Christy is awesome

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom   -Anais Nin

Thursday lunchtime BJJ, in Bellevue, all spars. Nelson!!!! I love Nelson. Seriously, I would marry Nelson if he wasn't already happily married.   I taught my favorite almost-never-fail front mount escape to two different women. Note- remember to front mount them next time I roll with them and make sure they do it.

Friday women's class in Bellevue. All drills. Standing guard passes, SGP to KOB. Lying under partner and holding the belt, hiking butt up so that one knee is in hir crotch and the other foot is wrapped around hir hip. (oof!) This weird thing where you put one hand on your partner's knee and the other on the floor and hop from one side of hir guard to another. It was really easy and even somewhat fun (like a dance move) RIGHT UP UNTIL Carlos came over and stood right behind me so that I had to sidle instead of hop. THAT MADE IT A HUNDRED TIMES HARDER!!!!!  (Also.... even though he continues to look at me funny whenever I try to say anything to him in Portuguese, he did understand when I muttered, "Eu nao gosto voce,"  ("I don't like you"))

I was really impressed with Christy, who is just coming off a bout of food poisoning. Breakfast was the first meal she had eaten in three days. Then she went skiing. Then to the women's class. Then she ran into the bathroom to puke. Then she did the second class. I told her that she is one of my jiu jitsu idols. She laughed at me.

I could not do the second class. I e-mailed my doctor yesterday and told her that the insomnia meds have made me gain 20 pounds, I am tired all the time, and I want off. We are going to try something else. I am going on a diet. I think I am going to compete again next year, just because that forces me to eat healthy and stay at a reasonable weight. I just can't deal with being this heavy.  Dewey brought me a really awesome healthy roast soup tonight.

"If I shrimp, my uterus will fall out"

 

 

Fear of legitimate danger is a good thing. It is your ally. It’s your inspiration. Your muse, if you will. Strength increases, reflexes are faster, pain sensitivity drops and you can run faster. In these circumstances, adrenaline becomes the get-it-done drug.  –Marc MacYoung

 

 

Thursday and Friday BJJ,

Thursday and Friday and Saturday BJJ,
and Friday BJJ (Thursday I was tired and lazy and did nothing).

One of the Thursdays was at Kirkland. Remember when I said it was nice to go there once in a while and tool up on their white and blue belts? That was Hammer Day, and this was Nail day! All those same people tooled on me... including a female white belt who tapped me twice right away. Then I thought, "Hmm, I'm going to have to take this one seriously," and then she tapped me again!  She was very tight, and shrink-wrapped everything up methodically the way Luis does, leaving *no* room to do anything. My happiness at seeing skilled women coming up in our school far outweighs my momentary peevishness at getting tapped.

Note that Carlos does not want to hear me say that I got pwn'ed. He made his usual "I no see you" comment the week I spent Thurs at Kirkland. I like that he misses me, but I was a little hesitant to tell him I'd been at Kirkland because I wasn't sure if that would be weird. He seemed (outwardly) okay that I'd gone elsewhere that day, but gave me a serious talk about the way I refer to getting my butt kicked. Much of this monologue was sort of lost in translation (and also he was following me down the mat while I was doing shrimp drills during it), but I think the gist was that he doesn't want me to get too hung up on being smashed- or doesn't want me to talk too much about it- which I guess is related. And both good advice.

The Saturday was at Seattle. Seth showed me a cool sweep. I want him to drill that with me every time I see him.

The other Thursday was the first day at the womens' class that I was not allowed to work with Chrisanne. I found myself with a teenager who looked like I could sneeze and blow her though the plate glass lobby window. I thought Carlos would switch up the pairings when he saw us (I'm too dangerous to work with Chrisanne, and he's going to let me work with this little wisp of a thing?) but he didn't. (I didn't injure her, BTW.... and she is really good at single-legs)

That most recent Friday, I finally succeeded in talking Lindsay back onto the mat. She said that her body still didn't feel quite like her own, and that she was afraid that when she shrimped, her "uterus would fall out". I am not sure what that means, yet I found it was a rather disquieting prospect- but I just told her that I was happy to see her back, and we could deal with whatever limitations presented themselves. I think she ended up tapping me more than I tapped her, so it was good. She seemed really happy to be rolling again. Going to try to get her in again this coming Thurs.

Chrisanne got a stripe! PSG is coming up and I will likely have only one BJJ class this week (if that), so I ought to be able to escape promotions yet again (muah ha ha ha). Mini posted a promotion/ranking rant on her training blog this week- glad to see I am not the only one who feels this way.

One of the techniques we worked on was a sweep from guard in which I struggled, in a way that really pointed up several persistent failings of mine which show up across multiple techniques; I fail to break down the opponent's posture and/or control hir arms adequately, I try to sweep to the side instead of tipping hir head toward my shoulder, and I fail to be forceful enough with the sweeping thigh (I have it stuck in my head that this is a strength move- which of course will never work- I need to fix the technicality and then COMMIT).  Once again, a thing that will have all sorts of sweeping improvement-type effects as soon as I can cement it.

Another interesting technique: choke from top side control. Inspired by Pat, I sometimes pull out someone's gi tail and pass it behind hir head when I have top half guard, as I know there are several intriguing things to do from there.... but I can never remember anything to finish it with. Carlos showed us how to pass the gi tail back to your far hand after passing it under the neck, then yank the person in toward your knee and cross-collar choke hir. If s/he puts out a hand to try to block your second grip, you grab the wrist and yank the arm forward, then lay your chest on hir shoulder and s/he chokes herself with hir own bicep. I had Lindsay coughing several times on this one. I like it.

I asked a few trusted people to try to put me on the bottom and to let me have a legit sweep if I made a halfway reasonable attempt at one, but to *NOT* let me escape. This was totally frustrating, which tells me I am on the right path. I am going to need to keep doing it.

I tried to get my new favorite choke from bottom half guard on a few people, but did not succeed. Being banned from working with Chrisanne flummoxed my plan to drill that with her at every class. I need to find a new drill dummy.

Finding myself questioning my performance aloud too much- ie, asking my partner "is that right?" even when I have no reason to think it's not right. Obviously I *DO* need to ask this when I think I have a problem. But it feels like I am often saying it just because I am being too self-critical. I also find myself saying it as a social lubricant (ie, "Even though I outrank you and we don't know each other well, I'm humble and we're peers, go ahead and correct me (which- again- has its place, but should not be overused))". It backfired badly on me that week, as I found myself working with a no-stripe purple woman that I've never seen before, who was messing up worse than I was but still became more and more didactic (including several blatantly WRONG instructions) over the two days we worked together.

Holding at a reasonable walking-around weight of 133, although I would like to drop another few. The local wild salmonberries are dying, but the thimbleberries are in their prime and the blackberries are starting to appear. The slugs are actually leaving a few of my strawberries for ME this year. Thus whenever I go out to walk the dogs, I have a fruit snack. I've been doing really well on meal portions (I'm still working on the freezer full of half a dozen different meals that I cooked, divvied up and froze several weeks ago), but junk food at work (left by colleagues) continues to be a major pitfall. Tonight there was an unfortunate Doritos incident... thanks a lot, evening shift. Please take your bad food with you when you clock out.

