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Problems set in if the performer has a brittle dependence on the safety of absolute perfection. -Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”




Thursday evening Kung Fu.

Two rounds of hand strike drills. SK remarked that my ridge hand strikes look much improved. Goodie. I have been trying to keep the strike more direct and prevent my elbows from flying up too much.

Then some one-step Black Crane self-defense drills, with partners. First with SK. He made a few suggestions, but I seemed mostly okay. At one point he threw a totally different strike at me and I reacted instinctually; then he threw the same strike a second time, and I was so worried about what I was SUPPOSED to be doing that I flubbed it. After that, I tried to just relax and do what seemed to make sense..... rather than trying to compute what was coming in, run it through a mental index of what I felt was expected of me, choose the correct response, and execute it- which was taking way too long anyway. Even when I came up with the correct action, it was hesitant and clumsy because I was thinking about it too much and second-guessing myself.

Note to self- don't hunch the shoulder while doing the low rear Black Crane blocks. Also, keep that elbow up. Most of the movement is below the elbow, and the elbow itself should be pointed toward the opponent.

SK asked Marcy how she was doing with this, and she paused for a long moment before replying, "Noninstinctual movements." I stated, "That pretty much sums up Crane."

Then with RM. It was amusing to watch him do Crane and compare his movements to those of his eerily similar bro (who is a Crane stylist). RM seems to be clicking well with Crane so far. I also had opportunity to remark that Smartaleck runs in his family.

After we were done working Black Crane, SK made mention of the forearm bruises and aches that always accompany this material, and asked the new students how they were doing with that. Then he checked in with me on how my injuries were doing, and then we all looked next at Nemesis- who never bruises and feels no pain. He said brightly, "I'm fine!" and we all cracked up.

SK specifically called on me to answer a couple of questions in class tonight, and he also used me for a demo once- which are both unusual. I no longer bother to try to volunteer answers to questions in class, because JM always tramples over everyone to answer them first. When I complained to SK that JM was inappropriately taking over the class, one of my annoyances I did *not* bring up is that he always uses her for the demos. In most MA classes I have been in, the teacher uses the most senior student for demos. When DD taught, he always used CN; when CN taught, he always used SK; now that SK is teaching, he ought to be using Nemesis (or- my preference- cycle through and use ALL the students), but he always uses JM. When you can tell that he's getting ready to demo something, she just steps right up there like that's her job, rather than waiting to be motioned to. This time, when she stepped right up there, he motioned to me instead- and she had to step back again. I managed to keep a straight face, but inwardly my eyebrows were climbing and I wanted to chuckle. I wonder if that was some sort of fluke, or if he figured that out for himself and decided to change that up a little. That would be nice. Time will tell, I guess. I also noticed tonight that one time, she started to challenge/question something SK said and then halfway through the sentence, stopped herself and said, "Sorry". He indicated for her to continue, but again- maybe a sign of good change. We'll see if it continues or not.

We did a few reps of the Five Animals form, with people dropping out at whichever point they have learned up to- those of us who know the whole thing finished it. I haven't repped this one in a while, and I was chagrined to accidentally do a piece of the form on the mirror side, the first time we went through. Oops. On the positive side, though, it's good that I feel that comfortable with the techniques off both sides, since that was my aim in the first place.

SK wants me to work on an assignment- come up with a set of basic one-step Southern Tiger self-defense drills similar to this list of Black Crane ones. I can use any Southern Tiger ready stance(s), I can pick things out of existing drills and forms or I can make stuff up, I can also ask for help from my other teachers if I want to. I think I can do that... I feel fairly comfortable that I can take a given situation and come up with a simple and classical "Southern Tiger" response to it. Leopard, too, if I feel like playing with that. (unlike Crane, Tiger and Leopard make SENSE!) Just as long as he's not thinking of making me teach these drills to the class.

I have been doing little mini-sessions of repping Spear Hand all week, and it's getting there. It is definitely taking more reps to memorize than even I am used to having to do... all those toe turns and little swirly finger flourishes. But it's coming along. While SK is teaching us this form, I am determined to not walk into a Sunday class and be stumbling over the previous week's piece. My breathing is still way too Tigery, and I've almost gotten well enough over the "what comes next" hurdle to start focussing on the breathing.