No pressure

The problems of today cannot be resolved by dwelling on the past. If you are doing that, the past isn't the problem, it's you. As much as the past may serve to preserve your identity, you hanging on to it isn't helping.

First it ignores your actions now. Second it keeps you from objectively viewing the situation -- including your part in it. Third, when you approach others with the attitude of blame and condemnation, you give them no reason to work with you. Fourth, by playing the victim, you give them no reason to trust you.

 The last is more important than you think. Because without trust, there is no possibility of resolution or change.
  -Marc MacYoung

-------------
A friend of mine recently got promoted to brown (congratulations again!). I realized that I haven't even thought about belts in a really long time. It's been great. I haven't gotten a promotion in forever, and it's been great. I'd still like to backtrack to, oh, one- or two- stripe blue if I had the choice.  But at least as long as I'm just parked here, I don't feel like I'm in the backseat of a driverless racecar careening down the highway. It's been great. I hope I never get promoted again.

Thursday lunchtime gi in Bellevue. I feel particularly tired this week for some reason. I felt exhausted waiting for class to start.

Standup: judo grips, stick right foot behind opponent's left foot. (Note, keep toe on the mat and not hooking the shin like I wanted to do. Also, Carlos corrected me on my positioning- I was ending up with my feet a long ways away from the opponent; I need to step in closer and pay attention to not sliding/dancing outward while executing this.)  Opponent steps out. You drop to your knee and pick up hir OTHER heel. Takedown. (Must also pay attention to where you try to put that foot when I pick it up- if I just fling it upward because I'm hyperfocused on the fall, I end up yanking it between my own legs and tangling us up.) Note that although an exaggerated upward elbow-fling before the knee-drop is discouraged, clearing that arm is important- and you also want to try to get the person off balance. Also note that there is a danger of getting caught in half guard after you dump hir and as you move to side control.

I am still working on my grips/hand positioning while doing things like this. I like the firm behind-the-heel grab, but for some reason in the heat of the moment I always seize the pants cuff further up. I think I'm subconsciously anxious about getting kicked in the face. But that higher grip makes it much harder/more unlikely to get the takedown, *MORE* likely to get kicked in the face because the opponent has more mobility and room to use leg strength, and also my ideal is to be less dependant on clothing grips so that my techniques will work in both gi and no-gi. My excellent aim should make it easier for me than for most people to whip in there and snag that heel. I should use my best weapons to their fullest extent.

Standing guard pass using thigh underhook. One thing Carlos touched on that got my attention- because it is a persistant sloppy habit of mine- is where to put your arms as you are passing, so that they are less attackable. In this case, he put his arm across the opponent's belly with the hand on the opposite hip.

People at GB (black belts excepted) do not attack my arms consistantly enough while I am passing to keep me honest. If I rolled more with Cindy- who NEVER misses the smallest opening for an arm attack while I am trying to pass- I might be able to break this habit.

Same guard pass, only opponent thwarts your pass to the side by hanging that leg heavy on your underhooking shoulder. Counter this by going around the opposite side. (I was actually a little bummed to have Chrisanne drilling this, as it is a pass defense I use a LOT, and now she has a good counter and is going to be jamming me, LOL....)

King Of the Hill, starting from any guard, pass vs sweep. I was not doing too great here today. I fought one white belt guy for a long time as he tried to "sweep" me with muscle, and finally had to give it to him..... sigh. Slightly frustrating. But this is one of the things that honestly bothers me a lot less when I'm not worrying about belts. I feel less like shit when I get manhandled by a white belt. Not that getting manhandled by white belts is a good thing.... but the self-loathing mental/emotional spirals are a lot more problematic than the butt-kicking.

Still parked at about 10lb over my normal walking-around weight. I *really* want to jettison at least those 10lb before my June trip. Starting to think that a series of short fasts might be the only way to budge it. Just kick a pound or two each time, then try to maintain for a bit.

Still raining consistantly, so little dog-walking/hiking.   :(

Speed Friday

Most people are grass-eaters with their heads down on the ground. The jackals and lions know this and think of them as that. Hold your head up and walk like you are the biggest, baddest lion that walks. The jackals and lions will notice and leave you alone because they don't want to get hurt. Don't challenge them because they might feel they have to respond to it. All you want is their respect, not their dignity. -Greg Hamilton



Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue. Earlier, I had walked 2 miles (I had a work meeting) and also made a verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry interesting visit to the Habitat For Humanity store- which I will elaborate upon later.

As usual, Kevin and I fought over who would defer to the other in line. I informed him that soon he would have another stripe and then he wouldn't be able to argue about it.

