Breaking up is hard to do

You can use a strong wrestler's strength against him, but it is almost impossible to defend against a mental edge. Every time you execute a move, the smarter wrestler will counter, attack and counter. The smarter wrestler,  the wrestler with the better technique, with the better inventory of moves, with the agility and mental toughness to keep coming at you, is the wrestler who will win.-Kyle Maynard


Thursday BJJ at Bellevue: all spars.

Friday I missed. I spent the first half of the day in bed with a headache and extreme exhaustion. I felt somewhat better in the afternoon, but decided to not push my luck with getting repeatedly hurled o the ground and throttled.  This turned out to be a fortunate thing, as my house nearly burned down that evening- and that is an that you don't really want to miss. The animals and I were evacuated and spent 2 days sleeping on Cindy's floor. ("The house is really dirty," she says when I call her to inform her that all five of us are inviting ourselves over for an indefinite length of time. "Cindy, my standards right now are very low. If it's not ON FIRE, it will look great to me.") Luckily the area fire department was on point and they did not let my house burn down. Tense weekend, though.

Thursday- all spars again. I got an armbar on Amy that I was very pleased with- it was from a weird position and I am still not great at sussing those out. Amy beats me now 7 times out of every 8, so it was that much more the sweeter. (Note that I need to remember she is VERY GOOD at grabbing kimuras as I pass her guard. She got me *TWICE* with the same routine.) I managed to mess up my shoulder.... I had a few moments of "I should really tap now, but I DON'T WANNA tap...." Thought I was over that crap, but the ego still rears its ugly head once in a while. And now I pay.

Thought I might have to sit out Friday due to shoulder, but Chrisanne said she'd come in, so I went (feeling safe in her hands).

Standing guard pass to KOB

Standing guard pass to KOB to kimura

Standing guard pass to KOB to armbar

I was happy that I am finally remembering consistantly to grab the pants with that armbar. I am also now able to usually remember to pin the opponent between my shin and knee. Still need to get a bit better about clasping the forearm to my chest (grab my own lapel if need be). Carlos also wants me to clasp the forearm more closely to my chest in the kimura.

A little positional sparring from spider guard- pass vs defend.

So there's where it happened.... I stacked Chrisanne- not much, but apparently too much- and hurt her neck.  I was horrified to have hurt her YET AGAIN, and Carlos walked over and told us we had to stop seeing each other for a while.

I feel terrible. I have always prided myself on my control, and on being able to be careful while working with smaller and less experienced opponents. Right now I am feeling insecure about something that I have always felt was one of my biggest strengths in BJJ.  It is making me feel tentative, and I hate that- I have been fighting "tentative" in myself all along and this is feeding my dragon.

 Chrisanne is difficult because I know she does not want me to go easy on her.... and she's good enough that if I *do* go easy on her, she's just going to dominate me to the point that it's not going to be useful for either of us. I'm pretty sure she would be pissed off at me if I started doing that.

Also- she had had a shitty day. She felt allergy-ill and didn't plan to come in, and then she had some bad crap happen to her and decided to come and and blow off some frustration. I feel really awful that instead of helping her do that, I ended up making her feel worse.

In better news: I have managed to drop 14 of the 15lb that I gained from being on sleeping pills. I am relieved. I didn't like being that weight- it felt like I was wearing a fat suit. going to have to be very careful from now on.

The head: a vulnerable design flaw

  Curious friend: “What is guard, what does that mean?”
Me: “It means I can kick your ass while I’m sitting on mine.”   -Ginger Snaps



Thursday evening no-gi in Bellevue.

Carlos still called us "girls" a couple of times, but I think he was making a conscious effort and trying not to.  ;)

I stupidly tried to put in my contacts in the car with too little light, and ended up losing one. It felt like it was still folded up in there, but I could not find the damn thing. I had to call Amy (she's a nurse when she's not kicking ass in the cage) off the mat to poke around in my eye, but she couldn't find it either. I had to work blind. I still don't know what happened to it. Eye is all swollen up.... hope I won't have to go to the Urgent Care for this. At least I was able to do the class and then drive myself home.

Driving drills- pummelling, shoulder throws, armbars from mount, standing rear naked choke defense to takedown with shoulder lock to KOB. Drilling with Amy, you know you are going to work hard.
The shoulder throw ends with the thrower on both knees... I always want to cheat this because my knees hurt. Really need to get way UNDER opponent, and snug hir armpit right into you hard, then sort of meld into one with hir as you bow to the mat. Then you have to unmeld in time to not go over with hir, but  move to KOB.

Carlos yelled at me for trying to cheerlead a white belt through her last set of armbars. Usually this is a thing he encourages, so I was confused and hurt. Two minutes later, he was sitting in a corner with his shirt pulled over his head. Turns out he had a massive migrane. I'm choosing to believe it was this that caused him to snap at me, and not that he hates me.

Four years ago- or even two years ago- this small event would have sent me into an epic spiral of self-hate and doubt and flagellation..... "Carlos yelled at me... he hates me....I can't face him again..... I suck....did I really do something wrong? It's probably because of that exchange we had last week about "girls" vs "women".... that's why he hates me.... was I out of line with that? I suck..... Was I rude and inappropriate to that white belt? Did I make her feel uncomfortable? Did I look like an ass in front of the whole class? Everybody hates me..... I hate myself..... I suck..... I can never face any of these people again....." Yeah, stupid, I know. And yet. Welcome to the world of anxiety disorders.  I don't know if it's being on meds, or feeling more comfortable with Carlos after five years, or just maturity- but I didn't spiral too badly this time. I spiraled some. But not with the usual severity.  And I made a point of facing him on Friday and asking if his head felt better, instead of slinking away because I was sure he hated me.

Friday women's class: Same shoulder throw we did yesterday; another standing rear naked choke defense ending in a reap instead of the shoulder lock and pulling-to-floor; and the donkey-kick standing guard pass to KOB. I have done this donkey-kick thing enough now to know where my trouble issues are. It really needs to happen in 3 steps, not twenty because I am shuffling my feet around trying to get them in the correct position for the KOB. Getting it down to 3 steps requires beginning with the outside foot planted WAY out, not beside opponent's body, it requires actually USING the push-and-bounceback of the shin on the opponent's thigh instead of just going through the motions, and it requires HOPPING that outside foot in and donkeying the other leg back IN THE SAME MOTION. Once I get really focused, I can do it, but the stupid side is very stupid. The hunching over is also tough on my back.

On the last round of reap drill reps, Chrisanne's breakfall was less than optimal, and she got her chimes rung pretty bad. I felt terrible. I have quit treating her like an egg and usually go about 85% on her, but I may need to backpedal and be a little more gentle. Of course, she tried to get right up and continue, but Carlos and Doug and I told her in no uncertain terms that she needed to just lie there for a minute. They put me with Christy, who is training for Pans, and churning out guard pass reps like a damn machine. I was in awe, and said so. Her throws are also painful. I didn't take any bad falls like Chrisanne did, but drilling two complete throws in one class to the extent that we did was a bit much. Just a lot of constant brain jarring. My head ached all night and still aches this morning. I had to take an ibuprofen, which I almost never do. I pinged Chrisanne to make sure she was alive, and she is. After she had refused my offer of a ride home,  I had quizzed her on concussion symptoms, and made her promise that if she had any, she would ask her son's girlfriend to drive her to the Urgent Care. I know this isn't really my fault (or at least MOSTLY not my fault), but I still feel awful. Chrisanne had a terrible week at work, and I put the cherry on top by almost giving her a concussion. (And not that this is important- weighted beside giving Chrisanne a concussion- but it did cross my mind that this incident is not going to do anything good for Carlos' apparent view of me as a reckless, dangerous Godzilla on the mat.)