I bought a whole bunch of tuna packets to use as meals at PSG. I'm going to let myself eat at the food vendors' stands a bit, but that is problematic for portion control when I have no fridge or microwave. The tuna packets I bought have condiments in them (I tried the plain- as well as the plain chicken- and just couldn't get jazzed about eating that all week long), but they are portion controlled in 120-cal and 100-cal envelopes. And no cooking, no cleanup, portable, with low perishability. (The tuna packets unfortunately are not going to be a very good option for regular life due to their unreasonable prices.) I also got almonds, granola (caloric, but not as bad as candy/crackers/cookies/doughnuts/breakfast cereal/other poor options), and will get some fruit and Slim Fasts before getting onsite.  I'm looking at myself in the mirror morning and night and wondering how much of the abdominal bloating I'm seeing is my bad soda habit. I should go cold turkey one day and see if there is a visible difference. But that would involve going cold turkey all day.  :( 

Thursday Brazilian Buffet

They say there’s peace if you can relinquish desire. For me desire’s absence has only left a dull persistent ache. An insistant humming insectile silence. A lonely house in the woods. But perhaps the lesson is that I never relinquished desire, and that’s why there has been no peace. –Leah Stewart



Thursday lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue. Brazilian Buffet- all spars. I was all about the keylocks today, got them repeatedly on multiple people.

It took some fast talking, but I finally got Lindsay back in. She was so worried that she'd get breast milk or pee on me.  I had to reassure her repeatedly that I didn't care. I brought extra clothes, and both of those things wash off.  It was so nice to work with her again. We did the first spar together and then we did another few at the end. I really hope she gets in more. I miss her.

I was a total weight bully with Amy. I felt bad about it, but I knew that if I tried to go easier on her, she'd tap me every 3 seconds, and that would not please either of us.

Still largely on point with the diet. One Dr Pepper today. I might let myself have one more. I was happy that I was able to perform adequately at class with such a tiny breakfast. The only thing that happened was that I started getting a headache on the way home from class. I thought I had had enough water, but it still might have been dehydration rather than low glucose.

This commute is killing my training.....

You may think you have an ace up your sleeve. Hell, you might even have one. But recognize that the other guy has three or four. If he didn’t think he had something that would let him win, he wouldn’t play. –Campfire Tales From Hell


I have done four classes since my last blog post. Still struggling a lot with insomnia and the resultant generalized "feeling like crap" as well as the issue of not feeling safe- or just plain not feeling like- driving to the school and back. Also feeling lazy about blogging.  :P  All I want to do is sleep, and since I can't sleep, all I feel like doing is nesting with a pile of books. I really want to go to jiu jitsu- I miss it, I crave it- but I'm struggling.

Anyway, I remember working on clock chokes; I remember working with three white belt guys over two days who were all respectful enough that I felt comfortable giving pointers. One of them in particular thanked me several times. It always feels so good. I really enjoy helping newbies, when I feel like they are actually listening to me- and I think I'm good at it.

I remember rolling with the visiting prof, whom I am pretty sure had me pegged as the village idiot because I kept asking him to show each technique One More Time. He started looking me right in the eye while he taught the class, and helped me more than anyone else in the room. That's great, although it did make me want to show him- when we finally rolled- that I actually do know a thing or two. I think I surprised him a bit.   :)

Worked with Chrisanne last night, which was wonderful. Hip throws, hip throw to armbar, armbars from mount. I am getting better at remembering to pinch my knees together, which has ever been the detail I tend to neglect.  Chrisanne and I did two spars (from standing) at the end... they were great spars. We are so evenly matched.

It's been raining for a week and a half, so walks with the dogs have also been curtailed- surely a
contributor to my general laziness. Finally got a 3 hour hike on Weds and an hour each Thurs and Fri. Was a bit sore after the 3 hour, but felt much better overall. Dogs get woefully stiff- and January gets very restless- when they are not getting hikes, so it's great incentive... although I can't do anything about the weather.

The Halloween candy situation at work was reather devastating. And now we are swinging into The Holidays. It would be good to try to keep my eating under some semblance of control.

Down five

No man, however civilized, can listen for very long to African drumming, or Indian chanting, or Welsh hymn singing, and retain intact his critical and self-conscious personality. –Aldous Huxley


I've lost 5lb from walking my dogs. I think the meds are also affecting my appetite (in a good way). I was worried about the typical weight gain that goes along with anxiety/depression drugs. Yet I didn't really want lunch yesterday, and had to make myself eat it (because I was going to class and knew I needed the fuel), and I didn't really want dinner either, but made myself eat it (because I knew I just had not eaten enough that day). I am snacking less at home, as it is disconcerting to have two dogs staring at me. I have been binging on a lot of junk food at work, partially because my insomnia is just making it really hard to get through the day. If I can get this insomnia solved, I think that will be less of a problem. Unfortunately, the insomnia rages unchecked in the face of presciption drugs.

Thursday lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue. Standing guard pass to KOB. When opponent pushes at your knee, turn to hir feet and take a modified side control, propped on your elbow. Pick up hir top pants cuff and place hir shin between your shins. Grab hir other pants cuff and the belt or back waistband. Dive over and pull the person into your back mount. This was similar to what we did last week, so I was able to translate (and even figure out- and explain adequately- to Peter why his technique wasn't working). It's all about getting that knee hooked nice and snug with the opponent's knee. If it's too low, or too lose, you don't have adequate control of the opponent's body.

Several rounds of sparring, the first round with Cindy, whom I have not worked with in forever. So that was great (albeit exhausting!)
 

Why yes... an ear-ectomy would indeed eliminate the need for headgear.

Use of force is a “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” issue. “This one is too little. This one is too  much. This one is just right.” Campfire Tales From Hell



Thursday:

2 mile walk.

I went to the optometrist and got a different contact lens prescription. I have gotten slightly blinder. I still hate contacts, and tend to put them in right before class and pop them out immediately after. It is a constant source of irritation to me that I have to wear glasses- I am painfully aware that if a real defense situation occurs, all the Bad Guy has to do is hit me in the glasses and break them, knock them off, or even just bend them- and I will be fairly hamstrung in both a practical sense and in the realm of self-confidence. I told the doctor that I would really like to find a type of contact that is actually comfortable enough to wear all day, and will not make my head hurt when I try to do tasks that involve intense focus. I have now been wearing the brand that I am currently test-driving for two days- all day. They are better than the old ones, but I can still feel them in there and am still experiencing some amount of drying, itching and irritation. I am going to try to make myself keep wearing them as much as possible until my recheck appointment (although I'm not sure if that's going to be practical at work, with the microscope).

No-gi in Bellevue.

I think I mentioned in my last posting that I left my headgear at the school YET AGAIN. Tonight, I walked in and saw Carlos hanging around talking to some people. I didn't want him to see me searching for the headgear, so I went away and did something else for a while. Then I came back to peek in, and he was on the mat busy with some kids. But as soon as I crept across the floor and stuck my head into the office to see if my headgear was in there, he's yelling "KEEEEEEEEETSUNE!" across the mat. I turn around, and he's glaring at me and pointing to the corner of the room by the water cooler. I had to do the Walk Of Shame across the room while he glared at me. I apologized for about the five hundredth time. Then he suggested that if he amputated my ears, I wouldn't have to worry about it any more.