Tonight was a "drill as fast as you can" night. "Speed Friday" Carlos called it.

Ankle pick from standing- drop to right knee between opponent's knees, grab behind the top of hir calf with your right hand and behind hir ankle with your left. Stand up and pick up the ankle. Opponent's job: put both palms to mat and attempt to handwalk/scuttle away until footing can be regained.

Same ankle pick, only this time as opponent attempts to scuttle, you clasp that ankle against your body and grab at hir other ankle with your right hand. Carlos had to point out to me that those of us with short arms may need to "turn the corner" around opponent's body in order to reach that second ankle- don't just stay where you are and strain after it. Lift the second ankle, opponent will be twisted in the air to be dumped on hir back. Step between hir knees and push hir ankles to the mat (or to hir butt) to defend any DLR or other reguard attempts.

KOB to spinning armbar, armbarred person turns to push on knee and deliberately brings top knee up to bait a pantleg grab. If you fail to bring the knee up, the armbar-er may be moved to apply better technique and underhook your knee instead, which will make it difficult to do the next move- which is to straighten your leg to break the grip. Hitch hiker escape to pop your head up UNDER/BEHIND their butt, get up and move around to KOB. I was happy to practice that hitch hiker escape, as it is a technique that for some reason I always seem to be absent on the day it is taught/practiced, and I haven't worked it enough for it to be instinctual regarding which way to go. I have always (and still do) regard it as a bit of a hole in my game. I don't use it much, as I favor a yank of the elbow down to the mat (works great with my short arms)... but it is one of those basic techniques that every jiu jitsu artist should be able to do well.

Carlos kept urging us to go faster and faster, and began to pit couples against each other in speed. Of course Kevin and I, being the ranking belts in the room, could not allow mere white and blue belts to beat us- so we really turned it on. This resulted in some exhaustion-induced clumsiness (esp with the ankle pick) as the night progressed. At one point he went to his knee and then went shooting right on past me while I stood there and watched him slide by.

By the time we were done, I was reeling with exhaustion. I was gratified to see that Kevin (half my age) was tired as well. I would have liked to have a roll with Kev- but it was a challenge to keep my LOC up enough to safely complete the drive home, so I'm glad I didn't try to push it further.

Knees ache from all the up-down and from dropping onto the right knee a million times.

I love getting my tail kicked by Chrisanne.

At (long) range, you are taking fire. You may not know from where in that first instant. Hit or not, you have to MOVE. You were ambushed in this precise spot because it is the best place to kill you. You MUST get out of that spot (or “Off the X” as we say). –Rory Miller



Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue.  I was standing on the wall minding my own damn business waiting for class to start, and Casey comes over and grabs me and tries to hurl me to the ground. We end up thrashing around like a couple of weasels while the entire rest of the class stands there in line and watches, making comments about the "mutter...mutter... purple belts...."

Standing: ankle pick as yesterday. I'm noticing that with your lapel grip, you can shove the opponent to either side to finish the takedown. Pushing often works better (and is less work)  than pulling.

Bullfight pass to KOB

Failed bullfight pass to underhook both of hir thighs, stack, and pass. I don't try to set this up often- I feel vulnerable sticking both arms under like that- but I love the way the pass itself feels; I like to grab the tag of the opponent's pants and stack the crapola out of hir and then squish down on top of hir thigh until s/he's begging to let me pass. At the same time, you can grind into the throat and/or twist the head away by levering on the jaw with the other forearm. It's lovely.

Positional sparring from spider guard, varying goals. My suckage at passing spider guard is trumped only by my suckage at trying to sweep from spider guard. But I can hang out *IN* spider guard effortlessly defending the pass until the second coming of Christ.

Some epic sparring with Chrisanne. We started from standing multiple times. She got a couple of really sweet takedowns, and some lovely technical taps. Nice and tight. She is almost never on the bottom any more, and she is always attacking instead of waiting to react to what I do. When we scramble, she gets on top first. Her game has changed 180 from eight months ago. I love it when Chrisanne is kicking my tail. It makes me feel so proud. I am getting to the point of going close to full bore on her, too.

Del a Riva and reverse Del a Riva

It’s easy to say, reading this in a safe and cozy environment, what you would do. But that’s only what you THINK you would do. It’s like yelling at the TV screen at the quarterback what he should have done on the last play. You didn’t see what he saw, feel the pressure he felt. You’re simply judging it from a technical standpoint, minus the impact of how emotion affects judgment and performance. You can’t know what it feels like until you’ve lived it. –Campfire Tales From Hell



Thursday lunchtime in Bellevue.