My head ached too much to consider the all-levels class that came after this one- even if I'd had the energy, which I don't think I did.

The dog workout

Giving in to the urge to tell someone to fuck off can have lifetime results. Odds are good this guy will be out of your face and life in a few moments. But if you give in to the impulse, well, remember every time you “play”, you’re taking a chance.   –Campfire Tales From Hell



Well, it was not the caffeine. Nor the sugar.

I stayed on one soda per day (first thing in the morning) for a week.. Hardly any sugar, either. There was not one iota of change in my sleep patterns, my anxiety level, my energy level, or my weight. I am going to have to go to the doctor. Upside: now I can have my Dr Pepper, since I have proven that it doesn't do a damn thing to me.

Went hiking with CK last week- Twin Falls and Deception Creek. We were both tired, and not pushing hard physically. On her last day, we did a little stance work. Once again, just STANDING with CK is more exhausting than sparring with anyone else.

I got the dog on Wednesday. Well, dogS.... because I have White Knight Complex, I was unable to say no to the elderly dog's elderly buddy... and I consider myself damn lucky to have not ended the week with all three of them. The second dog is a foster- meaning I do not have to pay his vet bills. I have too many pets right now. It is a stressor. But they are all elderly or special-needs or both, and let's be real- chances are that one or another of them will kick off soon and I will be back to four, which is a number I feel I can cope with.

We are doing a ton of walking (which was part of the point of obtaining a dog). Up and down the neighbor's driveway, mostly, a ten-minute dirt-road stroll through the woods.  Yesterday we walked for two hours around Al Borlin Nature trail and downtown Monroe (where we were attacked  by a purse dog). Today we went to Big Eddy, which is only about 1.5 miles from my place.

The dog I picked is exactly what I wanted. She basically walks when I want to walk, and otherwise she is napping and completely unobtrusive and undemanding. It's like having a hiking buddy that you take out of a drawer when you want to walk, and then put away when you are done. The foster is proving to be more high-maintenence (no good deed goes unpunished). He's a dear, but he has a dismaying amount of energy for an elderly dog, and is constantly in my face. Tonight he was dragging me along on the leash (he wanted to RUN!!!), and when I tried to wear him out afterward with rowdy playing in the dog run, he wore ME out instead. Well, he is certainly going to be forcing me to get plenty of extra walking. It's going to be challenging for me to try to keep up with him, and even more challenging for my poor dog (who is game, but arthritic, and her legs are about half the length of his).


Thursday evening no-gi in Bellevue. It was fun to drill with Peter.

Pummelling, double-leg setups, Standing guard passes. Standing guard pass to KOB. Standing guard pass to KOB to back take. Two or three variations of the bottom person trying to defend, and the top person switching gears and completing the pass in a different way. I would have liked to get down the details of these, but I didn't blog it last night like I should have, and now the details are escaping my mind.

King of the hill: pass vs sweep, pass vs resist/submit. I got spanked; I drew exclusively very talented people. I did achieve one guard pass on a guy which surprised me. I hope he didn't hand it to me.

Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue. Drill-Till-Ya-Puke night. All from standing guard passes, which is a real bitch on my knees (and my thighs). Standing guard pass to KOB. Standing guard pass to KOB to armbar. Standing guard pass to KOB to kimura. After working with each of these for a few minutes, we drilled each 100 times. I had to hustle to keep up with Chrisanne, whose Monkey Bar Gym work and clean eating have me eating her dust. My thighs are on fire. I did well with remembering to grab the pants on the armbar. Also worked on pinching my knees together, a persistant failing of mine. I did less well with the kimura. I get lazy with the grips, especially when I am tired and trying to go fast.  The many, many, fast standing guard pass reps put me in a dangerous place- when I get really tired, I am prone to rolling my ankle out and twisting it badly. I did that tonight, but fortunately it was not too severe- I was able to continue, and it's not swelling or aching much at all later (thank you gods).

Chrisanne and I had wanted to spar after, but we were both too wiped out.

My thighs are going to be twin pillars of pain in the morning. Not looking forward to being hauled along that dirt road, but it will be the best thing for them. (A little hair of the dog, har har.)

There are no anonymous mouthguards.

Will you spend your time and pursue your training in a doomed attempt to not die? Or will you train to live harder and truer? –Campfire Tales From Hell



Thurs no-gi in Bellevue:

There was a massive, delicious-smelling buffet in the lobby when I walked in. I walked right by. Carlos told me that there was food (like I could have missed it). I said, "I didn't come here to eat." I thought he'd like that, but he informed me that I was being rude. Again with the awkwardness and frustration of trying to make better diet decisions in a world that constantly wants to shove food in your face. And again with the cultural minefields. Five years with this guy and I still can't always figure out what's going to offend him.

Pummelling.

Pummelling to backtake.

You have butterfly guard. Hug opponent around torso, lie back- load and lift.
Same, only now opponent whizzers you on one side. Grab hir wrist and hold it there while you remove your arm. Press hir wrist to hir own belly as you use your free arm to hug hir around the torso, lie back, and load-lift.

Same, only now as you lie back, yank hir arm hard across your bodies and kick with your opposite foot to spin the opponent and drop hir into your back mount. Hooks. Choke. Note- don't forget to grab hir wrist in the backmount. This is a detail that I persistantly forget across multiple techniques.

You standing, opponent sitting. Rocking-chair hir back. S/he sits up and wraps hir left arm around your right thigh. Dive your right hand UNDER hir arm. Place the blade of your left forearm on the back on hir neck. Gable grip. Sprawl. (ow... this made me want to tap right then... neck crank and spine bend.... and I was scared of what would come next) Rotate your arm circle so that your left bicep is facing the mat. Kick right leg through and drop to the mat. Head and arm choke. If you can't get it, inch your body toward opponent so that your chest/belly cranks it worse (ow). I'm so happy I was doing this with Chrisanne. If it had been some big dumb whitebelt, I think I would have faked a stomachache and bailed. It was scary enough with Chrisanne.

Two phenomenal rolls with Chrisanne and one phenomemal roll with Danny.

Walked past the buffet a second time.


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Fri gi in Bellevue.

Same agenda, minus the head-and-arm, and plus this:

After the pummelling and backtake, your attacker lifts your feet off the floor in a bearhug. You need to achieve a slight shift to the side before s/he lifts you. Then you can hook a shin around hir chin from the outside as you are lifted, preventing hir from lifting you any higher or from throwing you. As s/he drops your feet to the floor, you bend your knees, reach between them, and grab hir foot. Yank. As soon as you have hir on hir back, kneebar. Then drop the leg, lift the foot that is between hir legs, and pivot to move to KOB. You can add a face/throat strike here (this is self defence), or- if you are working with Chrisanne- you can beep her nose.

Many drill reps, as Carlos is wont to due on Friday nights.  Chrisanne and I had aching legs from the night before. I started out the butterfly boosts really strong (it was fun and felt good) but I slowed down considerably as time went on. Chrisanne gained eight pounds with each set. It was partially that I was already sore from the previous night's reps, and partially that I was glucose-deficient (I had eaten lunch, but run errands before class, and should have bought a sandwich or something before going in), but mostly it was the fact that I am old.

I got a compliment from Carlos on my butterfly sweep to backtake- he liked my snappy foot kick as I twirled my enemy into my back mount. Chrisanne and I were both struggling a bit with the the fact that we were tired enough by then to make the technique quite physically challenging to complete even if we felt like we knew/understood the steps.