Pummelling, double-leg setups. Carlos is fixated on these two drills lately. Chrisanne's double-leg setups look and feel so incredible. I wish mine were half that good. I asked her if she ever tries them live, and she said no. I told her that she should.

 I was too lazy to blog this class last night, and now I can't remember everything we did.    :P   I do remember doing more double-leg setups with the other person sprawling, and then with a guillotine. We also spent a decent amount of time doing timed flow rolling with rotating partners.

I do remember that at the end, I had a great roll with Chrisanne. It was very very hot, but we resolved to spar at least a bit. She did a double leg takedown on me, and it worked beautifully.

When we were both lying on the mat dying, she said, "Dude. We rolled for forty minutes." It felt like fifteen. I could have kept going, but she was done.

I remembered to take my headgear home with me tonight. Nor did I forget my water bottle or my belt.

---------------------
Friday:

Another two mile walk.

I went to Lindsey's studio and got my hair cut. It was so nice to see her. I really miss her on the mat. And while I looked like a real sex kitten with my shaggy curls tumbling over my eyes, it was driving me crazy. So nice tonight to not have hair in my face.

BJJ in Bellevue. Hotter than hell in the gi.

After the ubiquitous pummelling and double-leg setups... 

Standing reverse DLR guard passes. Press against the thigh, then when opponent pushes back, donkey kick, pass, and go to KOB.

Same, but opponent turns in to you and pushes your knee. Add a spinning armbar.

Same, but you don't sink all the way into a good KOB- and opponent tries to single-leg you. Spinning armbar the OPPOSITE way. Note that this version does not involve stepping one foot backwards over the opponent. Your butt is the only thing that goes over. I struggled a bit with that.

Lots of drill reps, lots of getting up and down (which always exhausts the hell out of us old ladies), very very hot. But we both held up pretty well. Much mutual cheerleading. I wish I could better communicate to Chrisanne about the Dragon-ish recycling of energy. I tried to explain how to swing your leg and use centrifugal force to get yourself back up off the floor easier. I have several times tried to explain the paddleball analogy of bouncing the energy back into the next movement- and the next rep- instead of letting it go "splat" and expended/wasted. I don't feel like I'm getting through- but focusing on trying to be a good example of these at least helps me do more reps faster, and keep my mind (to some degree) off of how hot and exhausted I am.

Again, it was far too hot to roll after class.

I remembered to take my headgear home with me again. I also walked right past the barbeque for the second Friday in a row. I've been eating a lot of chicken and eggs, but am still struggling mightily with my soda addiction. I did two per day for about two weeks, then backslid a bit. I'm down to one can when I get up, one at work, and a third when I get home from work. I am much weaker on my days off. If I'm home for any length of time, it's very difficult to stay away from the fridge pack. If I'm out doing classes and other things away from the house, I'm fine most of the day but then I tend to binge with a couple of cans when I get home. I substitute juice or water at work (I know juice is full of sugar, but it's better than pop... and I can kick the juice easy once I have the pop thing under control). I'd really like to eliminate that third morning soda. By the time I get home from work, I am tired and grouchy and jonesing for it. I often struggle similarly with eating bad things in the morning when I get home from work, so this is a destructive pattern for me. I've been good for the last few weeks about just not having trigger foods in the house. Man, this Dr Pepper, though. What do they put in this stuff, heroin?? I'm so glad I stayed the hell away from alcohol and drugs. If I'm this weak with caffeine and sugar, I have no business messing with anything more addictive than that. So glad I was wise enough to know this from the beginning.

Zero sum

I'm noticing this week how incredibly poor my diet decisions become when I am tired. Sometimes it's like, "OMG, I just have to somehow survive until after (fill in final responsibility for the day)... whatever it takes..." Often what it takes is some sour cream and onion baked Ritz crackers.

I'm also noticing the distinct zero-sum pattern of my diet. If I'm trying to moderate my caffeine, I'll think, "I'm going to eat whatever I want, just until I detox from caffeine..." and if I have been really disciplined about my food, it's "I've been so calorically good today... I can have another Dr Pepper."

Another zero-sum thing I will do is, "I did all this extra sparring this morning, I can have some cookies and not feel guilty."

Food (and soda) are such cheap, easy, quick and immediate gratifications. If I feel like I need an indulgence (or if I feel like the world OWES me an indulgence, LOL), it's immediate, easy, quick and cheap. I could indulge in a new book, a hot bubble bath, other non-food "treats"... but none of them have that immediate, easy, cheap and quick thing going on.

I need to break out of that "zero sum" thought pattern. I need to stop seeing junk food and pop as "treats" when they are actually a distinct destructive force in my life. I need to stop feeling that the world OWES me a Snickers bar when things are going crappy. I need to redefine the idea of an indulgence; that does not involve consuming things.
These self-destructive thought patterns are persistently keeping me at about ten lb heavier than I want to be, as well as probably phucking with my energy levels and sleep patterns.

 

"Careful- Carlos will yell at you!"

In all athletic disciplines, it is the internal work that makes the physical mat time click, but it is easy to lose touch with this reality in the middle of the grind. - Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”


Thurs evening No-gi in Bellevue.

Pummelling to backtake. Carlos emphasizes the changing of levels as you duck under foe's arm (which I always want to cheat because of my poor knees).  I am good about remembering to always capture an arm as I take the back, but I'm not good about remembering to capture the correct arm.  I am aware that part of my sloppiness and reluctance about getting and maintaining wrist grips (especially in no-gi) is because my brain assumes that with most partners, I will not be able to keep the grip due to the largeness of their wrist versus the smallness of my hand. I think I am also subconsciously timid about injuring my thumb. Carlos usually uses a "C" grip. I don't feel secure with that grip. I should experiment with it more often, though.

You standing, opponent lying on hir back with soles toward you. Place palms on hir belly (Note- have elbow bent and splayed a bit outward so as not to invite an armbar.). Dance feet from side to side, ending in a partial squat with alternating opponent's feet between your knees. After a few reps, slide near knee over hir thigh and pass. UNDERHOOK THE FAR ARM (this is my persistent weakness) and trap near arm under your own armpit.

You standing, opponent sitting, handfighting. Grab foe's ankles and rocking-chair hir back. As s/he sits up again and tires to grab half guard, grab hir right ankle with your L hand and press your rt palm to hir ribs. (Note- have elbow bent and splayed a bit outward so as not to invite an armbar. Also, so not let hir put that sole on the floor.) Press hir to the floor with that rt hand as you half-squat in standing half guard setup. Donkey-kick the RIGHT foot back  (more challenge for me here, trying to remember which foot) and slide your thigh under hir rt thigh (now both hir legs are on your rt side). Pass guard, pressuring on the now-pretzeled opponent trapped under you. Opportunity here to snug your right arm in nice and tight for a little bit of a neck-crank if you want to be a douche. More challenge for me at THIS point figuring out where to put the opponent's arms. I get confused on where I want to underhook, and I tend to sloppily leave at least one arm free to fight me.  It's so easy to get hyperfocussed on that juicy neck.