Ankle pick. We were picking the opposite ankle, which was a little odd, and made me have to concentrate really really hard to remember which knee to drop onto. Note that an ankle pick means pick the ANKLE- not the shin, not the knee. Also note that you can't just pick it up without knowing (in advance- don't try to wing it) where you are going to take it and how you are going to avoid fouling up your own legs. Once you have all of THAT straightened out, you can start worrying about yanking the lapel to tip hir.

Standing pass of del a Riva guard. Jerk violently upright to dislodge the foot, shove your pantleg holds to the floor (DON'T LET GO OF THE PANTS), pass to the side and take KOB. Carlos continues to remind me that in the end, every teachnique is ideally ONE step. I get wrapped up in cataloging and counting out my steps. In particular, I tend to execute standing passes with several shuffling steps to the side (which Carlos sometimes mimes me doing; it looks hilarious with his telephone-pole-length legs). Just step once and drop.

Standing pass of an inside del a Riva guard. I am unfamiliar with inside del a Riva, so that was interesting just trying to get into the drill position. Kind of the same technique, only we ended in side control instead of KOB.

Many drills of these, then positional sparring from these positions (varying goals... sometimes pass vs resist, sometimes sweep vs resist, sometimes pass vs sweep, sometimes free-for-all).
At the end, he did one of my LEAST favorite things.... more drills and positional sparring interspersed with cardio (pushups, sprawls, burpees (which Chrisanne always calls "barfees")).  Chrisanne was tired as hell but kept fighting gamely through the positional sparring with a little encouragement.

One roll with Jason. He crucifixed me, which was impressive. He is one of the few people who makes it really difficult for me to pass top half guard... he stretches my leg out in lockdown. He also keeps putting his arm up by his head. I trapped him in a head-and-arm a few times, but was having a bitch of a time trying to free my leg enough to finish it (he kept doing lockdown and pulling me down just far enough that I couldn't get quite high enough to finish the choke).

Damn your spider guard

There is no need to travel to exotic places, load up on drugs, or drive one hundred miles an hour to feel alive. It is not necessary to look for particularly strong sensations, because when the five senses are awakened, every sensation is a strong one. The scent of the earth after a summer storm. The embrace of a lover. The vastness of the sky above. Small experiences that could travel through our consciousness without leaving any trace become the messengers of a beauty that cannot be measured. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

-----------------
Pic: After Defensive Folding Knife class at Insights Training, you get to try your new moves on a side of meat which has been duct-taped into a pair of blue jeans.
--------------------
Friday:
133.0

Spent an hour before work playing raquetball. I was defeated in an epic fashion, but it was a nice little workout.

Wore my ankle weights all day at work. I haven't done that in a while, largely because my knees and feet already hurt and I'm anxious about making the plantar fasciitis hurt worse than it already does. I probably won't be doing this every day (like I was was a few years ago), but I'll do it once in a while and see how it goes. May have to get a new pair of ankle weights.... this was a nice set (kind of a splurge), but I have worn them enough that they are... worn. And the velcro is starting to go.
--------------------------------------------------------
Sat:  133.5  (grrrrr) I had 910 calories yesterday, plus somebody at work gave me an unlabelled cookie that obviously put me over 1000. I had hoped that the hour of raquetball would let me get away with that single cookie, but apparently not.

I wore the ankle weights all day at work again.

 I have separated out a bunch of my too-baggy hospital scrubs for donation. Part of the reason it's easy to let a few extra pounds creep on is that I'm wearing pajamas (scrubs) at work, pajamas (gi) at class, and pajamas (pajamas) at home. Drawstring waistbands all the way, baby. Scrubs are supposed to be baggy, and nothing ever fits me anyway- but seriously, I have scrubs that I could fit four of me inside.
-----------------------------------------------
Sun: 132

Hello, normal-walking-around weight. It's been a little while since we checked in.

My Evil Twin is trying to cuisine-educate me. Back to the eggs.
-----------------------

Mon: 132
Tues: 132.5 (ankle weights)
Weds: 133 (Razzafrackin....)  (ankle weights)

I lost all semblance of culinary self-control today; which I suspect had less to do with feeling defeatist about that pound gain (altho there was that) and more to do with skipping my Crystal Light. I used to swill Dr Pepper all day, now I swill Crystal Light all day. I'd like to go off artificial sweeteners, but I made a conscious decision to use the Crystal Light as a crutch to wean myself off the soda. Well, today I skipped it, and did not attempt to replace it with plain water. The result: I think I was subconsciously searching for something to put in my mouth, and probably a little dehydrated as well. Lesson learned. My assistant plied me with carrots, otherwise it would have been even worse.

