Action Plan: nose meets grindstone

Like a martial artist who has developed an exceptional technique, but who doesn’t have the wisdom to know when to use it, Western culture has in its hands the technological potential to turn the planet into a paradise, but has no clue as to how to enjoy it. Rather than being used as a means to enrich our daily lives, the evermore sophisticated technological inventions become a way to take us further away from our bodies and our nature. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path



Well, that was a sobering practice session. Okay, that was a HORRIFYING practice session. Like, Psycho-shower-scene-horrifying.

I spent one and three quarters hours at the (non-MA) gym tonight. I only managed to rouse myself to haul my ass in there because I made a threatening deal with Ginger. I haven't been there since- I can't even remember. (Mildly amusing to see that they still haven't fixed the broken knob on the water fountain). It was a sunny, gorgeous Friday late afternoon, and the place was quite empty.

I started with many of the forms I had worked on yesterday and had issues with. Before going to the gym I plumbed my online notes and printed out any that I had on those particular forms. I also wanted to visit some of the forms that I felt would probably be the dustiest ones.

Neither the bo nor the dao grips were being very pleasant on my broken finger, so I told myself I'd minimize the quantity of that work (famous last words).

Starting with the bo. Spent some time just doing basic movements with it and getting re-acclimated. Frustrated to find that the double hand switching drill just would not come back to memory even though I spent quite a long time trying to puzzle it out. A lot of other techniques came back promptly, though, including the turning-180-while-spinning-the-staff thing that gave me such fits (last summer? It couldn't have been the summer before...?).

Northern Mantis Bo Form. Good to see that it had only a couple of minor bobbles. I did it five or six times.

The bit of Southern Mantis form that I got from JoE. I had to reconstruct it laboriously from my (thankfully reasonably complete) notes. I need to go over it with JoE and make sure I have all the little details correct, but it's reasonably okay.

Leopard At Dawn. Moderate reconstruction to get that one back.

Chunk of the Snake Dao form. High-moderate reconstruction, but I got it now.

I thought I'd touch briefly on Catherine Dao before putting the dao away, and was relieved to get through the first rep with only a couple of minor bobbles. Then I tried to do it again, and it fell to bits. I wasn't expecting much from my first run-though, because it wouldn't have surprised me to have it be very hazy... I guess in that torpid mental state, it floated up just fine from the subconscious, but as soon as I started *thinking* about it, it slipped away. I shoulda just let it lie and come back to it later, but I got stubbornly frustrated and ended up working on it for some time. At last it was MOSTLY okay and I decided to let it go for now. One thing I was happy about; that weird ending that I have struggled with so badly for so long came back right away.

I thought I'd touch briefly on Chen Dao before putting the dao away (you'd think I'd have learned my lesson) and was very troubled to fish up the opening sequence after a couple minutes but only brief flashes of anything else. Yeah, it's been a long time since I practiced it, but I must have logged HUNDREDS of reps of this form once upon a time. I had assumed it was hardwired in there somewhere. Heck. Again I got stubbornly frustrated and wrestled with it for a long time. I reformed a few random chunks, from which I tried to build on- often if I can grope a chunk or few out of the ether, and get my brain to go on autopilot while I rep them, more will come flowing out. These chunks felt distressingly foreign. I then realized that they were chunks from the jian form. No wonder. At last I had to give up. I cringe to think how disappointed CK would be if she knew I've let Tai Chi forms get this bad.

Wood Monkey. Some reconstruction; I reformed most of it with a couple of dim areas.

Hurricane Hands- OMG. I was able to do the beginning sequence, then added the intro which I had forgotten the first time, then I blanked out completely. After much struggle I was able to build the end portion. The middle just wouldn't come, try as I might. It upset me. A lot. I know I haven't been sleeping well (which lends itself to blonde moments), and I've neglected my forms, and we don't have the regular in-class time to work on them any more, but it really has not been that long since I busted my butt on this form and I can't believe I'm losing it. Seriously, do I have brain damage? Early Alzheimer's? I was able to resurrect SILKEN NEEDLE- which I regarded much more casually, neglected for much longer and did not work on even 1/10 as much as I did Hurricane Hands- but not this? I'd drink a gallon of battery acid before I'd face SK and tell him that I have forgotten Hurricane Hands. Reclaiming this one- along with the Tai Chi forms- are going on my priority list slightly below "breathing". Maybe above it. Please God, let me have notes somewhere.