Same entry. As opponent rocking-chairs up and tries to hug your leg, you hook rt hand behind hir neck and place controlling elbow on hir breastbone. Yank hir elbow up and insert your knee into the space. Pass. Again, don't get sloppy about trapping arms here. This is a variation on one of my favorite passes, and I was able to do it pretty smoothly, although I had to be really careful on Chrisanne's ribs. I was also able to give her good constructive criticism on her controlling-elbow action ("Feel the way I brace this elbow?" "EeeRRRRRkkkk... yeah ." "You do the same thing to me.").

These last two techniques had a lot of steps, and I remember how freakin' frustrated I used to get as a white and blue belt trying to remember all the steps with the details and sequencing. It's much better now. I still struggle some, but not nearly as bad as I used to. I don't think this is a result of me getting better (ha ha), but I have seen most of this stuff in some form or other so that it's not quite as much rote memorization of completely foreign choreography.

Same entry, but when opponent rocking-chairs up, you guillotine. Carlos wanted us to press our abs on the top of the person's head. I feel great setting up the guillotine (it has always been one of my favorites), but it was really weird to position the head so centrally. I also couldn't get over the feeling that that ought to be considered a neck crank. I am aware of having annoyed both Carlos and Cindy by continually asking "why isn't (insert technique they just taught) a neck crank?" It's a legitimate question, and I really want to know- but after seeing the expression on their faces the last few times I asked this, I felt like I had better quit asking. (Maybe I can ask Doug later on....)  Note- try to get the bone at the base of the thumb right into the throat. Makes a huge difference. When Chrisanne did this, it made me want to tap as soon as she placed it there, even BEFORE she placed her belly on my head or did any pulling at all.

Positional training starting from one person standing, one person sitting on hir foot, rotating partners. After I lost Chrisanne, I had all huge guys- so I did not do too well with this. (The first was Big John, who is Big indeed, but experienced to be careful..... even so, Carlos stood over us and was like, "Be careful. Be careful. Don't put your hand there Watch your weight. Be careful.")

One roll with Chrisanne and one with Ben. Ben is definitely approching black belt level. He so effortlessly pretzels me any way he wishes. I tried to set up a kneebar, and he said, "Careful, Carlos will yell at you."  YES, I know!! Carlos wasn't looking, so I got away with it, although of course Ben easily shucked me off and triangled me.

I had really wanted to do a hard workout tonight. But I (surprise surprise) slept poorly and was pretty tired...was feeling some various and sundry injuries hampering me..... also, I had to take a decongestant before class. By the time I drove home, I was reeling with exhaustion, even though it was supposedly a nondrowsy variety. I think I still managed to put in a decent class (and stayed for two rolls after- yay me), but not as hard as I had wanted to work.

I have been good about eating tons of eggs lately. Mostly scrambled, although I found some frozen meat fritattas in the half-off section at the Safeway deli and really liked them. I am going to try to make my own slightly modified version.

Having a LOT of trouble controlling my snacking and binge-eating at work.  There is so often junk food there, even if I manage to refrain from bringing any with me. I have even resorted to the vending machine a couple of times lately, which I am usually too cheap to do- I need to NOT allow that to become a habit. I can feel the conditioning kicking in and I'm wanting to search for stuff to put in my mouth as soon as I finish my initial maintenence tasks and get a breather in the work flow. On Tuesday there was a trail mix in the break room. It had chocolate chips in it. After I had picked at this for a while despite myself, I took it down to the coat room to get it out of my sight. (Assistant: "Hey, where are you going with that? (looking like kicked puppy) "Well, I brought it to share... but maybe I just won't bring it any more." I tried to explain that I was watching my weight and I can't have snacks (especially chocolate) sitting at my elbow, but I managed to offend her. There's also one other assistant in particular who loves to bake and is always bringing in cookies and crap. She also gets all wilted and sad-puppy-faced if I put her stuff in the coat room. This is frustrating. It feels like even when I'm trying, other people are actively sabotaging me. I know they don't mean any harm, which makes me feel like a terrible person for hurting their feelings. But geez. Healthy eating is difficult enough without it being a social minefield with the people I have to work with every day.)

Around the world

If you think about it, we receive, evaluate and act on vibes every day- and we, as a species, are quite effective at it. Applying this to self-defense is not a new skill, it is applying a skill you already have in a new manner. Campfire Tales From Hell


Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue.

Tripod sweep. Note that Doug wants me to let go of the lapel and grab the sleeve cuff (on the same side as I have the elbow) BEFORE sitting.

"Around the world" drills- ie, side control, scarf, north south, scarf, side control..... is there a name for when you sit on your hip preparing to front mount??...... front mount, nameless again, side control.

I had a brand spanking new white belt with almost no English tonight, so that was interesting. I had to walk him through everything in excruciating detail, and mostly in pantomime. As least he didn't seem really weirded out by working with a girl. Sometimes some of the new foreign-born students are. This one only seemed the normal "novice grappler" amount of weirded out by things like north-south and putting a lot of weight on the opponent in side control.

20-minute roll with Doug. I seem to have acquitted myself ok, but I felt dissatisfied by how conservative and clingy I was playing. It seems that particularly with the black belts, I fail to flow- partly because I feel anxious that if I try to go faster, I'm going to do moronic stuff. Doug has been working with me long enough that he's not going to think I'm an idiot for doing a few dumb moves. I should let myself relax and experiment more with him. He's safe to do it with.

After an unfortunate potato chip encounter at work last week, I've restrained my eating in the last few days and dropped a couple of pounds. Bought 3 cartons of eggs today. Unfortunately, a Facebook friend posted a graphic photo of an egg she'd cracked open which was awfully chicken-fetus-y.  I find eggs pretty gross anyway- I try to not think about it- but that did not help. When I was about 7, I found an eye in the yolk of a hard-boiled Easter egg. It scarred me for life. I still look at eggs askance, and to this day I won't eat hard-boiled yolks. But when you're an athlete, you just sort of HAVE to do eggs.

Farewell to Georgette :(

Examine your agenda occasionally. What you want to believe will always get in the way of what you know. _Rory Miller


I drove to Edmonds today to get one last roll with Georgette before she leaves town. Always a joy to roll with her, Griff, Dandelion and Craig- and the former two always have helpful advice for me.

After class, I walked/sprinted two miles to an appointment in downtown Bellevue (I was a little late, hence the sprinting) and walked the two miles back. I was already feeling slight shin splints from the sprints (there's a tongue twister for ya).

Diet has been appalling lately. I have purposefully stayed out of the stores and away from the post V-Day candy sales, but the holiday aftermath at work has not been pretty: cookies, chocolate, some evil thing called "brownie bark" that I had never heard of and now wish it had remained so. I don't know how much damage has been done because I am afraid to weigh myself, but I do seem to observe some extra tiredness with may be at least partially attributable to sugar OD. I need to get back on track. Also: rain for the last several days, which has meant no yard work. The yard work, disappointingly,  does not seem to be a good weight loss tool... yet it is still satisfying on several levels to put in several hours of hard labor and be able to look at (at least a piece of) a job well done.