Positional training from butterfly guard. I suck from butterfly guard. Chrisanne is better at this than I am. She swept me two or three times, and I got squat.

I was too hungry to stay for sparring. It was punishingly hot and muggy, too.

Carlos (pointing at a random mouthguard lying on the floor): "Rodney! Your mouthguard!"

Me (wonderingly): "You can identify everybody's mouthguards on sight?"

Yes. He can.

Some old guy already taught me that one.

Ultimately your mind and intellect are what save you, your body is the tool they use. So keep the tool in good working order, but tune up the engine. Campfire Tales From Hell


Friday BJJ in Bellevue.

Bullfight passing of spider guard. After bringing foe's feet together and planting them on the mat, grab hir right wrist with your left hand (the WRIST, not the gi sleeve). Keep the pants cuff on the other side. Step beside hir right hip with your near foot and give a good ceilingward yank at both wrist and pants cuff before moving to KOB.  You may then be able to transition to an armbar- but make sure you FIRST trap the arm firmly between your knees and THEN clear opponent's grip on your sleeve cuff before re-grabbing the wrist and applying the armbar (one foot over hir neck and the other knee folded with your toe under hir ribs). Unsurprisingly, my biggest problem proved to be remembering to grab the leg (ideally both legs, although with my stubby arms I'm not going to count on that) before dropping back into the armbar. Also, as soon as I tried to speed up, I started getting sloppy about clearing the sleeve grip. I asked why it was necessary to clear the sleeve grip at all... it seemed to me that clearing it is just an invitation for the opponent to try to yank hir arm down in an attempt to get out of the armbar. Carlos explained that it may be difficult to maneuver the hand into position at the apex of the armbar if s/he still has your sleeve. (I think you could probably muscle that.... if you've got them well and truly trapped in the armbar, that cuff grip is not going to save them except in cases of extreme muscle disparity... but even in a comp I would prefer to not muscle that.)

Opponent bearhugs you from behind. Lower stance, bring your hands up to your chest to free forearms, and cover hir hands on your chest with your own hands. Step slightly to the right and stick your left foot behind hir feet. Kneel on right knee and plant right shoulder on the mat, making sure to drive downward forcefully enough and hold tight enough that opponent can't free hir hands before getting tossed over your shoulder. Go with the roll and end in a T shape with your shoulder blades on opponent's chest. Keep butt off the mat and apply as much weight as possible as you roll toward hir feet and move to side control, then KOB.

I have done both of these before, and felt comfortable enough to go decently fast *and* work them both sides. Armbar portion turned out to be much tighter on the Stupid Side, although my brain was very slow to grasp the guard pass from the Stupid Side.

A little KOTH, open guard pass vs defend the pass, me down in open guard the entire time. Lots of white belts- so I spent some time explaining what a guard pass is, some time telling a small woman to try to experiment with different positions and movements instead of trying to simply muscle out of spider guard, and some time getting Captain Cavemanned by muscley spazzy male white belts.

A roll with 2 white belts and one with Doug.

First white belt was strong and spazzy, so I was mostly just trying to control him. Let him have an upa, since he performed it correctly.

Hip-threw and then subbed the second white belt several times, explained about turning and shrimping out from under KOB, and explained about keeping the chin to the chest while I was groping for chokes.

I have rolled with Doug enough that I am recognizing a lot of his sneaky little traps and refusing to fall into them.  (freezing in the middle of a guard pass that I know is going to result in a sweep) "Gee, I think I'll slide right into side control LIKE AN IDIOT. Some old guy taught me that one. You're going to need to come up with some new tricks, Doug."  He also let me get that same one on HIM... I was excited that I 1)remembered it, and 2)was able to make it work, as it's kind of complicated and not at all intuitive.

Speed Friday

Most people are grass-eaters with their heads down on the ground. The jackals and lions know this and think of them as that. Hold your head up and walk like you are the biggest, baddest lion that walks. The jackals and lions will notice and leave you alone because they don't want to get hurt. Don't challenge them because they might feel they have to respond to it. All you want is their respect, not their dignity. -Greg Hamilton



Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue. Earlier, I had walked 2 miles (I had a work meeting) and also made a verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry interesting visit to the Habitat For Humanity store- which I will elaborate upon later.

As usual, Kevin and I fought over who would defer to the other in line. I informed him that soon he would have another stripe and then he wouldn't be able to argue about it.

Tonight was a "drill as fast as you can" night. "Speed Friday" Carlos called it.

Ankle pick from standing- drop to right knee between opponent's knees, grab behind the top of hir calf with your right hand and behind hir ankle with your left. Stand up and pick up the ankle. Opponent's job: put both palms to mat and attempt to handwalk/scuttle away until footing can be regained.

Same ankle pick, only this time as opponent attempts to scuttle, you clasp that ankle against your body and grab at hir other ankle with your right hand. Carlos had to point out to me that those of us with short arms may need to "turn the corner" around opponent's body in order to reach that second ankle- don't just stay where you are and strain after it. Lift the second ankle, opponent will be twisted in the air to be dumped on hir back. Step between hir knees and push hir ankles to the mat (or to hir butt) to defend any DLR or other reguard attempts.

KOB to spinning armbar, armbarred person turns to push on knee and deliberately brings top knee up to bait a pantleg grab. If you fail to bring the knee up, the armbar-er may be moved to apply better technique and underhook your knee instead, which will make it difficult to do the next move- which is to straighten your leg to break the grip. Hitch hiker escape to pop your head up UNDER/BEHIND their butt, get up and move around to KOB. I was happy to practice that hitch hiker escape, as it is a technique that for some reason I always seem to be absent on the day it is taught/practiced, and I haven't worked it enough for it to be instinctual regarding which way to go. I have always (and still do) regard it as a bit of a hole in my game. I don't use it much, as I favor a yank of the elbow down to the mat (works great with my short arms)... but it is one of those basic techniques that every jiu jitsu artist should be able to do well.

Carlos kept urging us to go faster and faster, and began to pit couples against each other in speed. Of course Kevin and I, being the ranking belts in the room, could not allow mere white and blue belts to beat us- so we really turned it on. This resulted in some exhaustion-induced clumsiness (esp with the ankle pick) as the night progressed. At one point he went to his knee and then went shooting right on past me while I stood there and watched him slide by.

By the time we were done, I was reeling with exhaustion. I was gratified to see that Kevin (half my age) was tired as well. I would have liked to have a roll with Kev- but it was a challenge to keep my LOC up enough to safely complete the drive home, so I'm glad I didn't try to push it further.

Knees ache from all the up-down and from dropping onto the right knee a million times.

Not quite cauliflower

Maintaining honor and winning are indirect goals. Killing is a direct goal. Working toward direct goals peels a lot of bullshit off of your tactics.  –Rory Miller



Lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

Standup: double leg setups.

Then, double-leg setup switching to a rear bear hug. Trap the far arm (not the one on the side you circled around on), and point your face toward the trapped arm so that you don't get an elbow in the nose.

I thought I could go without my headgear for a while..... it's so damn hot.... and wound up getting "not-quite-cauliflower-but-getting-there". Just from pressing the side of my head against the guy's gi while I was doing the double-leg setups. Silver lining: this does prove that I'm being good about keeping my head up and pasted well against his side.

Armbars from KOB.

Spar with John. I managed to twist my bad ankle. I'm limping on it now, which ticks me off because I have a day of hiking planned tomorrow.

Spar with Amy, finally. She is pretty tough, but I was happy to see that I could handle her. I did notice a few improvement points for her, which I hope were helpful.
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Evening BJJ in Bellevue.