---------------------
Thurs: 133.5 (I deserve that)  I redeemed myself today, though- I walked right past a New York Cupcakes Shop. I did not go inside.


Thursday evening advanced class at Bellevue.  Drills. For some reason, we were doing 43 reps of everything today. It seemed to be some kind of inside joke that I was not privy to.

Standup: one lapel grip and one elbow grip. Go to pull guard (make sure you are a:stepping on the ELBOW GRIP side, and b:turning your toe out). Foe steps that leg back. Now you let go of the lapel and ankle pick his other leg.

Bullfight guard pass to front mount. Hang onto that far pantleg until you can use it to move the legs into place for your mount.

Opponent standing, you sitting before hir. Scoot forward and turn the corner, hug the leg. Place front palm on the mat. Technical lift, using heel to lift opponent's foot. Stand up and scoop opponent's leg up, hold it against your chest. (I was corrected on hand position here- do not allow fingers to splay out, you are asking for a broken finger.) Stand very close to opponent- hip to hip.

Bullfight guard pass, but foe turns toward you as you run around. You place your elbow on hir belt, then continue the turn so that your shoulder blades are on opponent and your belly to the ceiling. Now turn BACK the way you came, while scuttling around toward the head. Somehow the opponent's arm usually magically appears to be scooped up, and you finish in side control. Then front mount.

When I saw this last one, I was like, "No way." But it actually turned out to be really smooth- altho only on one side. Every time I tried to do it on the Stupid Side, I messed it up.

Ron: Errrk....Oooh!

Kitsune: Are you okay?

Ron: Yeah.

Kitsune: Seriously- am I being too heavy?

Ron: Good shoulder pressure.

I had mentioned to him earlier that I could tell he was being nice- thank you- but his top pressure was still really, really, good.

“Damn your spider guard…..”   I’m pretty sure that was a compliment from a biggish blue belt to me……

Kirkland

…Their minds are always hyperactive, too caught up in the unstoppable flow of thoughts to pay any attention to the ecstasy dancing in front of their noses. They don’t know what it means to live in a body that doesn’t just serve as a machine carrying the mind from one place to another. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path



134.0

In my week of experimentation with calorie counting, the sad fact has emerged that I have to stay below 1000 cals per day just to avoid gaining. If I want to lose, I have to be well under 1000 *and* go to at least one class.

Bring on the zombocalypse! I will be able to survive (and fight) on one kernel of corn per day.



Evening BJJ at KIRKLAND! First night of class. This pod is close to my place and I think the commute traffic on the streets between should not be awful. It's a nice space. 2 big, nicely remodeled bathrooms (1 with a shower), a roomy women's changing room, garage door at the far end of the mat
to open when it's hot, high ceilings.

The only thing I *don't* like about it is that it's right next door to the ferret rescue- which opens up the horrid possibility of running into SK at some point. Hopefully he is too busy to be volunteering. Hopefully he has moved very far away. Hopefully he has been abducted by aliens.

I sneaked up behind Will and choked him, leading into a warm-up roll.

Standup: Pummelling. Then: pummeling to ankle pick.

Then: One partner stands, the other lies on hir back. "Down" person sits up, scoots in and turns the corner to end hugging the leg and pressing back of shin with shoulder. Side to side.

Finally: Standup, one sleeve cuff grap and one lapel grip. Step on opponent's hip on the same side that you have the sleeve cuff grip. Drop onto back, swing free leg out wide, square up and place both feet on opponent's hips. Let go of lapel and grab behind foe's ankle. On CUFF GRIP side, take foot off hip and spider guard. Pretend you're going to push opponent over backward.... but suddenly jerk hir arm across your own body and pull the ankle to make hir face plant instead. Get up, KEEP ANKLE and push it ahead of you as you get up to avoid the closed guard.

Picture time- I declined to be in the photo, so they had me be the photographer.

Three rolls with that good blue belt guy from Edmonds- he dominated me utterly and tapped me three times.

Then I rested a bit and cuddled Pat's dog- who tried to french-kiss me as usual. You really need to keep your face well out of Mochi's reach. After he licked both of my arms from wrist to shoulder, he settled down and gave me his back. I called Pat's attention over, and pretended to RNC his dog.

A little rolling with Lindsey, who was on top most of the time, and tapped me with a keylock. Then they were shooing us out.