Six Thousand Details

There are thousands of things that can be used as weapons, and there are lots of ways to use them. –Rory Miller



3.5 Minute Plank. OMG. That hurts so bad. But thrilled that I can do it.

Fri evening BJJ in Bellevue.

The longer I do BJJ, the more complicated it gets. What used to look like a very simple basic guard pass now has about six thousand little details that you have to remember all at once.

Pulling guard, then basic (ha!) pass from 1)knees or 2)standing. Most persistantly troublesome details for me tonight:

1)Don't try to use brute strength to haul opponent's sleeve cuff up while you're trying to posture standing in hir guard, brace your elbow against your body and straighten your back.

2)Then move your knees closer together.

3)Don't grab the pants at the knee to push it down, grab the knee itself. Christy was having the same problem, so eventually we both started whispering "No pants! No pants!" to one another every time we began the pass.

4)Control the near arm using the sleeve as you take side control. I already have a good insinct to get that shoulder off he ground and keep it all nice and tight, but the process sure is a lot easier and works better if I remember to deliberately address that arm first and do the right things with it.

I was infuriated, frustrated, mindboggled and despairing to find that I was a pound up this morning despite having eaten tragically little *and* done BJJ **AND** went for a walk. I honestly do not understand how this is possible. I ate even less today. Spent much of both days feeling hungry, distracted and resentful.

I can do a 3 Minute Plank. Booyah!

You don't stop fighting until the fight is over. You don't need to go down just because you have taken a few hits. As long as you believe you can keep going you will. If you do go down, you are still going to win because you are going to gnaw through his Achilles' tendon and bring him down to where you can rip his head off. -Greg Hamilton



I had to take a little break from the 30 Day Plank Challenge because I caught a cold. It was too painful to tip my head forward because it made all sorts of bad things happen in my sinuses. I got back to the planks yesterday. The goal for that day was a  3 min plank; I would have been happy matching my previous 2.5 min. To my surprise, I was able to do the entire 3 min!

Between the 4lb I dropped when I had food poisoning, and the 4lb I dropped on CK's Cauldron-O-Vegetables Diet, I am down to 128. (I weigh the same as Chrisanne- hee hee). 4 more to 124, which is my ideal tournament weight. Probably won't get there before Proving Grounds, but that's okay- it probably won't matter for Proving Grounds.

I will almost certainly have to resort to Slim Fasts to get/stay at 124... As in, probably a tiny breakfast, a Slim Fast for lunch, and a miniscule dinner- permanently. I am still resentful that I have to stay below 1000 cal per day, but I think I am moving to a place of accepting that this is my reality. There are plenty of things about my reality that are not fair. This one- I can either keep denying it and be chunky, or I can just buckle down and deal with it. It's largely mental, anyway. It's difficult to resist snacking at work. If I am really good at work, then I feel all hungry and deprived when I get home in the morning, and I eat bad things before bed. So the trick is going to be eating enough at work that I don't want to binge in the morning, but not so much that it goes way over my calorie load.

I controlled myself in the grocery store the other day. That's another key. I'm usually pretty good about not buying crap on impulse, and I usually keep the fast food under control, so if I just don't have junk food in the house then there is less temptation. I have been buying one small treat when I get groceries.... this week it was a chocolate covered cinnamon roll- instead of buying a box of cookies or bag of candy or something evil from the bakery.

I've also managed to trim a couple of sodas from my daily routine- not enough to win me any trophies, but one or two... which is more progress than nothing. This part is more about my sleep than about my weight.

One more factor- I've been going down to the River almost every morning, which has the double bonus of getting me away from the refrigerator, and killing a few more calories scrambling over rocks and dragging driftwood home.

Thursday BJJ at Bellevue. All spars again. Griff was there, but I didn't get to roll with him today. I asked everybody to take my back, stay really tight on there, and sub me. That they could choose to let me go if I did an actual technique to escape, but to not let me just twist and squirm out of there. Again, a few of them tried to be a LITTLE tighter, but they are still going too easy. It is possible that the only thing that is going to make them ratchet it up is if I start going harder, being more aggressive and actually trying to sub them.

For the final spar, I tried to get Luiz, but someone else snatched him from under my nose. By that time, the only guy left was a very big, muscular white belt. I stalled at the water cooler briefly, glancing at Carlos... he will often switch people around when he sees that it's just me and a humongo white belt.... but Carlos was not in a mind to bail me out today, he just stood there with his stopwatch in his hand, looking at me with his eyebrows up, like "What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation?" (Only he would have said  "eengraved eenvitation"). So into the breach I marched, resolutely.

I guillotined the big guy and tapped him right away, then he got serious. I kept him off me with spider guard most of the rest of the time. He got into top side control once, and then just backed off and wanted to restart, because he doesn't know any subs from there yet. I told him to just try to flatten me out on my back (I was on my hip with my knees curled under), and that kept him busy for the rest of the match.

The basset hound

There is almost no place you can hit a human that physiologically stops them from shooting back. Shot to the heart? You’ve got roughly ten seconds to shoot back. Nothing below the first or second vertebrae prevents you from pulling a trigger. Headshots are not even reliable. A local man when I was a rookie took a .45 caliber slug between the eyes from three feet away and it bounced off his skull. In the 1977 murder of Baton Rouge officer Linda Lawrence, the threat took ten shots from a large caliber revolver including a contact shot to the solar plex area, a contact shot through the rib cage from side to side (The threat grunted and said, “You got me a good one that time,”  and threw Officer Lawrence’s partner across the room) and a contact shot through the top of the head. Even after the headshot, the threat got up one more time to fight. –Rory Miller



Monday: spent a couple of hours climbing rocks by the River with my new camera. Although jumping, sliding, and even STEPPING down is slow and careful these days due to the chronic pain in my knees, I was happy to find that I can still get anywhere that I want to get... anywhere that I would have expected to be able to get at 12 (which was ANYWHERE). No slips, no falls, even in marginal footwear and with the rocks and logs wet and frosty. I have the agility of a jungle cat.

Wednesday: Day 12 of the 30--Day Plank challenge. Up to 1.5 min.  The increments go up by 30 seconds from here, every couple of days. This is obviously not gradual enough to sanely get to 5 min for someone who has never planked.  But I will be interested to see how far I get.

Anica has thown out a 30-day "no junk food" challenge. This one is a gauntlet I will not be picking up! My response: "I would die." It has occurred to me, though, that it might be feasable to introduce a "no junk food" weekday (probably Wednesdays, since that's the final day of my rotation, and I usually have a sleep binge so there would be fewer conscious hours in which to exercise willpower). The "no soda" thing would be the real killer. Another idea: a "no junk food" hour. Hours to be added gradually. VERY gradually. Ha ha. I'd start with the middle of the day, because- again- I'd only be conscious for half of them. I really would like to do something about my terrible diet.

Thursday: More rock scrambling, not as much as on Monday, but enough to call exercise. I am trying to put  together a posse to pick up trash at Eagle Falls, which would also count as exercise.

The more I think about the junk food blackout hours, the better I like the idea. First blackout hour: 22:00 to 23:00. No Dr Pepper allowed during blackout hours, either.