Double leg setups again, which I was not thrilled about due to my gimpy ankle and the fact that my knees where still whimpering about the previous round of double leg setups. Carlos showed us a new one, involving grabbing both heels  (one from the outside, one from the inside). He didn't really talk about the shoulder pressure on the leg, but I was pleased to note that even though I have never seen anything like this before, I was able to ID that shoulder pressure on that particular spot as the REAL meat of the technique.

You are in side control and moving to mount, opponent bridges toward you, you pop over hir back and S-mount. Advance to armbar or ezekiel, depending on whether the arm is over or under yours. I struggled with this because I had to keep pausing to note where the arm was and then try to remember which option that meant taking.

A little KOtH from closed guard, pass vs sweep. I did pretty poorly at this, despite the fact that we were divided into 3 weight classes and I didn't have to deal with the behemoths tonight. I was getting pretty tired by this time.

One roll with Lindsey. I got a tap, which made me happy, as she makes me work for it.

I'm having some trouble keeping my weight from creeping up, now that I'm taking a break from comps. I'm trying to gear up to go on a little diet. I think disciplining myself about snacking at work is going to be a major key right now.

I'll never forget....

To achieve an elite standard of personal performance usually requires a fair amount of natural ability, motivation and commitment. It does not follow that an elite martial artist also has the ability to pass those skills on to others at all levels. In fact, the opposite is usually true. To become an elite performer usually means that the student has natural ability and therefore learns skills quickly and easily. A great degree of self-motivation and commitment is also required and such performers generally find little difficulty in applying themselves to the rigors of training, grading and competition. Since very few students achieve such high levels of performance, too often a coach does not understand the needs of these "lesser mortals" who are in fact the majority. When one looks at specific groups such as junior, female, male, elderly, competitive, aggressive, shy, introverted, or combinations of these, many martial arts coaches in the past have been- to say the least- underprepared.    Tony Gummerson, "Teaching Martial Arts"


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Friday:
I read a book that basically gutted me. Have you ever read a book in which the sadist- I mean the author- makes you totally fall in love with a character and then tortures that character with an endless litany of events that are a thousand times worse than death? Till you're almost hoping the poor sap just buys it, but you don't think you can handle that? I read a *LOT*, and this is only the second book that has made me feel like that to an extent that it made me feel actually traumatized. In addition, I've only read 4 books in my life in which a character death has made me cry. So this was a double-slam. And it was book 3 in a series, so I was already in love with the character by the start of book 3... there was no lead-in or warm-up, she started torturing my poor dear on page 1 and didn't stop till the epilogue. I didn't really want to read book 3, because by the end of book 2 I knew there was absolutely no way this was going to not end in savage and bitter heartbreak... but I couldn't bear to not find out what happened.

I know this is partly because I've had a difficult week and incredibly little sleep, but I'm feeling really gutted and raw right now.
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Thursday:
Lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue. Standing guard pass drills to KOB to start. These squat-heavy techniques are hard on me and John, especially at the beginning of class, when it's THIS hot, and when it goes on for about five years. Prof. Herbert had the timer set to ding every twenty seconds, so every twenty seconds we would stop, panting, and look pleadingly at him- but he made us keep going.... and going.... and going.....

Same thing, only starting from spider guard. When opponent straightens one leg, you step on the thigh of the OTHEr (bent) leg and pass to that side, yanking both the leg and sleeve as you move into KOB.

Same thing yet again, but now instead of KOB, paste the top of your foot to the opponent's shoulder blade and place the other one over hir neck. Armbar. This was a classic Herbert move- he likes these things where he gets his strong, short legs in there and hooks his toes all over you and plasters himself to you like a leech, then subs you to death. As usual, what works well for him seems to be working well for me, although of course he does it about a zillion times faster and more gracefully. But I was already nicely set up to segue into this, as I had been setting up a bit of a straight armbar while doing the KOB.

A little positional sparring from spider guard.

Sparring with John, then Ed. Ed ankle locked me about ten times in a row. He looks like he could be doing his taxes while he tools me.
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Evening in Bellevue:

Luis is injured and specifically asked me if I would work with him. I know this is mostly because I am tiny, but I do like to think there's at least a LITTLE aspect of me being trustworthy and safe for the injured to work with. He did, however, bring up that time I ran over to him while he was lying on the mat and dropped into front mount and apparently did not catch myself QUITE as high on my knees as I had intended- he moaned like he was dying, and I felt AWFUL.... that happened about 3 years ago and I'll never forget it- but I was really hoping that he had!!!! No such luck!!! I asked him if he still loves me anyway, and he said yes.

He let me do more than my share of the drills, since they were hurting his injury... although he had to tell me several times to be heavier (I was trying to be gentle on his injury). When he admonished me to be heavier in N/S, I whined that I was trying to not smother him with my enormous belly. He laughed for a really long time when I said that.

"Around the world" flow drills: side control to scarf to N/S to scarf to side control, etc etc. At the end, we did some front mount as well. Luis suggests using my forehead heavy on opponent's belly in N/S. It was quite immobilizing when he demo'ed it on me.

N/S, pull both of your opponent's gi tails under hir armpits and snug them in as tight as you can. If s/he is wiggling around, it actually makes this easier than if s/he is just lying there. Then hop up to your feet and step forward so that you force opponent into a sitting position. There should be very little pulling involved, unless you really WANT to work that hard for some reason. Sit back down in back mount and squeeze opponent between your knees. Grab for the choke immediately. When s/he goes to defend the choke, sink the hooks in and immediately roll to the side (NOT to your back, and make sure you pick the correct (pillow) side).

Everyone has been asking me if I've had a chance to work with Amy (Dex's wife, blue belt, professional MMA fighter), and she was there tonight, it's the first time I've ever seen her. I would have liked to spar with her, but not in the shape I was in at that juncture. She has a big-deal fight scheduled next month and is training very seriously right now, and I was way too tired at that point to be able to press her.

Welcome to jiu jitsu.

The duelist is interested in winning, in maintaining honor. The professional (criminal) is interested in killing, as quickly and efficiently as possible.  –Rory Miller



Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue.

White belt #1: "How's your knee doing?"

White belt #2: "It's a little better now, but yesterday I wrenched the &#^$ out of my elbow......"

Kitsune: "Welcome to Jiu Jitsu, where you repeatedly acquire a new injury before your previous injury has healed. You will never be healthy again."

To their credit, they seemed psyched by this instead of troubled. Those are the types that might stick it out.

Standup, judo grips. Take your foot on the side that you're gripping the LAPEL (and note that in this technique you want a deep, back-of-the-neck grip), and cross it so that you whack opponent's opposite shin with your instep. Stomp the foot to the floor between hir feet, turn, and jerk partner off balance with the gi grips. You are shoving hir down with the lapel grip and pulling hir toward you with a twist using the sleeve grip. (I love these takedowns that involve twisting the person so that the back of their shoulder is forced toward the floor.) Now kick your heel up (the same active foot that you were using before) and displace the leg. If your jerk was effective, the opponent's weight should be on that leg and s/he should go down as if poleaxed.

If this does not work, follow up by shoving opponent away from you while you use the same active foot to shoot out and inward-hook opponent's OTHER leg.

Ideally you want to have control of that knee as s/he lands on hir back. I had to ask Prof Herbert which grip to release in order to do that. You release the lapel grip and grab for the inside of the knee pantleg grip. I guess it was a good question, as he then chose to build upon the technique thusly:

Now that you have the person on the ground on hir back with one knee between your knees, and you have an elbow grip (on the outside) and a pantleg grip (inside of knee)..... donkey-kick that inside leg out and go to KOB.

