empty-hands tai chi forms)? It would be interesting to see the biofeedback stats, because I can feel all sorts of things happening on a cellular level as soon as I begin- even if I'm not feeling particularly relaxed and focussed. If you rep it enough times, a switch gets thrown on cue even if you're not wholly invested.

A few places where I had to stop and figure out sequence, in the spots where techniques repeat over and over in all three forms. I shudder to think what a tangled web this would be by now if I was being more sloppy about upkeep than I am.

Thursday: 133.0

Thursday lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Bellevue. This was my first time in the newly remodeled Bellevue school. The room is the same, but there is a second room beside it (connected by a door) that is almost as big... as well as a women's changing area (yay!) and a second bathroom (yay!)

Lots of warmup drills. The new mats are slippery!

One of the reasons I prefer going to Seattle instead of Bellevue (despite the longer drive and the horrid traffic) is that there is a much better likelihood of finding appropriate partners for me in Seattle. Today, being the last kid left on the sidelines after all the other kids had been picked for the kickball teams bought me a partnership with Professor Carlos. Yay! He even used me for some of the demos, which was an honor. I almost never get used for demos at GB. Even when I'm the ranking student in the room, the profs tend to pick someone closer to their own size to demo with... especially Carlos; I must admit that towering Carlos and I working together look like a clown act. I get so nervous and anxious on the rare occasions when I am asked to be the demo dummy at GB, as I'm always afraid I'll screw up really bad and look like a moron in front of all those people. This time, I only screwed up once... and the Prof was very nice about it, and corrected me, and I did it right the second time.

From the knees, double leg drills.

Then, from the knees, double leg. opponent sprawls and goes to the side.

Same, then variation a: opponent at the side gable grips over one shoulder and chest like a Miss America sash. pull opponent overtop of you and to the side, get one hook it. Pull opponent to the other side (using the LEG, don't pull hir over your chest and face! I had to be corrected on that) and get the second hook in.

Same, then variation b: this time the person who went to the side puts down the knee closest to the turtled person's head. Turtled person hugs that knee as if they're going to try for a single leg. Opponent gable grips around one shoulder and chest like a Miss America sash, and figure-4's hir feet to grip the other person's arm. Then dive over hir head, pull hir overtop of you, and switch the legs (if you fail to do this, the position you end up in allows the person to pull hir arm right out). Then clock choke and/or crucifix. Don't forget to use your hand to feed the collar to your other hand (I needed to be corrected on this as well). It was great to drill with Carlos, as he was able to really perfect everything for me.

One roll with the Prof. Of course he whalloped me, and I was gassing and panting like a spaniel, but I don't think I shamed myself too badly. We got to our feet at one point. I am so happy that my kung fu experience makes me unafraid of standup. Even facing a black belt whose head almost brushes the ceiling, I know he's gonna take me down, but I'm not *afraid*. Or too intimidated to work with it. I even defended a couple of his takedown attempts (granted he was going easy), and tried a couple of things myself.

Finally he got me in a choke and held me there while I wiggled helplessly like a worm on a hook. I tried every angle, and every single direction I could move in just tightened the choke worse.

One roll with a white belt guy. I was on top almost all the time, got some mounts, some KOB's. Finished one armbar, but that was all. He had a sprained wrist, so I didn't want to try to keylock him. He was defending most of my sub attempts well, and I gave him a few hints on the occasions when he didn't seem to be defending what I was going for... so I might have gotten a couple more subs if I hadn't been being nice.

We had to stop and move twice because we bumped into the Prof and his partner. The third time, my partner rolled over Carlos' foot, and Carlos had to go to the sidelines for a few minutes. I felt reeeeally bad. Carlos' legs are soooo long, and he uses up so much mat when he rolls. You can start out halfway across the mat from him, and in ten seconds you're crashing into each other. It was my partner's and my job to stay out of HIS way, though, so I felt bad.

One more half a roll with John (half a roll because he gassed out and quit halfway through). He was muscling me some, and I wasn't doing very well against him.

Black Crane Drill #5:

Begin in Black Crane high guard facing east and looking north.

Circle-and-grab with left hand in front of face, clasp fist near rt jaw.

Inside-to-outside crescent kick to north with rt foot. You have grabbed and kicked opponent #1. As you are kicking, scissor your straight and fisted rt arm to north overtop of the leg in the opposite direction.

As you put your foot back down (you are now in a high fwd stance with left foot in front), turn torso back to north with a snap. At the same time, palm-heel your left hand to the rear over your rt shoulder (palm facing south) and palm-heel your rt hand to the rear, groin level (fingers down, palm facing south). Note that this is similar to Five Points Of the Star. This is your 2nd opponent.

Step back a little more, kneel on left knee, and hoist the 2nd opponent who is behind you over your shoulder to drop hir on the ground in front of you. Note that you are not so much PULLING hir over your shoulder as you are getting UNDERNEATH hir.

Place hands on ground, back kick rt leg upward into groin of your 3rd opponent approaching from the rear. Do not kick till you LOOK and make sure you have targeted correctly.

Set rt foot down behind left, stand up and turn rt to face south. As you turn, bring rt elbow up beside rt ear to block. Left front punch belly level to south (3rd opponent) as you finish the turn. End in south-facing front stance (rt foot forward) with rt fist chambered at waist, Left fist with arm straight out belly level.

Hop a little to your left (east) and land on left foot, with rt fist guarding groin and rt hand in Black Crane guard at left jaw. Low snap kick to knee level east, left foot. (This is your 4th opponent.)

Rechamber foot, slide into a front stance facing east (left foot in front) as you double punch your 4th opponent head level to east. Your wrists are crossed, fists rotating. Rt fist on top.

Make a 1/2 turn to your rt to face west, bring hands straight-armed up-and-over back to Black Crane high guard and look north. You are now in the mirror pose of the stance you started in. Repeat drill on opposite side.

Urgent Care vs Emergency Room vs suck it up and stop whining

2012-02-14T09:07:00.000-08:00

Urgent Care vs Emergency Room vs suck it up and stop whining
--------------

Last night's shift has prompted me to share the following rant/public service message.

Emergency Room: This is where you go if you think you are going to die or lose a limb. These are true emergencies (hence the name). If you are having a heart attack, stroke, really bad asthma attack, chopped your own leg off at the thigh with your chainsaw. Do not attempt to drive yourself there. Call an ambulance.

Urgent Care: This is where you go for something that is urgent (hence the name) but not life threatening. A broken bone, a bad cut that won't stop bleeding (less than chainsaw-level severity), mild food poisoning, a UTI that isn't going to kill you but is a 3,968 on a pain scale of 1 to 10. You will get the same care here that you get in an ER, only at about 1/3 the cost and 1/3 the wait time, and you're not hogging a stretcher that should be going to the guy in line behind you with his intestines hanging out of the gash on his belly. If the Urgent Care staff determine that you really belong in an ER, they will transfer you there.

If you think you are going to die, do not go to the Urgent Care. You are a little more urgent than that.

If you stubbed your toe, or have the sniffles, you do not need to go to the Urgent Care nor the Emergency Room. Book a regular doctor's office appointment, if you must, and stop being a baby. If you have insurance, you are driving up everyone's premiums by running up a 4K ER bill for your goddamn sniffles. Do not go ahead and run up as big a bill as you want, and shrug and say "insurance is paying for it". That is male bovine feces. We are all paying for it. This is why so many of us can't afford health insurance- and of those of us who can, we are paying half our income for policies that exclude everything. If you do not have insurance, we the working taxpayers are footing your 4K ER visit for your goddamn sniffles. Please don't. You are a self-centered, dead-weight wuss, and if you really do die from your hangnail, you deserve it.

Things to not trifle with: chest pain, unexplained numbness (especially down one side of the body), drooping of half the face, unfamiliar severe headache, serious burns (esp to the hands), slurring of words, unexplained mental confusion, unexplained severe weakness or dizziness, serious cuts or other trauma injuries to the hands, face or genitals. Trauma to the spine. Concussions. Drug or alcohol overdoses (yes, it is possible to overdose and DIE on alcohol). Diabetic emergencies. Go to the ER. Any pustule or other skin break where it looks like the tissue is being eaten away. Go to the Urgent Care. You are not being a baby.
(Note that this is not a complete and exhaustive list of what not to trifle with- just a few common examples. Use sense.)

The only thing that grates my cheese more than people who go to the ER for stupid shit is people who sit at home and gush blood from both ends for days, then decide that it might be a good idea to mosey into the Urgent Care with a hemoglobin of 2.6 (TWO POINT SIX!!!! Jesus Wept!) just in time to go tits-up amongst the potted plants in the lobby.

Black Crane drills 1 through 4

2012-02-12T08:08:00.001-08:00

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to be over,
it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”
- Author Unknown

Friday: 133.5

Sunday: 132.0. FOD: Leopard Fist. Did just the standard version.

Monday FOD: Tiger Versus Crane. Standard version only. Note that the standard version starts out with a RIGHT Eagle claw. I'm finding that with the forms I've practiced "in the mirror" extensively, I'm often groping for "uhhh, which side is this...?" at the beginning- but once I get going, it's usually not much of a problem because each move flows into the next and they usually only make SENSE on one side.

Also note that after the hop with the "energy ball" and the flying crescent kick, you land in east-facing horse and turn directly to the south-facing Tiger crossed stance. I was wanting to stick the clawing-face-plant in there, but that is later.

Wednesday: 133.5
Sometimes my nightmares are very literal. Last night I dreamed that I was living in some dump, and got burglarized three times in rapid succession. They took everything of value. With what few scraps I could salvage, I was living in my car. Then, it shifted and I was leading about five dozen surviving refugees across a post-apocalyptic city in the dead of winter. That was very weird- but I think that with a few tweaks, I can use some of that last adventure in my weblit. ;-)

Acrobalance. Unfortunately, it seemed to be "couples' night" at the circus school, and all the bases came in already paired up with their own SO flyer, so I was the odd person out- which was awkward. Ended up switching out with the most inexperienced guy (again.... I need to try to avoid this happening every time), whose girlfriend was a six-foot-tall toothpick. One must base a five-foot-tall beginner hourglass completely differently from a six-foot-tall intermediate toothpick, so he was having a lot of issues.

Lots of side-star and cartwheel stuff. Keep the chest facing the wall and don't let it (and torso) roll towards the floor. Also remember to turn the leading toe out, and once up, the DANGLING toe needs to point toward the base and not towards the floor.

Propping yourself on blocks and balancing in an L shape while supporting your weight on your hands is a lot harder than it looks. Especially if your hips are too wide to fit between the blocks. Still feels like entering an alternate universe when I come in here and am "the heavy student" at 133.5lb.

Thursday: 133.5

Friday: 134.5 (I had some mustard-onion pretzels yesterday). FOD: Iron Needle

Last night in Somnalist Trauma Theater, I was at some kind of large event at a beach house when someone started shooting up the crowd. I instantly took off running like a rabbit without even turning to look. Points for rapid OODA, penalties for not trying to stop the guy from slaughtering the crowd. I was fleeing across the front lawn alone, and could see his shadow (and the shadow of the firearm, which looked like a damn bazooka) looming up on the grass to my left. There was no cover, and I am not a particularly fast runner (although I venture I may be faster than I think, if I ever find myself pursued by a nut job with a bazooka). I thought, "This is it," Then two people came out of the house to the left, and he started shooting at them, while I ran on. I did the exact same thing I'd done in my previous shoot-em-up dream a few months ago, which had disturbed me so.

This spring I need to renew my concealed pistol licence. I've had it for nine years now, and I haven't actually gotten around to procuring a gun. Since my knives showed up dependably in my violent dreams when I started carrying them in real life, I'm curious to know whether- should I buy a gun- I will start whipping that baby out during Somnalist Trauma Theater.

Saturday: 135. FOD: Southern Mantis. I haven't done this one in a while and was worried about my memory retention, but only a couple of minor problems. After the topfist, the cat stance needs to shift to an equal-weighted Mantis stance. The double low block after the head-smash is with Mantis hooking hands. (I'm not going to beat myself up over having done the heel-hand ones out of Three Step Arrow instead). The final move is a Mantis finger-poke with the left hand, not a hard block. Other than that, seems fine.

BLACK CRANE DRILLS 1 through 4:

+Crane 1 (double eyestrike)

Begin in high horse facing east and looking north. Double Eagle claw hands, palm down, rt in front of groin and left slightly north of left thigh.

Turn torso to north. Do not move feet. Double viper-hand eye strike to north.

Cross wrists, turn palms up and bring elbows together at solar plex. Forearms are now forming a "V" with flat palms toward you.

Step through with rt leg forward to north, turn to end in high horse facing west and looking north. As you step and turn, both Eagle claws circle up-and-over forward (rt at chin level, left at waist level) to end palm down, left in front of groin and rt slightly north of rt leg. You are now in the mirror of the stance you started with. Repeat drill on opposite side.

+Crane 2 (eagle claw eyestrike with two circles)

Begin in high horse facing east and looking north. Double Eagle claw hands, palm down, rt in front of groin and left slightly north of left thigh.

Left Eagle claw strike eye level to north.

Turn left palm abruptly toward your face. Hand is flat.

Scissor step rt foot behind left. Bring left palm to rt shoulder. Cross fisted rt arm in front of it, fist at left elbow.

Unwind to your right into high horse facing west, as Rt fist hammerfists chest level to north, palm down. Left hand is now palm-up against left shoulder.

Scissor step left foot behind rt. Double Eagle claw strikes downward- left in front of groin, rt just north of rt thigh.

Unwind to your left into high horse facing east. As you come around, drag whatever you have gripped with your Eagle claws along with you (possibly over your right hip/knee). Also get a left elbow strike in as you rotate.

End the same way you began: high horse facing east and looking north. Double Eagle claw hands, palm down, rt in front of groin and left slightly north of left thigh.

Repeat. Practice off both sides.

+Crane 3 (corkscrew punch)
Begin in high horse facing east and looking north. Double Eagle claw hands, palm down, rt in front of groin and left slightly north of left thigh.

Circle left arm clockwise in front of face to end at groin, still in Eagle claw to block/seize.

Corkscrew punch rt hand overtop of left arm, at waist level, while using left hand grip to pull opponent into your punch. End with rt little finger up. Torso can turn fwd, but do not move feet. (The fist stays in one place once it's struck the hypothetical target, and the ELBOW rotates around the axis. Extend the punch fully. It's okay if the shoulder hunches up a little.)

Step through to north with rt foot and turn to end in high horse facing west and looking north. As you step and turn, both Eagle claws circle up-and-over forward (rt at chin level, left at waist level) to end palm down, left in front of groin and rt slightly north of rt leg. You are now in the mirror of the stance you started with. Repeat drill on opposite side.

+Crane 4 (backfist to ground)
Begin in Black Crane high guard- high horse facing east and looking north, left arm out straight to north shoulder height, hand in "stop" position; rt "stop" hand at rt jaw. Toes are pointing northeast.

Turn to north and sink into front stance left foot fwd. Rt Eagle claw stabs palm-down in front of groin. Left Eagle claw out straight to north shoulder height.

Lift left foot into White Crane one-foot guard stance. Arms cross wrists at groin and then circle up-and-out to end in Crane-necks flightly to front of sides of temples. Elbows are bent.

Left hand goes to rt hip with grabbing motion. At the same time, Rt Crane's beak stabs north chest height, and left foot firemans' kick to north. (Note that the side that you kick with is the side that the grab BEGINS on. The subsequent Crane's Beak strike is with the other side.)

Little hop starting with left leg, as if you are stepping/jumping on the bent-over opponent. Torso and left toe turn northwest. Touch rt toe down briefly, then…

Outside-of-the-foot rt kick to downed opponent's head (or belly, or groin, or whatever). Pull foot back in. May touch toe down briefly if need be. Left hand is doing Black Crane ward at rt jaw.

Drop into deep lunge rt foot in front, left leg straight. Snappy knuckle-strike (like Monkey slep, only fisted) to downed opponent's head. Left hand still warding rt jaw.

Stand up in Black Crane high guard facing west.

Repeat drill on opposite side, OR….. Turn back to east with Black Crane arm switch.

My spirit misses kung fu. My body misses kung fu. My mind misses kung fu. My emotions have such painful associations with kung fu. I and kung fu are a moth circling a lit tiki torch. I am so bitter toward SK for several reasons, but one of the biggies is that he poisoned that well for me. I do so wish I had never laid eyes on that asshole.

Thursday

2012-02-02T22:24:00.001-08:00

”We either make ourselves miserable,
or we make ourselves strong.
The amount of work is the same.”
- Carlos Castaneda

Friday- 131.0. FOD: Kiu Two. I had to look up the opening techniques of both sides. For some reason, I had Snake Versus Five Animals stuck in my head, and kept wanting to do the openings of that one instead. Note that Kiu Two starts with a LEFT punch for Snake A (not a rt punch as in Sv5), and a left FORWARD step for Snake B (not a left back step as in Sv5).

It just occurred to me that I know as many Snake forms as the Black Sash Snake stylist does.

Note that I need to check my FOD bowl and make sure there is at least one stone for the Green Dragon form.

Darby never got back to me. I guess he's too scared I'll want to spar. I'm a little annoyed that I didn't get to finish learning Green Dragon from him, but then he didn't get all of Hurricane Hands from me either.

Sat FOD: Wood Monkey. Don't forget that the first roll culminates with an axe kick, then a double back-of-the-hand strike down.

The arm circles immediately after that- I'm doing them clockwise, even though I am pretty sure I was taught counterclockwise. Clockwise makes more sense to go into the next strike. Since I no longer have a teacher, I am going to do them as I darn well see fit. So there.

Note that the rear roll is over the RIGHT shoulder, and the kick is with the left leg. The first time I did it, I wasn't sure which shoulder/leg it was- but it quickly became apparent that doing it left-shoulder-right-leg leaves you facing the wrong way for the technique that comes right after.

Sunday FOD: Three Step Arrow. I keep wanting to confuse this with Spear Hand- both fragments, both Mantis, both referring to weapons that you're not actually using.

Cutting down my soda intake a bit. One less here, one less there. Unfortunately, the Mountain House chicken a la king is full of hot peppers, which make me want to drink soda!

Mon FOD: Chen Dao. Used the broom handle as a substitute dao. A few moments of cluelessness as I tried to dredge up the opening- but once into it, I was fine till I got to the end and wanted to do the closing movements out of catherine Dao instead. I checked my notes, ran through both endings… they are quite similar, although each form has you in a different position *entering* the sequence.

Less soda today. Feeling some withdrawl.

Tues FOD: Little Red Dragon. I feel like I haven't done this one in a long time, but it (standard and mirror versions) went fine aside from the fact that I accidentally did three Dragon claws at the opening instead of two. It goes 2 claws, elbow strike, 3 claws. Just to mix you up further, Lun Chi begins with an identical opening, only using 3 Dragon claws.

This has always been one of my favorite forms. It's a short little thing, but it feels good, and it has the prettiest flying kick in it. JB's looks prettier- but mine is not bad, as long as I'm fully stretched out! I had to micro-fu it tonight at work, because I can't do good flying kicks in certain of my work pants.

Thursday: Arial silk. I was kind of dragging ass tonight for some reason- I tired easily, and actually started to get a little queasy near the end, with all the upside down- and don't feel like I advanced much. One important thing re: the basic climb- if I place my feet while my knees are still bent instead of waiting till they're half straightened, I get a higher climb.

Someone found my blog by searching on "spots on a toddler's groin pictures". I find that disturbing. Hopefully it was a parent looking to research some rash they found on their kid... but I don't recall having done any blogging about toddlers' groins.

Chess on the mat

2012-01-26T23:06:00.000-08:00

One of the first things to do is learn to accept, and to expect this Power to flow through everything we do. –Ernest Holmes

Sunday: 133.0

I got fast food yesterday- still working on the book of excellent and tempting coupons that Arby's hands out over the holidays. I was good, though- I cut the roast beef sandwiches (no condiments) in half, and also split up the fries to make small portions and stretch everything into multiple meals. Yesterday I also recieved the dehydrated Mountain House food I'd ordered- chicken a la king and beef stew. I adore that stuff. It's not cheap, and it's caloric, but you make your own portions and prepare them just by adding hot water (from kettle or microwave) and letting it sit for 5 min. "Make your own portion sizes" can be good as long as you are disciplined- but you have to be disciplined- it's easy to want to make a biggie portion if you're hungry. The ease of preparing this stuff, though, makes it simple to make a smaller amount and say, "If I'm still hungry after eating this, I'll just make a little more." It's also nice that it's dehydrated and you don't have to worry about it going bad for a long time. Portable, and doesn't have to be refrigerated unless you've already reconstituted it. We've had some instances of lunch theft in the employee lounge at work recently. I always worry about that, since I work alone at night. If my lunch gets stolen, I can't leave and go get food- I'm hosed. Another thing- I am not good about eating veggies; the Mountain House beef stew has lots of peas and carrots and things in it that I normally don't eat much of- so that's a good veggie-eating incentive. Both of these varieties are generous on the actual meat. It seems like most food companies want to try to get away with measuring out the bare minimum of meat that they can include, load up on the cheaper fillers, and still legally call their product a "meat" dish. Sometimes I end up buying extra meat and supplementing certain prepared dishes of this type (If I still consider them worth buying at all!). Mountain House chicken a la king has lots of chicken, and their beef stew has lots of beef.

Monday: FOD- Mantis Bo. I didn't do it. Bump to Tuesday.

Tuesday: FOD: Mantis Bo. Used the bamboo staff. So light, so short, so different-feeling. I don't think I'd actually try to do most of the staff strikes with this, if it was a real combat situation. Tangling up the feet and such, sure. Stabbing with the end (the ends of this staff are actually cut on an angle, so stabbing would be BETTER... easier to maneuver due to the decreased length, too). This staff is a bit thicker, too- not the best size for my hands to wrap around.

136. Gak. Sadly, I can't lay this at the door of the Arby's. This was too much Mountain House. Obviously, dipping out of the bulk container is resulting in too much portion-size upcreep. I shall solve this with a measuring cup and individual pre-allotted 1-serving baggies.

Wednesday: Measuring out one cup servings of the Mountain House. Sigh. It's a sad thing. Already back down to 134, though. One cup is 290 calories... sheesh. The beef stew is fewer.

Acrobalance. More practice on the standards, and a few new things: paired rolls with two people forming a wheel, each holding the other's ankles... standing on the shoulders of a seated base with no handholds, then transferring to standing on that person's hands (I managed the shoulders after a couple tries; was not successful with the handstand).

Also- plank with your feet on a big ball, then pike your butt up and try to get your torso vertical and your body folded as closely as possible. I had an easier time with this than most people due to my excellent balance and decent core strength, but even one or two reps is a workout.

The teacher made a point of coming up to me after class to tell me that she was enjoying having me there. That was cool.

Thursday- 131.5. Yowza. The measuring cup, unpleasant as it is, rules. I want to get a new tattoo on my hip, and it would be good to be back down to 124 first so that it will be in the right place and stay the right shape.

Evening BJJ at Gracie Seattle. It was supposedly "all levels" tonight, but Rodrigo had two sets of complex, two-sided, multi-step techniques to teach.

Standup: Sleeve & lapel grip, step on opponent's hip on the side that you have the sleeve. Sit down, place other foot on opponent's other hip. Let go of lapel grip and grab opponent's ankle. Yank yourself between hir feet and wind left leg around the back of opponent's rt leg, placing foot on hir hip. Use your rt knee to pinch hir leg between both of yours, take down. DON'T LET GO OF SLEEVE (I always have trouble with that). Get into side control, but allow opponent to grab half guard so that s/he can do the next technique.

From bottom half guard: frame up and shrimp out, reach the arm that's on the mat under opponent to grab hir ankle. Wrap other arm around the backs of hir thighs. Switch feet (don't cheat or skip this). Get to knees, pulling opponent's bottom half toward you with your arms and stretching hir leg out with your hooked toe, till you can put hir on hir back and get on top.

I was having some trouble with that bottom half guard one... it was hard to get my short arms all the way around the opponent's bottom half, and I was having a problem with stretching his leg out- I never did quite figure out what I was doing wrong with that part, other than I seemed to be wanting to get to my knees too soon.

Next: same beginning from standup, only as soon as you sit, switch your sleeve grip to a cross-sleeve grip. Now use your ankle hold to turn into inverted guard, and continue into an omoplata. Do a sitback all the way over the opponent and grab a triangle. Opponent's turn: grab the pantleg on the bent knee, and move around to the opposite side to put your knee in ther person's ribs. Pull/pry enough to get your arm out, then get the "seatbelt" guard passposition.

The most trouble I was having with this one was that sitback... just couldn't seem to get the flow quick and smooth. Also, I think I should have been hiking my hips up higher and being more forceful going into the omoplata, but I think my partner was being a bit *too* helpful about diving into it willingly.

Had to sit out the first live roll- I was so tired! Then went once with one of the female white belts, and once with Angela. Angela got me two or three times with a complicated series of moves ending in a sub I never saw coming. It was like chess.... I can't really wrap my brain around planning more than a move or two in advance, but some people have dozens of moves lined up in their minds. It really showed up the difference between Angela's level and mine. I hope that when I am at her level, I will be able to play better chess on the mat.

I tried the takedown of the day on her and F'ed it up, but good for me for attempting it.

Two and a half good practices

2012-01-21T17:48:00.000-08:00

Many people receive the answer to their prayers, but ignore them- or deny them, because the answers didn’t come in the expected form. –Sophy Burnham

Thursday: SORE today. Upper back mostly. Rt shoulder. Well, both shoulders actually. Tired as well. That was really a vast amount of strenuous exercise yesterday, and my conditioning is not at its best right now. Just couldn't seem to get in gear for class at all today.

Friday FOD: Tai chi short form. Special attention to weight shifts, and also the hand-spreading correction CK gave me while she was here.

Sat FOD: Five Points Of the Star (standard version only). Shoulder aches... wish I knew what the heck was going on with that.

Sun FOD: Bung Bo Kuen (standard version only).

Mon FOD: White Crane- Walking the Path. Note that the kneel at the end is on the LEFT knee, the following snap kick also with the left. This is indeed a snap kick, not ball-of-the-foot. Wrap right hand around knee at the kneel.

Tuesday: for some reason this morning, Angry Snake Defends Its Lair popped into my head- in the manner of, "OMG, I haven't done that form in forever, do I even remember it at all?!!?!" I went so far as to dump out my bowl of FOD stones and make sure there was a token for Angry Snake. There was. That night, guess what I randomly drew for the FOD? Note that after the first stab, there is a scissor step with the right leg in front as you turn. The first run-through, I forgot that step, although I somehow ended up on the correct leg by the time I did the next turn. Pleasing discovery- the small broom in the coagulation department- which is the *only* object in the whole place which is stick-like and longer than a ruler- you can unscrew the brush and remove it. This makes it a short but acceptable sword, dao and bo substitute in a pinch.

Note to self- I need to start analyzing the repetitive motions I'm doing at work, as I'm beginning to wonder if it has something to do with my rt shoulder issues. It's been a week without any workout aside from FOD, and my shoulder still aches fiercely. Last time this happened, I mimed my workday for an ergonomics guy, and we realized that my shoulder ached because I was repeatedly reaching my right arm across my body in order to stick the micro loop in the burn tunnel. Switched the flame to the right side of the counter, and all was well. This may be a similar issue.

Friday: One of the things I like least about Seattle is that the entire region is paralyzed by the slightest dusting of snow. Everything closes, all your classes are cancelled, you don't get your mail, your trash isn't picked up, your electricity and internet are shut off. This week, they were ANTICIPATING snow on Wednesday, so everything shut down on Monday so that we could all get a jump on the hand-wringing and stocking up of canned goods (assuming you could find a store that was open). Both BJJ schools have been closed all week, and my silk class on Thursday was cancelled.

Saturday: An excellent two and a half classes today.

Morning at Gracie Seattle. John and I did a few armbar drills together to warm up.

One person on hir back, one person standing. Bottom person sits up and wraps around one leg of standing person, then try to take standing person down. Unfortunately, within the first couple of minutes of doing this, I heard/felt my busted finger pop again. Grrrrrrrrr.

Side control. Bottom person frames, pushes, reaches one arm under top person's armpit, tries to roll to belly. Top person whizzers the arm, shoves hand a little further to prop behind partner's neck. TAKE FAR KNEE OFF MAT, scuttle around to the other side, take side control. Lather, rinse, repeat. It's a good (and exhausting) flow drill even at a modest pace. You could also attack that arm- being on the bottom is a good place to find your shoulder popped if partner is not careful. The class was full of high school wrestlers today- one of our blue belts is their coach, and he brought them in. Luckily I had pounced on John, one of my fave classmates. I wouldn't have wanted to do that particular drill with a spazzy high school boy. At one point I told him he felt a little loose, and suggested he tighten it up a bit. UUURK! Yup, yup, now it's perfect. Ow.

I attacked Ron during the break, and got my butt kicked by him.

I was waffling about staying for hour #2.... basics followed by competition class is a daunting prospect at the best of times, and I'm out of shape & I'd also promised Cindy I'd come in today. I decided to do 1/2 of the competition class.

King of the hill relays, pass guard vs sweep. I actually seemed to be holding my own here. I passed several guards, and put up a decent fight against the people I didn't pass. I even got a compliment from black-belt Dave (SIDE CONTROL). Passing guard is one of my strong areas, though. Of course I was useless whan it came my turn on the bottom. But whoo-hoo, I PASSED RON'S GUARD!!!!!! I'm so excited. I can't remember the last time I passed Ron's guard, or for that matter accomplished ANYTHING against Ron. He's that good. So that was a very happy moment for me.

I notice we have a lot of 4-stripe white belts on the mat right now. I think we are going to have a very blue spring coming up.

Angela came in just as I was leaving... bummer. It would be nice to get a chance to work with her again soon. I also was disappointed to not get a chance to work with Z this time, even though he was in my relay group (the "Short Guys" group).

I got a hug from Rodrigo when I came in, and a second one when I left! Part of me is really not wanting to trust- much less hero-worship- teachers right now, after some of my bad experiences. But it's hard to resist Rodrigo. He's got *SO* many students, but he goes out of his way to make you feel like you matter to him as an individual, and I really appreciate that. Like Georgette, I confess to "daddy issues"... I keep wanting to cast Rodrigo as the supportive daddy I always wished I had.

Left class with a weird and rather severe palm-sized abrasion on my chest. It looks and feels like a burn. I don't remember how it happened. I felt really good, though. It was a great practice.

From there, I headed to Sleeper. No-gi. I had gi pants, because I've got some scrapes on my shins that I didn't want to expose to other people's sweat and MRSA. Unfortunately, as usually happens, I had to keep reminding people to not grab my pants!

A couple of guard passes- basic ones, but some of the ones that I tend to get mixed up as regards the correct foot/hand/knee to use.

Then a more complex one, where you're standing, and the sitting opponent wraps around one leg. You pull your other leg back, get down real low, wrap your arm around hir neck/head like s/he's your buddy, grab hir ankle, and sit back. Crush hir head under your shoulder. Peel hir opposite leg off your ankle and kick leg back and out, turn to belly, take side control.