I wanted to do some BJJ so bad today, but everything is closed. So I climbed the Index Wall with Cindy and Maddie. Cindy is not interested in pausing to admire plants, rocks, and views. It's all SPRINT up the mountain and then SPRINT back down... while I scurried in her wake, huffing like a basset hound and trying to not fall too far behind. Embarrassingly, I had to ask for a few short breaks. I didn't remember until we were halfway up the Wall that I have CK coming over for the next 2 days, and tai chi (along with anything else we might do) is going to be even more painful than usual on post-mountain-climbing swollen knees. Oh well. Suck it up, Buttercup!  Climbing the Index Wall is such great exercise.

Fri: CK told me an interesting story equating spoons to physical and mental resources, and told me that I seem to have too few spoons. She also likened my grim effort to do what I need to do each day with the resources I have on hand to a "death march".  Although a rich combo of facts is surely at work, these MOTHERFUCKING ALLERGIES are a the top of the list. Followed up by sleep issues. She wants me to try acupuncture. She also gave me a new supplement idea to try. I wish I could shake (or at least cut down) my caffeine addiction. I know it is not helping my sleep issues.

Sun: 30 Day Plank Challenge, day sixeen. Okay, the two minute plank SUCKS. 2.5 might be my breaking point. We'll see.

Blackout hour added: 10am to 11am. It is 10:04 right now, and I can't have a Dr Pepper.

CK made vegetables. A LOT of vegetables. My freezer is now holding more vegetables than I have eaten in the last eight years combined. I am going to eat them all.

I wonder if I am ever going to get back to BJJ class.  :(   :(   :(  Heavy withdrawl.

Thurs lunchtime: I made it back to BJJ class!!!!    All spars.  Came back home and was so exhausted that I went right to bed.

Fri evening: Annnnnnnnnnd all spars again.

Tomorrow I am supposed to do a 3 min plank. The 2.5 did not succeed in breaking me, but this one might.

That's because they have been working with CINDY.

Addiction is huge in crimes…. Because it is one of the few things that we experience in the modern era that imitates survival violence. Whatever you might do for food or water on the edge of death is what an addict will do to feed his addiction.   –Rory Miller


136

Friday lunchtime BJJ in Seattle.

You are sprawled N/S on turtled opponent. Cross right arm over your chest and stick it straight down to the mat beside hir neck as you spin to that side of hir body. Grab hir wrist. Hop to place your right knee against hir, take the back, KEEP THAT WRIST GRIP. This appears to be a straightforward attempt to take the back, but if you keep that wrist grip and throw your leg over opponent's head as you fall back, it turns into an armbar.

I got this really nice and smooth after several tries.... and then OF COURSE professor walks over to look JUST as I try to do it on the stupid side and mess it all up. Why does he always time it thusly???!!!

Same thing, only opponent clasps hands to try to defend the armbar. You transition back to the backtake.

One spar with Crisanne. She is doing great- assertive, heavy pressure on top, everything really tight. She tapped me twice. I wasn't going 100%, but I was going hard enough that I was quite impressed with her work. Lindsey rolled with her next, and when I saw him at his studio afterward, he raved (unprompted by me) about how much her jiu jitsu has progressed. He specifically praised her assertiveness (again, unprompted by me). I could just pop with pride. I PM'ed her and told her about it, and told her how proud I am of her.

Dieting angst: I might have had the time and energy for at least one more spar had I not been hungry enough to start chewing the mat. I am not sure how to deal with this issue. I could carry energy bars, but I really don't want to eat those caloric things while I'm trying to lose weight. I do carry Slim-Fast's for emergencies, but if I drink one of those and then try to roll, I am pretty sure I'd puke.

After class (and lunch), I went to Lindsey's studio and we put together my backpiece, part of which is the Ox Head pic that I used on yesterday's blogpost. I took my own weapons to the studio- we are going to arm him with my own bo staff, K-bar Khukri and Spyderco folding knife. The Victorian goth angel on the other half of the piece is going to have my actual tai chi sword. Lindsey is excited about the art, which is great- it's always a good thing when your tattoo artist actually likes the piece and you know s/he's going to enjoy working on it.

Evening BJJ in Bellevue. Doug got a big grin on his face as soon as he walked in and saw me, and challenged me to a death match. I'm feeling so much love from my teammates this week. Honestly, I have just worked with so many awesome drill partners and sparring partners- people who push me, and with whom I have fun, and from whom I learn. I am gonna have to write a gooshy FB post to all three GB pods.

Almost all King Of the Hill from various positions with Prof's Doug and Sean down.   Haven't done this for a while, and after three classes in two days, this was probably the best possible thing as opposed to trying to cram yet another set of techniques. There were only about 6 of us (besides the Prof's), so we did not get much downtime.

Did I mention how fortunate I am feeling at class this week??? Six students and three black belts on the mat. Who gets these ratios???? How incredible is this?

Doug and Sean were raving after class about what good wrestlers the two unfamilar (to them) white belts were. I said (since they were familiar to ME!) "Yes, that's because they are from the Kirkland pod and they have been working with CINDY!!!!!)

Two long spars with Christy. She is also working very hard and doing extremely well. She- like Chrisanne- is very very good about listening to everything I say and incorporating it into her game. I tried to KOB and mount her several times, and she got the hell outta there before I could count 3. I'm so proud of my ladies.

Then one with Doug. Always a treat. I was doing a lot of skating around from side to side on top, very flowy.  Something I always can use practice on.

It's a purple belt world.

Standing up to a person only draws a line around your territory. Defending it is what keeps you safe.  –Marc MacYoung



Sunday: 134.2

I know intellectually that pop bloats you, but it is truly astounding to what extent decreasing (not eliminating, just decreasing) the amount of pop for just two days has deflated the appearance of my protruding Buddha-belly. I swear, dieting would be so much easier if I was more vain about my appearance.

But here's something that actually MIGHT inspire me: concealing my pistol in its belly-holster may be easier if my belly is flatter. Yeah, that's it.

Also, when I lose weight, my boobs get smaller. Lord knows, life is better on the martial arts mat with every cup size lower.

Unfortunately, past history has proven that for me- unlike most people- eliminating pop altogether does not result in immediate weight loss.

Monday: 135.6
Tues: 135.6

Eggs- it's what's for dinner. And lunch. Tonight my assistant informed me that if I didn't lay off the carrots, I was going to turn orange. I informed her that I was okay with that, as long as I am FIT and orange.

Thurs: 136

I've been really really good all week with food. Less food and wiser choices. Slightly less successful with pop, but I did cut down.

Leslie, Casey and Cindy are all injured and off the mat. I'm feeling grateful and privileged at the moment that I'm not on the bench, because I know well how that feels.

Thurs lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

(blue belt) Jay, looking up and down the line: "We're the only two blue belts??!"
(blue belt) Nick:  "Guess so."
They look left at the three or four white belts, then they look right at the eight or ten purple belts.  Jay mutters something about "...........purple belts....."
Kitsune: "It's a purple belt world, Jay."
Jay: "So they tell me, Kitsune.... so they tell me."

Standup drills- double legs, single legs, sprawl on opponent's failed double-leg and then spin around to the side and take the back. Carlos suggested pulling the guy into your lap instead of jumping on hir back.