Next: opponent turns in to you and pushes on your knee. Now armbar.

Chrisanne and I discovered that doing the takedown on one's stupid side- while not very much more difficult- resulted in the opponent having a MUCH harder time both staying balanced as well as being able to do anything helpful while falling. This would only be true of right-handed people, presumably. But the difference was marked enough that it would be reasonable to make a concerted effort to drill this on the dumb side.

One roll with Chrisanne and one with that flexible blue belt guy (I really need to remember his name....) I got a choke on him that he was very admiring of. Many people have been praising me a lot lately. It doesn't seem to be having any effect at all on my poor self-appraisal.

That elderly tiny white belt *looked* harmless enough.

The physical part has never been the hard part of self-defense.  Knowing when to act, trusting your judgment, giving yourself permission to do what needs to be done and doing all this from a position of physical and mental disadvantage while surprised-- that's the hard part.  –Rory Miller


Thursday two-fer at Bellevue. I weighed 132 first thing in the morning, naked.

Standing guard pass to KOB.

Same entry, then opponent crosses foot over top and places it on your hip preparatory to replacing guard. Grab the ankle, shove hir sideways, KOB again.

Same as above, only when you KOB, opponent turns on side and shoves at your knee. Twirl around hir head and KOB on the other side. My past dance training tends to allow me to do this type of thing quickly and gracefully (and without kicking my compadre in the head), but it often takes me about three extra foot placements than it takes Carlos.

Lots of drills of these. Exhausting and painful on the knees.

Two spars- Prof Lindsey and Rocky. Lindsey was fun. Rocky was frustrating.

Between classes I went back to Mohlbaks. Why do I do this? I can't afford to go nuts in Mohlbaks right now. Plus, I had told myself firmly that I was NOT buying any more bamboo untill I see if my first batch survives the winter outside. Guess what I walked out with? And horseradish. And two more foxgloves. I was excited to find a yellowish variety. All the volunteers that are coming up in my yard are pink, every last one. I was less excited after I went to Home Depot for dirt, and found yellow foxgloves at 1/3 what I had paid at Mohlbaks.

Evening class. Chrisanne had promised to show up, but she got trapped by the lockdowns at SPU yesterday. This was a bummer because I was feeling pretty damn tired, and I probably would have gone home had I not had a date to bar Chrisanne's arm. Sparring with Rocky had knocked the physical and emotional energy out of me.

You in closed guard- put one foot on floor beside opponent's hip, stand and turn hips exaggeratedly out as if you are standing on a surfboard. Slide knee over opponent's thigh and pass to side control.

Same, only this time you scoop under opponent's thigh and pass the other way. Note that Carlos wants the THUMB in the lapel unless you are trying to do a cross collar choke. This is a bad habit for me, but I did notice that when John did it as instructed, this put the blade of his forearm right in my throat, which was unpleasant.

A few spars. Nadine kicked my ass as usual. Spider guard is really the only thing that wards her off, and only for a little while. That blue belt guy with previous experience in something- he's really good. Kevin, who is always fun and competitive and doesn't smash me, although he always grabs my bad ankle. Blue-belt Peter, always was nice to play with him. For my last spar, I grabbed a tiny little elderly-looking white belt that I've never seen before. That little guy was *SO* tight on top, it was incredible. Nice passes, too. It was a relief when Carlos awarded that guy his blue belt at the end of class.   Even so, I got dominated a lot today and felt kind of demoralized by the time I went home.

Ankle is still a little tender- it's giving me some problems when it's on the mat outside-down (the way it rolled out), shrimping on that side, and of course if anyone grabs it I collapse immediately. 

Friday, first thing in the morning, naked: 132 again. That's not fair. You should get to see at least .5 lb down after doing two classes and watching your diet.

K on yer B

Don’t mess with your brain chemistry. Your brain is a finely balanced machine. You can usually make it stupider with chemicals, not smarter. Don’t be dumb on purpose. –Rory Miller


Thursday lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

Opponent lying on floor, you standing at hir feet. Pass to the side, using hand to press hir knees away from you. KOB.

Same, adding: place hands on opponent's shoulders and transition to KOB on the other side.

Same, adding: step around opponent's head and return to KOB on the first side. This involves only two steps, and you continue to face forward. (Dance experience realy helped me with this maneuver...)

Same, adding: similar transition back to KOB on the opposite side AGAIN, only this time you are facing hir feet while you do it. Opponent turns in to you and places hand on your knee. Spinning armbar (yup, back to the OTHER side again).

Positonal sparring from KOB.

Positional sparring from open guard.

One roll with Danny and one with Ed.

I have been 133lb all this week, eating a lot of eggs, would like to get back down to 127.

Surprise, we're doing no-gi tonight.

Kaia appeared on tributary bank and swooped into the grouping of lanterns without a sound, like a grim spectre.  –The Hole In the Clouds



Thursday evening BJJ in Bellevue.

Carlos had us take our jackets off and do no-gi, which was great.

I was the last kid picked for the kickball team again today, which got me paired up with Luis. As much as it sucks to be left standing there alone on the wall, I try to see it as a gift when it ends with me drilling with a black belt.

Pummeling to single-leg. Grabbing the heel.

Pummeling with your back against the wall. with the underhooking hand, cup opponent's shoulder while you drive the overhooking arm deep across between your chests. Pull down with that cup hand while you shove down with the straight arm against hir bicep. This torques the back unpleasantly. Scoot around (toward your cup hand) so that your opponent is now pinned to the wall. End with your foot planted behind hirs.

Opponent begins in KOB. You bridge to jostle hir enough to make space behind hir knee. Hug the knee as you roll in and glue your shoulder to hir leg. Your belt should touch the mat. Get to your knees and press your head and shoulder into opponent's leg, forcing the knee AWAY from hir centerline, for takedown. As s/he turns body in to you and puts knee up to guard, you dive in and underhook the thigh while ducking your head to the outside of it. Go to the side and get KOB. This is a circular drill.

Many reps. After a while, Carlos took Luis away from me and gave me (blue belt) Peter.

Spars with Peter and three other blue belts. There were no fireworks for me here, but I felt competitive with them. I was moving a little better than I tend to do (albeit still not enough), didn't get trapped on the bottom *too* much, and I felt more assertive with my grips than I have felt in the past. It definitely seems like the extra effort I've been putting into asking people to roll no-gi in recent months is making me feel more confident with it.  I even got a "Good job, Keetsune." from Carlos after my second spar. That feels really nice.

Push it, old folks......

Even more than strength and agility, awareness is our best weapon: a dynamic awareness that can look simultaneously into the present, the future, and the past. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path


Lunchtime BJJ in Seattle.

Drills:

Single leg setups

Single leg setup with takedown

Single leg setup with takedown- opponent grabs half guard- you turn toward hir feet, pressure on neck, pop knee out, turn toward hir head, knee slide through, UNDERHOOK (this was the part I got reprimanded for missing), KOB.

Second verse, same as the first; only now when you KOB, opponent turns into you and places hand on your knee. You take the arm closest to hir feet, underhook hir arm, twirl around hir head and armbar. Opponent does hitch hicker escape, gets to knees. You scoot into hir and grab half guard. S/he does the escape describes in the previous section, to KOB. Rinse, repeat.

I was working with Robert, and I hope I didn't drive him nuts today, because I was not only tweaking his technique (which got better and better as the hour went on) but cheerleading him relentlessly to push his exhaustion envelope. For those of us who are not 22 any more, I feel that it really lights a fire under our training to give that percieved limitation a big old EFFFF YEEEWWW every once in a while. Besides, it makes such a difference to work with training partners who push you and take a real interest in your progress.