I was so upset by my epic failure with HH that I had to quit and go home.

As soon as I got home, the first thing I did was to dig up the very earliest postings on my training blog (On the Jiu Jitsu Forums site, where I started it first) and start to comb it for bits of form notes. I scanned about two months' worth before getting frustrated. Nowadays I make sure to descriptively notate new chunks of forms I'm learning (and if I'm being really good, also copy/paste them to my online technique logbook). I was vexed to see that back when I started the training blog, I was not nearly so thorough about describing technique. Gonna search for paper notes later tonight. If I can't find any, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

The second thing I did was to look for my video file of CK doing Tai Chi forms. I have all the Tai Chi forms in there with the exception of the long open-hands form. I have Catherine Dao as well (which may not exactly be classifiable as "Tai Chi"). I pulled up Chen Dao and used the vid to reconstruct the form.

Dammit. I have let this happen so many times, and every time I do it, I swear I'm never gonna do it again. Well, this time I am REALLY REALLY REALLY NEVER GONNA DO IT AGAIN!!!!!! Concrete Action Plan time.

Action plan:

1) Form Of The Day. Starting tomorrow, every single day is going to have a Form Of the Day. I must do- at bare minimum- a micro-fu version of the Form Of the Day at least once. No excuses, no exceptions. If I feel reasonably good about it and there aren't any memory holes, that's all I'm going to insist on. More work, reps, note-taking, mental reps, whatever- is desireable, as time and circumstances may allow. I often picture MA techniques while I'm sitting in traffic, practice bits of whatever we're working on in Sunday class while I'm waiting for the microwave to finish my dinner, write notes during idle moments at work. Those odd moments throughout the day will now be primarily foccused on the Form Of the Day. I am also going to make more of a conscious effort to harness random niblets of unproductive time to squeeze in a couple more of these little micro-practices- or at least micro-musings. (I'm going to include the random unfinished form "chunks" as well as completed forms in this list... but not drills or anything else, for now.)

I'm posting a form list on the bathroom wall, so that as soon as I'm upright, I will know what my Form Of the Day is. As soon as I get through one circuit of the list, I'll make a new list comprised of just the weaker ones. Wash, rinse, repeat till I know all of my forms again. Therafter, I'll replace the list with two jars of labelled tokens or something, so as to make sure I regularly cycle through all the forms but in random order. If some seem to need a greater commitment of ongoing attention, they can have more than one token in the jar- or I can decide at the end of the day to toss that day's token back into the "working" jar instead of the "done" jar.

Reassess this plan in three months. That's August 20. If I can see earlier that it's not getting the job done, reassessment can happen at any time.

The Form Of the Day tomorrow is Hurricane Hands. If I am unable to do a complete rep of this form by bedtime tomorrow, The Form Of the Day on Sunday will be Hurricane Hands. And the next day, and the next, until I can do it. At which point I will begin the bathroom-wall list.

2)Look for notes on Hurricane Hands. If I can't find any, I know there have got to be a few random hints in my training blog, altho it would take an eon to ferret them out. Rebuild Hurricane Hands and Tai Chi forms.

3)I honestly cannot afford to consider buying any electronics in the foreseeable future, but if/when any opportunity presents itself to obtain the means to create, store and easily retrieve video of myself doing forms to keep as a permanent resource, I need to commit to that. I loathe being on film, and I have long assumed that really good detailed notes were sufficient (better, even, because I retain stuff better when I've written it down- hence how much this training blog helps me). Yet I saw today that even my most anal-retentive notes- when I have them at all- are leaving me with the odd foggy detail. Furthermore, I was genuinely intrigued by SK's suggestion that I experiment with regular form-videotaping as a way to try to observe progress. It would help me so much if I could find a way to really see and appreciate progress. I will ask my geek housemate about equipment. Geeks are helpful in that way. Not only do they know exactly what you need for your purpose, they often have (or know someone who has) used equipment you may be able to snap up cheaper- since true geeks are constantly upgrading to better equipment! (Every electronic I own is a hand-me-down.)

There may well be additional Action Plan after I have time to mull it over.