Then some king of the hill relays, pass guard vs whatever. I don't know if it was because I was already warmed up and practiced from doing the same thing earlier, or if the other students were too new (they seemed newer than me, but not clueless-new), but again I was doing fairly well. I passed everybody's guard, and even finished a triangle from the bottom- a *very* rare occurance for me- so I was very happy again. I tried another triangle later, but the guy defended well, and I couldn't _quite_ finish that one. Good for me, though, for trying- as I usually don't even try those. They just presented themselves, and I went for it without making a conscious decision on the matter. Yay.

A little sparring, and again I was on fire- didn't get tapped, got several taps... again, a rarity for me, as my subs are still fairly poor as a rule. I was especially pleased to do well in no-gi- in which I tend to be less skilled than in gi.

Cindy's better; her headaches and mental disturbances from the accidents are improving, which is a relief. Her back still needs some more healing time, but she's almost at the point of being able to get back on the mat. It was very nice to see her again, too.

Wednesday

2012-01-11T21:43:00.001-08:00

No man, however civilized, can listen for very long to African drumming, or Indian chanting, or Welsh hymn singing, and retain intact his critical and self-conscious personality. –Aldous Huxley

Saturday: 132.5

Finger is significantly swollen- not just at the kinky tip, but the entire length. Slightly discolored. Hurts. Can't close a fist completely.

I also have lots of funny green bruises on the fronts of my shins. MM's shins and knees don't feel like they're made out of cement, the way CK's do- but he kicks a LOT.

It took 2 days for the bodily-backlash from Arial Silk to show up- sore hip flexors and thighs! Ow! It's good, though- CK is always complaining about my tight hip flexors, and God knows the thighs can always use more work. Both arial silk and acrobalance involve a lot of SPLITS- or at least as close as one can get. I have never been able to do the splits- either the Chinese kind or the front-to-back kind- even as a high school cheerleader. I can get close, but no joy. On the silk, I can do double foot locks and use my body weight to try to squeeze another inch out of it.

Drum circle- went well. My sleep cycle was all messed up this weekend, and my brain was not cooperating as far as getting creative with rhythms and chants (especially as I was confined to stick drums), but luckily the old standbys served. I was being conservative with both fequency and volume on the bell drum so that it would not become obnoxious, but at one point the didge player crawled over and propped his microphone right under the bell drum- so I guess he thought I should be louder! There was a new flute player there, and after the circle closed, he came over and told me that he would have liked to hear more from the bell drum. When I told him that I was trying to not dominate the circle with it, he laughed and said that he had been minimizing the flute for the same reason. That was funny, because *I* had been wanting to hear more from the flute! It's usually the wrong people who are anxious about overusing an instrument. The truly obnoxious ones are oblivious!

I tried a shamanic beat on Ascha, my big frame drum, as I usually do one time per circle. It's always interesting to see what happens with that. This time, they did not know what to do with it, but it got them very excited nonetheless. They tried to join in, and it was complete and utter chaos.... but they seemed to be grooving on it, and two people got up to dance, so I kept going for a while even though I had to work hard to tune out the chaos and keep the beat!

(Bell drum is in the picture, in case you don't know what a bell drum is...)

Sunday FOD: Frolic Of the Five Animals. I didn't work on the mirror form. Can *almost* make a fist today.

Monday FOD: Tai Chi short form. I didn't do it. Sigh. I'm having a really hard time disciplining myself right now with this.

Wednesday lunchtime BJJ at GB Seattle.

I wore my newly-tailored GB gi for the first time- the sleeve cuffs are the most annoying part now; they are so wide and gaping that everyone loves to grab them.

Finger did mostly okay; I still can't do a real fist, but I can grip as long as I do it carefully.

Warmups- huff, puff, huff.... oh, cardio.....

Double-legs.... my breakfalls still need work; once I hit the back of my head on the mat. (Eyeroll)

You double-leg, partner guillotines and pulls guard. You cartwheel to the OPPOSITE side of partner's body before he can close guard, pry your head out, and take side control. If you go to the wrong side, you choke yourself. (You only do this once before you learn.) Partner shrimps out and closes guard (or gets spider guard, or whatever s/he wants).

You double-leg, partner tries to guillotine. You change to single-leg (on the same side that you are getting guillotined), pull the knee to your chest, swing your body out to the side, sit down, and pull/shoulder your partner into falling forward. Partner must let go of the guillotine to avoid doing a face-plant on the mat. This took several slow-mo's before I caught the hang, but once I did, it was nice. Luckily I was working with Marc; we do well at helping each other work through things. Prof. Carlos' demo was funny because he tried to tell us that this technique was a little bit "complicated"- he tried to say "complicated" about five times and couldn't quite wrap his tongue around it. Finally I interjected, "Hard".

Open mat, I rolled with one of the new white belt women, Moe. She is really, REALLY strong. She claimed to have no martial arts experience. After rolling for a couple minutes and feeling how muscular she was, I was like, "Okay, wait a minute here..." then she fessed up to dance. That explains it. She has little technique, but enough basics that combined with the incredible strength and the extra weight, she was a real challenge. She's gonna be trouble as soon as she gets a little technique! We kept going till two o'clock- even Rodrigo left, and told us to lock the door behind us.

Acrobalance. I decided that in light of the persistantly painful and unreliable right shoulder, I would be judicious about what I tried to base- although I continue to wish for more practice at it. I declined to do table-stacking unless I was on the apex, but I did base some cathedrals and some plank-to-walkovers. My balance was a mixed bag. Basing is much more challenging for me than flying, which is part of the reason I want to do more of it.

Noticed during cartwheel lifts that one hip was much more flexible than the other. When I was supposed to drop my left hip, the leg went right down like a dead log. When I was supposed to drop my right hip, I relaxed it- and very little happened. That leg just kept sticking out stiffly.

I didn't get to do a whole lot tonight because there were a lot of people, and a lot of beginners. My good balance, and the fact that I'm not afraid to be dropped, makes me a good person for the virgin bases to practice on. I'm heavier than several of those wispy little girls, though... a couple of times, I was like, "You should probably do your first run on this other girl who looks like she weighs about 30lb less than I." It's a lot more about the correct form than about weight.... but with people (and I'm including myself) who aren't very experienced at this, our form is not always correct enough to support a good deal of weight, and so 30lb more or less really *does* make a difference at this level. I'm seeing that acrobalance is like some forms of partnered dance- in that when you're the one being lifted and thrown, there is a pressure (overt or subtle; from others and/or from yourself) to attempt to drop weight and be as light as possible.

Some pain in the upper back tonight. Also fighting a headache (which had begun halfway through BJJ class earlier; perhaps as a result of that flubbed breakfall) all the way through class.

Thursday

2012-01-06T11:14:00.000-08:00

Freeing the body inevitably leads to freeing the heart. –Gabrielle Roth

a

Friday- 131.5. FOD: Spear hand. Note that the first footwork motion is into FRONT stance. When I went though this, I was doing Seven Stars. For the past several months, I have been inadvertantly changing a whole bunch of stances to Seven Stars. I had previously assumed that it was because I had repped Spear Hand and Southern Mantis so much; but now I am starting to wonder if subconscously my body is thinking Seven Stars is going to be less painful on my knees. Disturbing, if so.

Saturday FOD: Lun Chi

Sunday FOD: Silken Needle. Note that there are THREE side-pushes, and they go 2, 2, 1. I can never remember that.

Monday FOD: Cannon Fist. Not happy with the way this went today; going to roll it over into tomorrow.

Tuesday FOD: ergo- Cannon Fist.

Thursday: Picked up MM and took him to my (non-MA) gym for a few hours of sparring. It was great, all except for the part where I jammed my busted finger before we'd even broken a sweat. God, it hurt. I didn't want to waste the opportunity to work out, though- so after a short break huddled against the wall gritting my teeth and cradling the hand to my chest, then sticking it in the water fountain, I fisted it and continued. It was definitely a handicap to keep the hand fisted- it's my dominant hand, and I do a lot of grabbing, clawing and poking. A lot of Tiger, Snake and Mantis is nullified when you have to keep your hand fisted. I did, however, do a little better about remembering to not stop kicks with my hands- or if I did, to at least use the heel and keep the fingers out of the way.

His head seemed to be surrounded by an impenatrable forcefield, but I got lots of belly and groin attacks in. The scissor-step underhanded Tiger strike to the groin was not working on him as well as it had been working on CK, and I couldn't discern why. He often has all four limbs moving simultaneously, which is very distracting, and you don't know where to guard. He got me a lot with the trick of striking with left leg and right arm together, or vice versa. That one always gets me. Another thing that was working for him was hand strikes shooting from underneath or rolling overtop the opposite arm. The ones coming from underneath never looked like they had range- until they hit me.

That right elbow of his was the bane of my existance. Everywhere I turned, it was in my face. The Wing Chun that he has been practicing is really showing there. Often I impaled *myself* on the elbow while I was trying to come in on him. He tried to guillotine me a LOT, but it was very easy to escape.

He was very skilled with blocking my close-in knee strikes. It was very hard to avoid telegraphing those with my balance shifts. With someone who can read those well, I need to be better at discerning which ones are positioned well enough to be worth going for and which are fruitless.

Another thing that I did well today was to pay careful attention to my focus level. As soon as I started to get frustrated and noticed my focus level drop, I asked for a short break- instead of continuing and allowing the frustration/focus drop to lead me to do stupid stuff and get clobbered MORE, which is a self-perpetuating cycle.

Great practice; I was really happy that he had made the time. Hope to do it again next time he's in town (prob next fall). I'd like to take him over to Sleeper for a little grappling if we get the chance next time- although that will probably sink my goal of getting one tap on him before he learns and formal grappling! We did end up on the floor once today, and were both trying for footlocks- I *still* can't manage one, dang it.

Arial Silk at the circus school. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do this today with my re-injured finger- it hurt (and so did that perpetual sore rt shoulder), but was managable. Most of the same stuff from last time, munus the double foot locks and the second climb technique (although I did get a little time to play with double footlocks). One new thing- flying Dutchman. Single footlock with both silks, then split the silk and twirl your body around the side that your foot it locked, wrapping the silk around your ankle and pushing it down with the opposite foot. Three up and then three down. Note that this one is a little dangerous, especially if you're high up, because it's a little hard to get unwrapped again and you have to make sure you leave yourself enough energy to get yourself out of what you've gotten yourself into. Also, I need to keep my body stiffer on the twirl and keep it more controlled instead of storta throwing myself into it.

Note on the climb- after bracing the foot, stick both legs out stiffly to make an L shape with the body, then pull the hips to the silk. Taking the extra time and care to do each of these steps cleanly resulted in a better climb.

I was not doing very well emotionally today, and wrestled with anger and depression. It was frustrating, because today was almost identical to last Thursday, when I worked out with CK and MM and then took them to Shaolin- except that week I went straight home afterward instead of distracting myself with circus school, which should have made me MORE susceptible to sinking into angst. But I had been doing pretty well the last several days, and backslid today. I wish I had a better understanding of the triggers.

Friday: 132

I had been looking forward to some BJJ today, and am quite vexed. But my finger is very painful, and I don't think it's up to grappling. I hope it will heal quickly. I really have got to get some grappling in before the next work rotation begins. Also, I have to host the drum circle tomorrow. Stick drums for me, sigh.

When I decided that I could just live with the modest amount of pain and disfunction presented by that busted finger, I hadn't really thought about its potential for RE-INJURY. If it's going to be frequently reinjured- and take a long time to heal- something may need to be done. Unfortunately, the health insurance I was hoping to manifest has not manifested, and will have to wait another year.

The "eat small frequent meals" technique

2012-01-03T22:15:00.000-08:00

The perils of the "eat small amounts only when hungry" method......

4:00-

Kitsune: "Work is caught up. We can take a break if we want. We could eat something....?"

Kitsune's stomach: "Nahh, I'm not hungry."

Kitsune's depression: "Yo, broad, you got any chocolate? No? {heavy sigh} Then you better give me another caffeine hit, or else I'll swallow you. Let's stop at Safeway on the way home and get some chocolate, eh? Or some red velvet cupcakes. How about both?"

Kitsune's stomach: "Still not hungry. But you know I won't complain if you send down some doughnuts."

4:10-

Kitsune's stomach: "YAAAAAAAAAHHHHRRRGGGGH! STARVING! STARVING HERE! **HEY**, we're starving!!! I know you're busy now, but I'm not going to let you focus on anything till you feed me."

Kitsune's depression: "See, idiot, if you had a box of peanut butter bars in your bag, we wouldn't be having this issue."

Fast food and calorie counts

2012-01-01T23:08:00.001-08:00

Glamour Magazine has a cool little regular feature called "You can have this....... or all this." The first panel shows a main course food item with maybe a side dish or two. The second panel shows a similar main course food item with some lower-cal tweaks, at least twice as many side dishes, and usually a dessert thrown in. The calorie counts of the two panels are identical. It's very interesting. Sometimes it's surprising where the real calorie load lies, and what small things you can tweak to get a big payoff in terms of fewer calories.

http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2011/07/calorie-math

I'm not an obsessive calorie-counter, and I don't want to be... but I think it's a good thing to have a decent working concept of what you're eating and what easy, painless substitution options you have to make it a little better.

Topic: fast food.

A McDonalds' Angus mushroom and swiss burger has 770 calories. Just deal with that concept for a minute. (A different website puts it at 820.)

Now, in my defense, I don't eat a large amount of fast food- and when I do, I most often get a grilled chicken sandwich sans mayo, which is one of the lesser evils. Also, I frequently get JUST the sandwich, skipping the fries and sugary soda which usually double the calories of your meal.

When I splurge with a McDonald's Angus mushroom swiss, I ask for no mayo, and *always* cut the burger in half to stretch it into two meals. Even so: an Angus burger meal (with fries and soda) using only half the burger is still 1045 calories. Zow. That is most of the *daily* recommeded calorie count for a person my size.

A regular McDonalds' cheeseburger all by itself (which fills me up, honestly) is 320 calories. So is an Arby's regular roast beef.

A McDonalds' grilled chicken (skip the mayo) is 300. Get it crispy, and it shoots up to 500.

A quarter pounder with cheese meal is 1190 calories. A cheeseburger Happy Meal (which fills me up) is half of that: 550 calories. And you still get your french fry fix.

Grilled chicken clubs, which are some of my faves: Mcdonalds' GCC is 594 calories. If I go to Jack In the Box instead, a GCC is a slightly more rightous 530. (Danger Point: At Jack In the Box, though, there is the irresistable chocolate shake: 660 calories for a small.)

Thursday

2011-12-29T20:16:00.000-08:00

What you do instead of your work is your REAL work. –Roger Ebert

Thursday: 132.5

Met CK and MM at lunchtime, and spent 4-5 hours round-robin sparring.

As yesterday, we were on a wood floor, so no takedowns and very little groundwork. MM and I did go to the ground once and had a long struggle there. He's the one who took me down. He took back mount, but I defended the choke and shucked him off neatly. I got on top and mostly stayed there, but couldn't sub him. Finally he totally gave up his back, and I latched on- but as I already knew, he is smart enough to keep his chin down, and I just couldn't get in. It was close, though. Eventually I had to bail out of the spar from pure exhaustion, and conceed the win to him. It was fun, though. I would have done better if we were wearing gi's!

They were both doing a Dragon technique a few times which involves a 360-turn, and I was so close to being able to jump on for an RNC- but they were both just a wee bit too tall. With someone a bit slower, I could have leaped for it- which I have done on occasion with others, successfully- but they are both too quick. Anyhow, we were not allowed to do chokes/headlocks etc on CK because of the neck problems she is having right now.

When it wasn't my turn, I mostly watched and learned- but at one point, when they had been going a long time and I was worrying about stiffening up, I went through a little Southern Mantis and Green Dragon. Mantis seems good, although I want to check a few things in my notes. Having a little trouble with Green Dragon- I have neglected it too long. I will be able to rebuild it when I review my notes, though. (Again and again, I thank whatever whim/fortune/precognitive flash/deity/MA fairy that caused me to transcribe everything right before I lost my teacher and class.)

I am not doing that well with either of these people at belly-to-belly range. They are both VERY strong, have incredible root (CK is like a tree), and vast skill/technique. They were both suggesting that I not work so close up, and I hope I'm not being too much of a stubborn and clueless lower-level student to argue... but I think I was holding my own as well as could be expected given the experience and size inequalities. I have serious conviction by now- borne of extensive sparring experience with multiple people of varying levels- that I simply **must** work close in. Every single time I don't, the same thing happens: they bash me a few times as I'm disengaging; then they bash me some more while we're at distance, since everyone's reach is longer than mine and they can reach me while I can't reach them; then they get in a couple more bashes as I'm moving back in. That sort of thing frustrates and demoralizes me very quickly. It's better to just get close and stay there. And really, it DOES work a lot better on most other people than it does on CK and MM. They are fairly comfortable sparring pressed right up against me (although I did have them both backing off from time to time when I drove in with lengthy unbroken chains of aggressive strikes), but a lot of people just aren't. Besides, being pressed right up against the opponent in standup is just vertical BJJ, in a lot of ways. I find myself using a lot of the same skills- which are improving the longer I train BJJ. Anyone- even really experienced people that I respect a lot- is going to have a hard sell at this point trying to get me to spar unarmed at anything more than kissing distance.

They wear goggles to spar, and CK is not happy with me that I decline. I said that she is the boss and if she insists, I will do it- but not willingly. I know it's stupid and dangerous, and if I get my eye poked out I will have vast regret and only myself to blame. But dammit, those goggles drive me bugshit. Not only are they uncomfotable and distracting, they slip and fog up- especially with the close-up stuff I do- and when I put them on today, the undersides totally obscured my view of MM's legs. This is unacceptable, as MM kicks hard, often, and accurately. After about two minutes, I pulled the fooking things off and threw them across the room.

CK plied me with another one of those sinful coconut tart things from the Chinese bakery.... so evil.

She was exasperated and amused to hear that D (like CC) is avoiding sparring with me, and had actually told me to my face that I have poor control. Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ (LOL- I stole that one from Otto; been looking for chances to use it!). It's not that I am proclaiming MYSELF some supernatural pillar of striking precision and accuracy, mind you- it's been a constant litany of experienced and skilled MA'ists who've sparred with me a LOT (a lot more than CC or D) who are constantly praising my excellent control. CK says it's CC's and D's issue- and I agree. It still sucks for me, though, since I have very little opportunity to spar now due to lack of partners. And it's just insulting. In fact, it's insulting enough that if they bring it up again, I am probably going to get a little huffy with them. There are few enough things that I do WELL in MA... and even fewer that I am able/willing to CLAIM: "I do this well." But drat it, I have excellent strike control for sparring, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. So there.

I had planned to go to evening BJJ, but after all that sparring, I was just too darn exhausted. They wore me out. I had a bit of a struggle trying to stay awake on the drive home, so I think I was right to take a pass. I slept poorly last night, too.

I think that's the last I'm going to be able to see of CK before she leaves town, but MM and I are planning to meet up 2 mornings next week. These were good workouts. I'm so glad I didn't wimp out and fail to meet up with them. After we were done for the day, I drove them to Shaolin. Told them that I was no longer in the class... they didn't ask me any questions, for which I'm very grateful (although CK I'm sure is very curious... making me all the more grateful she was so nice about me not wanting to talk about it). I was afraid being with them would trigger another deep depression about losing the Kung Fu class and all, but I've been doing reasonably okay the last few days. I'm sad that they are all at class right now as I type this, though.

Wednesday

2011-12-28T21:47:00.001-08:00

"A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for."-- Grace Murray Hopper

Saturday: 130.0. FOD: Snake Versus Five Animals.

Sun: 133.5 (WTF?!? Okay, I had a couple of extra cookies and things, but not enough to account for that. I'm calling it a hormonal thing.) FOD: Five Animals.

Mon: 135.0. (Yeesh! I really have not been snacking that much!) FOD: Leopard 3.

Wednesday: 132 (Okay, that's more like it).

I met with CK this morning, and we spent several hours doing grueling stance work- the kind where you're just standing there, or doing something seemingly easy like taking a step- and it's a more intense workout than a BJJ roll. Knees, pelvis, lower back, the crease where the trunk meets the top of the thigh. Note: engage the backs and sides of the thighs more, and try to open up that crease area more... about two minutes of that (just STANDING STILL, mind you) made me feel like I'd been digging ditches for eight hours straight... but it seems to take some of the strain off my bad knees.

A little tai chi. Then a sinful lunch. Then back to the gym for sparring. Her back is all messed up, and I didn't have my contacts in, so we were going fairly easy. I got her with the same trick that I got her with this summer- heavy bridging on both of her arms, doing a bunch of stuff with one hand to keep her attention, then suddenly popping the OTHER hand up into her chin. There is a lot of this in Hurricane Hands. I got her with it several times, to my surprise- I'm sure it will stop working soon! I was also getting her a few times with a trick I've been using on her for years: I kick or feint, she blocks, then as she lowers the knee, I nail her with a follow-up kick. It works best if I do both kicks without setting the foot down. Another thing that worked for me a few times was dropping into a low scissor stance with and underhand looping claw to the groin or lower belly. I should mention that besides her back being all messed up, she is very heavily medicated- which I'm sure has a lot to do with the fact that I was able to land anything at all on her.

We did not discuss my life disasters, to my relief. I told her that I had had a really ugly few months and did not want to talk about my life- and she was good about it. She twice brought up SK, and I gave short noncommittal answers and moved on quickly. She was playing with her phone at one point, and put on the ring he always used ("caffeinated rattlesnake")- that hurt. But I did okay overall, emotionally.

MM e-mailed me to ask if we could get together to spar a couple times while he was in town, which is great. I'm considering it a compliment that he asked. He'll kill me, of course.... I would sure love to get him on the ground and tap him out with a BJJ technique JUST ONCE. I couldn't manage it last time he was here, although we rolled around for a long time, and I came close with a number of things. He is REALLY strong, has significant weight on me, and besides his Kung Fu and Karate, he has some Aikido and other things in his tool kit. He is a formidable opponent indeed. He and CK and I will probably work together tomorrow afternoon. It's great to round-robin spar with the two of them... we can go for hours.

Acrobalance at the circus school. There were only five of us tonight, three intermediates and two advanced, so we did some challenging stuff and it was very much fun. Willis was basing for all of us, and having a challenging time, because we were all very differently shaped. It went from 5-foot me to a 6-foot student; and two were very skinny while one was a pear shape and one an hourglass. All of these sizes, shapes and weight distributions called for different balancing methods and post placement for him. I am doing well. Now that I have the hang of getting into the rear plank, I am much less clumsy- and my balance is always excellent. Gawds, but this stuff is an intense core/abs workout.

Friday

2011-12-23T18:17:00.001-08:00

I was working at a club in Newark, and somebody bent over, and his gun fell out on the floor. Everybody began checking their coats to make sure it wasn't their gun. -Wanda Sykes

Sunday FOD: Catherine Dao.

I had wanted to work on Green Dragon as well, but turns out I only had enough focus to work on one thing today. Today has been pretty bad. It has been a persistant pattern that when I feel a bit stronger (like yesterday), it is almost always directly followed by a nosedive back down into the bowels of Hell (like today).

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Monday FOD: Black Crane One. Did it both regular and mirror side; fumbled a bit on the final reap for ther mirror side, but otherwise fine.

I dared to weigh myself today. 132.5. Besides the business-trip-slash-food-orgy and my lack of training, I've been finding that with my new work schedule, the urge to snack at work and in the morning after I come home is very difficult to resist. Today I bought 100-cal mini popcorn bags... those keep my hands and mouth busy for a while... and juice boxes, which I like to eat frozen with a spoon (likewise occuppying me when I might otherwise be trolling for something more calorie-laden).
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132.0

Tuesday FOD: Dance Of Life
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Friday lunchtime BJJ at GB Seattle.

130.5. I have the munchies, but I'm sticking mostly to the frozen juice boxes and popcorn, and keeping meal portions small and frequent. The small, frequent meal portions really seem to be the key to weight control for my particular body.

While waiting for class to start, I jumped Vince- but he just rolled over, groaned, and lay there while I keylocked him on both sides. So I went over and jumped Bryan, which of course did not go so well for me. After he smashed me all over the mat, he told me that I'm getting better. He always adds, "I Know it doesn't SEEM like it. But you're getting good enough that we all have to step up our game on you." If you say so.

I got to drill with a nice visiting white belt woman; hope I get to work with her again before she leaves.

Standup setting up to pull guard- but you don't pull guard- once you get your back on the ground, grab both sleeve cuffs and keep both feet on opponent's hips. Then grab hir rt ankle with your left hand and pull yourself under hir till you can wrap your left leg around the OUTSIDE of hir rt leg, foot on hip. Shove with your rt foot (still on hir other hip) to overbalance opponent. Then squeeze knees together and hip up to bow hir other leg out and knock hir over backwards. Note to KEEP HOLD of both sleeve and hip, not only does it make it harder for the opponent to get up or to escape, it makes it easier for YOU to get up and get on top. Also note that I really, really, really need to break my terrible habit of gabbing people's pants cuffs with my fingers inside.

Failed butterfly sweep; opponent throws weight the other way. You go with that to the other side, AGAIN remember to keep ahold of both that sleeve and that pants grip so that you can pull opponent under you as you take the back.

Lots of drilling reps; but I'm glad we didn't do a third technique, as these were both kind of complicated. My partner and I tried our stupid sides a few times just to say we did, but we were both so clumsy that we switched right back again after a couple of reps.

A few rounds of pass guard vs sweep. The white belt girl was good; she gave as good as she got.

A roll with Vince, then a reeeeeeeeeeeeally long roll with Dominick. I did reasonably okay surviving with both of them, although as usual my sub attempts were insufficient. I seem to be doing well while I keep moving- I stay on top, get side control, get front mount, get KOB a lot. KOB is good for me- I can't really pin them there, but I don't have to- it seems that with my flexibility and teeny-ness, people don't usually realize I've slid into KOB until after I've been perched there for three seconds. As soon as I start getting tired, though, I end up on the bottom again- and once there, as usual, I tend to stay down there and not do much of use. Even so, I was reasonably happy with my performance against Dominick, who most often spanks me when I spar him- he's good, he's also strong and flexible and about 17 or 18. I was pleased to be able to keep going as long as I did with him, at my age and after such a long hiatus. I tried a lot of gi-tail wrapping (and a little belt wrapping too). I didn't have stellar success, but I think that once I really get the hang of how to efficiently wrap people up in their gi's, that will be a really good part of my game. It's a skill that my small, quick hands and flexibility will translate well too. Dominick finally got me with a gooseneck wristlock braced against his chest while I was trapped underneath.

We ended up going till 2:15. Open mat is supposed to be over at 1:30. Everybody else was long gone, but I think Rodrigo hung around longer just to let us play.

The downside is that I was way too tired and sore to go to Sleeper tonight. I hate it when that happens.

Right shoulder is still aching some, and neck is sore after being choked a lot today. You know you're had a good BJJ session when by the time you drive home, you are so sore and stiff that it takes about ten minutes (and some serious whimpering) to get your spots bra off.

Angst

2011-12-18T08:04:00.000-08:00

"To die will be a great adventure." J.M. Barrie

I have a recurring nightmare in which I am trying to drive a speeding car along a crowded, twisty highway. I am in the backseat. I am leaning over the back of the frontseat, barely able to touch the steering wheel, with no access to the pedals at all. It seems an apt metaphor for how helpless I feel in the grip of my negative moods.

Emotions are not wrong/bad. They are what they are. Emotions come. The heart wants what it wants. We feel what we feel. We have no control over the emotions we feel. Flagellating oneself for the emotions one feels is futile. Denying the emotions one feels is futile.

Sometimes emotions that we are feeling are not only painful, they appear to take on an actively destructive role to the point that they become the enemy.

The mind, heart, and body are not only capable of eating themselves, they are capable of attacking one another…. in a seemingly endless cycle of pain.

Where is safety if one can't be safe inside one's own mind and heart and body; inside one's own self? Where are the resources to survive when the self is striving to destroy itself?

If one's strength is rooted in the sense of self, where to find strength when the self is divided and one side is fighting the other?

A warrior whose survival depends upon trusting instincts, has trusted instincts that led to disaster. How does one ever trust instinct again? If the lesson isn't "Don't trust instincts"- and it can't be- then what is it?

A warrior faces down a fear with great courage- and got mowed so completely that hir entire being embodies the concept of defeat. Again, what is the lesson? From whence comes resolve to face any fear again?

Form Of the Day: Sil Lum Tao. I have not been able to bring myself to do the FOD for weeks. Today I did this one and the Southern Mantis fragment. It felt really good. It felt really terrible. All Shaolin is still drenched in the essence of my betrayer. I still cannot transfer ownership. I want this to be mine and not his.

What can I do with my BJJ to make sure that as it evolves, it is MINE, and will remain mine even if I should lose my teachers sometime in the future?

What needs to change in the student/teacher relationship so that one can be respectful, loyal, even personally fond of one's teacher- yet the essense of the art is not so much as one with that person that if you lose hir, you lose the art as well? That if s/he betrays you, your art betrays you as well? That if s/he causes you pain, your art causes you pain as well? That if you lose respect for your teacher, you lose respect for your art as well? That you are defined only as a function of that teacher, or can be defined only in respect to that teacher?

This would be a lot simpler and easier if MA was simply sport to me. The spiritual aspect is its best strength and its worst weakness.

Wednesday

2011-12-14T20:52:00.001-08:00

A wounded deer leaps the highest. -Emily Dickinson

Lunchtime BJJ at GB Seattle.

Pulling guard from standing, situp sweep, failed situp sweep transitioned to kimura.

I drilled with a new white belt woman that I've never seen before....

King of the hill, pass vs sweep. Everybody swept me, but I made them all work hard for it- except Prof Carlos of course, who swept me in about half a second.

One roll with Vince, then I was exhausted and took my jacket off. But Prof Carlos was motioning me over.

8 minutes... a long time of which was spent trapped in scarf. For a good while he was choking me, and I was able to jam my hand in there well enough to not have to tap, but I couldn't get away. He just kept slowly tightening. I'm never sure if he's wanting me to tap or wanting me to hold out when he does that. I held out.

Evening BJJ at Sleeper. Cindy was not there, so Eric was teaching. It was just us, a big wrestler guy, and a female boxer... so Eric got a real workout, round-robin style. It was supposed to be gi night, so I made him put on a gi top (although he didn't have any gi pants). I collar-choked him a lot. Poor Eric, he's not a big fan of gi!

