Sorry, Hedge

Chi, outlaw Taoist wanted in vain by the inquisition of Western science; the breath of a God forgotten in a mortal body; nightmare of the laws of physics; Zen warrior of our will; fuel in the engine of the universe. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path


Ow, sore this morning. I tweaked my broken finger at some point last night. My ribs that Steve was really heavy on- and Lamont was heavy a couple of times on after that- are achy. I noticed during the warmups at Cindy's that my bad knees were *really* painful; and they don't feel any better today.

After I wrote that blog post last night, I went to bed and spent all night having a nightmare about sitting in front of a math test (I have terrible math anxiety) that I didn't know any of the answers to, and the clock steadily running out.... heh...

Thursday lunchtime BJJ at Gracie Bellevue. Nothing makes Carlos happier than to hear that you are in pain from his previous class. This also gave me a chance to talk about how great Steve's pressure is for such a small guy. I like to grab opportunities to get in a good word with the teachers about my favorite training partners. Carlos also brought up Bryan, since we were talking about small guys with good pressure. Uh huh.

That same takedown. Everybody was tall in class today- it's quite a bit more challenging to do this technique on someone taller than yourself.

That same guard pass, with one new detail. Grab both lapels in one hand before you begin. Carlos showed us that if you place your pointer finger on the guy's clavicle and just run it down between the lapels, they will just sort of flow into your hand and you will not have to grope and scrabble around for them. I was happy to have this, as my tiny hands have a difficult time capturing and grasping both lapels. Also- try to remember to sprawl on the toes, and in addition to this you want to try to put your hand by the opponent's NEAR hip. I usually put my elbow at the far hip. I felt like the guy could roll or buttscoot away if I put my hand at the near hip, so the prof did a short clinic to describe the benefits of this position.

Positional training from the guard break, rotating partners. I told everybody (some of them more than once) to be careful on my ribs.

I was doubtful whether I would make it back for more class today, but I did go......
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Basics class. The purple belt teacher picked 2 team captains, had them choose teams, and set up mock tournaments.
Immediate emotional trauma for me on several levels. First, that "being picked last for the kickball team" thing. Second, once again everybody in there was big... the only people within 50lb of me were Ritchie and Hedge. I mean, we're talking Lance, Brandon.... the white belts were all enormous. I knew there was nobody in the room that I had a chance of having even a decent fight against. I also knew that it was inevitable as death and taxes that I'd get set against Ritchie.

I was observing my mental/emotional/physical reaction to a "mock tournament" environment with a kind of clinical dismay. Immediately I was getting shaky, and I could feel all my strength just drain out through my feet like water until I felt weak as a newborn kitten. It felt just like my real tournament experiences. Why is it so dramatic? The worst thing that can happen is an injury, and I'm honestly not that scared of injuries. I've been injured a lot, I'm fairly sanguine about it by now. Losses? a bit more scary than injuries.... I especially don't like having everybody watching me, and feeling like I'm letting a team down by losing. But even so, it seems like my involuntary reaction is just out of proportion. The speed and force  with which it hit, though.... I was standing there thinking, "I don't want to compete again... ever."

Surprisingly, I *wasn't* picked last on the first round... Hedge, bless him, said "I'm gonna go for skill over size..." and picked me fairly quickly.

So there I was facing off with Ritchie. Ritchie goes aggressive and spazzy and rough on a normal day... anybody want to guess how Ritchie's going to roll in a "mock tournament" against a GIRL with a bunch of the guys ringed around watching? Anybody? Yup. He muscled me into guard and then muscled me into a cross collar choke and tapped me out in about twenty seconds. Sorry Hedge.

Next go-round I *was* picked dead last (not that I can blame the new captains). My opponent this time was Hedge. I know he could have served me the exact same way Ritchie did, but he was nice enough to not be a bully. All the same, it was a Survival Roll. I spent almost the entire time in his closed guard... and while I did make several halfhearted attempts to pass, I admit that I was mostly focussed on defending the sweeps and subs he was trying to set up. Meaning it was a boring match with me stalling in his guard (sorry Hedge). He triangled me at one point, and came within a titch of tapping me. I circled and stacked, and gritted my teeth against the considerable pain, and tried to drop my knee behind his head (which I couldn't quite manage), and luckily for me he does not have the most flexible back in the school, and eventually had to let go due to the stacking. A moment later I found myself back in his closed guard. And so we ran out the clock. Sorry again, Hedge.  But you see what I mean about intermittant reinforcement? At least I didn't get subbed in twenty seconds again, but this was a boring match and one that would have made Lamont shake his head at me. I am not improving my game with this.

Competition class: just rotating rounds with several people. I didn't draw Ritchie again, thank you God. I got Ian twice, and we gave each other some decent fights... I was able to be comptetitive because he was giving me *way* too much space between our bodies; I'm not sure if he was doing that on purpose to be nice or if that was a flaw in his game.

Tom was doing a takedown seminar tonight in Advanced class, and I really would have liked to do that, but I was just too tired and sore (and not a little demoralized).