Cindy came in at the end, and it was tortuous to not stay and play with her- but I promised Chrisanne I would be in Bellevue tonight, and I don't know if I would have enough gas to do so if I stayed to spar this morning.

The tangled web we weave

Stacking: a skilled fighter will use many things in combination. Strikes and gouges can both set up a throw and do damage during the execution. You can lock a limb while sweeping a leg. You can use a lock to slam the threat into a corner or over a coffee table. It’s all good. –Rory Miller





Fri: 128.   Okay, so maybe it's a LITTLE funny.


Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue.

Standup: Judo grips. Push and pull back and forth a few times to make foe step back and forth. Then as s/he is stepping forward with the foot on your elbow-grip side, pull DOWN with the elbow grip and UP with the lapel grip as you use your same-side foot to sweep opponent's ankle between the two of you. You want to do this very suddenly, after s/he has committed hir weight to the step but before hir foot is down.  (Note: stupid side is phenomenally stupid.)

Now: Top side control. Use knee to isolate the arm. Go for KOB, but it's a trap!!!!!! As opponent puts hand on your knee, you pin it to hir belt. That knee you have on hir belly, stretch it all the way behind you and then sweep it in a huge glorious circle around to stick your foot behind opponent's neck. You are going OVER TOP of hir arm. As you put your foot behind the neck, grab your own ankle with the other hand.

(Note: as you do this sweeping circular motion, you can also yank the opponent's head and shoulders up a bit to make it easier to stuff your foot in there. If s/he has turned toward you a little in order to try to shrimp out from under your KOB, this will also make your life easier. Thank you very much.)

Now roll. DO NOT LET GO OF YOUR ANKLE!!!! Place your other foot on opponent's hip. Opponent is probably helping you at this juncture because s/he has now realized your dastardly plot, and is trying to get postured to defend the triangle.

As long as you have kept that ankle, you ought to be able to complete your adjustments in a leisurely fashion. 

You can also finish the triangle without rolling if you wish.

Opponent is in turtle, you sprawled on top N/S. Place left arm against the left side of hir head and scoot to that side. As you are sinking the crossface, go ahead and secure a grip on hir OPPOSITE bicep.

Now reach under hir with your free arm and hug both hir biceps. Pull hir arms towards you and dump hir on the mat on hir back. If you stay nice and tight, and focus on placing your kneeling thigh under hir biceps, you can keep those arms trapped- which is a great position from which to do all sorts of mischief to bring about a finish.

Finally: gi choke from closed guard. Break opponent's posture and grips and lock hir right bicep under your left armpit. Linger there at smooching distance while you get the fingers of that same hand into hir opposite lapel (you can use your other hand to feed it if you need to). Don't tighten it up to the point that you don't have enough slack for the next step: stick the thumb of your right hand into the back of the collar right at the tag. Now whip your forearm over hir head and choke.

One roll with Daniel, one with Ron, one with the visiting black belt.

Ron seemed to be doing some catch and release, to the point where I was like, "Come on, finish your subs. Tap me, dammit. I'm competing next week." He replied, "I'm ALWAYS trying to tap you, Kitsune."  He was also doing a lot of inverted guard. I sprawled heavy on his face (sorry Ron) and used his gi tails to wrap up his shoulders and neck. I did not have a cohesive plan with that- my brain isn't that geometrically clever- but I did manage to get him so tied up that he found himself unable to transition into any of the nasty little tricks that he likes to set up from inverted guard. As we panted there with our faces about two millimeters apart, and I watched him try to move one way and then the other while dismay began to creep into his eyes, I whispered, "Oh, the tangled webs we weave."

So after two ten-minute rolls with Daniel and Ron that were tons of fun, Doug goes to put Mario with the visiting black belt, and Carlos stops him. "He's been training hard all day. Geef heem a break. Let heem go weeth Keetsune."

I couldn't decide whether to be insulted or not. On the one hand: Sparring me is apparently considered a "break" or at least markedly less work than sparring Mario, who is the same rank (taller and heavier, but it's not like he's a grizzly or anything). On the other hand, since Carlos is the one who is ranking me, one would think he wouldn't want me to roll with his buddy if he thinks said buddy will pull him aside after class and ask him, "Dude, what kind of bad acid trip were you on when you gave that chick a purple belt????"

So anyway, I fight the visiting black belt- who is a smaller-size guy and turned out to be great fun. He was letting me work some- even let me have a choke tap. I seemed to be rolling pretty well, and I got the sense that he didn't think I sucked. He also gave me a split lip, but it was well worth it.

It was a fun night of training.

Public service message: Paul Thomas Jiu Jitsu and Kickboxing MMA school (Katy, Texas) has indicated that Nick Schultz (the guy who raped a teammate at TLI and left her semiconscious on a cement parking lot in the middle of a winter night) is welcome to come back and train there (he has trained at Paul Thomas before). Please help spread the word that Paul Thomas Jiu Jitsu Kickboxing MMA welcomes dangerous and immoral asswipes onto its mats to troll for their next victims among its students and their families.  Please also indulge me as I will be using this blog on an ongoing basis to publicize schools and sponsors who support rapists. We need to get this out into the light where everyone can see.

It's hard to troubleshoot your partner's technique while you're faceplanted on the mat.

"What do the faeries do with the people they steal?" demanded Rimo.

"They eat them." Taffi's voice came out muffled, since he had both knees up and his head buried in them.   –The Hole In the Clouds



127.0

These last three pounds are going to be a ripe bitch to lose. It doesn't help to know that it isn't going to matter by way of brackets. I'm going to have to fight Amanda, maybe Stevie, possibly one more; we will have to fight each other regardless of what we weigh.... although fortunately we are all usually within a bracket of one another. No-gi intermediate (where I'm going to stay as long as possible, although at some point I'm going to get forced up to advanced, which will be a tragic hoot) should have one or two other women- maybe as many as 4 or 5- in each of my possible weight classes, so it will matter... but I don't know those women well enough to try to pick and choose where I want my weight to be in order to fight specific people.  I know that I'm in my best possible condition at 124, though- so for my own purposes I'd like to be there.

Lunchtime BJJ in Seattle.  Feeling a little sore from yesterday's drills- especially my glutes (those bullfight passes!). I told Carlos that I was sore from his class, because he loves to hear that.

Shannon was there today, and we were both looking forward to working together because it's been a while- but Carlos split us up and put me with a new white belt girl (Laura).

We did a number of complex techniques today. My brain had to scramble to keep up. If I'd had a day like this as a new white belt, I would have been in tears. Laura actually did really well, although needing considerable guidance. I did the techniques first, talking my way through it with one succinct word per step and pointing out any critical details. I think we mostly did okay together, although
Carlos had to come over and help a few times. In particular, it is very difficult to talk your partner through troubleshooting her omoplata while you are faceplanted on the mat with your arm twisted behind your back so that you can't see what she's doing.

Rodrigo often tells his classes (with varying degrees of patience) to not presume to "help" fix each other's technique, because- as he says- half the time, you're telling them wrong.  Yet he once chewed me out (when I was a young blue belt) for *failing* to correct mistakes on the white belt I was drilling with. So I get a little frustrated sometimes with the mixed messages. Today, Carlos reprimanded the class to not "fix" each other's techniques. Then less then 20 min later he was asking me what was wrong with me for not having Laura's techniques all perfect. Mind you, I *was* walking/talking her through everything, but these were a bunch of complex techniques with 8 or so steps apiece, and I am not yet so perfect that I have every single detail down pat myself.