CK is going to be in town from the 26th to the 4th. I waffled about seeing her at all, because it is almost certainly going to sink me into A Mood. In fact it's sinking me into A Mood already, just knowing she's coming. Haven't decided if I'm just going to keep my mouth shut, or if I'm going to tell her that I'm no longer SK's student. Either way, I am *NOT* going to discuss details. I'm just not very happy about the idea of her getting erroneous details from other people.

double-legs and aerial silk

2011-12-10T19:37:00.000-08:00

With developments in technical competence and the application of the technique in training, grading, or competition, the self confidence of the student improves. He sees his improvements as successful efforts on his part. Success breeds success, and success breeds self-confidence. The two go very much hand-in-hand. A successful and confident student looks forward to training and enjoys the learning environment. A happy student learns faster than an unhappy one because he enjoys what he is doing, and because the skills are consciously and subconsciously associated with pleasure, they are retained for longer. In that the reverse is also true- that failure breeds lack of confidence and dissatisfaction with training- the learning environment has to allow for the student to succeed in what he is doing, no matter what his level of ability or competence. Tony Gummerson, "Teaching Martial Arts"

Lunchtime BJJ at GB Seattle. There was "beginner" and "competition class"- back to back, that's a challenge any day, so I decided to ease back in and just do the beginning class. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOO crowded in there today. It was really hard to get enough space to do the techniques. Prof Carlos took a step backward and would have stepped right on my partner's face if I hadn't stuck out an arm and blocked his shin just in time! Two guys were flailing all over the place, and I was THIS close to getting up and going over there to tell them to take it down a few notches- that is just not safe when you've only got three square feet of mat space and other people's heads all around you. One of them was a blue belt, too- he should have known better.

Opponent in side control: you bridge and frame, take the arm nearest hir head and cross it over your body to stick under hir armpit. Twist to belly, get to knees. Double-leg from there. Note that if you hop to your feet first, you get takedown points. Otherwise no points for this.

I drilled with Kelly, who was wearing a fresh blue belt! Awesome. Z also has his blue (about time- I was tired of getting wiped all over the mat by that little white belt!)

I would have really liked to get a chance to roll with some of these people that I haven't seen in a long time, but I think if I'd tried to do the competition class after that, I would have upchucked halfway through.

Fronts of thighs are killing me from the kneeling double-leg takedowns (we did about a bazillion reps).

Aerial silk at the circus school. This was really fun. I think I was the biggest *and* the least flexible person in the room. That was so weird!!! That has never happened to me before, not even in ballet! The class was full of these tiny skinny pixie-like Asian girls, who could tie their bodies into pretzels and looked like they would blow away if I sneezed on them. It's good, though- it'll push me to work harder. I can see that I do not have the body to be a star pupil at this particular skill, however!

There were only three silks and eight students, which I wasn't very happy about at first- but it turned out to be fine, because we silk virgins (five of us) could only work for a few minutes at a time before we needed to rest our hands and shoulders. I have a lot of upper body strength and a lot of muscle in my arms and shoulders, but it was still challenging. A great workout, and fun! It will get more fun the more technique we get, too.

Rt shoulder is still painful- the one that was painful at Acrobalance a few weeks ago, for no discernable reason. The time span and the lack of any apparent actual injury is worrying me. I was also noticing- during the intensive yoga-contortionist warmup- that I have a painful knot below my rt shoulderblade. I think I may have a permanent knot of some type there from my rib-out early this year- a hunk of scar tissue or something. Lovely. I hope it's not related to the shoulder pain.

I was worried that my broken finger would hamper me in the silk workout, but it didn't as far as I could tell- so that was a relief.

BJJ

2011-12-09T21:56:00.000-08:00

During the rapid improvement period in skill learning, students are motivated by their rate of improvement. Their desire to learn is created by the success that they achieve. Concentration and commitment are facilitated by the rapid rate of technical development. However, once the rate of learning begins to slow down, it requires much more effort on the part of both the student and coach to maintain the attention and work rate. Eventually the leveling off of improvement begins to have a negative effect on the learning environment, which can bring about a reduction in performance. Tony Gummerson, "Teaching Martial Arts"

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I actually did some jiu jitsu today! Twice!!

Lunchtime at GB Seattle: Sweep drill, pass guard drill, triangle drill. I got to drill with Bryan, lucky me! One roll with him and one with Marc (lucky me again!) I was afraid my performance would be abominable after two months off the mat, but I did fairly well. I'm glad it wasn't Competition Class today, though- that would probably have killed me.

Prof. Carlos commented that he hadn't seen me in "Seex Months". I said, "It hasn't been that long! Two months." Bree said, "Brazilian time." Ah.

Marc tried to choke me with the tail of my gi jacket, and I noticed that his own jacket was all rucked up around his shoulders.... so I grabbed the tail of HIS gi jacket..... and there we were both lying there with gritted teeth and gi tails wrapped around each other's necks, both trying to choke each other, till we started giggling.

He also caught me in an inverted triangle by doubling up on himself while I was on top. I knew he was flexible, but I hadn't thought he was flexible enough to do THAT. After I tapped and complimented him on it, he said, "Yeah, I've been catching a lot of people with that!" I'm sure.

Evening at Sleeper: Cindy has apparently been Living in interesting times the past few months- two car accidents, home break-in and burglary, a breakup, her dog tore an ACL, there were a few more things in there that I forget... we both agreed that the last six months or so could do with a rewind. Anyway, her back is still messed up from the second car accident, so after armbar drills (from mount and then from guard), she had her wrestling coach Sid teach us a few moves.

Opponent turtled- knee on head, grab under the back of the thigh and flip hir into a front roll (the knee on head prevents hir from going anywhere else).

Opponent turtled- get one hook, then hook your other toe under hir ankle. Arch back, and opponent face-plants. Then you can choke. (When you are about to face-plant, you tend to stick your head up and expose your neck.) If you hook your ankles together, you can get a bow-and-arrow, and if you're REALLY sadistic, a bad neck crank.

From the back: reach under opponent's armpit and grab wrist. Rolling-pin your body up hirs while pulling the wrist under. Then you can sit out (facing hir feet) and put all your weight on your elbow (which is planted on hir arm), while retaining that wrist. Now the subs are legion. You can also pretend you're trying to stuff hir hand in her own opposite back pocket, whoch forces hir to roll over. Now- armbar or keylock.

Double-leg takedown.

I drilled with Jalen, who appears to be maybe 11. He's an average-size eleven-year-old, which means we are just about the same size. He's good. I had one roll with him after drilling. I managed to get and hold front mount for a while. I'm learning to suss out who I can get away with front mounting and who I can't. Front mounting anyone bigger than me who is not brand-new is usually a one-way-ticket to sweepsville. Jalen did sweep me off front mount once or twice, but I held it for a while. I also got the takedown, which surprised and pleased me- although I took advantage of a failed takedown attempt of his to do it.

I had one roll with some other guy that I've never seen before. Again managed to get and hold front mount for a long time, but he was doing really well at defending the keylocks-etc and I couldn't get the tap. Finally choked him from behind. By then, I was done for the day.

Went on a business trip last week... man, life on the corporate credit card is plush. I skipped dinner all three nights and still ate about 5x the amount of food I normally eat. The company HQ has a candy machine and a pop machine that won't take your money, and a grill chef who will make you whatever you want for lunch. If I worked there all the time, I'd weigh six hundred pounds. In addition, they are a *BIG* account for the local Hilton, so said Hilton treated us like royalty... including a decadent breakfast buffet (with bacon, even). It's a good thing I don't do business trips often.

I'm back up to 130, which wouldn't be too bad, except that it is plain from looking in the mirror that I haven't just put on 6lb of fat- which would be easy enough to take back off in a few weeks- I've also lost a visible amount of muscle and the shape of my entire body has changed. Dismaying how quickly it happened. Hey, that free snack machine had these AWESOME honey-mustard and onion pretzel things. Packets of mini Toll House cookies, too.

Southern Mantis

2011-11-17T13:37:00.000-08:00

The 70-80% level of technical excellence can be achieved relatively quickly; however, to attain the remaining 30% or 20% requires a disproportionate amount of time and effort. Tony Gummerson, "Teaching Martial Arts"

126.0

I'm relieved to not be gaining a lot of weight. Besides the "almost no exercise"thing, I have (as Georgette says) been "craving comfort food"- partly because I'm depressed and partly because it's really really cold.

JoE wanted to work on the first section of the tai chi long form again, so we did that for a while. Then Southern Mantis.

Notes:

After the first turn, the stance is a cat stance, but shifts into a front stance with the strike.

The first backfist- look at the target over the right shoulder, but do not turn the shoulders/torso. Torso remains facing south.

Just after the cat stance with curving-up topfist: as you skip forward with that circular punch, the left hand is doing a southern Mantis-handed clearing motion in front of your body. (This is *HARD*- it doesn't really seem to make kinetic sense- yet)

The low splitting motion just before the head grab- these are also southern Mantis hands.

Head grab and knee up: the reason I was having trouble getting my rt knee past my inturned left knee to do this knee strike is that when JoE does it, he pivots on the posting foot as the knee goes up, so that the toe is no longer turned in. While I had barely been able to squeak out the technique with my toe still turned in, I needed to stop and clarify that- because the next move has you turning to the left. If my toe had remained where it was, the next move would have rotated my left leg 360 degrees at the hip and busted the thing right off.

New part: after you smash the bad guy's head on your knee, turn to south in horse and chamber left hand at waist. Right hand describes a small counterclockwise circle and ends pressing toward the floor palm-down at groin.

Without stopping, bounce out of that strike into another small counterclockwise circle and Mantis-fist strike rt hand across your waist to the east. Torso does not turn- remain facing south.

Without stopping, bounce out of that strike and turn east in cat (left toe in front), rt forearm across chest and palm warding toward north just under left armpit. This had should be all the way past the body. As it snaps into place, left hand comes over it and strikes to east at neck level with poking southern Mantis-finger. This strike begins at centerline breastbone and the arm follows a looping corkscrew path, curving a bit to your rt and ending with the palm facing north. Very southern-Mantisy, it looks awesome when JoE does it- I am clumsy with it. I can see how it's SUPPOSED to be, though.

JoE is not happy with my flow in this form (a perpetual problem for me, especially in Mantis material). He doesn't like the pauses. He made me try to do it really fast, to get rid of the pauses.

We then did some Box form, at JoE's request. I was able to confidently answer all of his questions. I feel pretty good about most of my Dragon material. *He* looks clumsy in *this*. I couldn't criticize his motions (well, I could, and did, a few- but then he fixed them), but the flow needs a lot of work. He was pausing too much (ha ha... I'm totally serious!) It's good that we have different strengths, so that we can help each other learn.

We ended with a little sparring, slow-mo because I didn't feel like putting my contacts in. The slow-mo- with him- really points up 1)where I leave holes, and 2)how I let him tie up my arms (often getting one or both actually crossed over my centerline). I didn't let him take my back and knock me down to RNC me this time, although he did take me down once, and then perched on top of me and punched me in the head. I was able to mime ripping his testicles off, but eventually had to cry uncle and admit that although he may be neutered, I was dead. I wish my sweep skills were good enough that I woudn't get pinned with him on top like that all the time.

As usual, I had a hard time dragging ass out to do this this morning. My body was happy afterward, though.

"If you were naked, I'd have no problem"

2011-11-16T21:23:00.000-08:00

It is important that when a new activity is being introduced, the practices that immediately precede it are will known to the student and the general movement pattern is similar to the new skill. The advantage of this strategy is that the student is confident in his own ability and has a starting point to work from. Having an existing frame of reference makes any demonstration or presentation of a new technique all the more effective for the student, because he can quickly relate it to his own existing range of skills. With similar movement patterns, the rate of learning is much faster than with different ones, because part of the skill is already known. Tony Gummerson, "Teaching Martial Arts"

Yeah, there's another blog post title that'll get a few extra hits.......

Friday FOD: Iron Needle
Sat FOD: 3 Step Arrow fragment
Sun: Silken Needle
Mon: Chen Jian

Tues: Jian, again. Yesterday was the last stone in the jar, so today was the restart- and I picked Jian again. This is obviously straight-sword-and-Needle week.

Wednesday: Did not exist
Thursday: Sil Lum Tao
Friday through the following Wednesday: Did not exist. This has been a bad week.

Series of nightmares on Monday, including one in which something new and particularly disturbing happened- for the first time in about a decade, I reached for my knife in a nightmare and the thing wasn't there.

True, I have not yet replaced my broken serrated knife. I'm still carrying the straight edge, but have gotten a little lazy in that I've been putting it not in my waistband or cargo-pants leg pocket as has been previous habit, but in my shirt pocket (where- if I needed it- there would be a delay as I would have to first think about what pocket it was in, and then dig past all the other crap in my pocket to get to it.) Now that I am sleeping in the tent, I have also gotten lazy in that instead of having the knife right where I can reach it while I sleep, I've been leaving it on the counter or hearth.

This nightmare illustrates a disturbing disconnect between me and my warrior self.

It's also bothering me a lot that when I fly to Delaware on a business trip at the end of the month, I will have to leave my knife at home altogether (unless I want to pay $50 to check a bag) and be totally unarmed for three days in a strange city. I do not like that feeling. No pepper spray either. &%#$^&% TSA Security Theater.

Congrats to Gracie Barra Seattle, which kicked butt at last weekend's Revolution.

------------
Tuesday: Another nightmare, during which I thought about reaching for the knife and didn't even try this time. I had some kind of small blunt untensil in my hand, and decided (?) to make do with that, even though the guy I was about to engage was about half my age, three times my size, had already beaten the crap out of at least one person further up the hallway, and was ranting like he was seriously high. (Hey, at least I was still willing to pile in; that's good, right? That guy was scary!)

Wednesday: Acrobalance. I discerned during the warmup that my right shoulder was sore and weak (Why- when the most martial thing I've done with it lately is open a stuck ketchup bottle for my housemate??). I also noticed that I seem even more wobbly than usual on poses that involve standing on the left foot.

Allover, I was doing a little more poorly this week in acrobalance, altho I think part of that had to do with the guy who was my partner for most of it. He was new and clueless as well, yet somehow decided that he was competant to teach me (yeah, those types of people aren't just in BJJ class!) At one point, he slid his foot down to brace against the inside of my knee while I was in the Chinese splits, and then instructed me to swing my leg to the inside- umm, sorry dude, that is not physically possible unless I saw it off first, or you move your damn foot!

I gave an instruction tonight too, though- I couldn't help it. I try really hard to remember to keep my mouth shut unless it's a class I am actually officially supposed to be TEACHING- and moreso when it's only *my* second class in the school. But the (male) assistant teacher tried three or four different ways to tell a teen girl how to fix her posture so that she wouldn't get pulled too far forward by her partner, and finally I couldn't stand it any more and I told her "stick your chest out". She did, and immediately was able to balance after having fallen off about ten times. So I forgive myself.

Ironically, I seem to be more balanced on upside-down techniques than on rightside-up ones.

I would have liked to practice being the "base" a little more, but once again I was by far the lightest person in the room. Not that that means I can't lift someone a lot heavier than myself, with the proper form- when I did contact improv, I once had a six-foot-two male ballet dancer jumping up and sitting on my shoulder, and he must have weighed twice what I do. But I figured that since I don't know what I'm doing in this class well enough to always *HAVE* proper form, I'd better be conservative.

Being the lightest also made me the default for "Hey, Kitsune, come over here and let this brand-new guy lie down and try to balance you upside down on his feet" even though it was only my second class. Luckily, as a martial artist, I know how to fall down. And here they have something I don't have in MA class- SPOTTERS, whose job is to save you when you're about to do a face plant or go cartwheeling over the railing into the arena below.

Note that there were several clothing malfunctions tonight, mostly involving trying to stand on people's thighs, and having one's foot slip on their pants or tights. I think what I wore tonight is the wise choice- bike shorts with yoga pants over them. That way if people are having trouble getting purchase on my pants, I can just take them off. When I was standing on my partner's thigh (the pose in the photo, incidentally) and he suggested an alternate direction of balancing, I said, "It's not the orientation that's making me slide, it's your pants. If you were naked, I've have no problem." (You know, I really ought to take more time to get to know a class and its students before tossing out commentary like that.... but the teacher was repeatedly making reference to the position of her "ass" and our asses as well, so I figured if she could get away with saying "ass", I could get away with suggesting that a guy take his pants off....)

Thursday

2011-11-03T20:39:00.000-07:00

If even for the blink of an eye you can control two of the other guy’s limbs with one of yours, either with angle or timing or some sort of clinch, then the opponent is in grave danger. - Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”

(Kitsune to CC and D)
Are we on for Thursday at 6?

(CC)
Looks like D will be here…I will be visiting a friend at a hospital but will try and be back in time for the tail end

(K to D)
Confirm/deny?

(D)
you really don't like to waste time with socially pleasant extraneous words do you!?!

confirm

(K)
Tigers like to just get to the Point. If not all Five of them.

127.0
Some evil person has been stocking the cookie jar in the communal kitchen with Halloween candy for the past couple of weeks.

Thursday FOD: Touch Bridge

JoE wanted to work on the Tai Chi long form, so we did that for a while. Then more Kiu Two, which again took the bulk of the time. He had a cool armbar app for the salute, of all things. JoE loves those armbars.

He wanted to work a Wing Chun drill of CC's, and we bumbled around trying to remember exactly how it went. Next time I see CC (if I ever do- geez that man is flaky about meeting... he's bailed again for tonight), I'll need to review that.

A little sparring- again not too great on my end, although once again I avoided most of his copious takedown attempts.

Last time I sparred him, though, I had let him GET MY BACK AND TAKE ME DOWN- **TWICE**... he did the same darn thing today (only once, though). I need to not let him do that again- I'm still not quite sure how it happened, so if he *does* get that on me again, I need to call a time-out and reconstruct exactly what he is doing and what I ought to be doing in order to stop him.

I did get front mount on him and hold it for quite some time, although he was doing a pretty good job defending his neck. He normally does not have any trouble tossing me off front mount (few people do), but today I prevented this by constantly shifting my weight around- sometimes sliding almost off into a side control, then back on again (while constantly attacking the throat). He was only able to get me off him in the end with a hair grab (OOOOOH how I hate those!!)

I asked D to work on the Green Dragon form- Plum Blossom Fist (who makes up these names???!? I wonder how many of these bizarre form names can be traced back to poor translation skills).

First arm-circle: make sure the back of the rt hand SLAPS, and pull left hand all the way to centerline.

Elbow strikes- fold arms more, so that elbows are overlapping

Second arm-circle: end with a snap.

Both arm-circle parts: note that these are cat stances and not Seven Stars. For some reason I keep wanting to do Seven Stars.

New part, after the 2nd arm-circle.....

Little hop to the right (south), Black Crane guard to north (Rt palm at left jaw, left palm outward at left thigh).

Left side kick north to knee level. Rechamber. Do not set foot down.

Bring both straight arms down, circle to your rt, then over head, As you give a little 180 degree hop to face west. Hands continue circle in a karate-chop motion to north (rt one on top and in front), continuing to your knees as you bend a little, facing west. Now arms circle around to your left, overhead, face north again and end in karate guard position facing north. Left hand is on top and in front, you are in a north-facing cat with rt toe in front. This entire arm-circling sequence is continuous and flowing.

Scissor step rt foot to west in front of left. High blocks to west, elbows leading. Left, then right.

End by pulling rt Mantis hook back to rt shoulder, step west with left foot and turn north in a high horse. left palm-up knfe hand strikes to north neck height. The power comes from the torque in the turn and Mantis-hook pull.

Now into the previously learned hop-and-turn-and-kneel section.

Those elbow circle-block things are going to need a lot more work- I am still a bit confused. I want to be doing low palm-heels as I pull out of each one, but apparently you don't.

We practiced the Kneeling-with-Leopard-fist guard section as well, and D keeps harping on me that my flow is not continuous enough (thus the energy is not recycling, and I'm chopping the power off of all the strikes). Also (as always) my shoulders (all of me, in fact, but especially my shoulders) are too tense. Part of this is a mental block- when I loosen up these big arm-circle things, it makes me feel that if I was actually hitting anyone, it would be like those chicken-flap hits that women who've had no self defense traning always do. I wish I could see CN do these- it would probably help a lot. Anyway, after he'd had me rep it about a bazillion times and I'd loosened up to where it felt distressingly flappy-armed, I watched him do it and said, "It looks almost like Monkey." He didn't seem to like that observation much, but it did. The two slappy strikes at the end of the two arm-circles at the beginning of the form also look Monkey-like. So I did the section as I would interpret Monkey doing it. D said it looked much better. Well okay then. Dragon + Monkey. There's one ugly deformed nuclear-fallout baby for ya. But I'll experiment with it.

That section- as well as the part with the Mantis hook- is confusing my brain because it's transitioning large vertical circling to large horizontal circling and back again. That seems Dragony, but my body and brain aren't assimilating it very well at the moment, so I don't think I've done anything like that in any of my other forms (Dragon or otherwise).

We did some sticky hands, played with the Wing Chun drill (we couldn't figure out out either... will have to ask CC).

D's going to be out of town for most of this month. He seems to want to bolt the rest of Hurricane Hands as soon as he gets back. I hope he's not planning to blow town for good before he teaches me the rest of Plum Blossom Fist. Unfortunately, I can't really hold the remainder of HH hostage, because D learns new form material about 10x faster than I do.

Acrobalance

2011-11-02T21:57:00.000-07:00

Sunday FOD: Iron Needle
Monday FOD: Southern Mantis fragment
Tuesday: did not exist.
Wednesday FOD: Sil Lum Tao

Today I went to Acrobalance class. It is indeed a lot like "Extreme Contact Improv For Martial Artists". It was fun. I did one lift with the teacher's assistant, and he immediately asked me if I was a gymnast. Well, yes, back when all the continents were still one land mass. Then he had somebody else lift me, while he hollered across the room to the teacher, "Jenny! Look! It's her first night!" Ha ha.

Saturday

2011-10-29T15:40:00.001-07:00

In all athletic disciplines, it is the internal work that makes the physical mat time click, but it is easy to lose touch with this reality in the middle of the grind. - Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”

Friday did not exist.
Saturday FOD: The Dance Of Life.

I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't meet my goal of getting to 2 BJJ classes this weekend. I just could not seem to rouse myself to do anything at all Thursday evening through Saturday afternoon.

I had to chuckle at the new posting on the Hyperbole and a Half site, about depression. I would like to have my depression form an impervious exoskeleton like Allie's. Unfortunately, my depression is not a steady state of uncaring nor an upward slope of recovery- my depression looks like an EKG readout. Whenever I have a few hours that feel almost bearable, and I think, "Hallelujia, the worst is over," or "Hey, I'm going to survive this," or some such, next thing I know I am plunging to new depths of the abyss. I have learned better than to ever flirt with the notion that it can't get worse- because there's *always* worse.... even when you feel certain that it can't possibly feel any worse.

I did drag myself over to CC's for class on saturday afternoon- although D ducked out, and CC ducked out himself after about half an hour. He set me to work doing Sil Lum Tao on the wooden dummy, so I did that, then some reps of the Green Dragon bits, then Hurricane Hands and HH In the Mirror, Five Animals and FA In the Mirror, Dance Of Life.

It looks like I might not be able to get into the aerial silk class for a while due to scheduling issues. I'm now trying for the acrobalance class.

Thursday

2011-10-27T22:47:00.000-07:00

Players tend to get attached to fancy techniques and fail to recognize that subtle internalization and refinement is much more important than the quantity of what is learned…. Depth beats breadth any day of the week, because it opens a channel for the intangible, unconscious, creative components of our hidden potential. - Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”

Sunday FOD: Lun Qi
Monday FOD: Cannon Fist
Tuesday FOD: 5 Points
Wednesday: nonexistant
Thursday FOD: Kiu Two

JoE and I got together to train on Thursday morning, and ended up spending almost all of it on Kiu Two. Mostly him doing Snake One, me doing Snake Two.

Note that during the "flurry-of-Snake-strikes bit: After the right high Snake Strike and the left low Snake strike, that right Snake needs to retract almost all the way and get down to your left elbow so that it is low enough- and far enough to the side- to intercept the next strike.

Do not hurry through it so much that you cheat or skip the bong sau.

Also- make sure to have range on the kick to the rear leg. I usually have to hop in a bit.

Next time we meet, we need to work on me doing the Snake One side and him doing Snake Two- also the Southern Mantis, which we did not get to at all today. Another (eventual) thing I would like to work on with him is Snake Versus Five Animals- since these two-person forms are really much better to work on when you actually have two people.

We did about 10 min of sparring at the end, and he smoked me. I am leaving way too many openings. Another thing I tend to do with him is to forget how well-rooted he is- he is always hooking legs and trying to throw me or take me down, and I can usually defend the first attempt, but sometimes leave myself overbalanced and vulnerable to his follow-up.

One more thing- remember the street name (Belmont)- I got a little lost again trying to find his apartment.

Sunday

2011-10-23T08:01:00.000-07:00

The next phase of my martial growth would involve turning the large into the small. My understanding of this process is to touch the essence (for example, highly refined and deeply internalized body mechanics or FEELING) of a technique, and then to incrementally condense the external manifestation of the technique while keeping true to its essence. Over time, expansiveness decreases while potency increases. I call this method “Making smaller circles”. - Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”

The FOD some two weeks ago- the last time I drew one- was Spear Hand, and today I hauled myself up out of the Pit Of Despair enough to force myself to do it. Also the Green Dragon fragments (must add that to the FOD jar) and a little Hurricane hands (including that tricky throw that I'm going to have to teach next time). The first time I sketched through Spear Hand, it felt like one of those moments when your Self disappears and some MA deity steps in and says, "Let Me ride you for a minute and show you how it's done." Always breathtaking, especially when it's Mantis. The throw was also fine, for all my worrying.

If I'm not going to be disciplined about making blocks of time to practice kung fu, I need to add the drills and a few other random things- which are not precisely forms- to my FOD jar. Otherwise they will never get practiced.

I should also unload all the weapons, kicking pads, and other peraphernalia from my Jeep.

Mentally and emotionally I'm still feeling fairly overrwrought approaching anything kung fu-like, but physically it felt really good.

I do not want to abandon kung fu. It's really hard because literally *EVERY* single technique, drill, form, and other random bit that I know was imbued into me by SK, and it all reeks of him. Every scrap of it is full of memories of him and associations with him. I think I need to somehow find a way to transfer ownership of the material so that it doesn't continue to feel like me working on HIS stuff. It needs to become MY stuff.

I'm trying to gear myself up to attempt to go back to jiu-jitsu (which would probably be a vast relief for anyone who started reading my BJJ training blog and is now wondering if I'm ever going to stop thrashing around in my tortured psyche and do some actual jiu jitsu). I have this coming Thursday, Friday and Saturday off. I'm supposed to meet JoE on Thurs morning, and CC/D Thursday evening. Tentative goal- at least one Gracie class and one Sleeper class during those three days.

Also- it might be helpful to work on something new. When I first stopped going to kung fu class, I was considering taking the opportunity to try some capoiera. I don't think right now is the time to do that, since capoiera was one of SK's things, and it'll probably make me all depressed. However, CK's sister is an aerialist at Emerald City Trapeze, and aerial silk is something I've been wanting to try for a while. They also have an "acrobalance" blass, which looks like it might be vaguely the same type of partner-lifting dance/acrobatics that a few of us were branching into from the contact improv. Their waiver makes it look like they might not let you take classes if you don't have health insurance, though… so I'm trying to find out.

Who am I? Grief/detox/processing

2011-10-21T22:07:00.000-07:00

Loss of the friendship is still number one on my distress-o-meter so far.... but I'm starting to look ahead with a clinical interest to the time I'm really going to start freaking out in earnest about the question of my very identity as a martial artist/warrior now that SK and my kung fu group have been amputated from my life.

In the Shaolin tradition, at some point (usually after reaching black sash level, which is intermediate level) it was common to leave the temple to wander the world. Some came back years later to continue training, others didn't. If you didn't leave the temple when your teachers thought you were ready to, they kicked you out.

CK often references her own having been "kicked out of the temple"... DD declared her so when she moved out of town four years ago, even though she was a mid-level white sash at the time.... everyone always considered her a more advanced MA'ist because of her other arts and teaching skills.

I had no intention of leaving the temple, ever. Never even entered my mind.

One of the things I liked about Shaolin is that there was really no ceiling on what I could learn- I was never going to be "done". (Also, I never thought I'd approach CK's level of skill, nor approach black sash.) I fully expected to still be training under SK when I was 100 years old.

I certainly never expected to be leaving like THIS. I had my doubts about the class surviving after DD abandoned it, but I always figured that even if the group disintegrated, I'd still be able to get together with SK regularly and train. It never once crossed my mind to think what would happen- or what it would be like- or what I would do- if he was just....gone. Forever.

If this was another era, and my teacher had died, as his senior student I might be expected to take over teaching the group. If SK had actually died, I'm not sure what I would do- but I would have at least felt some responsibility to honor his legacy by thinking about and providing in some way for the rest of the junior students.

My teacher's not dead, and I haven't reached some level of rank that causes me to feel it's time to take walkabout from (or get kicked out of) the temple. This is a lot messier, more confusing, and without honor. It feels dirty and unfinished.

One could view this, however, as the universe (or God/s however you may define such) kicking me out of the temple.

If I were seeking some kind of higher meaning in this, one could wonder if there is something else I'm supposed to be doing now.

Hey, wait! I'm not ready! I wasn't done yet! There is still so much I wanted to learn from SK!

I am left with a very fundamental question: Who am I now? Who am I as a Shaolin practitioner permanently separated from her temple? Who am I as a warrior permanently separated from my mentor?

Thursday

2011-10-20T21:34:00.000-07:00

We live in an attention-deficit culture. We are bombarded with more and more information… the constant supply of stimulus has the potential to turn us into addicts, always hungering for something new and prefabricated to keep us entertained. When nothing exciting is going on, we might get bored, distracted, separated from the moment. So we look for new entertainment…If caught in these rhythms, we are like current-bound surface fish, floating along a two-dimensional world without any sense for the gorgeous abyss below. - Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”

Well, Pollyanna is dead. I made one final attempt to work out issues with SK, and got a pathetically inadequate response back. I have done all I can do to try to salvage this, but I can't fix it by myself, and he will not cooperate. So, it's official- I have quit SK's class and he is no longer my teacher- or my friend either. (I don't do Facebook, but I still made a digital-age ritual of it by putting his e-mail addy on my Twit-filter). We're never going to see or speak to each other again. That sucks, and I expect my mood will be roller-coastering all over the place for a fair while to come, and you'll still have to read my whining about it. But the bridge is now burned and the earth salted.... so hopefully closure will be able to come in time.

I was supposed to have class tonight with CC and D, but CC bailed. (I really hope that guy is not trying to set me up with D.... I wouldn't put it past him.)

We went over the bits of the Green Dragon form that we'd done previously. The part that starts kneeling with one Leopard Fist out, I have pretty well down. I need to remember that it starts with the right Leopard Fist palm towards me.

The part with the scissor step:

Begin facing north, rt Mantis hook at Rt shoulder and left hand palm up shoulder level stretched out to the west.

Hop into scissor, rt foot in back.

Unwind to kneel on left knee facing west, As you turn, rt elbow goes up to guard face. As you knee, left palm-heel strikes west at chest level. Rt arm is now at rt temple to ward.

Left hand pulls in to chest, rt hand comes down and left hand circles OVER TOP of it. Palm heel left hand to west again.

Left hand pulls back to rt jaw to ward. Rt forearm strikes forward.