Opponent kneeling, you in butterfly guard. Cross-grip the arm and yank hir to all fours. Sink one leg into a deep half guard position, then take hir back either by climbing aboard or pulling hir into your lap. I do not feel comfortable with this technique on someone bigger than me (which means 99.9% of people). Once I have that leg sunk in there, all s/he has to do is sink down on it, and I am pinned on the bottom. If s/he's going to be mean, s/he can just keel over and capsize on top of me and crush me like a cockroach. I am in a position with a very limited set of options, and have no mobility to get elsewhere.  Even John was like, "I guess this isn't really workable for your body," after we messed with it for a while. I won't say of a technique, "I _CAN'T_ do X with my body" because every time I try to go there, Cindy (who is as small as I) does it with no problem. So I won't write it off.... but for my present level, this doesn't seem like a good one.

Positional sparring from the above position. I sucked from heep half, but I am pretty good at escaping back mount- even after explaining to John exactly what he needed to do to stop me.
A couple of spars.

Thurs evening BJJ in Kirkland. I haven't been to Kirkland in ages, and I miss Dave. I miss Cindy too, but Mondays and Wednesdays are not good for training, with my present work schedule- I haven't seen her in a couple of months.  :(

Warmups at Kirkland are longer and more tiring than they usually are at Bellevue.  It's a good thing  (pant, puff).

Pummeling.  I suggested to white belt that he not bend at the waist, but bend his knees if he finds me too short to comfortably pummel with. He did not straighten up. Okay, fine, buddy, take it or leave it. I don't care. I'm going to guillotine the snot out of you if you do that while we're sparring.

Flow drill: You on your back, partner standing, your feet on hir hips. S/he grabs your legs and tosses them to one side, steps to your hip. You shrimp out, cross far leg over top and replace guard.

Guillotines from standing; operating from failed double-leg.

Keylocks from mount. Dave suggests that if we're having trouble getting opponent's arms off hir chest, to first press the elbow down and then lever the wrist to the side.

Same entry, then opponent tries to roll away from your keylock. Transition to S mount, do not change grips. Clasp hir arm to your chest and straighten your back. Transition to armbar. You still do not need to change grips. Found myself wanting to, but tried to resist urge.

Same entry, now try to bow and arrow hir instead of armbar. Variation: windshield-wipe your shin against hir back and sit, pulling hir into your lap. Kick that leg out and place it over hir arm.

Also note: it is helpful to take up any slack in that pantleg before securing the grip near the knee.

A few spars.

Really tired. This two-classes-per-day thing is not easy. I am going to try to do it again tomorrow.

Ten seconds!! Ten seconds!!

If he or she has the right mindset, the killer will beat the fighter almost every time.   –Rory Miller



137

Yes, even though it seems as if competition is not helping my jiu jitsu right now, it is true that those rigid dates with the tournament scale are good for diet discipline. As soon as I decided to take a break from competing, I promptly gained 5lb. So I decided on a new tactic: my tattoo artist (who, incidentally, just won second place for "best sleeve" at the Seattle Tattoo Expo) has been posting all sorts of rad pics of his work and making me salivate more and more for additional ink. I had told myself that I was going to get my back started the next time I had a benching-level injury, but now I'm thinking that I'm going to use the tat as a carrot (double meaning definitely intended) to get back down to weight. I'm feeling reasonably strong about it at the moment- for the last two days I have not only cut my soda intake by more than half (this is actually the hardest part for me!), I have stocked up on the eggs and carrots, as well as decreasing my portions of everything else and just generally trying to wait a little longer before bowing to hunger and eating something. Even yesterday when I went to the Chinese restaurant with CK (AGAIN!!!!), I ate all the carrots and broccoli on my plate (although I am not fond of cooked veggies) and took half the chicken teriyaki home (it made TWO subsequent diet-sized meals). Yes, rice happened, and I know rice is very bad for me, but I'm still satisfied about the way I handled that. I'm going to take a humongo bag of carrots to work during my next rotation. Work is a dangerous time for the munchies (and the pop).

Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue. There were only 4 of us there, besides the prof. The five of us were in full agreement that BJJ is MUCH MUCH more important than a Seahawks game. I don't know what is wrong with those people.

At first it looked like I was going to get paired up with Lance, which is pretty funny... because even at my fattest, he makes about eight of me. I ended up with (white belt) Shawn.

You have closed guard. Yank opponent's opposite-side sleeve cuff while pulling hir down with your legs. Hug around hir shoulder with your free arm. Now that you have hir arm pinned between your bodies, you can let go of the sleeve and use that arm to reach under hir thigh. Note that your arm should go OVER TOP of hirs. Twist your body into an X formation opposite your opponent's. (Prof Herbert was using a foot on the hip to help it along; that didn't seem to be working very well for me). Swing your far leg to help sweep your opponent. It is good to keep your near knee pasted to the back of hir shoulder blade as you swing up on top; as well as keeping that front heel pasted to hir chest- this keeps hir pinned on hir side and you find yourself in S mount (I love S mount). At this juncture you may appreciate why you wanted your arm to go over top of hirs- as you now have that arm pinned along your body and under your armpit.  I elected to then step over Shawn's face and finish the armbar. Herbert was delighted to see me go there, to the point of having me demo the sequence on HIM for the next drilling section (whee!!).

Next: same entry, only now you focus on the fact that as you place your arm over top of opponent's while reaching for the thigh, you are actually in a rather pleasant position should you choose to bring your other leg over hir face and do an armbar right there. I am always thrilled to drill armbars from guard (or permutations thereof), as I keep thinking these are going to be ideal for my game, yet I continue to fail to integrate them into my live sparring. I have a feeling that if I can ever get that switch flipped and start remembering them under pressure, I'm going to be cracking elbows merrily left and right all day long.

As usual, my technical issue to work on (as pointed out by Herbert) is that I should really try to get my second leg higher up into the opponent's armpit. With effort, I was able to improve this on one side, but not the other (it seems that my hip is more flexible on one side).

Finishing with a 10-min spar with Shawn. He's a  good partner; not too big, pretty careful, muscles a bit (hey, he's a white belt) but not too much. I was inspired by the fact that the prof was circling around us watching the whole thing, and I was on top quite a bit, although I started to get really tired in the last few minutes and ended up getting tapped. As Shawn let me up, Herbert said, "Ten seconds left," and I threw myself at Shawn, shrieking, "Ten seconds!! Ten seconds!!" as I jumped guard and started frantically hauling on his lapels trying to get a choke. Didn't get one. But it was a fun spar.

Not quite cauliflower

Maintaining honor and winning are indirect goals. Killing is a direct goal. Working toward direct goals peels a lot of bullshit off of your tactics.  –Rory Miller



Lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

Standup: double leg setups.

Then, double-leg setup switching to a rear bear hug. Trap the far arm (not the one on the side you circled around on), and point your face toward the trapped arm so that you don't get an elbow in the nose.

I thought I could go without my headgear for a while..... it's so damn hot.... and wound up getting "not-quite-cauliflower-but-getting-there". Just from pressing the side of my head against the guy's gi while I was doing the double-leg setups. Silver lining: this does prove that I'm being good about keeping my head up and pasted well against his side.