1)Opponent attempts a double-leg, you sprawl. Place right arm stiffly beside the left side of hir head and spin around so that you are hanging off hir hip on that same side. Double underhooks, high lapel grips. Little hop to bring your FAR leg in and place the knee beside opponent's knee.  Other leg stretched out straight behind you (don't mount the person). Pull hir into your back mount. Note that you need to have a little distance between the bodies- if your crotch is pasted to hir butt, it's very difficult to prevent yourself from rolling on your back (an issue that I used to have tons of trouble with in the past, but I'm starting to get the hang now). Hooks in nice, lapel grips high and tight.

2) Begin in butterfly guard. Break opponent's grip on your right pantleg and swing leg COUNTERCLOCKWISE to hook foot under hir armpit ("lasso"). YOU MUST KEEP HIR HAND TRAPPED- ON YOUR BELT!!! Place left knee horizontally across opponent's trunk with knee toward your lasso side.

Grab opponent's pants at ankle (no fingers in pantleg!!!) with your left hand and pull hir to load hir onto you. As you do this, stretch that leg out so that you are "talking on your phone" with opponent's knee.

Use folded leg to gently lever opponent off you onto hir back. Hir wrist that you still hold- press that to the mat. (I found that you really need to take a moment here to make sure hir fingers aren't going to break when you do the next move).

Which is- technical lift, to KOB.

3)Begin in butterfly guard. Go to lasso again, but this time you square up with your free knee pointed at the ceiling.

Now take that leg and straighten it, propping it on opponent's left shoulder with the outside of your shin on hir ear. 

Fold that straight leg forcefully over opponent's neck.

Switch your right hand grip to opponent's elbow. Then let go with left hand and swing your body so that you are nose-to-tail with opponent. Fold legs with opponent's arm trapped in your crotch. Don't let hir front-roll.

Finish omoplata.

4)Begin in back mount, double underhooks. Let go with rt hand and reach over shoulder to get choking grip. Let go with left hand and grab pants.

Bringing opponent with you, roll on your back and then on your rt side, and pull/kick your rt leg under you so that you come up in S-mount. (If necessary, adjust the front foot so that it is snug against foe's belly).

Turn your rt shin/foot out. Come up to a squat. Sit back on butt while bringing right foot over opponent's shoulder.

Choke-a-rama.

See? How'd ya like to take a brand new person through all that, at a rate of speed so as to finish in about 40 min? 

Then we did a little KOTH from back mount. High belts down (being back mounted)- including me. I was slow to escape most people today, but I did escape all but one- a big cop who was totally muscling the crap out of me. He was tall enough to stretch me out and then bow my back so that there was no way for me to reach his feet even if I tried to use my thigh to lift a foot up to grabbing height (an invaluable trick!)  He was almost able to tap me just with the back-bowing, but he wanted the choke, and I defended that (with difficulty... this was painful and I was scared for my spine, but he was pissing me off and I hate to tap to muscling). He tried to get my pantleg for a bow and arrow, but I scuttled that plan as well. He finally muscled me with a sloppy choke and I had to tap.

I did about 4 rounds with Shannon, and she was doing well enough that on the final round, I was forced to resort to some chest pressure and face-grinding. I hate doing that sort of thing, and I whispered, "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" while I was doing it. Then after I finished the escape, I apologized again and told her that she was doing so well that I had to resort to that- it was the only thing I had left.

Attack, attack, attack

"There's a girl here who looks just like you- only she's wearing more clothes." -Willow, Herald Camp




In case anyone cares, I will *not* be dying of melanoma this week. Both of my biopsies- including the one that looked just like a pathology textbook photo of malignant melanoma- came back benign. HIPPA, in its infinite wisdom, forbids health care professionals from looking at our OWN records. Wouldn't want to invade our own privacy now, would we??? So I got to sit at work all night wondering if I was dying of cancer or not, knowing that my biopsy results were about six keystrokes away and I was not allowed to look at them. I love my job.

Sat: 128
Sun: 129.5
Mon: 128.5
Tues: 128
Wed: 127.  Three pounds to go, and two whole months to do it in.
Thurs: 127.5

Thursday evening "black belt" class in Bellevue.

Drills: you are standing, opponent on hir back in front of you, feet on your hips. You push ankle aside, push knee BACK, step near foot up to hir ribs, KOB. This is one of the ones where I start to get really flustered over left and right.

Same entry, but opponent sits up and hugs your right leg. You pull up hir left elbow, pull your leg out and place it beside hir hip, swing your other leg out, take side control.

Same entry, but this time opponent is hugging your leg too tightly for you to complete the previous maneuver. Instead, move your trapped foot right over hir lap and place it beside hir OTHER hip, then slide down into KOB on that side, then place both knees on hir belly and swing around to the opposite side and KOB over there.

Rotating spars. I got the prof first. "Eet ees not always attack, attack, attack- sometimes have to wait, sometimes have to defend..." I guess BJJ does not have Tigers in it.

Thursday advanced class

In martial arts, everything begins with the body. First, one gets acquainted with it, and slowly becomes intimate with it. The body is transformed into the best ally of the spirit. Then spirit and body become one. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path




Look what I found by the side of the road on my way home from work last night. Its name is "Notstaying". Anyone want a bunny?


Evening advanced BJJ at Bellevue.

Drills: side control to KOB to side control on the other side. Sit on your hip and use the FAR knee to slide over opponent, then fall onto hip on other side.

Opponent is in your closed guard, holding your belt. Break hir grip by bracing with your hand on your own wrist (Carlos does it by gripping with the outside hand and running the INSIDE wrist under). As you break grip, pull opponent's arm crossways over your chest and use your legs to help hir along. Hug around hir head and arm. Take a moment to make sure you have this seated correctly on the neck... this is the time to do it, as your opponent is occupied with trying to avoid the face-plant. Later, s/he is going to figure out what you are doing, and tuck hir chin- then it will be too late to adjust your choke. Now: Slide your legs down a bit,  and use them to pinch hir thighs together, then roll. (If this isn't working, you can also use a butterfly hook toe here.) Front mount. Hop off on the same side you have the trapped arm. Choke.

More drills: this time we began with the wrist release and cross-yank, then shrimped out and took the back. Note that getting a hook or a good lapel grip (ideally both) and then pulling opponent into your lap is much less work and less dangerous than  trying to get all the way out and then climb on hir back.

A few spars- two blue belts and a purple. I felt in control with both of the blues (got a few taps on each) and competitive with the purple tonight. Dave and I traded some good choke tips.
Got the new Miller book- "Force Decisions"- I'm about ten pages in, and already have about a billion good quotes marked.

S-mount and ocarinas

Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.   –William Blake




Many thanks to those who sent me hugs after last weekend's debaucle. I really appreciate it.

Tasara and Tiffany Ann and I discussed it over e-mail some. If it was just the money thing, I think we could work it out. The woman is a control freak- she's the first to admit it- and she just wants the structure of the event a certain way. That is reasonable, since she is the founder and all- but my ritual style isn't very compatible with the hospital-corners approach that she favors. Too much rigmarole; too much (IMHO) assuming people are too stupid to figure out what's going on without being led by the hand; too much imposing one's own agenda instead of going with the flow and letting what wants/needs to happen, happen. Not only do I not enjoy doing it that way, I think it stifles the more timid people in the circle.

 Furthermore, my confidence crumbles under harshly-delivered criticism, and I'm starting to see that it's just *never* going to be good enough in her eyes.  The *participants* at all of my events seemed to have a great time, and the energy is good, so I'm going to focus on that upside. I'm not a bad leader- this situation is just not the ideal fit.