(Note that the strike sequence is left, left, right)

Stand and turn torso to south, sliding into a lunge with rt leg straight. left forearm is at left temple to ward. Rt arm sweeps from rt to left and ends at left knee (palm facing east).

new part: the beginning.

Start facing north with rt Dragon hand sitting on thumb side of left fist, at left hip.

Little hop into cat stance (rt toe fwd) facing east. Both Dragon hands rotate clockwise all the way around, rt hand beginning at 12 o'clock and left hand beginning at 6 o'clock. When left hand gets to noon, being it down to rt jaw in Black Crane guard. Rt hand strikes east from chest in a palm-heel chest height.

Move weight forward so that you are in a front stance. Forearms fold across each other at chest with rt on bottom. strike with both elbows to east.

Skip forward a step to make another cat stance with rt toe in front. Both dragon arms rotate around again, unfolding (so they are going counterclockwise this time). End in a basic karate-style guard with rt hand on top.

After Green Dragon, we worked on Hurricane Hands, and I taught him up to the Dragon throw (but not the throw itself). Note to self that I need to make sure to practice that damn throw before I go back there. It's very difficult to correlate the arms and legs in relation to each other.

After that, we ran through Bung Bo Kuen several times.

D didn't want to spar. He obviously is avoiding sparring with me. I guess I hit too hard for him. Dang.

He reprimanded me about my stiff shoulders again, and also told me that my assignment was to do something fun this week. Argh.

Rage

2011-10-18T23:21:00.000-07:00

After making an error, it is so easy to cling to the emotional comfort state of
what was, but there is also that unsettling sense that things have changed for the
worse. The clear thinker is suddenly at war with himself, and flow is lost. - Josh
Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”

Rage. We gotz it.

"How are you tonight?"

I know full well that this is part of the "social dance steps" that we are all required to perform in order to get along in polite society. I know that the expectation is to respond pleasantly, "Fine, thank you." Even if the real answer is "Homicidal- do ya want some, you *%^$#& &%$^#^& @#$%98ing %#!@~?" or some variant thereof.

Even in my most mellow moods/times, I have always been perplexed by this one. Why do we ask this? Of random strangers? You are ringing up my Safeway purchases, you don't know me from Winnie Mandela, I am one of an endless string of anonymous customers that you are required to be polite to in order to earn the minimum wage that's barely going to buy your own groceries. Do you REALLY want to hear how I am tonight? **REALLY**?!?? Even if you do, are we gonna hold up the other five people in line behind me while I tell you all about it? And WTF good do you think it would do?

When I was a teenager, I routinely responded to this ubiquitous inane question with "Could be worse." Believe it or not, that response- which ought to be a red flag that this person is antisocial and in a pissy mood- causes people to try to engage you *MORE*. They want to find out more. They want to banter with you. They want to show you that they care. They want to fix you. In the forty-eight seconds before they need to start ringing up the guy behind you.

Grinding that "fine" out in these last two months just makes me want to rip someone's head off and fingerpaint the walls with blood.

Marci, the most junior student in SK's class, e-mailed me to ask what happened to
me. It was so thoughtful and sweet. And depressing.

Friday's FOD: Snake Versus Five Animals.
Saturday FOD: Leopard 3

Sunday FOD: Catherine Dao. Also did a few reps of that Green Dragon fragment, and

the new bit of JoE's Southern Mantis.

Monday FOD: Tai Chi long form.
Tuesday FOD: Black Crane One.

Thursday FOD: The Spear Hand fragment.

This was last week's FOD listing. It is now almost a week later and I am still on Spear Hand. This week did not exist.

I realize that part of my issue is that there is a lot of scheduling chaos and various unusual sources of stress at work- which would be rocky to cope with at the best of times.

The bigger part of my issue is that a huge- and arguably unhealthy- amount of my life (social, scheduling-wise, physical, mental, spiritual, both short- and long-term goals) was structured on and around my kung fu training. Now, with the structure removed, the entirety of my life is closely resembling those vids of the twin towers collapsing.

This is a bona fide pathological addiction. It's probably healthier in the long run that there doesn't seem to be any chance of getting it back, but the detox is hell. I'm not sure I can survive the detox.

For the first few weeks after I quit going to Kung Fu class, I was training a lot on my own time (mostly with Mirror forms). For a while, I think I was getting more
constructive work done than I had been getting done in class. The longer it goes-
and thus the more it looks like I'll never be going back- my will is sapping. Lately, just the thought of working forms makes me feel a little nauseous. I haven't even been able to bring myself to do the FOD for a week.

BJJ is not much better. I have absolutely no desire to go to class.

I feel so filled up with rage these past few weeks. I feel like I can relate to those people who shoot somebody dead for cutting them off in traffic. Seriously- if both restrooms are occupied, if my freeway exit is closed for road work, if I didn't get time to swing by the ATM- I just want to rip someone's head off and fingerpaint the walls with blood.

I've always had a lot of rage in me- but this is rage on steroids.

I'm not concerned that I'm actually going to go postal on someone for real.... but I can't stop myself from being short, curt, brusque, even sometimes borderline rude with everyone around me. I feel crappy for it, but at the same time I'm inwardly congratulating myself- "At least I didn't rip her head off and fingerpaint the walls with her blood! Yay me!"

I was trying to self-analyze today why I just don't feel like going to BJJ... and got a bit of a lightbulb flash on the fact that without my normal life structure- and the EQUILIBRIUM that structure offers- I just feel too unbalanced to roll with the normal bumps in everyday life. Normally, if some spazzy guy armbars me too hard, I might get ticked off or frustrated. Now, the same situation makes me want to rip someone's head off and fingerpaint the walls with blood. (I'm enjoying typing that phrase...quite...a lot......) Then in a split second, that scarlet killing fury frequently shifts to a black sucking vortex of despair ("I want to hang myself with my BJJ belt"). The fact that I can't seem to leave it on the mat is a factor as well. When I'm thinking of going to class, it's like, "Do I feel like engaging that depth of rage/despair and spending the rest of today (not to mention the sleepless night) marinating in it? Or would it be safer and less painful to just sit here and stare at the cracks in the floor for the next five straight hours?"

So.... addiction DT's to be waited out. Rage to be channeled into something, somehow, less destructive than ripping heads off and fingerpainting the walls with blood. Scheduling structure to be rebuilt. Equilibrium.... I'm at a loss right now as to what to do to start trying to get that back.

To Slay Pollyanna

2011-10-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

Problems set in if the performer has a brittle dependence on the safety of absolute perfection. -Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”

Tuesday FOD: Five Animals. Both the regular and the mirror versions seem very smooth and powerful today.

Tuesday lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Bellevue.

Double-leg drills, KOB drills, butterfly sweep setups. Positional training- try to pass/defend open guard. A couple of rolls- Bree, John, some white belt guy.

A long time rolling with Ben, which was actually pretty frustrating- trapped on the bottom a lot, getting choked and armbarred.

Kung Fu at CC's. Started with some reps and apps of a section out of a Green Dragon form- same form we were working with last time, but a different section. I really like the way this flows; very Dragonesque:

Start kneeling on rt knee, left Leopard Fist extended shoulder level to west, palm facing south. Rt Leopard fist guarding rt side of head.

Stand and bring both straight arms down in front of body, then circle slightly to right. Turn to face south, continuing the swirly circle to parry a low kick off both hands in front of thighs.

Turn west and step with left foot, bringing both arms up and over in a karate-chop motion chest level. Left hand is slightly ahead of rt.

Step west rt foot, circling both hands over head from left temple to rt to strike rt blade-hand palm-up head level to south. Left hand is warding palm-out at left brow.

Scissor step left foot to west behind rt. Left hand drops to Black Crane guard at rt jaw. RT hand circles to left shoulder and then down-and-out to groin strike to west with knife palm as you sink into the scissor stance.

Note that all of these arm motions are continuous and flowing with no pauses.

After that, they made me teach them the first part of Hurricane Hands, up to the elbow-grind and palm-heel.

Then D and I did a little slow sparring. They're still on my back about my constant Snake striking to the neck. I also took D's back and RNC'ed him, although I couldn't actually take his back with good form because he's too big for me to get my legs around him. He was cracking up the whole time time, even after I proceeded to throttle him till he had to tap.

I'm still having trouble with the big kicks- I need to react faster and stop freezing up when I see one coming in. Also having some difficulty with his wide right hooks- no one I'm used to sparring really tends to use those, so it's new. I don't know what style he favors, but he uses a lot of Mantis- always a challenge.

I cracked like an egg. I e-mailed SK and asked him if he was ever going to speak to me again. I know, I'm weak and pathetic and I'm a masochistic dumb-ass. But it's been four weeks and I'm going nuts. I want to know if anything can be salvaged, and failing that, I'd like some closure. Either way, I really want him to clear up some confusion about what really went down. He gave me a lot of contradicting information. It's difficult to move on either way when there's so much conflicting information and you don't really understand what happened.

I've been really terrified to ping him, because 1)if he ignores me, that's going to be really hurtful, 2)If we do talk it out, it's going to be a painful and difficult conversation, and and 3)If we're really finished with each other for good and all, I'm not eager to face the finality of that. As long as it was kind of hanging there inconclusively, some corner of my mind could maintain a little Pollyanna fantasy that everything might be fixed somehow and we could all go back to class and relations as usual. But I'm going nuts. I think the time has come to step up and slay Pollyanna- much as that's going to hurt.

Wednesday

2011-10-05T17:43:00.001-07:00

A man wants to walk across the land, but the earth is covered with thorns. He has two options- one is to pave his road, to tame all of nature into compliance. The other is to make sandals. Making sandals is the internal solution. Like the Soft Zone, it does not base success on a submissive world. - Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”

Saturday FOD: Angry Snake Defends Its Lair
Sunday FOD: Wood Monkey
Monday FOD: Kiu Two
Tuesday did not exist due to work/sleep cycle scheduling
Wednesday FOD: Box Form

Wednesday morning, JoE and I worked on some Box Form, Kiu Two, Southern Mantis, and some sparring. (We had planned to meet at Volunteer Park; I texted him and suggested his apartment lobby instead due to the rain and cold. Turns out I had his number entered erroneously in my phone. So I apparently texted some random stranger and suggested we meet at his apartment. Hope it's someone nice.) Anyway, we met at the park and then repaired to the apartment lobby.

New Southern Mantis fragment: After the turn and rising topfist.

Little skip forward- place rt foot where left foot was, left foot steps forward into a Southern Mantis stance (I keep wanting to do a cat here...). The rt hand circles back to chamber after the topfist, but continues without pause into a waist-level front punch as you are skipping forward.

Both hands move to center, then down-and-out in low palm-heel blocks (as in Three Step Arrow).

Reach up with both hands to grab opponent's head, bring it down as you bring rt knee up to smash.

JoE thinks this is one of the most difficult sections in the form just because of the tricky timing of the skip forward and the punch.

We went pretty slow and light with the sparring; he hit me too hard a few times, but it wasn't too bad. His Mantis technique is really difficult for me to parse.... I tend to not do very well against him. He couldn't take me down, though, and he tried a LOT. We did end up rolling around on the ground some at the end, during which he is so much stronger that he just pinned me and hit me till I had to cry uncle.

I'm not sure if that was helpful for me or not at this point. It was nice to be able to work some Kung Fu, and it was nice to see JoE again... I hate to lose contact with all the other students in the group that were not part of the conflict. It did churn up my maudlin again some, though.... my mood is poor this afternoon. I may need to ask him to just not talk about class or people from class, since that's what was kind of hard to deal with.

Wednesday lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Seattle. Standing shoulder lock. Then: Opponent tries to double-leg you, you sprawl, crossface, go to the side (NOT the back), and clock choke. THis worked much better when I remembered to switch my hips once I was cranking back toward the head.... but if you switch your hips too soon, the guy can reverse you, so you have to really watch the balance points.

Then, opponent tried to grab your leg while you're at the side. Switch your feet to trap his arm, then you can try to armbar by lifting your rear leg up (this worked beautifully the first time I tried it; my flexibility played to that very well... then Bryan started turning his arm under so that I couldn't do it any more), or else summersault over the person and finish the clock choke (or another sub) from there.

I got to drill with Bryan, who was helpful with the pointers.

Positional training starting with the opponent on your back. I can defend the choke fine, but I can't remove Bryan's monkey-feet hooks to save my life.

A long roll with Z. I spent a great deal of time trying to choke him, and only succeeded once. He's always fun to roll with, though.

I had every intention of making an evening class today as well, but I'm feeling really physically tired for some reason (even after eating). I have to get up pre-dawn for work in the morning anyway, so I think I'm going to let it slide.

CC is talking again about me teaching him (and D) Hurricane Hands. I just do not feel very good about this... especially now that I don't have SK to check clarifications/questions/apps with.

Friday

2011-10-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

If anyone strikes my heart, it does not break, but it bursts, and the flame coming out of it becomes a torch on my path. Hazrat Inayat Khan

Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Seattle.

Carlos makes us sweat Fridays, and this was no exception. After warmups, we did a shrimping, hip-switching drill involving putting a foot on the opponent's hip and then having him fling it off to the side, then we had to shrimp, re-orient, and put the opposite foot on the opposite hip. It was fine for a while, even though I was with a big guy who was throwing my legs with such force that my entire body was skidding about three feet to the side with every rep. After several minutes, though, hell set in. My upper abs are going to be aching in the morning.

More fast drills, lots of them. Then omoplatas from guard, with the opponent standing up in your guard. I said to the big guy, "You're about three inches too thick for me to close my guard around you!" "(laugh) I think you just called me FAT!" "I didn't say FAT, I said THICK!" I hate that because as soon as the guy stands up, I just slide helplessly down his legs. Just then Carlos came and took the THICK guy away from me and gave me Z instead.

Good spars with Z, Angus, and then Bryan. These were all really fun rolls.

Glenn ripped his pants to the point that they were half off. I commented, "And me without a few dollar bills to stick in your waistband." He exclaimed, "NO means NO!!!" Then JM ripped one of his pantlegs at the knee. Me: "If I'd known it was going to be Chippendales day, I would have made sure some of the other girls showed up."

Friday night no-gi at Sleeper.

Dead bugs- yeah, those upper abs again. Yow.

Guard passes- with the near knee in, with the far knee in, using cradle and backsit, getting rid of those pesky stray arms. Having lost weight since the school moved, I notice that being Cindy's demo dummy hurts even more- it's like bone on bone, and her bone is a lot harder than my bone!

Positional training from closed guard. Got tooled by Cindy and George. I tried hard to just keep working- but man, I was getting tired. Then I went with some new guy and after a while we stood up.... I didn't know that he was a judo guy. Ack! That did not go too well.

Freaky dream interlude

2011-09-30T07:29:00.001-07:00

(Being in a) Hard Zone demands a cooperative world for you to function. - Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”

I forgot this sweep from Thursday night, and I don't want to forget it, because I liked it:

Start on your back, with feet on kneeling opponent's hips (butterfly style), grip on both sleeve cuffs.

Hook top of rt foot around opponent's ribs just above your left foot.

With rt arm, underhook opponent's left knee. You are pulling yourself to hir, not hir to you. You want to be 90 degrees to hir now.

Rt hand keep grip on sleeve cuff and presses opponent's hand to your own left ribs. Don't open the knee too far out.

Pull sleeve and lift knee to get underneath opponent.

Another thing from last night I forgot to blog about- one of the guys was moaning about how rough Lindsey's warmups are. (hee hee). He said, "I'm coming in late next time!" The conversation was too far across the room for me to speak up and inform him that if he arrives late to Lindsey's class, he'll have to do pushups for so long that he'll be sorry he missed the warmup!

The FOD is the Northern Mantis Bo form.
123.5

As often occurs during very difficult periods in my life, last night I had an entire series of vivid, violent and bizarre dreams- after each one, waking up bug-eyed and disturbed.

In one of them, I was one of several escapees breaking out and fleeing some kind of military prison. As the sharpshooters picked off escapees, said gunned-down escapees turned into zombies who immediately attacked their fellow escapees (eyeroll). I and one other escapee made it to the front gate along with one of the zombies. I slipped between them and left my fellow escapee to deal with the zombie while I continued to rabbit for the horizon. When I woke up, I was disturbed because that is atypical behavior for me, even in a dream. True that both the fellow escapee and the zombie were adult men, and that guy probably had much better odds against the zombie than I did (especially since I was unarmed)I didn't know that guy or have any particular loyalty toward him, hanging around to try to help would probably result in getting shot and zombified myself even if we managed to take the zombie.... but still. Not characteristic for me, even in a dream. When I'm upset and depressed, I tend more toward an extra bit of the kamikazee- not running away like a bunny.

In another one, I was an office clerk in a prison (quite the prison theme going here; at least I was on the correct side of the bars this time), and an inmate was telling me and a fellow clerk that he'd had a premonition that my fellow clerk was going to be attacked and murdered in a spectacularly bloody fashion in one of the offices. (Complete with transferred visions; yeah, it was brutal- it was a tiny office, and it looked like the corpse had been stuffed in a blender with the lid off) For some inexplicable reason, I trusted this inmate enough to stand alone with him in a hallway (him unrestrained and me unarmed- I was just a clerk, not a guard), and thank him for doing this to protect my colleague. He didn't attack me, which I half expected him to. When I woke up, that one disturbed me because I had just been berating myself for trusting foolishly- why did I trust *that* guy? I guess I only have to worry about my close friends betraying me and stabbing me through the heart, not delusional prison inmates that I'm dumb enough to meet with unarmed in deserted hallways.

And no, before you ask, I wasn't on any intoxicants or pharmaceuticals at all last night, not even a Unisom- although I wished I'd taken one- hell, a handful- by the fifth or so espisode of this whacko dream series. The 5am wakeup was the limit of what I could bear; I just gave up and got out of bed then. Can hardly wait to see what's going to be playing on the mental big screen tonight. Going to bed these days feels like walking the Green Mile. I've been sleeping on the wood floor for a month, just to try to jog myself out of what feels like a sort of hostile territory- the mere thought of putting the mattress down makes me feel nauseous. I should be getting my camping equipment back in the next day or two... I'm going to set up the pup tent in the living room and try sleeping in there for a while to see if that's enough change of scenery to jog me out of this negative pattern. I will also be able to drape the tent with a blanket and try to get a little more darkness; the eyemask isn't getting the job done.

The Wishbone

2011-09-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

When we have worked hard and succeed at something, we should be allowed to smell the roses. They key is to recognize that the beauty of those roses lies in their transience. It is drifting away even as we inhale. We enjoy the win fully while taking a deep breath, then we exhale, note the lesson learned, and move onto the next adventure. –Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”

Saturday FOD: Chen Dao.
Sunday FOD: Hurricane Hands.
Monday FOD: Frolic Of the Five Animals.
Tuesday FOD: Little Red Dragon. 123.5 pounds this morning... eep.
Wednesday did not exist due to shifting work/sleep patterns.
Thursday FOD: Leopard Fist. 122.5

Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Bellevue. Double-leg drills, ankle pick drills (arrgh, more confusion as to which lapel to grab/which knee to kneel on/which ankle to pick. I wish I could tell my left from my right.) Failed armbar from guard transitioning into omoplata. (Note to "choke up" as far up on the arm as possible, as well as keeping a death grip on the wrist or sleeve cuff) Some positional training from closed guard, then one spar with Sonia and one with John. I got one tap on Sonia (armbar), but she made me sweat for it.

Evening BJJ at Gracie Bellevue. Pat told me to "leave all my problems at the door" (Or "leave them on the mat" or some such thing, I can't recall exactly how he phrased it, but he was trying to be supportive. Another nice hug from Rodrigo.

Armbar-from mount drills (note, make sure to get that knee up far enough- right behind their head- make 'em use it for a pillow), then the same setup only going for a collar choke. I got to drill with Angela, which was nice since she gave me some good feedback and pointers. Those collar chokes where you haul on the pantleg are killer... one of the things I hate about them is that you really have no free limb to tap with- and since you're being choked, it's not easy to verbally tap either!

I drew some vicious competition for sparring tonight- black belt Doug and purple belt Alisson. Doug showed me a handy way of tightening a choke, and also tweaked my (minimal) leglock ability. When you roll with Alisson, you tend to spend a goodly amount of time suspended in the air in hip-cracking Chinese splits. He loves X guard, as well as any sweep that involves making a wishbone out of your pelvis. Even knowing this going in, he still got me several times. Neither of them ever hurt me, though...it's so nice to have a chance to work with good training partners at that level.

Spurred by my re-reads of Julia Cameron- and my desire to keep my brain as busy as possible so as to stay distracted from less pleasant topics- I have started writing weblit. Well, it's not exactly weblit yet because I haven't posted it. But if I can keep at it (Mood is what the cow did; I read that somewhere in the last day or so and it cracked me up... but so true), once I get a big enough chunk, I'll create a blog for it. Still haven't decided if I'm going to connect it to my training blog, or invent yet another persona. There's already some BJJ in it, though. And staff fighting. ;-)

JoE e-mailed me to ask why I haven't been in class. Turns out he might be willing to get together with me and do some sparring and/or formwork from time to time, so that would be really good. God, I miss my Kung Fu class. So much. SK has not even SPOKEN to me for three weeks. Guess I shouldn't hold my breath waiting for him to ever do so again. That's really hurtful. That's COLD, after we've been friends for some five years and trained together 2-5 times every single week; I was his "senior student" (his words, not mine), and by *all* accounts I never did ANYTHING WRONG- aside from my mere EXISTANCE (well, sorry for that, guys)- in the mess that precipitated this situation. He really treated me like garbage here. I thought he was one of those people that one could trust to have one's back- Gods know *I'd* take a bullet for *him*- part of my anger is at myself for trusting him, and frustration that after being this close for this long, I still misjudged him to this degree. I mean, do we EVER learn? By this age I've been fucked over by enough people that I would have thought I could trust my instincts better to spot that sort of lack of integrity- the people who seem to be an integral part of each other's lives and yet are capable of quickly and easily discarding you for no good reason like a used styrofoam cup (You can't even recycle those), and never glancing back or losing a smidge of sleep over it.

It's plain now that he picked that argument- when he texted me and chewed me a new one for letting interpersonal crap interfere with class- in order to provide himself a platform to stomp off in a huff and just never speak to me again- thus relieving him of responsibility to hang in there and try to fix anything. Way to go. Real mature, dude. (Note to self, however... don't ever again get sucked into an argument via texting on a damn Tracfone. I kinda doubt it would have gone much better in person, but I'll always wonder.)

My stew of grief, confusion and anger is starting to congeal with a layer of pissed-offedness rising to the top like that oily layer of fat you get when you refrigerate your leftover stroganoff.

Friday

2011-09-23T20:58:00.001-07:00

An attorney who in specializes in self-defense told me that of the 300 clients who said something to the police before talking to him, only two managed to NOT hurt their case. Those two didn't help their case, they just didn't hurt it any. If you are involved in a shooting, call the police, physically cooperate with them, but don't say anything except you want to call your attorney. --Greg Hamilton

Today's FOD is Bung Bo Kuen.

Besides the colleague who just got canned, one other is on jury duty for the next five weeks and an additional one is going on an extended medical leave. Getting to class is going to be an ever-increasing challenge for the rest of the year, especially with the weird hours and how crappy I've been sleeping. On the plus side- I'll be able to get my mondo car-repair bill paid off.

Friday no-gi at Sleeper. Side control escapes to take the back. Positional training from side control. I have to duck out before 8 on work nights, so I only got one free spar with Cindy and one with George (was so exhausted after Cindy that I could barely move with George).

This week

2011-09-22T21:05:00.000-07:00

you don't stop fighting until the fight is over. You don't need to go down just because you have taken a few hits. As long as you believe you can keep going you will. If you do go down, you are still going to win because you are going to gnaw through his Achilles' tendon and bring him down to where you can rip his head off. -Greg Hamilton

Tuesday: FOD is Tiger Versus Crane.

Today I played with Frolic In the Mirror up to the "skipping Mantis" part.

When I began this "Mirror forms" project, I was viewing it as something that would keep me occupied in periods of not-getting-any-new-material for years to come. It is sobering to look at my forms list and realize that I can actually see the ceiling. After Frolic, Wood Monkey is really the only form that it makes decent sense to work off the opposite side.

I guess I could work the two two-person Snake forms- Kiu Two and Snake Versus Five- off the opposite side, but no one will ever be able to do them with me! All the other forms- including the Tai Chi forms- are encyclopedic enough that they are already doing all the techniques off both sides within the original form.

Wednesday: FOD is the White Crane Walking the Path fragment.

Thursday: The FOD is the Tai Chi short form.

Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Bellevue. The thought of food was disgusting, but- remembering how exhausted I got and how poorly I performed after not eating before class- I made myself eat protein and carbs.

Armbar from mount drills (Miriam had us folding up the leg closest to the head to remount; this was new and sort of awkward for me), double-leg drills, some back-and-forth "pick your own takedown", positional training from front mount and from closed guard.

Still too tired to want to do open mat; but it didn't matter today since everyone scattered anyway.

Having a lot of trouble gearing up enough to make a decent effort. I just can't make myself give a crap about much of anything right now.

Kung fu over at CC's with CC and D. Mostly one- and two-step sparring. D is definitely assuming an assistant instructor role instead of fellow student.

Like CC, he complains if I hit even medium-soft.... it's so difficult for me to remember to go that light after five years of going medium-hard in SK's class. Even when I start out being really light and careful, as soon as we speed up a bit, I forget. I got reprimanded numerous times. Sigh.

They want me to try to go for a more varied range of targets; as I tend to stick mostly to head and neck. Again, old habits die hard. Especially when the opponents are a lot bigger and have thick torsos, I just have a hard time feeling confident with rib attacks and such. (Without thinking, I protested, "But *that's* the soft part!" indicating D's head. Oops.)

Also caught myself referring to SK as "my teacher" and that group as "we" a few times, even though I have a terrible dread that neither of those will ever be true again.

Chen sword form

2011-09-19T21:32:00.001-07:00

You've just dumped a scumbag. Don't put your gun away. You scan the area. Jackals and lions travel in packs. You probably will never be involved in another shooting in your entire life. This is it! Make the most of it. This is a target rich environment. See if there is someone else that needs to be shot. -Greg Hamilton

The FOD is Hurricane Hands. (The bowl is now empty- starting a new rotation).

+Chen Jian Form

Begin standing straight, facing north. Both hands at sides. Sword is in left hand, held backhand with blade up and lying along left arm with tip extending up beside left ear.

Slowly step left foot out to west (toe first) in horse. Slowly equalize weight. Pause.

Bring arms up slowly to horizontal in front ("zombie" pose). Shoulders are relaxed. Rt palm facing floor. Sword is still held along the forearm, so that when arms are horizontal, tip is pointing straight behind you.

Return arms to thighs.

Shift weight to rt foot. left heel comes off floor. Hands move to a "holding the energy ball" pose in front of stomach (rt hand on bottom). Sword is still held along left forearm. Now the tip is pointing to your left (west).

Lift rt hand (palm out) to your rt shoulder, with first two fingers up, as though signalling for the waiter to bring your bill.

Turn left to west and step out with left foot in a front stance. Left hand (with sword still lying along forearm- now it is again point-up) drops to groin and sweeps around left thigh to clear. End with hand just behind your left thigh and sword lying along the back of your arm as at the beginning. Rt two-finger hand presses to west past face and strikes (fingers up, thumb toward you) to west chin height, almost at arm extension.

Cross rt foot in front of left to west in a scissor. Rt two-finger hand stretches behind you (to east), diagonally down toward the floor. Left hand (with sword still lying along the back of forearm) stretches in front of you (to west) at an upward diagonal. Torso is facing north. Look behind you at the two-finger hand.

Bring left foot up to right, and lift rt toe in a narrow cat. Transfer the sword to the rt hand. Twirl the blade up-over-down in a circular motion behind you and to your left. End holding hilt in front of chest with with tip toward the floor, wrist bent in a gooseneck, left two-finger hand resting on the back of your rt wrist.

Step out to east in as deep a lunge as possible, left leg straight. Slice sword ankle-height from left to rt in a wide crescent. Torso turns with sword to keep it on your centerline.

Lift left knee to stand on rt leg. bring sword to ward horiz above brow (tip to your left, to west). Your torso is now facing north. As soon as you are in this pose, remove your two-finger left hand from right wrist and track it slowly (palm fwd, fingers up) across your face from rt to left till it is almost at arm extension off to your left.

Turn torso northeast and drop into as deep a lunge as possible. Left leg is straight. Chop sword down to northeast. Left palm goes to back of rt wrist.

Slice sword ankle-height from rt to left in a wide crescent. Torso turns with sword. Your lunge switches legs as you pass center, to end in a west-facing lunge with rt leg straight. Left two-finger hand (palm out) is above left temple to ward. Sword is horiz at chest level with palm up and blade tip angled to northwest.

Drop left two-finger hand to the back of your rt wrist and bring rt foot up to left foot.

Turn rt wrist down (this will turn the sword over).

Step out with rt foot to northwest in a forward stance. Push sword horiz at waist level to northwest. Tip is pointing southwest.

Pull left foot in to right. Turn rt wrist over so that inside of the wrist is up (this will turn the sword over)

Turn west and step out west with left foot for a fwd stance. Left two-finger hand (palm out) above left temple to ward. Push sword horiz at waist level to southwest.

Pull rt foot in to left foot.

Lift left knee to stand on rt foot. Bring left two-finger hand to cross chest and sit at rt shoulder. Rt hand circles clockwise to groin, left shoulder, rt shoulder, then chop sword in a point-down diagonal at your rt. Left two-finger hand continues its circle down-out-and-around to end warding (palm out) at left temple.

Drop left foot to floor behind you and transfer weight to that foot, lifting rt toe for a cat stance. Place two-finger left hand on rt wrist. Draw sword hilt to your chest, tip diagonally up to west. Inside of wrist is upward.

Lift left knee to stand on rt foot as you stab sword on an upward diagonal to west.

Drop left foot to ground in a narrow front stance to west (left foot in front). Level the sword horizontally over your brow (point pointing north, inside of wrist inward).

Pull left two-finger hand to your left hip. Draw hilt to your left, then drop it down to left hip, then level sword horizontally at waist (tip pointing to south). Settle weight back on left foot in a cat with body turned to northwest. Pull sword hilt back to rt hip. sword is now horiz at waist with tip pointing to southwest. Left two-finger hand returns to left temple to ward (palm out).

PUll left foot in to rt. Left two-finger hand goes to rt wrist.

Turn rt wrist up (this will turn the sword over).

Step left foot out to west in a front stance. Left two-finger hand goes above left temple (palm out) to ward. Push sword horiz waist level to north, tip pointing west. (inside of wrist is upward).

Rock weight back on rt foot. Place left two-finger hand on rt wrist. Turn left toe to north.

Put weight on left foot again and pull rt foot in to left. Turn wrist down (this will turn the sword over).

Turn 180 degrees to your rt to end in a front stance (rt foot in front) facing east. Push sword horiz at waist level to east. Tip is pointing northwest and inside of wrist is downward.

Turn rt wrist inside-up (this will turn the sword over). Transfer weight to left foot and pull rt foot back to left in a narrow cat. Pull rt hand with sword hilt in to chest. Sword is now held horiz at chest level with tip pointing southeast.

Step rt foot behind you and transfer weight to it, lift left heel to make an east-facing cat. Both hands pull to hips. Left is in a two-finger position (palm to ground), rt is holding sword hilt horiz at rt hip with tip pointing east.

Bring both hands to breastbone, left two-finger hand on rt wrist. hilt is against breastbone, sword horiz with tip pointing east. Step rt foot up to left. The feet are side by side, rt is up on toe.

Step east with rt foot and stab sword to east at breast level almost at extension of arms. left foot comes up on toe. Do not pause here; this should be a quick step with weight overbalanced forward that looks almost like a stumble.

Step forward to east with left foot and bring both arms down to hips as in previous technique. This is another quick, "stumbling forward" step.

Step forward to east with rt foot to make a forward stance. Left two-finger hand goes to rt wrist. Sword stabs to east at chest level.

(Note that the next set of techniques makes a double figure-8 motion withthe hilt leading, this should be one smooth continuous motion)

Turn torso to north, turning toes to north to make a high horse. Pull sword to horiz warding over brow (tip pointing east).

Drop hilt to left hip, then pull to rt hip.

Turn toe of rt foot to south. Turn body rt to south and make a south-facing high horse. Weight is on rt foot. As you turn, pull hilt up to rt temple. Sword is now horiz above brow with tip pointing east.

Drop hilt to rt hip.

Step rt foot to east and turn torso north in high horse. Lift hilt from rt hip to horiz waist level, tip pointing east. Inside of wrist is upward. Left two-finger hand leaves wrist and goes to ward above left temple (palm out).

Turn to west in cat (left toe in front). Sword hacks overhead (make sure it slices over and down, not floating over with the tip pointing up) to end horiz pointing west chest level. Rt elbow is braced on chest. Left hand braces rt wrist.

Pull sword back and down to rt hip. Tip remains pointed west. Left hand presses forward at chest level with two fingers up (palm out).

Rt foot steps up to stand beside left. Bring sword hilt back to breastbone, left hand supporting rt wrist. Inside of wrist is upward.

Turn rt toe to north. Torso turns northwest.

Lift sword to rt temple. Inside of wrist is outward (to north). Blade is now horiz at brow level with tip pointing west. Left two-finger hand is on right wrist.

Step forward left foot to southwest to make a front stance. Torso is now facing west. Swing sword in a powerful U-shaped arc down to groin and then up to above left temple. Tip remains pointing west at all times. Left two-finger hand remains on rt wrist.

Step rt foot up beside left. Torso turns southwest.

Step rt foot out northwest to make a front stance. Torso is now facing west. Swing sword in a powerful U-shaped arc down to groin and then up to above rt temple. Tip remains pointing west at all times.

Step left foot up beside rt. Torso turns northwest.

Step forward left foot to southwest to make a front stance. Torso is now facing west. Swing sword in a powerful U-shaped arc down to groin and then up to above left temple. Tip remains pointing west at all times. Left two-finger hand leave wrist to ward (palm out) at left temple.

Step rt foot up beside left. Torso turns southwest.

Look behind you to east. Step and cross rt foot in front of left to west. Thrust left two-finger hand to west on an upward diagonal. Turn blade point to east and thrust sword east on a downward diagonal.

Step left foot west to make a forward stance. Bring sword overhead (again, slice down- don't let the tip float to the ceiling) to poke diagonal at the ground to west. Rt arm is held over head, elbow bent and against rt ear. Left two-finger hand braces rt wrist.

Rock weight back on rt foot and turn left toe to north.

Turn to your left to end east in a front stance (rt foot in front). Hack sword down to end horiz chest level, pointing east. Left two-finger hand circles down-out-and-up opposite the sword cut and ends at left temple (palm out) warding.

Bring left foot up beside rt. Torso is facing northeast. Left two-finger hand returns to rt wrist. Drop blade so that it is almost vertical to ground along your rt thigh.

Turn north and take a small step north with left foot, followed by right foot. End in a narrow cat with rt toe fwd. Bring blade up-and-over to hack north in a downward diagonal. Left two-finger hand drops down to groin, circles to left thigh, then up to left shoulder, completing the circle by ending pressed to rt wrist.

Describe a small counterclockwise circle on the ground with the point of the blade, moving only your wrist.

Step rt toe behind left heel, following with your torso, to end facing south. Pull up left knee to stand on rt leg. Pull hilt to rt hip and then sweep blade up to horiz at brow (tip pointing east) as you complete the turn. Pause. Remove your two-finger left hand from right wrist and track it slowly (palm fwd, fingers up) across your face from rt to left till it is almost at arm extension off to your left.

Step left foot east, toe turned north. Bring both hands to your left hip, placing left two-finger hand on rt wrist. Sword tip stabs to your rt (to north) hip level. Step out east rt foot to make a front stance, and continue the curving motion of the sword up to left shoulder and then around and down to end horiz pointing east chest level.

Without moving your feet, turn torso as far to your rt as possible and look over rt shoulder. Keeping arm straight, swing sword to point diagonally downward to west behind your rt hip.

Turn to east again and step fwd with left foot, then bring rt toe forward, to make a cat stance with rt foot in front. Bring sword up-and-around in a hack to east, ending with tip pointing down diagonally. Left two-finger hand circles clockwise to groin, left hip, then up-and-around to end on rt wrist.

Turn to south and step rt foot west in a deep lunge, rt leg straight. Bring sword around in a sweeping arc from your left to your right, ending pointed west at an upward diagonal. Inside of wrist is upward. Torso ends facing southwest. Make sure that the body turns *WITH* the sword, keeping the blade on your centerline. Left arm remains at a 45 degree angle off your left hip.

Turn east and shift stance into an east-facing forward stance with left foot fwd. Left two-finger hand goes to rt wrist. Sword is held horiz at waist level with wrist bent and tip pointing southeast.

Pull left foot *back* to rt foot to make a cat with left toe up. Turn inside of wrist downward (this will turn the sword over) and pull it toward body so that forearm is pressed against stomach. Sword tip is pointing northeast.

Step out east with left foot, then with rt foot to east to make a fwd stance with rt foot in front. Turn wrist up (this will turn the sword over). Push sword horiz at waist level to east. Tip is pointing southeast. Left two-finger hand goes above left temple to ward.

Place left two-finger hand on rt wrist. Turn wrist downward (this will turn the sword over).

Turn rt toe out as far as you can, and turn to your rt till you are facing north. You are now in a cat with left toe fwd. As you complete the turn, pull both hands down to hips. Sword is horiz at rt hip, tip pointing north.

Bring sword hilt up to chest level, place left two-finger hand on rt wrist. Blade is still horiz, tip to north.

Shift weight forward into a front stance. Stab to north, chest level.

Turn body to face east, shift weight onto rear (rt) foot. Pull sword hilt back to rt shoulder. Switch it to your left hand.

Turn body to face north and step forward with rt foot to stand straight. Bring left hand in an arc across brow, hilt up. End at left thigh, sword held hilt-down along the back of left arm and tip extending up beside left ear. Rt arm comes around mirroring the motion of the left, to end at the rt thigh.

Salute.

Sunday

2011-09-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

Most people are grass-eaters with their heads down on the ground. The jackals and lions know this and think of them as that. Hold your head up and walk like you are the biggest, baddest lion that walks. The jackals and lions will notice and leave you alone because they don't want to get hurt. Don't challenge them because they might feel they have to respond to it. All you want is their respect, not their dignity. -Greg Hamilton

The FOD is Black Crane 1.

Lindsey's competition class at Gracie Seattle.

I ate a salad before I went to class, and that was a mistake I will not repeat. I felt like I barely had enough energy to blink my eyelids, let alone do BJJ. Next time I will make sure to eat something more substantial.

Between that and the fact that I can't turn my mind away from the Chernobyl that is my personal life, I didn't have a very good class. I did get a triangle on a white belt, which is a big deal- that is one of my worst techniques. But I spent a lot of time lying there not being able to do much, getting frustrated and despairing.

It's really hard on Kung Fu class nights. I really miss Kung Fu. SK is still not speaking to me, and I really miss him, too.

Last time I was a having a really bad time in my personal life, I applied myself with desperate abandon to my MA training and used it as a drug to help get through that time. This time, it's harder, because I've lost my Kung Fu group/class at the same time. The double whammy is very difficult to take. BJJ helps some, but it also reminds me that I'm missing Kung Fu.... and BJJ doesn't have quite the same depth of spiritual involvement (yet, anyway) that Kung Fu has for me. It is not quite as effective of a drug.

A few run-throughs of all the Mirror forms and their regular-side equivalents. I also worked a bit on the opening moves of Frolic In the Mirror.

Saturday

2011-09-18T15:50:00.001-07:00

Ninety times out of a hundred it will work. If not, then you may have to give them the universal hand signal for LIE DOWN! (Holds handgun in firing position and repeatedly pulls trigger.) -Greg Hamilton

The FOD is Angry Snake Defends Its Lair.

Saturday BJJ at Gracie Seattle. "Intro" class followed by competition class.

It is spider guard day. We did 3 different spider guard sweeps. Got to drill with Jonh, which is always good. Fingers are all sore and gi-burned now, will have to tape tomorrow.

King Of the Hill starting in Spider guard. I was reasonably competitive passing spider guard, although I didn't get a turn on the bottom- from which I would have done much more poorly!

Rolls with John, Sonia, and Prof Miriam (finally!) She is even smaller than me, and I was a brute- being heavy on top of her. That was fascinating and fun, though. Sonia mentioned that I was much "tighter". Cool.

I was going to go to Sleeper's no-gi after that, but the place was locked up when I got there. Probably a tournament going on that I wasn't aware of.

A few reps od Angry Snake, a few resp os the ending of the Chen sword form, a little double short sticks practice, a few mirror forms. I can do Hurricane Hands In the Mirror all the way to the end now, but I still need more practice on which Snake hand is on top after each of the turns.

Friday

2011-09-17T00:35:00.001-07:00

This is the universal hand signal for GO AWAY! (Holds handgun in firing position.)

----

The FOD is Kiu Two.

Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Seattle.

It was hard to drag myself out- but I'm hoping that since I did, I will not have a huge battle to try to get to sleep tonight.

It's supposed to be "advanced" (which sometimes tips the balance of me deciding to not go, when I'm wavering due to feeling tired or brain-dead), but the last few times I've gone, it has turned out to be something like "competition class" instead- lots of warmups and calisthenics, several sessions of timed positional training, then timed matches with various people. I spent most of the time working with Sonia. I started to try to keylock her once, then said aloud, "Oh, yeah, I forgot- I can't keylock you!" She of the double-jointed arms. She then insisted that I *could*, as long as I had really good technique. Okay, so maybe it's not fruitless to try.

I also rolled with Angus and Z. I got trapped in bottom halfguard with Angus. With Z, I'm used to getting tossed around like a catnip ball gets tossed around by a kitten- so this time I got on top and made myself as drapey and heavy as possible. He still swept me a couple of times, but that worked better than any of my previous efforts against him.

Note than Rodrigo commented that I need to "use my hands" more.

Ran through some Kiu Two, and Hurricane Hands In the Mirror.

Wednesday & Thursday

2011-09-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

Sheep can be controlled by the sheepdog for the same reason they fear the wolf -- they are both predators. The same relationships hold with the general population, the police, and the criminals. Most people are sheep, but you don't have to be. If you have the skills and attitude of a predator the criminals will leave you alone -- because they will recognize you as a predator and there is easier game available. -Greg Hamilton

Wednesday:

The FOD is Box Form.

A few reps of Box Form, a few reps of CC's version of Box Form (note: remember to transfer weight to front stance at the end… left leg in front, RIGHT spear hand). A few reps of the Leopard At Dawn frag. All the Mirror forms in a string. Several extra reps of Black Crane 1 In the Mirror and Tiger Versus Crane In the Mirror (note: Tiger kick sequence- put rt foot in front and KEEP in there). Many reps of the first bit of Hurricane Hands In the Mirror (note that on the stab-at-the-ground, right Snake (the one closest to thigh) needs to be on top), some work on the next few techniques. Up to the slap-and-block (note: the LEFT hand is on top for that block).

Ow. Muscle in the distal part of the back of my left thigh is sore. I think it's from repping that reap in BC1. Either that or the snap kick.

Thursday:

125.

The FOD is the Three Step Arrow frag.

Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Bellevue.

Shoulder throw setups, armbars from front mount (Note: Mira likes to post on the opponent's chest instead of the mat... if it works better for her, it will probably work better for me), armbars from guard.

Positional training from mount and closed guard. I spent a full 5 min trying to finish a clock choke on a white belt, but he defended well, with his chin down.

One roll with John. Every time I got stuck in bottom half guard, I turtled and tried to sit out. It didn't always work, but it was better than just lying under there.

Feeling a bit of ache from the right side ribs under the arm- where I had that bad "rib out" several months ago. It's just a small ache, but I'm anxious about it, given how bad it got last time.....

Run-through of all the mirror forms, plus the Three Step Arrow bit.

Session with CC. He has another student visiting from out of town, so we worked together. We did apps out of a piece of Hurricane Hands, then apps out of a piece of some Green Dragon form that he knows and I don't. That last didn't go too well; I am very slow to learn new form material, and trying to learn a piece and then immediately do apps.... well.

Begin facing north, left arm horiz at shoulder pointing west, rt hand pak-sau'ing at chest.

Hopping stance change, to a deep scissor with rt leg in back.

Unwind, Turning to your rt and go down on left knee. You are now facing west. Rising block over temple with rt arm, palm strike horiz with left hand (fingers south).

There were two rotating strikes after this, but I'm STILL not sure how they go.

We did some sticky hands, then D asked me to teach him the opening of Hurricane Hands, which I did.

He's going to be in town for a few weeks, so maybe all three of us can work together some more. He immediately established a habit of giving me corrections and "good job"'s, which was mildly annoying. I don't know what level he is, but he did start out by admitting that he hasn't trained in almost a decade.

CC also mentioned that RS is moving to Connecticut. Lovely. Not that I was seeing him much as it is- but now he's going to be twenty times further away. He may visit once more before he goes.

Sunday/Monday

2011-09-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

Sunday:

The FOD is Kiu Two.

A few reps of Kiu Two, a few reps of Angry Snake (again, with a pen instead of a dao), all the mirror forms in a string. Touch Bridge seems as good as the others now. I was able to do that tricky arm spin in Five Points, by cueing myself to remember the start position a couple of moves beforehand.

Many reps of the Mirror forms in progress, Tiger Versus Crane and Black Crane 1. TvC: That spinning flying kick, starting to come along a bit. I added a couple of the next techniques…. If I wait till I can do the kick to move on, I'll never get this one done. Black Crane: I went ahead and worked my way all the way through it, since it is a very short form. The hairy part is the reap at the end- another spot where all four limbs are doing different things at once. It's coming, though.

Monday:

The FOD is Little Red Dragon.

Once again I am drafted to work a stretch of midnight shifts to cover for so-and-so who continually calls in sick. The boss has confirmed (confidentially to me) today that she is fixin' to let this person go. If I took this position, it would mean mostly midnight shifts (my favored shift) from now on, much less bouncing from shift to shift at all hours, a more regular/predictable/plannable schedule, and- whoee- health insurance. It also starts at 9:30pm. If I return to SK's class, I can't possibly get to work on Thursdays and Sundays till 11pm. I told the boss that I would only apply for the position if there was a way that I could get cleared to come in late on those two days. The logical part of my brain is asking me, "What are you smoking, woman???!?? You're a shoo-in for this job, but you could get passed over because of this clause. And you don't know if you will ever be able to return to that class anyway." Yet I just can't seem to burn that bridge. (If SK ever speaks to me again, maybe he'll be reassured to hear that I'm compromising my career on the hope/assumption that I'm going to be back in class at some point.)

Stretches of midnight shifts do make it very challenging to get to any BJJ. Yet on my days off, I ought to be able to do two classes per day- as long as I'm not too wiped out. Things are going to be hard for a few months- till someone gets hired and trained to fill whichever schedule hole remains. In the meantime, I will be doing the lion's share of both jobs. It looks like this entire year (beginning with my busted finger, and finishing with burning the work candle at both ends)is just panning out to be a poor year for training, on all fronts.

Today I worked on Little Red Dragon, all the Mirror forms in a string again (including Touch Bridge, which is as good as any of the others, and Black Crane 1, which just needs a few more reps to be equally as good. Several reps of the tricky reap at the end of BC1, which is really the only challenging part. More Tiger Versus Crane: mostly the spinning flying kick, and starting to work into the two final kick sequences after that. The Tiger sequence- on the mirror side- goes Left kick first, then right, and left back kick at the end. The footwork is a little tricky- if you don't have correct foot in front, your legs are essentially braiding when you try to do the kicks. The other kick sequence is going to be fairly easy to memorize, I just need a little practice doing the flying kicks on the less familiar side.

Played with the opening to Hurricane Hands In the Mirror. It was either going to be that one or Frolic Of the Five Animals.

Saturday

2011-09-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

Nothing says, "Please don't rape me." like multiple jacketed hollowpoints. -John Fogh

The FOD is Leopard Fist.

I will not be going to Kung fu today. I guess I should stop writing that, since it is now the norm instead of the exception. Despite my initial resolve to keep my mouth shut and my head down for a while, I lasted a whole two days before I e-mailed SK Saturday morning and apologized for distressing him with my absence- explaining that I'd truly thought it was not impacting anyone besides me. Haven't heard back from him. Sigh. He's really pissed at me. I am really unhappy.

I e-mailed CC and asked for a lesson. We're supposed to meet on Thursday evening (when I will yet again *not* be going to SK's class). Sigh. It's good to be able to work with CC- who will be, if I do not return to SK's class- my only option for continuing to study Kung Fu. But every time I work with him, it hits home how much better SK's teaching style melds with my learning style. Not to mention CC is much less accessible. That will burn more acutely now.

Today, besides Leopard Fist as the FOD, I did all the mirror forms in a string. It is *finally* starting to stick in my head which way I need to open up Leopard Three in order to go which direction. I need to keep my brain focussed on the BOTTOM hand, because that is the one I'm going to strike to the inside with next. As long as I focus on that, it is obvious which way I'll be turning after that. The mind is so funny sometimes, the things it will remember and the things it won't.

Need to rep the arm-spin thing from Five Points, just that, about a million times. Everything else in the mirror version of 5 Points is going pretty well, but that one thing always stymies me. The left hand needs to fly up to about 11 o'clock and circle COUNTERCLOCKWISE from there.

A couple reps of Angry Snake, with a pen in place of a sword. Many reps of the opening moves of Tiger Versus Crane In the Mirror. I worked with some of the next techniques for that one. That centrifugal jumping spinning kick that always gives me so much trouble- not the kick, but the way the arms go- is even worse on the opposite side! Maybe I will gain some clarity working with it from the other side.

I also practiced the opening moves of Black Crane 1 In the Mirror- up to "Crane Serves Drinks" (no, that's not the real name of the technique, but that's what it looks like).

My injured knee doesn't seem too bad; it's probably a good thing I couldn't get to any BJJ this weekend, giving it a chance to heal up.

I read on SIDE CONTROL's blog that Lindsey got his black belt. I can't wait to see him and congratulate him.

Thursday and Friday

2011-09-09T22:16:00.001-07:00

An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.
------------

Thursday:

Today's FOD is Frolic Of the Five Animals.

I didn't go to Kung Fu today.

Despite having seemed understanding at first, SK was apparently more upset with me about that than he let on. This morning he text-bombed me and just ripped me up one side and down the other. Like, to the extent that I don't know if he'll ever speak to me again in any context. He accused me of not considering my training important- which feels like a blade in the gut. That's just deliberately trying to be hurtful- he knows that's bull. He also suggested that he may ask CN to take over teaching due to his guilty feelings over his role in my hiatus.

I had never intended this to be a permanent hiatus, I just needed a break- a few weeks maybe, until a couple of interpersonal issues got cleared up and some raw emotions got decently scabbed over- but he was steamed up enough to sock me with several additional bits of heretofore unknown (to me) information that- unless he was exaggerating for effect- means the situation is even worse than I thought, and may well be unfixable.

What a clusterfuck this has become. I wonder if he was just having a really bad morning, and he'll be more rational after a few days..... or if this was a peep behind the filters, into what's truly going on in his mind. I wonder if I'm never going to hear from him again. I did say, "Take some time to think" before his textual version of stomping out and slamming the door. It would be my preference for none of us to burn any bridges here.

I was distraught enough about this that I could not go to BJJ today. It might have been a good distraction, but I think the first time someone swept me, I would have burst into hysterical tears- which behavior isn't really fair of me to inflict on my teammates.

Crap. :(

----------
Friday: 123.5.... getting too thin. I recently went on a salad kick, but I was also putting some dressing on it (many salad dressings have more calories than hot fudge sauce, didja know that?!), and some breaded chicken bits, and too much cheese, so I wasn't expecting a weight dip.

Today's FOD is Sil Lum Tao.

Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Seattle. Lots of warmups, a hip throw (I got to drill with Vince, who obviously knew what he was doing, so he helped me out), then King of the Hill from various start positions. I actually won two of these, which almost never happens. Tweaked my right knee somehow, though. I thought I might have to sit out after that, but I walked it off. I could see the throbbing, jumping muscle right through the thick gi pants, though. We'll see what that feels like in the morning.

The final round found me in bottom half guard with a mammoth white belt crushing me. We must have thrashed there for four minutes. Yes, Kintanon, I remembered my homework about ceasing just lying under there, but I squirmed and wiggled and he was just lying on me with all his weight- I could *NOT* get out. He couldn't get out of the half-guard either, though. Finally the timer sounded.

Got in line to bow out- my heart was pounding so hard, and my stomach was rolling- I had to duck out of the line and run to the bathroom because I thought I was going to throw up. I didn't, but I had to lie there face-down on the tile beside the toilet for a time.

That small-size purple belt invited me to roll, and gave me some advice about tightening up subs before starting to move the main part of the body to finish them.
--------------------
Went to the (non-MA) gym and did formwork. All the mirror forms with their regular-side counterparts (except for Leopard 3- I forgot that one). Couple of bobbles, but mostly looking good. I'm happy with how Five Points In the Mirror is coming along. Touch Bridge In the Mirror as well. Many reps of the opening of Tiger Versus Crane In the Mirror- I'm up to the first set of double Tiger claws, but the second technique of the form (which involves a turn as well as doing something radically different with each limb at once) is a bugger. Sil Lum Tao (the FOD). Snake Versus Five Animals, Kiu Two.

I do so much "micro-fu" formwork in my tiny living room, and at my tiny workspace in the middle of the night, that it was novel to have enough room to do everything (including the jumps and rolls and kicks) and not have to pause and back up several times during each form. It was also really nice to have the mirror wall to work with.

-------------------

Evening no-gi at Sleeper. I was a little late (stuck in traffic) and missed half the warmups.

A few guard passes from various starting positions utilizing a cradle over the neck and thigh. I was drilling with Alecia, and noticing my ever-shrinking weight against her solid twenty-ish pounds heavier and the fact that every once of it is muscle. She made a couple of comments over the course of the night about me putting up more of a fight than before.

Some positional training from various guard positions, then a few free rolls. I got to work with Alecia, Eric, George, and Cindy.

I asked Cindy for some options for when I'm on my back and she's standing. No matter what I try to do, she spins to the outside and sits on me. She does this to me multiple times every time I work with her. She showed me that I need to close up, and/or hook the leg that she's trying to bring around. I have no doubt she'll just come up with another way to sit one me, but at least it'll be a DIFFERENT one.

Yes, I tried to get out from bottom half-guard again, but this time I was severely handicapped my my sore knee- which is now swollen and painful. I sat out the last roll or two because it was getting worse.

Monday night

2011-09-06T07:48:00.000-07:00

When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.
----------------

Today's FOD is Touch Bridge.

Besides Touch Bridge, I worked on all the Mirror forms. No problems with the ones that I feel are pretty much in "ongoing maintenence" phase. As for the "working" ones: Five Points is feeling much better. I worked quite a bit on Touch Bridge In the Mirror, since it is also the FOD, coincidentally. I need to commit to a starting and ending point for the opening and closing techniques- each is a three-repeat which I have been beginning with either hand since it really doesn't matter. So, beginning: Right Dragon claw in front for the regular form, left Dragon claw in front for the Mirror version. It seems to make slightly more sense, since it leaves you with the hand that you're pulling back to the far hip closer to your endpoint. End: start with the left hand on top for the regular version, rt hand on top for the mirror version.

I tried the opening moves to Tiger Versus Crane In the Mirror. Crane is the only Animal style that I don't have a Mirror form for yet. I should have picked Black Crane 1 (it's short), but I just *like* Tiger Versus Crane better.

While dealing with some troublesome life issues lately, I'm finding that I am spending a lot of time and energy in obsessive, negative hamster-wheel-type mental ruts. When I get frustrated and exhausted with these, I find myself trying to shut everything off and just zombie my way through the hour/day/week/month, enduring "killing time" in the hope that things will look up later. My always-poor sleep patterns also become more and more reliant on pharmaceutical help. Increasingly regular pharmaceutical help with increasing dosages. With an eye toward not wasting my life this way, I'm picking through the Julia Cameron books again. This is one of those resources that I usually find helps me get into a more mindful state. I want to stay mindful- and living, not just enduring- but try to keep more focus on things that are not causing me distress.

Sunday

2011-09-05T00:32:00.000-07:00

Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, cause it's going to be empty. -Clint Smith

Today's FOD is Leopard 3.

I didn't go to Kung Fu tonight.

All of the Mirror forms: the normal side first, followed by the Mirror side. They went better than Thursday's run, although I notice that the fine detail in Leopard Fist wants to get sloppy in the Mirror side for some reason. I think part of me feels like I need to do the Mirror forms even faster and smoother than the normal forms in order to PROVE that I am truly proficient. If I'm doing the mirror side slower and more carefully, it feels like it's substandard. Resolve: "slower" is better than "sloppy".

Note that in Leopard Fist, the second double Leopard Fist strikes begin with the vertical forearm to the FRONT. I checked the vid yet again to make sure. I also wanted to see which arm was on top for the actual strikes, but after watching it several times, it is plain that SK is doing a different (more advanced) version of the technique. His arms are crossed and both palms are toward the ground. In the version I've been doing, the arms are one-on-top-of-the-other and the palms are facing each other. Since I haven't been taught the advanced version yet, I'm going to just stop fretting about which arm is *supposed* to be on top and do it with the rearmost arm on top- because that makes more sense to me kinetically in order to get to the endpoint faster.

Five Points Of the Star, both ways. Again, Mirror form is better today, but still needs more work- especially the last 1/3.

After the first Dragon-Rides-The-Wind, note that I keep wanting to orient myself toward the back corner for some reason- need to make sure I travel toward the front corner.

The big arm circles before the fireman's kick have to go counterclockwise in the mirror form. This is surely going to be the last bastion of getting the Mirror form correct. I have to stop and think about it every time.

Also, after the duck-behind-the-knee, I need to fall BACK instead of diving FORWARD... it took me this long to figure out that that is why I keep ending the form facing south instead of north where I started.

After the roll, both the first step and the first knee-up into the jump are RIGHT. Left fist down, then turn AWAY from the fist side. After the second roll, the OUTSIDE leg needs to be the straight one. It's all obvious from there on.

Beginning of Touch Bridge In the Mirror.

Short sticks. I haven't practiced with those in a while. Low four-count sequence, high four-count sequence, low-to-high-to-low. It came back fairly quickly, but gets sloppy when I try to go too fast. I remembered that the rapping last stroke on the high ones ended BENEATH- at the ribs.... but when I tried to do the low ones the same, it didn't work. After some fiddling, I figured out that the rapping last stroke on the low ones ends ABOVE. Sheesh. No wonder the low-to-high-to-low is so tricky. I do like it, though, when I am able to figure out how something goes by figuring out how it makes SENSE to go, instead of just relying on memorization.

I ordered a ten-pack of reeds for my bass clarinet today. I know that's not really training, but I'm counting anything spiritual as training. Besides, it's good BREATHING training- no BJJ artist could argue with that.

Friday

2011-09-04T00:13:00.000-07:00

The key to pursuing excellence is to embrace an organic, long-term learning process, and not to live in a shell of static, safe mediocrity. The hermit crab is a colorful example of a creature that lives by this aspect of the growth process (albeit without our psychological baggage). As the crab gets bigger, it needs to find a more spacious shell. So the slow, lumbering creature goes on a quest for a new home. If an appropriate new shell is not found quickly, a terribly delicate moment of truth arises. A soft creature that is used to the protection of built-in armor must now go out into the world, exposed to predators in all its mushy vulnerability. That learning phase in between shells is where our growth can spring from. Someone stuck with an entity theory of intelligence is like an anorexic hermit crab, starving itself so that it doesn’t grow to have to find a new shell. Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”

Friday's FOD was the long Tai Chi open-hands form. I actually groaned when I pulled the stone out of the bowl. I am officially sick of this form for the time being. Saturday's FOD: the Chen Jian form.

Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Seattle. Prof. Carlos seemed to be bent on keeping our pulses up; lots of running, fast double and single leg drills, shoulder throws. JB had to stop a few times because she was on the verge of either passing out or puking.
Rolls with JB and Marc.

Friday evening BJJ at Sleeper. Same whizzer and back-of-the-neck grip we've been doing for 2 weeks; this time to a triangle. If they don't tap to the triangle, you can underhook the thigh to create more of an angle (note that you have to "follow the fingers"…. I was wanting to go to the wrong side a few times). One you have that thigh, you can also flip the person over to get one of a few different types of armbars.

Although triangles remain something that I just don't feel very comfortable with, I was appreciating how much easier it was to set one up and adjust it on someone of Cindy's size than on most people I work with. Maybe if I had a chance to drill these enough on a small person, I could try for them in comps (against other small people) even if they don't seem very realistic on a day to day basis (on huge men).

We also did that same initial setup and had the opponent pull the arm out- whereupon we switched to an arm drag and take-the-back. I always seem to have a little trouble getting out from under with acceptable speed and dexterity. Once out, though, I can get on the back and gets hooks in very quickly ("skipping about 8 steps").

Spars with Cindy and George. Cindy let me get an armbar on her, and she hardly ever lets me tap her out, so I must have been doing okay on that one. I really need to figure out what do do when I'm sitting and she's standing, though- I can grab an ankle and put a foot on her hip, but I can't seem to get an x-guard, and she won't let me get the other ankle or hip- I can't seem to do anything useful before she spins and then just sits on me. George *almost* let me get an RNC, too… I was sure I had him (I even had to check once to make sure he wasn't out), I still don't know how he escaped.

We talked a little about my tournament "energy drain" phenomenon, and she agrees with Lindsey that it's probably a mental thing.

This is the weird side, right?