Tasara wants to meet in person and figure this out. I told her that I'm not hosting next month anyway (since I've just done two months in a row), and I want to just table it for a while and discuss it later. I may be clearer about what to do after some time has passed. (And, uh, SHE may be a little clearer later on as well....) I may just decide to bow out. I'm okay with that.

I brought the double guiro to the drum circle, and it has a nice sound (both registers of scrape-rattle, plus two registers of "woodblock" (more if I tap the handle, etc)). Housemate has a teeny little frog-shaped guiro, which I borrowed, and that was fun as well. Sounds just like a cricket. I forgot my egg shaker, though, and I really missed that. Note to double-check next time and make sure it's in the box.

I have dug out the sweet potato ocarinas. Haven't yet figured out what key they are in, but I did figure out that they are all the same- a set of 3 sizes- so if I can learn one, I should be able to play all 3 (altho the smallest one is annoyingly squeaky, and tiny enough for the fingering to be awkward even with my small and deft digits). Eight top holes and 3 bottom holes (the middle of which is always uncovered) on each. No holes covered is obviously the same note as all holes covered... and it's a sharp or flat, of course.... it would be way too easy if it began with a plain C..... but I will have to get my bass clarinet out to figure out which notes are which. I can make guesses by ear, but they are only guesses. May be able to find a rough fingering chart online, if I can ID the key.

Was appalled to find- while researching ocarinas online- that There's An App For That. Lord help us. You can now bring up an image of holes on your iphone and BLOW INTO THE BOTTOM OF THE PHONE and it will produce ocarina notes in accordance with how you place your fingers on the screen "holes". The song book that comes with it includes "Baby" by Justin Bieber and "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga as well as the Legend of Zelda theme song, Bach, and Debussy. Can you believe it? Don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Also, I have ordered a kids' recorder (that should COME with a fingering chart). Cotton candy blue plastic see-through. Will probably only have one octave... but I can't resist musical toys. I added a plastic kazoo to the order as well.


Speaking of leading drum events, this year's site for PSG has still not been announced- which is disquieting. This means some sort of problem with the site. I'm hoping it will not be a new site again- that is stressful and a ton of work. Whatever issues they're having re: site means that they haven't even gotten around to contacting the onsite staff (which they usually start initiating in December), nor has anyone addressed the Hunt yet. I'm not sure who could step in for Beau if he does not do it (this is why we should all have a lieutenant- I love you Dru). Less lead time= more confusion and stress, so I hope they get their poop in a group pretty soon.

I don't know if I mentioned that my wood and skin djembe suffered a mortal wound in baggage handling last year. I think that with my recent layoff, I'm not going to deal with it this year- just take the Remo. But lest we have a second percussive death, I'm thinking about shipping Flame to Derek. I feel so bad about how much I lean on him for stuff like this, but I don't have many options. This, however, is another reason that the delay is chafing my nerves. If I have to ship drums, that needs to happen early. And Gawds, I'm already begining to dread having a confrontation with James. Am I awful if I hope he has a funeral to go to or something, and doesn't show up?

I need to get to an office-supply store or something and get some of those "Hello my name is______" stickers. Jo (my evil twin) said that she was going to have T-shirts made up... but in case she doesn't, we can wear stickers: "Hello my name is NOT KITSUNE"; "Hello my name is NOT JO".   Ha!
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Wednesday evening gi class at Sleeper Athletics. Cindy was ill, so Eric taught. "Seatbelt" ("prayer") guard pass. Standing pass utilizing a double-handed "joystick" grip on one sleeve cuff, push knee down, slide near knee through.

Then this: start like you're doing a bullfight pass, but instead of going to the side, cross-step your leg between your own arms and place the foot beside opponent's hip. Keep both pants grips and arch back for KOB. Then side mount.

I don't know about that KOB- the arm positions felt weird- but I like the "joystick" grip. It took me some fumbling to secure it, but it's good once I've got it.

King Of the Hill, pass vs sweep or sub. As usual, I am adequate at passing **IF** I can break closed guard. On the bottom only once, with the new guy. I spider guarded him right away and held him off for a bit, but then he passed.

Then rotating 5 min spars with Jalen and the new guy. I worked S-mount on the new guy, and it was going nicely- in that I was able to stay on top a lot. I was careful to hug that shin right up to his belly.  S mount, front mount, KOB, back again. I was on top a lot. Points up the whazoo. Unfortunately, he had really good choke defense and was muscle-defending the armbar, so I couldn't for the life of me finish him. I did kamikazi the armbar twice, using a good self-lapel grip and the "rolling" pry attempt, but I just couldn't make it happen.

Jalen- we started from standing, used the wall some (he got a nice reversal on me using the wall). I tried a double-leg takedown, telling myself, "Commit, commit..." I committed more than I usually do, but still not enough to make it work. He tapped me once with a kimura, and I tapped him once with a head-and-arm. It was hella sloppy- my arms were totally mispositioned- but I had him well pinned with his elbow at his ear, so I thought, "If I can just hold him here and keep microadjusting, hopefully I'll be able to get enough pressure on the side of his neck," and it took a while, but- Yay!

Had some fun matches tonight, felt pretty good, still feeling pretty good afterward.

Wednesday evening

If anyone strikes my heart, it does not break, but it bursts, and the flame coming out of it becomes a torch on my path.   Hazrat Inayat Khan


Wednesday evening gi class, Sleeper Athletics.

As great as it is to have a small class, it always means you're gonna work your buns off. We started out with just Jalen and Axel and me. We picked up two additional people later on. First, though, drills of that same takedown. Axel stood at one end of the mat and I stood at the other, while Jalen had to run first to me, take me down, then run across the room to Axel, take him down, etc for a total of ten. Axel and I had to do calisthenics (burpees, pushups, etc) while we were waiting our turns- so no downtime!  Everyone got a turn in the middle. Note that if you're not careful how you land this takedown, the opponent can roll you and end on top.

Next: you are in bottom side mount. Frame up, make room, shrimp, matward knee in, replace closed guard. Double sleeve cuff grips. Go to butterfly guard. Feet on hips. Shrimp out a bit, bring left leg around to "lasso" opponent's arm and hook toe behind bicep. Make sure your knee is bowed OUTWARD and not inward (or s/he will push it down and pass). Bring your other foot to that same side of opponent's torso and press the top of the foot to the ribs. GRAB THE PANTS AT THE KNEE on the side of the opponent that you have no feet. (I kept forgetting that part). Push opponent; when s/he pushes back, load hir onto you and then shove hir off to the left. Keep that pants grip till you get opponent on hir back. Roll up to KOB. Baseball bat choke, moving body all the way behind opponent's head and then placing forehead on the mat.

Second technique: start the same as before, but after you get the lasso (again, make sure knee is bowed OUTWARD), place your rt sole on opponent's same side bicep just above the elbow. As you do this, you want to be SITTING UP, not flat on your back (that was my big challenge this time). If you can't sit up, that means you need to shrimp out more and get your butt further away from the opponent. Now- grab behind opponent's tricep on your "lasso" side and yank hir in for a triangle. Your spider-guard foot is the one that goes OVER opponent's neck; the lasso side is the one that you need to bring hir arm in.

Cindy gave me my pick of drill partners, and since I had picked Jalen last time, I picked Axel this time.

Sparring with everyone. I was informed that I was under no circumstances to be in the same position longer that 30 seconds.  I really wanted to try that gi choke that we had practiced in the Old Farts' class last week, and I tried to set it up a few times on Axel- but all of my partners tonight were way too frisky for me to finish setting it up. I was *very* tired during the sparring- the lack of breaks and the sprints-with-burpees interspersed between were brutal.