2011-09-01T22:49:00.000-07:00

To achieve an elite standard of personal performance usually requires a fair amount of natural ability, motivation and commitment. It does not follow that an elite martial artist also has the ability to pass those skills on to others at all levels. IN fact, the opposite is usually true. To become an elite performer usually means that the student has natural ability and therefore learns skills quickly and easily. A great degree of self-motivation and commitment is also required and such performers generally find little difficulty in applying themselves to the rigors of training, grading and competition. Since very few students achieve such high levels of performance, too often a coach does not understand the needs of these "lesser mortals" who are in fact the majority. When one looks at specific groups such as junior, female, male, elderly, competitive, aggressive, shy, introverted, or combinations of these, many martial arts coaches in the past have been- to say the least- underprepared. Tony Gummerson, "Teaching Martial Arts"

Today's FOD is the Chen Dao form. I went back and corrected an additional small error that I knew was in the transcription.

I did get a walk today, albeit not a particularly strenuous one. I skipped BJJ this morning, partly just because I was being lazy and partly because I assumed I'd be going to BJJ tonight. Then I found out that the reason I have been skipping Kung Fu was not going to apply to tonight's class, so I could go. Happy I was. I appreciate it even more now that access is limited.

Starting with some hand strike drills, specifying that we start with a defensive move followed up by an offensive one.

Then we were asked to come up with a short opening sequence that we might use for a first attack. We spend a lot of time practicing things that are defensive (first) and assuming the other guy is making the first attack, so this was a little different mindset.

I chose a Wing Chun guard with the left hand on top. My idea was that I'd hope the guy would be watching my top hand. My right (dominant) hand Mantis-gripped his right wrist while I stepped in, turned his corner, Yanked him forward and downward with the Mantis grip, and my left hand circled UNDER our joined arms to palm-heel him the side ribs. I liked it. If I was trying to surprise a random person, I would use Mantis- because it's just WEIRD. Few people are going to expect you to grab them and pull them into your strike. Once I tunred the corner, he couldn't get me with his other hand. The palm-heel was also quite hidden from view, and I liked the way it felt circling down and under- very natural, and I got good power on the strike.

It was amusing/interesting to see that- working independantly and in pairs- everyone in the class had chosen slightly different variations of the same thing: Bridge one arm, turn the corner on the same side, and strike.

Individual forms. I ran through all my mirror forms (with the exception of Five Points, which is still too rough). Then I did each form normally, followed immediately by its mirror counterpart. I bobbled a few things, just because my brain was a bit confused by having to switch gears like that.

Then I worked on Five Points In the Mirror. I haven't worked on it in a long time, and it was very rough at the beginning. Once I got back in the groove, though, it came a bit easier.

I'm not sure why this one snarls my mind so badly- maybe just all the directional changes. I keep having to go back and verify and reverify that I'm turning in the correct directions. Then I have to verify and reverify that I am truly doing the mirror version, and not simply the same techniques on the same side just facing a different direction.

If it's not just all the directional changes that are mixing me up, it may be the fact that- ironically- the material is *TOO* intimately familiar. The other forms, I just have to keep in mind that I'm doing a given technique on "the weird side"... the Tiger stuff, it feels right on both sides, so I keep thinking, "Wait... is this *really* the "weird side?""

I got about three quarters through and thought, "Crap, this is giving me a migraine!" So I just went back and repped the first bit several times over.

After that, I did a couple reps each of Kiu Two and Snake Versus Five Animals. Those two are full of strike sequences that are complex enough that they just really need a lot of frequent reps to stay solid. I think I should probably put an extra stone or two in the FOD bowl for each of those.

A few additional reps of the three trickiest spots in Bung Bo Mirror. Then I was out of time.

I told SK that I am almost finished with all my transcriptions, and he wanted to know what I am going to work on NEXT. I still haven't told him about the Mirror Forms, and I don't want to yet- so I just told him I have a top-secret project!

Got a mop?

2011-08-31T22:09:00.000-07:00

"It's not 'I get a turn and then you get a turn'... it's all my space and it's always my turn" - Greg Hamilton

Today's FOD is the Dance Of Life.

I have continued this week to play around with Bung Bo In the Mirror, Five Animals In the Mirror, Little Red Dragon In the Mirror, Leopard Three In the Mirror. Those four are approaching proficiency. There are only a couple of spots in each one where I have to think about what I'm doing- and even in those spots, It is usually not slowing me down perceptably. Today I also worked on Leopard Fist In the Mirror. I haven't done that one in a while, and was pleased to see that it is actually in pretty good shape. Not as comfortable as these other four, yet, but decent. Soon I need to revisit Five Points Of the Star In the Mirror.

Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Seattle. Prof. Carlos came around shaking hands while I was standing there stretching my arms up; so instead of shaking my hand, he took it and pirouetted around me. "Your turn," So I then pirouetted around him. He is such a goofball.

You are in turtle, opponent side-by side with 2 lapel grips.

1)Grab a handful of pants at his far knee, hip out (That's important), then get full or half guard.

2)Grab a handful of pants at his far knee, Stand up with your NEAR leg, place the shin and hip of your FAR leg beside opponent's leg, sweep. I have seen this sweep before and liked it a lot, but haven't as of yet been able to fully internalize all the correct steps in the correct order.... so I often fumble around trying to do it in live rolling and never succeeding. Hopefully with this latest go-round, it will sink in. Carlos had to come over and correct me because it was taking me too many steps to get situated. ONE to put the near leg up, ONE to get the far leg in position, then sweep. No ditzing around.

Third drill: You are in opponent's guard, he goes for kimura sweep. You press his leg down, swing around him, and get his back. This was also useful because for the bonus practice of setting up the kimura sweep.

I wanted to do some sparring, but Carlos closed out the drill portion of class with one of those wicked cardio-blast thingies (with SPRAWLS!), and it knocked me out.

Evening BJJ at Sleeper. Same setup as the last few classes: closed guard, yank the elbows out, get a whizzer and a back-of-the-neck grip. This time, we did a few more complicated sub options... probably too complicated for me to try to integrate yet, but interesting and fun all the same. We also did some of the chokes where you get the second grip with a handful of the gi at the back of the shoulder. I really like those, so it was great to get a chance to work on them some more. Still having some trouble with the broken finger when it comes to grips, though- especially gi chokes.

Note that Cindy thinks one of the reasons I continue to struggle with triangles is that I might be hipping out too far when I go to get the angle and tighten it up. My leg is so short that when I hip out, the knee starts travelling down the side of the guy's neck. She wants me to try to rotate UNDER the opponent and try to keep the knee on the back of his neck, instead of hipping out too far to the side.

Also note that when I underhook a leg to sweep, it is usually advantageous to just hang onto that leg. For some reason I tend to want to let go as soon as I get the guy over.

Some positional sparring, then free sparring. I got to go a long time with Cindy, which is always educational. I tried to pay attention to when she repeatedly caught me with the same things, and not keep putting myself right back in those same positions repeatedly. I still was doing it to some degree.

At one point I had bottom half guard (surprise surprise) and she was digging her knee into my bladder. Eventually she paused and asked, "Doesn't that hurt?" "Yes." "Then open your half guard!" "Actually I was just thinking that I hope you have a mop in here."

As of tomorrow, I will again be an official student there, which is great. I think I'm going to really like having it in Bellevue.

Cannon Fist

2011-08-30T17:00:00.000-07:00

"I've had 56 students win gunfights in the past 5 years. I also had two students that died because they were unarmed when they were attacked. Carry your f***in' gun." - Tom Givens (Rangemaster)

Today's FOD is Tiger Versus Crane.

Finished Cannon Fist transcription, fixed the directional errors in the Chen Dao transcription, got the bulk of the Jian transcription done.

After finishing the Cannon Fist transcription, I realized that somehow- three quarters of the way through the form- I was facing south when I should have been facing north. It took a long time to track down the error, and then I had to go through that last piece and fix all the directional notations.

Although- once I finish transcribing the straight sword form- I don't ever intend to find myself transcribing forms from scratch again, it is a good lesson to double-check at regular intervals and make sure one is facing the correct direction. Visons of Bugs Bunny saying, "I *KNEW* we should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque...."

+Cannon Fist

(Part 1- the part that is like the short form.)

Begin standing straight facing north. Arms are at sides.

Three medium-sized openings and closings.

Slowly transfer weight to rt foot.

Lift left foot and deliberately step out to left (toe down first) in high horse.

Slowly equalize weight. Pause.

Bring arms up slowly in front ("zombie" pose). Shoulders are relaxed, hands loose and palms facing floor. When hands reach chest level, pause. Then press fingers gently to north.

Let arms gently fall to fronts of thighs. Pause.

Turn torso to northwest. Scoop in front of your groin with right hand, moving it left. Rt hand is floating above it, palm turned towards it, as if you are holding a basketball.

Move the basketball to chest level on your centerline.

Switch the hands so that right is on top (palm down) and left on bottom (palm up). Turn the torso to face northeast. Rt toe turns east. Shift into a front stance facing northeast, rt foot in front. As you turn, the hands pull the basketball across so that it stays on your centerline.

Lift rt knee to stand on left leg. You are facing east with the basketball at your chest. Pause.

Step out with left leg to northwest. Heel down first. As you step, both hands drop to groin and then do a spreading motion "smoothing your skirt" to end at 45 degree angles off your hips. Most of your weight shifts forward onto left foot.

Turn torso to front (north) and pull rt foot to left, then push it out front into a cat stance. Left hand turns palm-up to up at belly button. As foot moves forward, rt hand moves with it to scoop (palm fwd) from rt hip all the way forward and then up the centerline to above brow level. Rt knee comes up with it so that you are standing on left leg.

Left foot stomps down as rt Fist drops firmly into cupped left hand at belly button. Pause. You are now in horse.

Turn torso northwest. Stance shifts so that you are in a shallow lunge with rt leg straight. Left hand remains cupped at belly button. Rt hand (loosely cupped, palm up) reaches toward northwest on an upward diagonal. As this hand reaches, the left palm slides down the forearm to cup elbow. At the apex of the reach, rt palm turns to face northwest. Rt knee comes up so that you are standing on left foot.

Slowly Turn torso northeast, placing rt foot back on the ground and shifting stance so that your lunge transfers to a left-leg-straight one. Rt palm (facing north) travels across at face level with you as you turn. Rt elbow is bent and dropped. Left palm remains cradling elbow.

Turn torso north and settle into horse. Left hand, palm up, drops to cup under belly button. Rt hand turns palm outward (toward northeast) at face level. Rt elbow is still bent and dropped. Pause.

Drop left hand to left hip, then let it float (palm upward, elbow bent and dropped) up to shoulder level, northwesterly. It then turns palm east, pushes past face and meets up with rt hand as your torso turns slightly northeast and your horse stance shifts into a gentle lunge (left leg straight).

Both hands (palms east, elbows bent and dropped) drop from rt shoulder to rt hip.

Turn torso north and shift into horse as hands move to groin level on centerline.

Turn torso northwest and shift into gentle lunge (rt leg straight) as both hands (elbows bent and dropped, palms toward ground and fingers hanging loosely) continue the curve from groin to left shoulder.

Settle weight back on rt foot and pull left foot back so that you are in a narrow cat. Simultaneously, pull both hands (elbows bent and dropped, wrists hanging loose and palms toward you) to your solar plex.

Turn torso northeast. Do not move feet. Turn palms diagonally downward toward floor and push both hands down to your rt hip. Pause.

Turning your torso a bit more to east, form a Tiger's mouth with your left hand and push it overtop of the right hand to reach eastward at hip level (palm down). Then pull it back to cup beneath belly button as torso turns north again. As torso turns north, your rt hand forms a loose Crane's beak (beak down) and lifts up (almost at arm's extension, but elbow remains slightly bent) to northeast. Pause. This sequence comprises "Single Whip".

Turn torso northeast, lifting left knee to stand on rt leg. Step left foot (heel first) out to west and shift into horse, turning torso northwest, then north.

Turn torso northeast and lift left palm to cross rt wrist.

Turn torso slowly north, then keep going to slightly northwest. As you hit north, shift into horse stance. As you are turning, left hand turns palm out to north, fingers eastward, and pulls across face level on centerline. Elbow is bent and dropped.

As your left hand gets to northwest, turn torso back to north and settle into stance. Left hand turns fingers-up and moves just a bit back toward center. Pause. Your arms are extended to either side, just a bit forward of the torso. Elbows bent and dropped. Rt hand is a loose Crane's beak (beak down), left hand is palm facing northeast with fingers up. Pause.

(Note that up until this point, Cannon Fist is identical to the short form. This is where Cannon Fist begins to deviate.)

Draw left foot in to rt foot and then lift left knee to stand on rt foot. Form blade hands. Left is at left thigh (palm in) Rt is at rt cheek (palm in).

Two quick scissoring slashes with blade hands. Left goes to left cheek, rt goes to thigh. Then back again.

Do not put foot down. Turn torso west and step out with left foot to southwest (heel first) in a front stance. Left palm stays at left thigh. Rt blade hand pushes rt-to-left past face as you step.

Rt palm continues the circle down to left knee, then rt knee (wrist flexed, palm down). As it reaches left hip, left palm curves up and pushes across face from left to right.

Left palm continues the circle down to rt knee. As it reaches rt hip, it covers the rt fist, which is coming up from the rt hip in an uppercut. End with rt fist (palm toward you) chin level, left hand (palm in) at rt hip.

Lift rt knee to stand on left leg. Both hands (side by side, palms out) sweep in a circular motion from rt shoulder to end with left palm at left thigh and rt hand continuing circle to end with palm at rt cheek.

One quick scissoring motion. Rt palm goes to rt thigh. left palm goes to left cheek.

Step rt foot out to west in a front stance. Left palm pushes across face left-to-rt and then continues the circle down to rt hip, then rt knee, then left knee. At left knee, it forms a Crane's beak. Rt hand (palm toward you) circles back and around to brush rt cheek, then presses forward to west in a chest-level blade hand strike (thumb toward you, fingers up, palm to south).

Bring left Crane's beak up to meet rt blade hand in front, chest level.

Spread both hands out to sides, chest level, not quite fully extended. Rt hand is now palm out. Pause.

Reach both hands down toward ground in a grabbing motion in front of left knee.

Turn torso northwest. Press left palm hard across centerline to end at rt shoulder (palm facing north). Rt hand is palm-to-ground (wrist bent) at groin.

Turn rt toe as far around to the right toward east as you can. Let the left foot swing around and turn a full circle to your rt to face north again, ending in a cat with rt toe forward. Arms stretch out almost to extension and circle clockwise, opposite each other. Rt hand starts at 1 o'clock, left hand starts at 7 o'clock. When left hand gets to 12 o'clock, let it fall down centerline to end horiz across waist, palm up. When rt hand gets to 6 'oclock, it comes up centerline palm-up with elbow against belly button.

Rt hand continues to move up the centerline to above brow level.

Rt fist drops gently into left cupped hand.

Rt fist goes straight back up centerline to above bow level, rt knee comes up with it so that you are standing on left leg.

Left foot stomps down as rt Fist drops firmly into cupped left hand at belly button. Pause. You are now in horse.

Both hands separate and come out and down in a "smoothing the skirt" motion while rt foot steps to east (heel down first) in a much lower horse stance. As you settle into the stance, hands reach chest height and come in front to centerline to cross at wrists.

Turn torso northwest, shift most of the weight to left foot as stance changes to a lunge (rt leg straight). The crossed wrists stay on your centerline, so it looks like you are pushing them to your left- but they are really just staying with the torso as the torso turns to the left.

Drop rt palm to left thigh (palm facing east) and sweep across to your rt knee. left hand (palm also facing east) pushes from your left to your rt across chest at the same time. Torso turns northeast, stance shifts to a lunge with left leg straight, most of the balance goes rt.

Switch arms. Left hand (palm facing west) drops to rt thigh. Rt hand (palm facing west) is now at rt shoulder.

Reverse the previous motion. Left hand sweeps across to left knee. Rt hand pushes across chest from your rt to your left. Torso turns northwest, stance shifts to a lunge with rt leg straight, most of the weight shifts left.

Place left fist on left hip. Roll rt hand out toward little finger so that palm is out, fist it, and pull it back to rt ear. Shift left hip and shoulder to the north and downward a bit as you pull, opening the chest up.

Remove left hand from hip, fist it, and bring both fists up to your temples like the Donkey Kong gorilla. Your torso is still facing northwest, you are bent over a bit at the waist toward west.

Little hop to the west with rt foot. Bring left foot to cross behind rt. End in a low scissor stance facing south, rt foot in front. Left palm pushes past forehead left-to-rt and continues the circle down to rt shoulder, then rt hip. Ends palm-down at rt hip. Rt first gathers to chest, then circular-backfists chest level overtop of the left forearm.

Unwind legs with a hop and spin to your left to end in a deep horse facing west. As you spin, fisted arms come up in the "Donkey Kong" pose again. As you land, left fist chambers at waist and rt fist punches to gound between your feet.

Turn to northwest in horse, cover with left hand and puch waist level rt fist to northwest.

Step out with rt foot, turning to south and reaching out with rt arm at waist level.

Push left arm out to south at waist level while Pulling rt arm against waist.

Bring bottom of rt elbow (arm is bent so that fist is on chest) sharply around to slap into palm of left hand. The elbow strike should be powered by the turn-and-step.

Complete the turn of the torso to east. Drop left hand to left hip. Rt hand (palm out,elbow bent and dropped) goes to left cheekbone.

One and a half Wave-Hands-Like Clouds: Step out to south with rt foot to make an east-facing horse. Pull both hands across in front of you from your left to your rt.

Step left foot to south behind rt foot to make a scissor. Switch hands so that left hand is now at rt cheek, rt hand is at rt hip. Pull both hands across in front of you from your rt to your left.

Step rt foot out to south in horse again. Switch hands. Pull both hands across in front of you from left to rt. As you complete the pull, bring left foot in beside rt.

One and a half Wave-Hands-Like Clouds the other way: Switch hands so that left hand is at rt cheekbone, rt hand is at rt hip. Step out to north with left foot to make a west-facing horse. Pull both hands across in front of you from your rt to your left.

Step rt foot to north behind left foot to make a scissor. Switch hands so that rt hand is now at left cheek, left hand is at left hip. Pull both hands across in front of you from your left to your rt.

Step left foot out to north in horse again. Switch hands. Pull both hands across in front of you from rt to left. As you complete the pull, bring rt foot in beside left. You end with left hand at left cheekbone and rt hand at rt hip.

Turn to your rt 180 degrees to face west. You are in a cat with rt toe fwd. As you turn, bring both blade-hands over your head and then down in front of chest in a standard "karate guard" pose, with left hand closest to your body.

Step out west with rt foot, immediately bringing left foot up behind it in a quick shuffle-step. Do three of these shuffle-steps total.

Cross left hand overtop of rt wrist in a grabbing motion, then close that hand into a Crane's beak and sweep it around your left hip to end palm-up with the beak pointing behind you. Rt hand remains at chest, palm toward centerline, fingers up and thumb toward you. As you grab, kick left toe out in front and turn to your rt 180 degrees on your rt toe to face east in a cat with rt toe in front.

Three more shuffle-steps, to east.

Turn south and sink into horse. Rt elbow strike chest level as you complete the turn. rt hand is fisted. Left palm presses on top of it to support.

Lift rt knee and Turn to your right to finish northeast in horse. Drop both hands down and then out in a "spreading-your-skirt" motion. When they reach almost horizontal to sides (palms down), they move to centerline (waist level) and meet. Leave left hand out there (palm pressing fwd). Turn torso north and draw rt hand back to rt hip.

Make a fist rt hand and punch waist level northeast. Torso turns northeast again as you strike. Left hand pulls back as you punch, to chamber at waist. Pause.

Lift rt knee and turn 180 degrees to your rt to face south, in horse. Bring both fists to your chest, palms down and knuckles touching elbows out horiz.

As your left foot comes down to complete the turn and stance shift into horse, bring both fists up-and-out and backfist downwards to the sides at chest level. This should be a snappy motion, and not too big- the arms shouldn't move much above the elbows.

Step rt foot to the rt and then step left foot to the rt to end in horse again. You are still facing south. As you step, bring both fists to chest again as before. After the left foot settles, another double-backfist.

Repeat once more, for three total "fireworks".

Lift rt knee and turn 180 degrees to your rt to face north. Do three more "fireworks".

Draw rt forearm to chest and pull rt foot in, then back to west as you lift left toe to make an east-facing cat. left fist guards groin, left fist goes above brow (palm out) in White Crane Spreads Its Wings.

Switch arms in a centrifugal motion to top-fist head level to your left (north) and simultaneously hammerfist hip level to your rt (south). Put your heel down as you strike, for stability.

Little hop to face north in horse. As you hop, bring both arms up in "Donkey Kong" pose so that as you descend, you canpuch downward with rt hand.

Little hop to face south in horse. Ams are still in Donkey Kong position. As you descend, elbow-strike downward with rt elbow.

Cover rt forearm with left hand, then bring left hand (palm down) to rt hip as rt fist punches overtop of it to soutwest (waist level).

"Stirring the Cauldron": Turn torso a bit further west as you draw rt forearm to stomach and then pull rt fist back to rt hip. Left forearm then circles in to be drawn toward stomach and then fist drops to guard groin. Drop into Snake-Creeps-Down: Squat as low as possible on rt leg, left leg straight to west, torso facing southwest. Left fist is still guarding groin, rt fist (palm out) is above brow in a ward-off.

Stand up and step out to west with rt foot, turning body north and reaching out with rt arm at waist level.

Pull rt arm against waist, while reaching out at waist level with left arm.

Palm-heel strike north chest level rt hand. Left hand chambers.

Turn torso east. Place left hand on left hip. Bring rt hand (palm out) up above left temple and let it circle around clockwise to rt temple, down to rt hip. Draw left foot in to rt.

Continue the rt arm circle to left hip, then back up to left temple. Step out to south with left foot, then cross rt foot behind left for a scissor.

Turn torso to north. Place rt hand on rt hip. Now you do *COUNTER*clockwise circles with the left hand instead. Start at rt temple. Step out to east with left foot, then cross rt foot behind left for a scissor.

Continue the counterclockwise arm circle to 12 o'clock. Rt arm comes up centerline to join left at 12 o'clock. Step out to west with left foot, as both hands spread out to the sides above your head.

Pull left knee up to stand on rt leg. Arms circle around-down-and-in to be drawn up to your chest, fisted and palms-up, knuckles touching.

Left foot side kick waist level to west, with double hammerfists to either side at waist level.

Rechamber left foot and set it down with toe pointed as far around to your rt as possible. Rechamber both fists at chest.

Turn torso to south and lift rt knee to stand on left leg.

Rt foot side kick waist level to west, with double hammer fists to either side at waist level.

Rechamber foot but do not set it down. Turn torso northeast. Hands make blades and make a scissoring slash as you complete the turn: Rt goes to the outside of your rt thigh (palm in) Left is at left cheek (palm in).

Set rt foot down to make a northeast-facing horse. Both arms drop and spread ("smoothing out your skirt" motion); when they reach almost horizontal to sides (palms down), they move to centerline (waist level) and meet.

Leave left hand out there (palm pressing fwd). Turn torso north and draw rt hand back to rt hip.

Make a fist rt hand and punch waist level northeast. Torso turns northeast again as you strike. Left hand pulls back as you punch, to chamber at waist. Pause.

Sweep to west with front of left leg: Drop to a squat on the rt thigh, turning hard to your rt 180 degrees to end facing south, left leg circling out straight.

Sweep again, with back of rt leg: Transfer weight so that you are squatting on left thigh, then turn hard to your rt to end facing north, rt leg circling out straight.

Stand up and turn to southwest in horse. Cover punch with left hand, punch to southwest rt fist waist level.

Face west. Do two "tug and toss" motions: Lift rt knee to stand on left leg while you reach up with both hands (left on top) and make a grabbing motion to northwest above your left temple as if siezing a rope. Stomp rt foot down as you tug your fisted hands to your rt hip. Then lift left knee halfway and stomp it back down again as you bring your fisted hands out from the hip a a bit in a curve and "throw" the rope diagonally off your left shoulder as if tossing it back where you got it. This is a forceful motion.

"Tug and toss" in the opposite direction to south: Lift left knee to stand on rt leg while you reach up with both hands (rt on top) and make a grabbing motion to south above your rt temple as if siezing a rope. Stomp left foot down as you tug your fisted hands to your left hip. Then lift rt knee halfway and stomp it back down again as you bring your fisted hands out from the hip a a bit in a curve and "throw" the rope diagonally off your rt shoulder as if tossing it back where you got it. This is a forceful motion.

Turn to your rt, torso to south, and set left foot down to make a south-facing horse. Both arms drop and spread ("smoothing out your skirt" motion); when they reach almost horizontal to sides (palms down), they move to centerline (waist level) and meet.

Leave left hand out there (palm pressing fwd). Turn torso southeast and draw rt hand back to rt hip.

Make a fist rt hand and punch waist level south. Torso turns south again as you strike. Left hand pulls back as you punch, to chamber at waist. Pause.

Left hand turns palm-up at belly button. Rt hand moves forward to scoop (palm fwd) from rt hip all the way forward and then up the centerline to above brow level. Rt knee comes up with it so that you are standing on left leg.

Left foot stomps down as rt Fist drops firmly into cupped left hand at belly button. Pause. You are now in horse.

Chamber left hand at waist. Rt fist swings down to hammerfist to east, thigh level.

Turn torso east and step out with left foot to make a front stance. Backfist waist level to north with left hand as you step out. Chamber rt hand.

Step east with rt foot to make a front stance. Chamber left hand, forward punch to east chest level with rt fist.

Step east with left foot to make a front stance. 3 quick forward punches to east chest level, left-rt-left. Chamber the hand not punching.

Two "tug, twirl and toss" motions: Lift rt knee to stand on left leg while you reach up with both hands (left on top) and make a grabbing motion to east above your left temple as if siezing a rope. Stomp rt foot down and then skip a full circle to your rt as you tug your fisted hands to your rt hip. Then lift left knee halfway and stomp it back down again as you bring your fisted hands out from the hip a a bit in a curve and "throw" the rope diagonally off your left shoulder as if tossing it back where you got it. This is a forceful motion.

"Tug and toss" in the opposite direction to west: Lift left knee to stand on rt leg while you reach up with both hands (rt on top) and make a grabbing motion to west above your rt temple as if siezing a rope. Stomp left foot down and then skip a full circle to your left as you tug your fisted hands to your left hip. Then lift rt knee halfway and stomp it back down again as you bring your fisted hands out from the hip a a bit in a curve and "throw" the rope diagonally off your rt shoulder as if tossing it back where you got it. This is a forceful motion.

Step west with rt foot, dragging left foot over a bit with it in a shuffle-step. Torso remains facing north. As you step, bring rt elbow up to strike forward to south at chest level (forearm horiz. at shoulders) and slap it with left palm.

Step west with rt foot, dragging left foot over a bit with it in a shuffle-step. Both forearms are held horiz across chest (rt on top) in "Jeannie" pose. As you step, jab both elbows out to the sides. This is a small but forceful motion.

Step west with rt foot, dragging left foot over a bit with it in a shuffle-step. As you step, place left palm on top of rt fist and jab to your rt (west) with the elbow (chest level).

Step west with rt foot, then cross left foot in front for a scissor, then another step with rt foot so that you are in horse. You are still facing north. Arms extend and circle opposite each other, out-up-and-in. Left starts are 9 o'clock (clockwise) and rt starts at 3 o'clock (counterclockwise). Left hand ends chambered at waist, rt finishes in a hammerfist to your rt (west) at thigh level.

Turn rt toe as far to the right as possible. Turn to your rt and bring both hands up to chest level (palms out). Swing left foot around and turn an entire circle to face south again. End in a front stance with left foot fwd. You are facing north. Fisted hands (palms down, knuckles touching) are at chest. Throw elbows forward at chest level to north. This is a small but forceful motion.

Turn torso to west and bring both hands (palms out) up to chest level. Drop hands to rt hip, Then turn torso to north again.

Turn left toe east. Rt hand remains at rt hip (palm toward ground) while left hand continues the circle. Hands do a spreading motion "smoothing your skirt" to end at 45 degree angles off your hips. Pull rt foot to left, then push it out front into a cat stance. Left hand turns palm-up to cup at belly button. As foot moves forward, rt hand moves with it to scoop (palm fwd) from rt hip all the way forward and then up the centerline to above brow level.

Rt fist drops gently into left cupped hand.

Rt fist goes straight back up centerline to above brow level, rt knee comes up with it so that you are standing on left leg.

Left foot stomps down as rt Fist drops firmly into cupped left hand at belly button. Pause. You are now in horse.

Drop both arms in a "smoothing the skirt" motion. As arms come out to the sides horizontally, they move to the front (palm down) and are pulled in to the belly side by side. Press palms to floor at groin, wrists bent 90 degrees.

Step left foot in to stand straight.

Three medium-sized openings and closings.

Salute.

Monday

2011-08-29T16:57:00.001-07:00

If you sometimes feel a little inferior... Always remember that YOU were once the

fastest and most victorious little sperm out of millions.

Monday's FOD is Spear Hand. Sunday's was Catherine Dao.

I didn't go to Kung Fu again Sunday. I did, however, turn down a Sunday evening workshift for September... which tells me that at least some part of me is hoping to be back before too long.

Worked some more on Bung Bo Kuen In the Mirror; a little Five Animals In the Mirror. Got a lot of the Cannon Fist transcription done; there are just the three stumbly bits that I need to scour the vid on. Today I started the transcription of the Jian form.

Hope to get to BJJ tomorrow evening.... These 5am workdays, by the time I get home at 4:30 in the afternoon, I just have no gas left and don't feel like doing anything but falling into bed early. Tomorrow will be my 5th one in a row. Things may be looking up in that regard, though. It's looking more and more hopeful that I may score a full-time position on the midnight shift. It would be a more regular schedule- less shift-hopping at all hours of the day and night- and health insurance (which would be really really nice).

My diet's been sloppy lately, and that combined with infrequent training had me up to 128 this morning.

I like this picture. The three folks lurking right in the front row are Prof. Carlos (hollering, as usual), Rodrigo, and Miriam.

Friday

2011-08-27T17:43:00.000-07:00

Friday's FOD was Cannon Fist, so I started transcribing it, it being one of the only two forms I have yet to transcribe. I had to stop after a while, though, because I ran into one area where it seemed to switch direction a few too many times. I want to review the vid before I go further. Once I'm facing the wrong direction, all the ensuing directional cues in the transcription will be messed up. That's what happened in the Chen Dao form (I still have yet to go back and clean that one up after discovering that I inserted a half-turn too many about a third of the way through).

Feeling preoccupied with Bung Bo Kuen In the Mirror. The tricky arm sequence right after the knee slap- I have practiced that a lot, and it is coming smoother. The section after that, when I ventured into trying it, is a train wreck. The first part of the form is feeling pretty good off the "wrong" side, though. I never would have thought I'd be this comfortable with Bung Bo Kuen even off the RIGHT side.

Friday evening no-gi at Cindy's. You really notice the extra mat space when it comes time for warm-ups, especially the Dead Bugs.

Triangles and armbars from guard. I am getting more comfortable with the techniques (at least as long as I'm not trying to work on my retarded side), but I still feel very tentative about them. There are so many places in the sequence where it just feels like the guy ought to be able to power out. I spend so much time having guys power out of everything I'm trying to do; and it makes me afraid to try (or feeling like I might as well not bother to try). I kept stopping and asking SK, "Can you get your arm out of there? Really? Try to sit up. Are you sure you can't get out of that?"

Spars with him, Cindy, and George. I tapped SK out and was really excited about it. I can't remember the last time I tapped him out. Although, to be fair, he had just finished getting stomped by both George and Cindy in succession, so he was pretty exhausted.

Saturday's FOD is Wood Monkey.

Meeeeeeeeeeeelting

2011-08-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

Never forget that self defense is about not being there, using awareness, avoidance, and de-escalation to eliminate the need to fight. Fighting is what you do when you’ve totally screwed up your self defense. Lawrence Kane and Kris Wilder, The Little Black Book Of Violence

Today's FOD is Bung Bo Kuen. Yesterday's was the Southern mantis Long Form fragment.

I didn't go to Kung Fu tonight.

I did end up telling SK that I needed to skip some classes, and why, although I had seriously considered just saying that I had to be at work. I hope this doesn't turn out to be a long break- or a permanent one- but if it does, sooner or later I'd have to admit the truth, so might as well be up front. To my relief, if he was mad or disappointed, he hid it well. I had him take his bo and Nemesis' out of my car where they usually live between classes, so they'd have them for Sundays. I'm not happy about this, but I think it was the best of a poor set of choices.

Instead, I went to evening BJJ at Gracie Bellevue.

North-south escapes, then escape from top half guard. A little positional sparring starting from north-south.

I skipped sparring because it was hot enough to bake a chicken in the gym, and I just have no energy in that kind of heat, especially wearing a heavy coat. I was making my classmates laugh by stage-whispering, "I'm meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeltingggggg!" in the line.

Tai Chi Long Open-Hands form

2011-08-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

+Tai Chi Long Empty-Hands Form

(Part 1- the part that is like the short form.)

Begin standing straight facing north. Arms are at sides.

Three medium-sized openings and closings.

Slowly transfer weight to rt foot.

Lift left foot and deliberately step out to left (toe down first) in high horse.

Slowly equalize weight. Pause.

Bring arms up slowly in front ("zombie" pose). Shoulders are relaxed, hands loose and palms facing floor. When hands reach chest level, pause. Then press fingers gently to north.

Let arms gently fall to fronts of thighs. Pause.

Turn torso to northwest. Scoop in front of your groin with right hand, moving it left. Rt hand is floating above it, palm turned towards it, as if you are holding a basketball.

Move the basketball to chest level on your centerline.

Switch the hands so that right is on top (palm down) and left on bottom (palm up). Turn the torso to face northeast. Rt toe turns east. Shift into a front stance facing northeast, rt foot in front. As you turn, the hands pull the basketball across so that it stays on your centerline.

Lift rt knee to stand on left leg. You are facing east with the basketball at your chest. Pause.

Step out with left leg to northwest. Heel down first. As you step, both hands drop to groin and then do a spreading motion "smoothing your skirt" to end at 45 degree angles off your hips. Most of your weight shifts forward onto left foot.

Turn torso to front (north) and pull rt foot to left, then push it out front into a cat stance. Left hand turns palm-up to up at belly button. As foot moves forward, rt hand moves with it to scoop (palm fwd) from rt hip all the way forward and then up the centerline to above brow level.

Rt fist drops gently into left cupped hand.

Rt fist goes straight back up centerline to above bow level, rt knee comes up with it so that you are standing on left leg.

Left foot stomps down as rt Fist drops firmly into cupped left hand at belly button. Pause. You are now in horse. (This sequence comprises "Golden Warrior Pounds the Mortar".)

Turn torso northwest. Stance shifts so that you are in a shallow lunge with rt leg straight. Left hand remains cupped at belly button. Rt hand (loosely cupped, palm up) reaches toward northwest on an upward diagonal. As this hand reaches, the left palm slides down the forearm to cup elbow. At the apex of the reach, rt palm turns to face northwest. Rt knee comes up so that you are standing on left foot.

Slowly Turn torso northeast, placing rt foot back on the ground and shifting stance so that your lunge transfers to a left-leg-straight one. Rt palm (facing north) travels across at face level with you as you turn. Rt elbow is bent and dropped. Left palm remains cradling elbow.

Turn torso north and settle into horse. Left hand, palm up, drops to cup under belly button. Rt hand turns palm outward (toward northeast) at face level. Rt elbow is still bent and dropped. Pause.

Drop left hand to left hip, then let it float (palm upward, elbow bent and dropped) up to shoulder level, northwesterly. It then turns palm east, pushes past face and meets up with rt hand as your torso turns slightly northeast and your horse stance shifts into a gentle lunge (left leg straight).

Both hands (palms east, elbows bent and dropped) drop from rt shoulder to rt hip.

Turn torso north and shift into horse as hands move to groin level on centerline.

Turn torso northwest and shift into gentle lunge (rt leg straight) as both hands (elbows bent and dropped, palms toward ground and fingers hanging loosely) continue the curve from groin to left shoulder.

Settle weight back on rt foot and pull left foot back so that you are in a narrow cat. Simultaneously, pull both hands (elbows bent and dropped, wrists hanging loose and palms toward you) to your solar plex.

Turn torso northeast. Do not move feet. Turn palms diagonally downward toward floor and push both hands down to your rt hip. Pause.

Turning your torso a bit more to east, form a Tiger's mouth with your left hand and push it overtop of the right hand to reach eastward at hip level (palm down). Then pull it back to cup beneath belly button as torso turns north again. As torso turns north, your rt hand forms a loose Crane's beak (beak down) and lifts up (almost at arm's extension, but elbow remains slightly bent) to northeast. Pause. This sequence comprises "Single Whip".

Turn torso northeast, lifting left knee to stand on rt leg. Step left foot (heel first) out to west and shift into horse, turning torso northwest, then north.

Turn torso northeast and lift left palm to cross rt wrist.

Turn torso slowly north, then keep going to slightly northwest. As you hit north, shift into horse stance. As you are turning, left hand turns palm out to north, fingers eastward, and pulls across face level on centerline. Elbow is bent and dropped.

As your left hand gets to northwest, turn torso back to north and settle into stance. Left hand turns fingers-up and moves just a bit back toward center. Pause. Your arms are extended to either side, just a bit forward of the torso. Elbows bent and dropped. Rt hand is a loose Crane's beak (beak down), left hand is palm facing northeast with fingers up. Pause.

(Note that up until this point, the long form is identical to the short form. This is where the long form begins to deviate.)
(Part 2)

Drop rt hand to groin, continue the circle around till it is beside the left hand (palms out, fingers up, thumbs facing each other).

Pull both hands to your right till the reach the right shoulder. Drop them both down to rt hip.

Turn left toe west. As your hands reach the rt hip, you turn body west and shift into a front stance (left foot fwd). Rt hand remains at rt hip (palm toward ground) while left hand continues the circle. Hands do a spreading motion "smoothing your skirt" to end at 45 degree angles off your hips. Pull rt foot to left, then push it out front into a cat stance. Left hand turns palm-up to cup at belly button. As foot moves forward, rt hand moves with it to scoop (palm fwd) from rt hip all the way forward and then up the centerline to above brow level.

Rt fist drops gently into left cupped hand.

Rt fist goes straight back up centerline to above bow level, rt knee comes up with it so that you are standing on left leg.

Left foot stomps down as rt Fist drops firmly into cupped left hand at belly button. Pause. You are now in horse.

Turn torso southwest, bringing rt hand (palm in) up to left shoulder while left hand slides along forearm to elbow. Weight shifts slightly left.

Turn torso west, equalizing weight again. Rt hand turns palm-out and circles from left shoulder to pass in front of face from your left to your rt. Left hand (palm down) is dropping to your left thigh. The two arms circle clockwise, opposite each other, till they reach centerline (Left at 12 o'clock). Then torso turns southwest again as left palm closes to your rt shoulder and rt arm moves to horiz across belly (rt hand at left elbow).

Step back with rt foot, you are now in cat stance with rt toe fwd, facing west. Arms split. Left drops to rt hip and then brushes left thigh before ending just outside of rt knee. Rt hand goes palm-out at left shoulder, then arcs over head to end above rt temple, palm out. Pause.

Turn torso slightly southwest as rt palm (facing south) passes in front of face, curves down to left hip, then moves to rt hip. Then turn torso slightly northwest as left palm (facing north) moves from left hip to curve slightly out and move across face, curving down to also end at right hip.

As left hand passes across face, turn rt toe and torso to northwest. As left hand reaches rt hip, bring rt palm up to cover right ear, and lift left knee up to stand on rt leg. Pause.

Step out west with left foot (heel first) into a fairly deep fwd stance facing west. As you step and your weight shifts to the left foot, left hand (fingers down and palm south) sweeps from rt hip to cover groin and sweep around left thigh to form Crane's beak at outside of left thigh. Simultanously, rt hand pushes forward in a blade hand strike forward to west at chin level. Thumb toward you, fingers up.

Bring left Crane's beak up to meet rt blade hand in front, chest level.

Spread both hands out to sides, chest level, not quite fully extended. Rt hand is now palm out. Pause.

Bring both hands down to meet and grab in front of groin. After you grab, Shift back into a cat stance with left toe in front, weight on rt leg. Bring both hands up to chest level and push them out to west in double blade hand strikes. Thumbs toward you, fingers up, palms facing centerline. Rt is in front of left. Pause.

Lift left knee up to stand on rt leg. Drop both hands to rt hip, then bring them both up to rt ear (palms together).

Step left foot into fwd stance west, both hands move from ear to blade-hand strike chin level to west (palms to centerline, fingers up). Left hand is in front, almost to extention, rt is behind it with elbow bent. The step fwd (weight shift) helps power the strike.

Step rt foot into fwd stance west, dropping left hand to left hip. Rt hand extends for a second blade-hand strike, powered partially by the step and weight shift.

Step left foot fwd into front stance west. Rt hand drops to waist, then comes up to cover rt ear with rt palm. Left hand brushes across face from your left to your right, then drops (fingers down and palm south) and sweeps from rt hip to cover groin, then sweep around left thigh to form Crane's beak at outside of left thigh. Simultanously, rt hand pushes forward in a blade hand strike forward to west at chin level. Thumb toward you, fingers up.

Bring left Crane's beak up to meet rt blade hand in front, chest level.

Spread both hands out to sides, chest level, not quite fully extended. Rt hand is now palm out. Pause.

Bring both hands down to meet and grab in front of groin. After you grab, Shift back into a cat stance with left toe in front, weight on rt leg. Bring both hands up to chest level and push them out to west in double blade hand strikes. Thumbs toward you, fingers up, palms facing centerline. Rt is in front of left. Pause.

Lift left knee up to stand on rt leg. Drop both hands to rt hip, then bring them both up to rt ear (palms together).

Step left foot into fwd stance west, both hands move from ear to blade-hand strike chin level to west (palms to centerline, fingers up). Left hand is in front, almost to extention, rt is behind it with elbow bent. The step fwd (weight shift) helps power the strike.

Step rt foot into fwd stance west, dropping left hand to left hip. Rt hand extends for a second blade-hand strike, powered partially by the step and weight shift.

Bring left foot fwd and turn northwest, dropping into horse stance. Bring rt fist to solar plex, left hand starts at left hip and swing out at extention in a big circle to end with palm down, covering rt fist.

Both arms drop and spread ("smoothing out your skirt" motion); when they reach almost horizontal to sides (palms down), they move to centerline (waist level) and meet.

Leave left hand out there (palm pressing fwd). Turn torso northeast and draw rt hand back to rt hip.

Make a fist rt hand and punch waist level northwest. Torso turns northwest again as you strike. Left hand pulls back as you punch, to chamber at waist. Pause.

Turn torso to your left as you bring left hand to rt shoulder (palm in) and weight shifts to left foot. Rt fist drops to groin, then makes a large circle clockwise almost at arm extention until it gets back to rt thigh. As the rt hand gets to 12 o'clocK, left hand drops to six o'clock and circles opposite. Weight equalizes again and torso turns north. When left hand reaches noon and rt hand is at 6 o'clock, left hand drops straight down centerline and cups below belly button. Pull rt foot to left, then push it out front into a cat stance. As foot moves forward, rt hand moves with it to scoop (palm fwd) from rt hip all the way forward and then up the centerline to above brow level.

Rt fist drops gently into left cupped hand.

Rt fist goes straight back up centerline to above bow level, rt knee comes up with it so that you are standing on left leg.

Left foot stomps down as rt Fist drops firmly into cupped left hand at belly button. Pause. You are now in horse.

Both hands separate and come out and down in a "smoothing the skirt" motion while rt foot steps to east (heel down first) in a much lower horse stance. As you settle into the stance, hands reach chest height and come in front to centerline to cross at wrists.

Turn torso northwest, shift most of the weight to left foot as stance changes to a lunge (rt leg straight). The crossed wrists stay on your centerline, so it looks like you are pushing them to your left- but they are really just staying with the torso as the torso turns to the left.

Drop rt palm to left thigh (palm facing east) and sweep across to your rt knee. left hand (palm also facing east) pushes from your left to your rt across chest at the same time. Torso turns northeast, stance shifts to a lunge with left leg straight, most of the balance goes rt.

Switch arms. Left hand (palm facing west) drops to rt thigh. Rt hand (palm facing west) is now at rt shoulder.

Reverse the previous motion. Left hand sweeps across to left knee. Rt hand pushes across chest from your rt to your left. Torso turns northwest, stance shifts to a lunge with rt leg straight, most of the weight shifts left.

Place left fist on left hip. Roll rt hand out toward little finger so that palm is out, fist it, and pull it back to rt ear. Shift left hip and shoulder to the north and downward a bit as you pull, opening the chest up.

Turn torso north and shift back into horse stance. Drop rt forearm northeast for backfist to ground.

Turn torso northeast and place left heel of hand (fingers up) on rt inside-of-elbow. Push with left hand and pull with rt. Rt hand chambers.

Chamber left fist and punch waist level northeast rt fist. Torso turns almost all the way north again with the punch.

Use both hands to catch an imaginary basketball chest level from northwest.

Turn left to west in a cat with rt toe fwd. As you turn, bring the energy ball curving down to groin and then up to hold it in front of your chest as if you were about to shoot for a basket.

Step forward to west with rt foot, then bring left toe fwd for a cat stance. With palms out, fingers up and thumbs side by side, push the ball out to almost arm extension chest level as you step.

Turn rt hand palm up, turn torso to southwest, and drop left hand to left thigh. Continue the circle all the way around almost at arm extension till left arm reaches 12 o'clock and torso turns west again.

Fist the left hand, and bring the elbow down to hover just above rt palm. Left forearm is vertical.

Turn torso northwest, drop rt hand to rt thigh, continuing the curve up to chest level. Then position palm facing west (wrist bent 90 degrees, fingers up) and push past chest to west. As you reach chest, left palm brushes rt palm and then pulls back to chamber. As you push and pull, the left foot retreats diagonally backward (to southeast). Weight shifts back ato this foot, rt toe comes up for a cat stance. This technique comprises "Repulse the Monkey".

Repulse 4 monkeys total, alternating sides.

On the fifth rep, the footwork is the same, but both hands (palms out, fingers up) reach up to almost arm extention above rt temple and pull diagonally down and across to left hip. Torso turns slightly southwest.

Bring rt foot straight back to east and lift left toe for a west-facing cat stance. Left arm folds inward at elbow and left palm goes to rt inside-of-elbow. Torso turns west. Arms split. Left drops to rt hip and then brushes left thigh before ending just outside of rt knee. Rt hand goes palm-out at left
shoulder, then arcs over head to end above rt temple, palm out. Pause.

Turn torso slightly southwest as rt palm (facing south) passes in front of face, curves down to left hip, then moves to rt hip. Then turn torso slightly northwest as left palm (facing north) moves from left hip to curve slightly out and move across face, curving down to also end at right hip.

As left hand passes across face, turn rt toe and torso to northwest. As left hand reaches rt hip, bring rt palm up to cover right ear, and lift left knee up to stand on rt leg. Pause.

Step out west with left foot (heel first) into a fairly deep fwd stance facing west. As you step and your weight shifts to the left foot, left hand (fingers down and palm south) sweeps from rt hip to cover groin and sweep around left thigh to form Crane's beak at outside of left thigh. Simultanously, rt hand pushes forward in a blade hand strike forward to west at chin level. Thumb toward you, fingers up.

Bring left Crane's beak up to meet rt blade hand in front, chest level.

Spread both hands out to sides, chest level, not quite fully extended. Rt hand is now palm out. Pause.

Drop rt hand to rt knee, curve it down and around till it is above left hand. Shift weight back onto rt foot and lift left toe to make a cat stance. Pull both hands across from your left to your right, chest level. (Both palms facing north).

Switch hands so that left is on top. Turn both palms south. Pull both hands across from your rt to your left, chest level.

Switch hands so that rt is on top. Turn both palms north. Pull both hands across from your left to your rt, chest level.

Lift left knee so that you are standing on rt foot. Rt arm at side, wrist 90 degree angle, palm to floor (fingers to front). Left arm bent with elbow glued to ribs, palm up at rt shoulder, fingers forward.

Turn rt hand palm-up and bring to rt shoulder, then stab the palm-up spear hand to west shoulder level. Turn left hand palm up, form into a Crane's beak, and drop to left hip (beak pointing behind you to east). Step into a west-facing fwd stance with left foot fwd. The spear hand should strike as you step.

Lift rt foot and turn to your rt, setting down in horse facing southeast. Fist rt hand. Bring left hand curving down, out and around to place left palm on top of rt fist (which is vertical in front of chest). As you settle into the horse stance, hands drop and spread in a "smoothing your skirt" motion. When they reach almost horizontal to sides (palms down), they move to centerline (waist level) and meet. Leave left hand out there (palm pressing fwd). Turn torso southwest and draw rt hand back to rt hip.

Make a fist rt hand and punch waist level southeast. Torso turns southeast again as you strike. Left hand pulls back as you punch, to chamber at waist. Pause.

Reach out with both hands (palms toward each other) in front of your rt shoulder to catch an imaginary basketball.

Turn left toe out and turn to your left, stepping in with rt foot to make a narrow cat stance (rt toe fwd) facing northeast. Pull the energy ball to your rt hip, then up and hold in front of chest as you turn.

Small step to northeast with rt foot, followed by small step with left foot. You are still in a cat with rt toe up. Push the energy ball diagonally, with both palms, to floor beyond rt hip.

Turn torso east while you form a Tiger's Mouth with left hand and push it toward east over top of rt hand. Rt hand pulls back slightly as you do this.

Turn torso north as you turn left hand palm up and pull it back to sit just below belly button. Rt hand forms Crane's beak (beak pointing down, wrist kinked upward) and floats up to chest level toward northeast. elbow is bent at not quite 90 degrees, elbow dropped. Pause.

Turn torso northeast, shifting into a gentle lunge (left leg straight) as your left hand floats palm-up to touch your rt wrist.

Turn torso slowly north, then keep going to slightly northwest. As you hit north, shift into horse stance. As you are turning, left hand turns palm out to north, fingers eastward, and pulls across face level on centerline. Elbow is bent and dropped.

As your left hand gets to northwest, turn torso back to north and settle into stance. Left hand turns fingers-up and moves just a bit back toward center. Pause. Your arms are extended to either side, just a bit forward of the torso. Elbows bent and dropped. Rt hand is a loose Crane's beak (beak down), left hand is palm facing northeast with fingers up. Pause.

(Part 3- the kicks section)

Drop rt hand to rt knee, draw across to left knee, then up to sit beside left hand (in front of left shoulder). Drop left hand to waist, palm east.

Draw both hands across body from your left to your right. rt hand is at chest level, palm north. Left hand is at waist level, palm east, fingers down.

When both hands reach rt shoulder line, switch hands. Now rt hand is at waist, palm west. Left hand is at rt shoulder, palm north.

Pull hands across body from your rt to your left. As you do this, step rt foot in to left.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from left to right.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from right to left, stepping left foot out west.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from left to right. Bring rt foot in to left.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from right to left, stepping left foot out west.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from left to right. Bring rt foot in to left.

Step left foot out to west while bringing crossed wrists to brow and then opening the arms out to reflect the feet.

Turn torso west and step rt toe west in a cat stance. Bring rt wrist to cross left wrist in front of throat.

Step rt foot backward to east. Transfer weight to rt foot.

Rock weight fwd onto left foot, then back onto rt. As weight goes rt, pull left foot back to step behind rt, and turn to south. As you turn, rt palm brushes left palm at chest level. Settle into south-facing horse with left hand chambered at waist and right hand palm-out near rt shoulder (elbow bent and dropped).

Rt hand rolls to little-finger side in a wrist release.

Cross left foot in front of rt for a scissor stance and bring left wrist to cross right wrist in front of chest as torso turns southwest and stance drops into scissor.

Rt ball-of-the-foot snap kick to west. Elbows both straighten so that arms are in a "cheerleader" position. Slap kicking foot with rt hand.

Rechamber leg. Set the rt foot down with the toe pointing northwest. Elbows fold again so that you are doing a "Jeannie" pose with arms folded in front of your throat. Your body is now facing north with rt leg crossed in front of left.

Left ball-of-the-foot snap kick west. Elbows both straighten so that arms are in a "cheerleader" position. Slap kicking foot with left hand.

Rechamber leg and turn body south. Touch left toe to ground on the end of straight leg. Hands move in "smoothing the skirt" motion.

Lift left knee up to stand on rt leg. Let hands curve back down and in to meet and pull up centerline to chest, fisted with knuckles touching (palm up)

Side kick left leg to east, waist height. At the same time, double hammerfist to the sides at chest level.

Rechamber the leg but do not set it down. Turn body to east. Set left foot down in a forward stance facing east. Drop both hands to rt hip, then bring them both up to rt ear (palms together). Press the left blade-hand forward at face level to east, little finger first, fingers up, palm to south.

Step rt foot into fwd stance west, dropping left hand to left hip. Rt hand extends for a second blade-hand strike, powered partially by the step and weight shift.

Step left foot fwd into front stance. Left arm circles from 7 0'clock all the way around clockwise. When it reaches 6 o'clock, this arm comes up centerline to ward fisted (palm-out) at brow. Rt arm drops to rt hip, then circles up and around to punch to ground from the shoulder. The punch to the ground is going down at the same time that the warding forearm is going up.

Rock weight back onto rt foot. Switch arms so that left fist is in front of groin and right is warding brow. Elbows are out.

Turn to your rt 180 degrees to face west in a cat with rt toe in front. Switch arms again so that rt fist is in front of groin and left is warding borw, elbows out.

Jumping ball-of-the-foot snap kick to west with rt foot. Slap the kicking leg with rt palm at the apex of the jump.

Land in horse facing west. Pull both hands (palms out) across chest from left shoulder to rt shoulder.

Bring rt fist up from rt hip in an uppercut ending at chest level (palm of fist facing you). Left hand covers the rt fist as it comes up, then ends palm-down at left hip.

Step rt foot to northwest, but with the toe facing north. Turn torso north, dropping into a scissor. Drop both arms in a curtseying pose, then bring them up and around to finish folded across your chest in a "Jeannie" pose.

Ball-of-the-foot snap kick left foot to northwest, then spin 180 to face south before putting the foot down. Elbows both straighten so that arms are in a "cheerleader" position. Slap the kicking foot with left hand. As you finish the turn to south, bring both fists (palm up) to chest with knuckles touching.

Set left foot down and lift rt knee to stand on left foot.

Side kick left leg to east, waist height. At the same time, double hammerfist to the sides at chest level.

Rechamber leg. Do not set foot down. Bring fists back to chest.

Use rt toe to turn your body northwest. Hands make blades and make a scissoring slash as you complete the turn: Rt goes to the outside of your rt thigh (palm in) Left is at left cheek (palm in).

Set left foot down, turn rt toe so that you can sink into horse facing northwest. Bring both hands together at belly and then down-and-out in "smoothing the skirt" motion. When they reach almost horizontal to sides (palms down), they move to centerline (waist level) and meet. Leave left hand out there (palm pressing fwd). Turn torso northeast and draw rt hand back to rt hip.

Make a fist rt hand and punch waist level northwest. Torso turns northwest again as you strike. Left hand pulls back as you punch, to chamber at waist. Pause.

Let straight rt arm drop to rt knee, then to left knee, then continue the circle all the way up, bending at elbow to end warding brow (palm out). Bring up left arm behind it so that wrists are crossed. Step rt foot in front of left to southwest in a scissor.

Step left foot out to southwest and make a front stance. Joined-wrist, almost-extended arms continue the large clockwise circle all the way from 12 to 9 o'clock. Uncross wrists and reach out to southwest with both hands (palms down and fingers limp), chest level and arms almost at extension.

Rock weight back on rt foot for a cat stance, pulling hands (side by side and palm in) almost to solar plex.

Transfer back into the front stance. left forearm is horiz at chest, palm out and fingers west. Rt palm (fingers up) is held just under left hand as if you were pushing something as you shift the stance weight.

Step rt foot in to left in a very narrow cat and drop both hands in a "smoothing the skirt" pose.

As hands come down-out-and-up, turn to the right 180 to face northeast. You are now in a narrow cat with left toe up. Bring both hands up to chest (palms out), and as you settle into the cat, push both palms diagonally at the ground near your rt knee.

bring both hands up to your left shoulder (palms down) and pull them in toward your chest, then divert to push the palms diagonally at the ground again near rt knee.

Turning your torso a bit more to east, form a Tiger's mouth with your left hand and push it overtop of the right hand to reach eastward at hip level (palm down). Then pull it back to cup beneath belly button as torso turns north again. As torso turns north, your rt hand forms a loose Crane's beak (beak down) and lifts up (almost at arm's extension, but elbow remains slightly bent) to northeast. Pause.

Turn torso northeast, lifting left knee to stand on your rt foot. Turn body north and Step west with left foot (heel first). Turn torso northwest, then northeast again as left hand floats up to touch rt wrist. Turn torso north again, then keep going to slightly northwest. Left hand turns palm out to north, fingers eastward, and pulls across face level on centerline. Elbow is bent and dropped.

As your left hand gets to northwest, turn torso back to north and settle into stance. Left hand turns fingers-up and moves just a bit back toward center. Pause. Your arms are extended to either side, just a bit forward of the torso. Elbows bent and dropped. Rt hand is a loose Crane's beak (beak down), left hand is palm facing northeast with fingers up. Pause.

Drop rt hand to rt knee, then bring it to left knee, then up to left shoulder. Left hand drops to left thigh. Transfer weight to rt foot. Turn rt toe east.

Pull both hands (palms facing south) across body from left to right as you sweep left foot out in a crescent step. End facing east in a cat with left toe forward.

Switch hands. Now left is on top and palms are facing north. Pull both hands across body from right to left as you sweep rt foot in an east-moving crescent step. End facing east in a cat with rt toe forward.

Do two more Wave-Hands-Like-Clouds motions, arms only- left to right, then back to left.

Lift rt knee and bring heel of rt hand (palm up) to chin. Chamber left hand.

Step forward with rt foot to east in a forward stance, pushing rt hand forward in a palm-up spear hand chin level to east.

Step forward with left foot to east in a forward stance, chambering rt hand and bringing heel of left hand (palm up) to chin. Push left hand forward in a palm-up spear hand chin level to east.

With both hands, make a grabbing/catching motion in front of your left eye.

Pull both hands to rt hip, rocking weight back on rt foot.

Transfer weight to left foot, Step forward with rt foot and turn body northeast in a hill-climbing stance (left leg straight, weight on rt foot). Both hands continue the circular motion from rt hip, making a throwing motion toward northeast.

Bring both hands to rt hip, then turn northwest and reach out northwest beyond left shoulder with both hands.

Pull left foot in to make a cat with left toe in front. Simultaneously, pull both hands (elbows bent and dropped, wrists hanging loose and palms toward you) to your solar plex.

Turn torso northeast. Do not move feet. Turn palms diagonally downward toward floor and push both hands down to your rt hip. Pause.

Turning your torso a bit more to east, form a Tiger's mouth with your left hand and push it overtop of the right hand to reach eastward at hip level (palm down). Then pull it back to cup beneath belly button as torso turns north again. As torso turns north, your rt hand forms a loose Crane's beak (beak down) and lifts up (almost at arm's extension, but elbow remains slightly bent) to northeast. Pause.

Turn torso northeast, lifting left knee to stand on rt leg. Step left foot (heel first) out to west and shift into horse, turning torso northwest, then north.

Turn torso northeast and lift left palm to cross rt wrist.

Turn torso slowly north, then keep going to slightly northwest. As you hit north, shift into horse stance. As you are turning, left hand turns palm out to north, fingers eastward, and pulls across face level on centerline. Elbow is bent and dropped.

As your left hand gets to northwest, turn torso back to north and settle into stance. Left hand turns fingers-up and moves just a bit back toward center. Pause. Your arms are extended to either side, just a bit forward of the torso. Elbows bent and dropped. Rt hand is a loose Crane's beak (beak down), left hand is palm facing northeast with fingers up. Pause.

Turn east in a cat with rt toe in front. Us an overhead throwing motion, bring both hands into a standard "karate guard" pose at chest (left on top).

Turn both hands palm-up and lift to chest level, while drawing rt knee up to stand on left leg.

Turn both hands palm-down and press back down to waist, while firmly pressing rt foot back to ground slightly ahead of left foot.

Turn both hands palm-up and bring both hands back up to chest, while lifting rt knee to stand on left leg.

Thrust kick waist level rt foot to east, while palm-heel striking rt hand to east chest level (fingers up) and lifting left elbow to left ear, palm up at temple, to ward.

Set left foot down just in front of rt with toe pointed northeast. Draw both hands to chest, palm out.

Palm-heel strike lft hand to east, chest level. Step east with left foot. Turn 360 degrees to the right (this may be done as a step or as a jump). Step east with rt foot. As you begin the turn, bring rt hand above rt temple, palm out. Left hand is at chest level, palm to centerline, thumb toward you. Both elbows are slightly bent. As you turn, the hands follow, keeping their orientations. End in a shallow lunge, rt foot in front and left leg straight, torso facing southeast. Hands are palm-out to east, elbows bent, right hand on top at brow level, left at chin level. Pause.

Pull both arms down to left hip, then up to left shoulder, then back out to the previous pose.

Turn body to northwest, dropping both hands to rt hip. Transfer weight to rt foot. You are now in a narrow cat with left toe up.

Bring both hands up to your left shoulder (palms down) and pull them in toward your chest, then divert to push the palms diagonally at the ground again near rt knee.

Turning your torso a bit more to east, form a Tiger's mouth with your left hand and push it overtop of the right hand to reach eastward at hip level (palm down). Then pull it back to cup beneath belly button as torso turns north again. As torso turns north, your rt hand forms a loose Crane's beak (beak down) and lifts up (almost at arm's extension, but elbow remains slightly bent) to northeast. Pause.

Turn torso northeast, lifting left knee to stand on your rt foot. Turn body north and Step west with left foot (heel first). Turn torso northwest, then northeast again as left hand floats up to touch rt wrist. Turn torso north again, then keep going to slightly northwest. Left hand turns palm out to north, fingers eastward, and pulls across face level on centerline. Elbow is bent and dropped.

As your left hand gets to northwest, turn torso back to north and settle into stance. Left hand turns fingers-up and moves just a bit back toward center. Pause. Your arms are extended to either side, just a bit forward of the torso. Elbows bent and dropped. Rt hand is a loose Crane's beak (beak down), left hand is palm facing northeast with fingers up. Pause.

(Part 4- the Golden Rooster section)

Drop rt hand to rt knee, draw across to left knee, then up to sit beside left hand (in front of left shoulder). Drop left hand to waist, palm east.

Draw both hands across body from your left to your right. rt hand is at chest level, palm north. Left hand is at waist level, palm east, fingers down.

When both hands reach rt shoulder line, switch hands. Now rt hand is at waist, palm west. Left hand is at rt shoulder, palm north.

Pull hands across body from your rt to your left. As you do this, step rt foot BEHIND left in scissor. (Note that thare are three Wave-Hands-Like-Clouds sequences facing north in the this form. This one- the second- is the only one in which you step BEHIND in a scissor step rather than bringing the right foot in beside the left.)

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from left to right.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from right to left, stepping left foot out west.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from left to right. Bring rt foot behind left.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from right to left, stepping left foot out west.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from left to right. Bring rt foot behind left.

Turn torso west and step west with left foot to make a forward stance. Rt hand drops to rt hip. Left hand drops to groin (palm to floor) and then does a small rising block as you turn to end groin level, palm out, fingers north.

Turn rt toe southwest.

Rt leg crescent kicks to west (inside-to-outside). Slap leg with both palms as arms move opposite direction (rt to left).

Immediately drop into a Snake-Creeps-Down pose. Squat all the way to the floor on rt thigh, left leg sticking out straight to west and torso facing north. Right fisted arm is in a ward at rt temple, left fisted hand is guarding groin (elbow turned out).

Stand up in a west-facing forward stance (left foot in front). Rt fist returns to rt hip. Left fist (palm toward you) is held out in front of belly as if you were holding a beach ball against your body.

Stand up straight on left foot, lifting rt knee up. Bring rt hand (palm toward you, fingers up) up between body and left arm and lift it up above head in a "stop" gesture. Hand turns palm-out as it clears the left forearm.

Stomp rt foot to ground, then step out to the rt with it to take a wider stance. Turn rt hand palm-toward-you and drop it to cover the left side of the body. As it passes the left elbow, left hand turns palm-out and lifts above head in "stop" gesture. Rt hand ends at rt hip, cupped. Lift left knee to stand on rt foot. This sequence comprises "Golden Rooster Stands On One Leg".

Do not set the foot down. Turn to look over your rt shoulder.

Turn torso northwest, drop rt hand to rt thigh, continuing the curve up to chest level. Then position palm facing west (wrist bent 90 degrees, fingers up) and push past chest to west. As you reach chest, left palm brushes rt palm and then pulls back to chamber. As you push and pull, the left foot retreats diagonally backward (to southeast). Weight shifts back ato this foot, rt toe comes up for a cat stance. This technique comprises "Repulse the Monkey".

Repulse 4 monkeys total, alternating sides.

On the fifth rep, the footwork is the same, but both hands (palms out, fingers up) reach up to almost arm extention above rt temple and pull diagonally down and across to left hip. Torso turns slightly southwest.

Bring rt foot straight back to east and lift left toe for a west-facing cat stance. Left arm folds inward at elbow and left palm goes to rt inside-of-elbow. Torso turns west. Arms split. Left drops to rt hip and then brushes left thigh before ending just outside of rt knee. Rt hand goes palm-out at left shoulder, then arcs over head to end above rt temple, palm out. Pause.

Turn torso slightly southwest as rt palm (facing south) passes in front of face, curves down to left hip, then moves to rt hip. Then turn torso slightly northwest as left palm (facing north) moves from left hip to curve slightly out and move across face, curving down to also end at right hip.

As left hand passes across face, turn rt toe and torso to northwest. As left hand reaches rt hip, bring rt palm up to cover right ear, and lift left knee up to stand on rt leg. Pause.

Step out west with left foot (heel first) into a fairly deep fwd stance facing west. As you step and your weight shifts to the left foot, left hand (fingers down and palm south) sweeps from rt hip to cover groin and sweep around left thigh to form Crane's beak at outside of left thigh. Simultanously, rt hand pushes forward in a blade hand strike forward to west at chin level. Thumb toward you, fingers up.

Bring left Crane's beak up to meet rt blade hand in front, chest level.

Spread both hands out to sides, chest level, not quite fully extended. Rt hand is now palm out. Pause.

Drop rt hand to rt knee, curve it down and around till it is above left hand. Shift weight back onto rt foot and lift left toe to make a cat stance. Pull both hands across from your left to your right, chest level. (Both palms facing north).

Switch hands so that left is on top. Turn both palms south. Pull both hands across from your rt to your left, chest level.

Switch hands so that rt is on top. Turn both palms north. Pull both hands across from your left to your rt, chest level.

Lift left knee so that you are standing on rt foot. Rt arm at side, wrist 90 degree angle, palm to floor (fingers to front). Left arm bent with elbow glued to ribs, palm up at rt shoulder, fingers forward.

Turn rt hand palm-up and bring to rt shoulder, then stab the palm-up spear hand to west shoulder level. Turn left hand palm up, form into a Crane's beak, and drop to left hip (beak pointing behind you to east). Step into a west-facing fwd stance with left foot fwd. The spear hand should strike as you step.

Lift rt foot and turn to your rt, setting down in horse facing southeast. Fist rt hand. Bring left hand curving down, out and around to place left palm on top of rt fist (which is vertical in front of chest). As you settle into the horse stance, hands drop and spread in a "smoothing your skirt" motion. When they reach almost horizontal to sides (palms down), they move to centerline (waist level) and meet. Leave left hand out there (palm pressing fwd). Turn torso southwest and draw rt hand back to rt hip.

Make a fist rt hand and punch waist level southeast. Torso turns southeast again as you strike. Left hand pulls back as you punch, to chamber at waist. Pause.

Reach out with both hands (palms toward each other) in front of your rt shoulder to catch an imaginary basketball.

Turn left toe out and turn to your left, stepping in with rt foot to make a narrow cat stance (rt toe fwd) facing northeast. Pull the energy ball to your rt hip, then up and hold in front of chest as you turn.

Small step to northeast with rt foot, followed by small step with left foot. You are still in a cat with rt toe up. Push the energy ball diagonally, with both palms, to floor beyond rt hip.

Turn torso east while you form a Tiger's Mouth with left hand and push it toward east over top of rt hand. Rt hand pulls back slightly as you do this.

Turn torso north as you turn left hand palm up and pull it back to sit just below belly button. Rt hand forms Crane's beak (beak pointing down, wrist kinked upward) and floats up to chest level toward northeast. elbow is bent at not quite 90 degrees, elbow dropped. Pause.

Turn torso northeast, shifting into a gentle lunge (left leg straight) as your left hand floats palm-up to touch your rt wrist.

Turn torso slowly north, then keep going to slightly northwest. As you hit north, shift into horse stance. As you are turning, left hand turns palm out to north, fingers eastward, and pulls across face level on centerline. Elbow is bent and dropped.

As your left hand gets to northwest, turn torso back to north and settle into stance. Left hand turns fingers-up and moves just a bit back toward center. Pause. Your arms are extended to either side, just a bit forward of the torso. Elbows bent and dropped. Rt hand is a loose Crane's beak (beak down), left hand is palm facing northeast with fingers up. Pause.

(Part 5- the "Close left, open right" section)

Drop rt hand to rt knee, draw across to left knee, then up to sit beside left hand (in front of left shoulder). Drop left hand to waist, palm east.

Draw both hands across body from your left to your right. rt hand is at chest level, palm north. Left hand is at waist level, palm east, fingers down.

When both hands reach rt shoulder line, switch hands. Now rt hand is at waist, palm west. Left hand is at rt shoulder, palm north.

Pull hands across body from your rt to your left. As you do this, step rt foot in to left.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from left to right.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from right to left, stepping left foot out west.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from left to right. Bring rt foot in to left.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from right to left, stepping left foot out west.

Switch hands again. Pull hands across body from left to right. Bring rt foot in to left.

Step left foot out to west while bringing crossed wrists to brow and then opening the arms out to reflect the feet.

Turn torso west and step rt toe west in a cat stance. Bring rt wrist to cross left wrist in front of throat.

Step rt foot backward to east. Transfer weight to rt foot.

Rock weight fwd onto left foot, then back onto rt. As weight goes rt, pull left foot back to step behind rt, and turn to south. As you turn, rt palm brushes left palm at chest level. Settle into south-facing horse with left hand chambered at waist and right hand palm-out near rt shoulder (elbow bent and dropped).

Pull rt foot in to left. Place left hand diagonally across chest with palm on rt shoulder. Drop rt hand and scoop it up to touch palm to left elbow, at your left hip.

Turn rt to northwest, stepping out with rt foot, toe turned WAY out. Arms split clockwise. Right goes palm-out over rt temple to ward. Left goes palm-down to left hip. Complete the turn by stepping left foot northwest to make a front stance (left foot in front). Arms continue the circle and end with left forearm held horiz across chest (palm down) and rt hand resting (palm down) on top of left wrist.

Rt crescent kick northwest, inside-to-outside. Slap leg with both palms as arms move the opposite way (rt to left).

Chamber the leg but do not set it down. Turn 180 degrees to face southeast. Hands make blades and make a scissoring slash as you complete the turn: Rt goes to the outside of your rt thigh (palm in) Left is at left cheek (palm in).

Set rt foot down, step left foot out a bit to sink into horse facing southeast. Bring both hands together at belly and then down-and-out in "smoothing the skirt" motion. When they reach almost horizontal to sides (palms down), they move to centerline (waist level) and meet. Leave left hand out there (palm pressing fwd). Turn torso southwest and draw rt hand back to rt hip.

Make a fist rt hand and punch groin level northeast. Torso turns northeast again as you strike. Left hand pulls back as you punch, to chamber at waist. Pause. (Note that all the other punches of this type in this form are horizontal to chest level. This is the only low punch.)

Make a finger-swirling grabbing motion with rt hand.

Turn rt fist palm-up and bring it up in front of your face as if you were looking at it. Elbow is bent 90 degrees. At the same time, turn left toe and torso northeast, and bring rt knee up so that you are standing on left leg.

Small step to northeast with rt foot, followed by small step with left foot. You are still in a cat with rt toe up. Push both palms to floor beyond rt hip.

Turn torso east while you form a Tiger's Mouth with left hand and push it toward east over top of rt hand. Rt hand pulls back slightly as you do this.

Turn torso north as you turn left hand palm up and pull it back to sit just below belly button. Rt hand forms Crane's beak (beak pointing down, wrist kinked upward) and floats up to chest level toward northeast. elbow is bent at not quite 90 degrees, elbow dropped. Pause.

Turn torso northeast, shifting into a gentle lunge (left leg straight) as your left hand floats palm-up to touch your rt wrist.

Turn torso slowly north, then keep going to slightly northwest. As you hit north, shift into horse stance. As you are turning, left hand turns palm out to north, fingers eastward, and pulls across face level on centerline. Elbow is bent and dropped.

As your left hand gets to northwest, turn torso back to north and settle into stance. Left hand turns fingers-up and moves just a bit back toward center. Pause. Your arms are extended to either side, just a bit forward of the torso. Elbows bent and dropped. Rt hand is a loose Crane's beak (beak down), left hand is palm facing northeast with fingers up. Pause.

Drop into Snake-Creeps-Down. Squat all the way to the floor on rt thigh, left leg sticking out straight to west and torso facing north. Right fisted arm is in a ward at rt temple, left fisted hand is guarding groin (elbow turned out).

Stand up in a forward stance facing west. left foot in front. Rt fist returns to rt hip. Left fist (palm toward you) is held out in front of belly as if you were holding a beach ball against your body.

Step rt foot west so that you are in a cat stance with rt toe fwd. (Note that this is a cat stance, NOT a seven stars stance.) Hold both arms out at extention west, chest level, wrists crossed.

Roll both hands under, ending in the same position but with a distinct press of palms to west.

Step rt foot back to east and turn torso north, bringing left toe in to make a north-facing cat stance with left toe in front. Hands are in a "basic karate guard) at chest level, palms to centerline, rt on top. This technique comprises "Straddling the Tiger".

Transfer weight to left foot, Turn rt foot as far around to the right toward south as you can. Let the left foot swing around and turn 360 degrees to your rt to face north again, ending in a cat with rt toe forward. Arms stretch out almost to extension and circle clockwise, opposite each other. Rt hand starts at 1 o'clock, left hand starts at 7 o'clock. When left hand gets to 12 o'clock, let it fall down centerline to end horiz across waist, palm up. When rt hand gets to 6 'oclock, it comes up centerline palm-up with elbow against belly button.

Rt hand continues to move up the centerline to above brow level.

Rt fist drops gently into left cupped hand.

Rt fist goes straight back up centerline to above bow level, rt knee comes up with it so that you are standing on left leg.

Left foot stomps down as rt Fist drops firmly into cupped left hand at belly button. Pause. You are now in horse.

Drop both arms in a "smoothing the skirt" motion. As arms come out to the sides horizontally, they move to the front (palm down) and are pulled in to the belly side by side. Press palms to floor at groin, wrists bent 90 degrees.

Step left foot in to stand straight.

Thee medium-sized openings and closings.

Salute.

Tuesday

2011-08-23T19:57:00.001-07:00

A warrior is a master at facing conflicts, and conflict is what stands between us and the fulfillment of our desires. Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

MOnday's FOD is the Mantis Bo Form. I also worked some more on the transcript of the Tai Chi long form.

Tuesday: Silken Needle.

Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Bellevue. I forgot my contacts, so I was working blind. Prof. Carlos was miming his Saturday experience of reffing Little Carlos' match, the one where he got smeared on points. I had been watching the Prof's unhappy face during the match, and the way his hand crept slowly and reluctantly up to signal the opponent's points.... today he was exaggerating it for humor, but it was all the funnier having seen the original.

Armbars from guard (good, reinforcing what we worked on at Cindy's last week), then transitioning to a triangle if the guy pulls his arm out. I need to make sure I don't let my knee turn out when I put my foot on the hip; Prof. Carlos wants me to have the leg tight to the opponent's side. The technique also seems to work better for me when I get a lapel grip for the second hand. Drilled with Kelly.

Spar with Ritchie. Working with Ritchie is always an exercise in humility. He's the teenager who informed me about a year ago (when he was a one or two stripe white) that I needn't worry about the fact that he didn't let go right away when I tapped, even though he "could have torn your arm off". Well, now he's a blue belt, and I admit he's gotten very good (although he plays a bit too rough), good enough to tool me effortlessly. However, he still hasn't learned what a tap means. I was already not having much fun getting worked over by him (and already feeling vulnerable because I was blind), and he was being slow to let go of his subs again. I made a comment about it the first time he did it; then a bit later, I tapped and he didn't let go, so I called "Tap"- still nothing, so I yelled "TAP, TAP TAP TAP!!!!!!" Goddammit. That brought both profs over right away. I told Rodrigo that the kid has a habit of not letting go when you tap, and he said he'd talk to him.

Evening BJJ at Gracie Bellevue. Ambars from guard again, a slightly different drill, and a whole lot of them. T-I-R-E-D. The hip-up into the armbar really is key, though, and if you're going to get lazy with that in the drills, why bother. So I gritted my teeth and whipped them out till the last few reps on my bad side simply could not physically be managed. A few more triangles, too. Very sloppy on my bad side. I'm making more of an effort lately to drill more reps on my bad side.

King Of the Hill from back mount. I was mounting Alison first, and now I have a bad beard burn all over my right temple! I also got to mount Prof Carlos, who stood up and hopped around the mat with me on his back. Yeah, it was funny, but it's sure a long way to fall!

One spar with a blue belt whose name I can't recall.... I got pretty smoked.

Sunday

2011-08-21T19:45:00.001-07:00

Even some of the best people I know live by the “I just wanna do my own little thing.” Satisfied with the happy little island they created for themselves in the middle of the ocean of the surrounding disharmony, they look at life from their seat in the audience. I consider this attitude one of the main causes in the mediocrity in the state of things. Often for creative people the beauty of their inner world can become a handicap. Too caught up by their subjective experience to learn how to dance through the physical world. The result is that, limiting themselves to the cultivation of their own spiritual world, the most sensitive people leave to the most careless the management of collective reality. Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

The FOD is the White Crane Walking the Path fragment.

Evening BJJ at Gracie Seattle. I asked Lindsey about the weakness/exhaustion thing with tournament matches, and he feels it is all mental. He said that he was watching my face during the first gi match that he cornered for me, and that it all went out of me after I got taken down. He then spent much of the ensuing class calling me out on some of my defeatist attitudes. (sigh)

First we did some calisthenics, then we started with one person sitting while hir partner grabbed hir ankles and rolled hir backwards. The object was to try to tuck in nice and tight for the roll, and come out with one knee up, one leg tucked under, to immediately grab the standing opponent's sleeve cuffs and pop into butterfly guard. From there, triangle, sweep or armbar.

Then, rolling-the-shoulder-over armlocks from gaurd. I definitely injured something in my back/ribs/shoulder in that last no-gi match yesterday... the ribs on the right (same side as my previous rib injury- curses) and the shoulder on the left (at least it's balanced). I had a lot of trouble with the side where I had to engage my left shoulder to finish the sub, so I mostly did it on the other side.

Lindsey called me out on my having gotten trapped in mount in my first gi match. "What's the first thing you do?" The other students responded, "Hands on opponent's hips," I was like, "Uh, I don't want to do that, because he'll plump his weight down and break my wrist." I had that happen several times (not BROKEN, but painfully jammed) early on, thus I stopped bracing on people that way. I *need* my wrists. Lindsey wants me to put my hands on the opponent's hips far enough to the sides that my wrists won't break. Hmmmmmmm.

Second call-out: Kitsune assumes she can't hold front mount on anyone because she is too weak and lightweight- they'll just bench-press her off, or roll her over, so she doesn't even bother to try. Lindsey had me work on a high mount, although we ran into issues when we learned that I could not lean forward *AT ALL* without my weight (such as it is) immediately coming off the opponent's chest. Certainly I couldn't lean forward far enough for my little arms to reach the opponent's head, or for me to brace on the mat.

Revolution Aug 2011

2011-08-20T17:22:00.001-07:00

Today's FOD is Five Animals, again, because I didn't get it done yesterday.

Right ear is killing me after having Alecia grind on it Friday evening. I lay on my left side all night, and was sure that I'd be seeing a cauli ear in the mirror this morning. I don't see one, but it hurts mightily. NO MORE ROLLING SANS HEADGEAR. My CLiff Keen set needs to be replaced. The velcro won't hold, and that's why I keep getting frustrated and tossing it to the sidelines. I need to stop doing that. Neither my checkbook nor my pain threshold can stand another bout of cauli ear.

Revolution: Short version- I didn't do so hot.

There were 4 women total in my gi division, and I came in 4th. There were two women total in my no-gi division, and I came in 2nd {blush}.

Gi first. The first fight can only be called a rout. I got mounted almost immediately, and there I stayed till she tapped me out with a cross collar choke. I am used to being stuck on the bottom, so I wasn't that surprised to be imprisoned in mount.... but my choke defense is usually good, so I was frustrated and taken aback to get tapped to a choke.

2nd fight I was more competitive. I spent too much of it in my opponent's guard, but we ran out the clock and I lost on points. I accidentally poked her in the eye at one point, and stopped to apologize- I felt really bad.

Jeff (the guy who runs this show) came over to bitch that "I can't have all these Gracie Barra people over here!" They are very strict that you can only have one coach per athlete per mat. Gracie Barra of course has a zillion coaches running around, and I never ask someone to corner me- it's just whomever happens to show up. Often, more than one person shows up. Did I mention that Gracie Barra is very big on the TEAM thing? This time Lindsey showed up first (thanks, Lindsey), and Jeff chased all the others (including Rodrigo!) away.

No-gi- This was the one girl from the gi bracket that I didn't get to fight. She was a Tenth Planet student, so I was anxious about what wild tricks she might pull out of the bag, but she won on solid basics.

Another rather embarrassing first match. She came in very aggressively and double-legged me to take me down. I got a sweet guillotine but just barely missed getting the left leg around for closed guard, so I ended up with bottom half guard. I kept the guillotine for a long time- it was on very nicely, and I knew if I could just get closed guard, I'd have her- and she couldn't move a whole lot with the way I had her neck kinked over and her forehead glued to the mat. She seemed lighter than me, and I felt like I ought to be able to manhandle her into place. I came close to getting the closed guard a number of times, and was doing fairly well at reminding myself to be patient and conserve my breath/strength, but finally I got frustrated and let the guillotine go- and not long afterward she went for a keylock... at least I thought she was going for a keylock, but she fooled me and slipped in a kimura instead before I realized what was happening.

Second match, same girl. I was torn about what to do this time. Should I try for that guillotine again, because I had been THISCLOSE, and it is my best sub...? I chickened out, because I figured it would be too much of a disadvantage that she would know what I was trying. Spent a lot of time with her sprawled on my shoulders while we grabbed at and wrestled each other's legs. By the time we finished doing that for an eon, I was so exhausted I could barely raise an arm. I was in TOP (yes, TOP) half guard for a considerable time, but couldn't quite finish a keylock. She was very strong for being such a tiny little thing. I could hear Angela (she showed up first this time) yelling advice at me, but my body was too exhausted to do most of the things she was telling me to do. Then I heard another official yelling at Angela that there were again too many Gracie Barra coaches lurking about this mat. Finally the girl got a sub (IIRC an armlock) and I had to tap. The timekeeper was actually tossing the beanbag in *as* I was tapping. I was disgusted, because I think we were tied two to two.

I didn't see much of what was happening to my teammates today. I saw Kelly tie in a match during which she was in top half guard the entire time. I saw her later on the podium with second place. I saw Carlos (one of my fellow "Little Guys") get creamed on points, and I gave him an encouraging hug. I saw Kaungren lose one and win one. Another white belt guy that I work with at Bellevue sometimes- I'm blanking on his name- it was his first comp and he was nervous. We talked a bit, and I watched him get smeared on points in his first match. I told him that he was breathing too hard and fast, and that he was also turning AWAY from his opponent when trying to get out from under, instead of turning toward him. I didn't see him fight again, but he must have done better in his next matches, because I saw him later on the podium with third place.

I was indeed preoccupied to the point that I was a lot less nervous this time, but still had some flutterbelly and shaking when it was time to get on the mat. I am still feeling all the strength drain right out of my body almost immediately, and I am almost too exhausted to move after about forty seconds. I thought that phenomenon was a product of nerves, and perhaps partly because of poor breath control. But this time I seemed more on top of those two factors, and I still felt weak as a kitten very shortly into each match. Now I'm not sure what is causing that sensation.

I am not having much fun with competing, and I am not a good competitor. Rolling in the school is fun, even when I lose; this ain't fun. I also perform better in school; I don't seem to come through under pressure very well. I think I am mostly doing this as a Rodrigo-approval-seeking exercise. I think I'm subconsciously seeing him as the father figure I never had, and I'm trying to make him proud of me. I need to do some thinking, though, about whether or not competing is actually helpful for my personal martial artist development.

Back to SA

2011-08-19T21:54:00.001-07:00

Changing the world has nothing to do with altruism or with trying to be a good Samaritan. Ultimately, since everything is connected, helping others inevitably means helping ourselves. At the highest level, there is no difference between egoism and altruism. It is a karmic ping-pong game. All our actions come back to us. Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

Today's FOD is Five Animals.

Evening no-gi at Sleeper Athletics, the new Bellevue location. The mat space is a lot larger. Not as big as Gracie Bellevue, but quite decent. Another space with the rollup "garage door" that can be opened when it's hot. Unfortunately, there is no door at the far end of the room to open for a crossbreeze.

Alecia noted that "You've lost weight." She also immediately wanted to know if I was doing the Revolution. She did not offer her own info in return, so I won't know till tomorrow whether I have to fight her or not.

Closed guard to an armbar, triangle, and another armbar.

2 or 3 spars with Alecia... nothing new here; she spent most of the time mounted or back mounted on me and being frustrated that she could not choke me, even with her nasty crossfacing tricks. She did get an armbar tap once.

One roll with George, two with Cindy.

It's a good thing to get a little practice in no-gi before I have to compete in it tomorrow, seeing as how I haven't done any no-gi in months.

Contemplating taking some time off the Kung Fu group.

Bitch-slap

2011-08-18T22:39:00.000-07:00

As a warrior, you are given weapons very few people possess. The self-confidence of a wild animal, a spirit that can’t be broken, the tranquility of one whose roots are too deep to be disturbed by minor events. If you don’t change the world, certainly no one else will.
Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

I spent half the night doing Bung Bo Kuen in my sleep, and it wasn't even the FOD.

Today's FOD is Snake Versus Five Animals.

Thursday Kung Fu.

Hand strike drills. SK came over to hold his arm up for me to strike at during the Tiger straight punches, then took a step backward and I almost fell on my face. Umm, yeah, I see that I am overbalancing forward a bit too much.

Walking line kick drills: box kicks, crescents, flying crescents.

Next, I was to be the punching dummy for RM to practice the first three Black Crane line drills.

After that, Black Crane drill 5 with partners, about a zillion times. Me and Nemesis and MM, then me and Nemesis and RM.

Short spar with MM. He has been working a lot of Wing Chun, and it shows... there was always an elbow (followed by a backfist) rolling over into my face. He's well above my skill level, but I got a few things on him. Then it went to the ground, where I didn't fare very well due to not having the skills yet to compensate for the vast strength differential. I managed to bitch-slap him hard across the face once, which was so funny (to me, to the onlookers, and to him as well) that I got in three more of those over the course of the spar.

Individual forms. I worked on the FOD (Snake Versus Five) and also the other 2-person Snake form, Kiu Two. I can see the influence of Hurricane Hands on both.

Got some more done on the Tai Chi long form transcription.

Signed up for the tournament, an hour before registration closed. I don't really feel like doing it, and ironically that's why I decided to do it. I just have so many deeply absorbing personal problems right now that there is an almost total absence of competition anxiety. It might come roaring back on the day of... but for now, it's like, "Geez, why did this fluff ever seem important enough to get wound up over?" It may be interesting to see what happens- for good or ill- if that mindset holds during the competition.

The Skinny Guys

2011-08-17T21:14:00.001-07:00

Many people train and prepare by walking along the way of the warrior, but never discover, or maybe just forget, what battle they have been training for. The battle rages in front of their eyes and they don’t realize it. The small psychodramas of daily life distract them to the point of taking away their global vision and making them forget why they set out walking the warrior’s path in the first place. Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

Today's FOD is Five Points Of the Star.

I started transcribing the Tai Chi Long form. Yeah, there's a decent amount of cutting and pasting, but still, a slog. And this is the one I don't have any video for, so I can't check if I have a point of confusion.

Evening BJJ at Gracie Bellevue. Hey, guess what, Hostility Boy is leaving town. Don't know for how long. FOREVER would work great for me. Or at least long enough that I can surpass him in skill to the point where I can choke the snot out of him.

Prof. Carlos split us up into groups of 5 or 6 and had us do various drill relays. The group with all the huge guys in it somehow gained the nickname "The Fat Guys" although none of them are fat at all, they're just the biggun's. My group was, of course, "The Skinny Guys" after "The Little Guys" was deemed too demeaning. We always finished the drills fastest, and when the Prof wanted to know why, one of my group-mates suggested, "Because the Skinny Guys skipped dinner." Of course the Little/Skinny guys are always the fastest... we're the ones who have had to run the fastest all our lives just to keep from getting the poo beaten out of us.

One roll with Steve and one with Kevin. Steve was going light on me and giving me way too much space. Kevin- I was within a hair of subbing him a number of times, and somehow he avoided tapping and managed to weasel out. I think his shoulder detaches and just spins around in his gi jacket.

I took a careful inventory of all my crap before I left, and I think I managed to leave with everything I came in with this time.

Tuesday

2011-08-16T20:33:00.000-07:00

Stealing from the gods the fire of passion and creativity to lighten our life is just the first step of the trip, not the destination. Passion and creativity are not our private property, not our very own toys. They are the sparks lighting the fire of a big tribal camp. Having talent and not cultivating it is a crime, but cultivating it without sharing its fruits with others may be even worse. In its highest form, the way of the warrior is that of the bodhisatva: putting one’s talent at the service of a superior destiny. Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

Today's FOD is Iron Needle.

Lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Bellevue. Rodrigo wants to know why I haven't been in. I confessed that I am having a lot of personal problems right now. He refrained from asking me if I am still doing the tournament, which he must have had to bite his tongue halfway through to accomplish. [grin] I have till tomorrow midnight to decide. Weight's fine (123 this morning, naked). I just haven't trained much lately, cardio's poor, and most concerning, I may well just be too distracted with personal problems to have the focus for this.

Also got an e-mail from Cindy last night. Her transplanted school (now in Bellevue) is starting adult classes this week. It was nice of her to ping me personally. I replied that I am having some problems, but that I will try to get in as soon as I am able. I miss her (told her that too). I will try to get over there on Friday night, if I have the time and the energy.

Scissor sweep to mount, then opponent turns on side and pushes at your knee, you catch hir arm in your armpit, get a knee behind the head, and go for an armbar or choke. Drilled with Kelly. Then positional training from mount, in which I did not do very well.

Evening BJJ at Gracie Bellevue. Same stuff as lunchtime; I ended up drilling in a threesome with two of the teenagers. Then, king of the mountain.

I often walk out of there and forget my water bottle or my earguards. This morning and tonight, I double-checked to make sure I had both items... and I am so brain dead that I walked out tonight without my JACKET and BELT. Gawds. I really need an involuntary mental health eval. I'm so glad Prof Carlos was there while I was telling Rodrigo I am having a lot of problems.... because of that, he might give me a pass.... I'm sure he would consider it a grave disrespectful insult to leave my sweaty gi jacket and my RANK BELT lying on the floor of the dojo. I'm so embarrassed.

Finished the transcription of Hurricane Hands. All of my Shaolin forms are now transcribed. It was useful to go over each one and break down every movement. I own each one now, more than I owned them before.

My pink serrated Spyderco knife has finally bought the farm. I broke the tip off the blade a few years ago, trying to pry a battery out of an appliance. The screws that held the pieces of the knife together have always been kind of loosey-goosey; I have had to tighten them with increasing regularity. This week it's finally gotten to the point that the thing just won't really hold together, and I stopped carrying it.

I'm going to mail it back to the company- I hope they will fix the screw for free; I have never even taken the thing apart on purpose, so I think I have a decent case for saying it was a shoddy screw. They do not replace blades, but they may be able to refile the tip (that I will have to pay for).

I had to chuckle the other night, though, when I had had one of my frequent defensive-fighting dreams. In these dreams, I always go for my knives. In this case, I went for the one on the right and remembered (in the dream), "Dammit, I don't have the serrated!"