Armbars from KOB.

Spar with John. I managed to twist my bad ankle. I'm limping on it now, which ticks me off because I have a day of hiking planned tomorrow.

Spar with Amy, finally. She is pretty tough, but I was happy to see that I could handle her. I did notice a few improvement points for her, which I hope were helpful.
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Evening BJJ in Bellevue.

Double leg setups again, which I was not thrilled about due to my gimpy ankle and the fact that my knees where still whimpering about the previous round of double leg setups. Carlos showed us a new one, involving grabbing both heels  (one from the outside, one from the inside). He didn't really talk about the shoulder pressure on the leg, but I was pleased to note that even though I have never seen anything like this before, I was able to ID that shoulder pressure on that particular spot as the REAL meat of the technique.

You are in side control and moving to mount, opponent bridges toward you, you pop over hir back and S-mount. Advance to armbar or ezekiel, depending on whether the arm is over or under yours. I struggled with this because I had to keep pausing to note where the arm was and then try to remember which option that meant taking.

A little KOtH from closed guard, pass vs sweep. I did pretty poorly at this, despite the fact that we were divided into 3 weight classes and I didn't have to deal with the behemoths tonight. I was getting pretty tired by this time.

One roll with Lindsey. I got a tap, which made me happy, as she makes me work for it.

I'm having some trouble keeping my weight from creeping up, now that I'm taking a break from comps. I'm trying to gear up to go on a little diet. I think disciplining myself about snacking at work is going to be a major key right now.

He can punch you

In most cases, aggression beats skill.  –Rory Miller

Thurs: 127

I've been undisciplined lately with the Dr Pepper, and I have also been having some pasta (I've stayed away from pasta and rice for months). I am doing well with portion control and snacking (lack thereof, or substituting healthier items).

So.... sore........

Lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.  Silken Needle, Five Animals, and Leopard Fist to warm up. I haven't done any Kung Fu forms in a long time.

Guard pull drills. All.... hour......

More work than sparring, more work than pretty much anything except constant takedown work.

My performance started to flag in the final 1/3, as I was weary unto death.

I have been reading a lot of Rory Miller lately. One of the things I sometimes worry about now that I'm not actively training Kung Fu is that I don't want to become a "sport" martial artist. I still feel that the training I do at Gracie Barra is largely usable for defense... but it occurs to me more strongly lately that when I get trapped on the bottom, and/or when I'm doing "Clench-N-Cling", those would be times for an assailant to 1)punch me, or 2)try to pull out a knife or other weapon. It would probably be good if I made an effort to focus- at least part of the time- on imagining that my grapping opponent can punch me or pull a weapon. This might spur me to be more actively mobile, and also not get stuck in a "sport" mentality where I forget that theoretically, people can punch me.

Damn your spider guard

There is no need to travel to exotic places, load up on drugs, or drive one hundred miles an hour to feel alive. It is not necessary to look for particularly strong sensations, because when the five senses are awakened, every sensation is a strong one. The scent of the earth after a summer storm. The embrace of a lover. The vastness of the sky above. Small experiences that could travel through our consciousness without leaving any trace become the messengers of a beauty that cannot be measured. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

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Pic: After Defensive Folding Knife class at Insights Training, you get to try your new moves on a side of meat which has been duct-taped into a pair of blue jeans.
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Friday:
133.0

Spent an hour before work playing raquetball. I was defeated in an epic fashion, but it was a nice little workout.

Wore my ankle weights all day at work. I haven't done that in a while, largely because my knees and feet already hurt and I'm anxious about making the plantar fasciitis hurt worse than it already does. I probably won't be doing this every day (like I was was a few years ago), but I'll do it once in a while and see how it goes. May have to get a new pair of ankle weights.... this was a nice set (kind of a splurge), but I have worn them enough that they are... worn. And the velcro is starting to go.
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Sat:  133.5  (grrrrr) I had 910 calories yesterday, plus somebody at work gave me an unlabelled cookie that obviously put me over 1000. I had hoped that the hour of raquetball would let me get away with that single cookie, but apparently not.

I wore the ankle weights all day at work again.

 I have separated out a bunch of my too-baggy hospital scrubs for donation. Part of the reason it's easy to let a few extra pounds creep on is that I'm wearing pajamas (scrubs) at work, pajamas (gi) at class, and pajamas (pajamas) at home. Drawstring waistbands all the way, baby. Scrubs are supposed to be baggy, and nothing ever fits me anyway- but seriously, I have scrubs that I could fit four of me inside.
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Sun: 132

Hello, normal-walking-around weight. It's been a little while since we checked in.

My Evil Twin is trying to cuisine-educate me. Back to the eggs.
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Mon: 132
Tues: 132.5 (ankle weights)
Weds: 133 (Razzafrackin....)  (ankle weights)

I lost all semblance of culinary self-control today; which I suspect had less to do with feeling defeatist about that pound gain (altho there was that) and more to do with skipping my Crystal Light. I used to swill Dr Pepper all day, now I swill Crystal Light all day. I'd like to go off artificial sweeteners, but I made a conscious decision to use the Crystal Light as a crutch to wean myself off the soda. Well, today I skipped it, and did not attempt to replace it with plain water. The result: I think I was subconsciously searching for something to put in my mouth, and probably a little dehydrated as well. Lesson learned. My assistant plied me with carrots, otherwise it would have been even worse.

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Thurs: 133.5 (I deserve that)  I redeemed myself today, though- I walked right past a New York Cupcakes Shop. I did not go inside.


Thursday evening advanced class at Bellevue.  Drills. For some reason, we were doing 43 reps of everything today. It seemed to be some kind of inside joke that I was not privy to.

Standup: one lapel grip and one elbow grip. Go to pull guard (make sure you are a:stepping on the ELBOW GRIP side, and b:turning your toe out). Foe steps that leg back. Now you let go of the lapel and ankle pick his other leg.

Bullfight guard pass to front mount. Hang onto that far pantleg until you can use it to move the legs into place for your mount.

Opponent standing, you sitting before hir. Scoot forward and turn the corner, hug the leg. Place front palm on the mat. Technical lift, using heel to lift opponent's foot. Stand up and scoop opponent's leg up, hold it against your chest. (I was corrected on hand position here- do not allow fingers to splay out, you are asking for a broken finger.) Stand very close to opponent- hip to hip.

Bullfight guard pass, but foe turns toward you as you run around. You place your elbow on hir belt, then continue the turn so that your shoulder blades are on opponent and your belly to the ceiling. Now turn BACK the way you came, while scuttling around toward the head. Somehow the opponent's arm usually magically appears to be scooped up, and you finish in side control. Then front mount.

When I saw this last one, I was like, "No way." But it actually turned out to be really smooth- altho only on one side. Every time I tried to do it on the Stupid Side, I messed it up.

Ron: Errrk....Oooh!

Kitsune: Are you okay?

Ron: Yeah.

Kitsune: Seriously- am I being too heavy?

Ron: Good shoulder pressure.

I had mentioned to him earlier that I could tell he was being nice- thank you- but his top pressure was still really, really, good.

“Damn your spider guard…..”   I’m pretty sure that was a compliment from a biggish blue belt to me……

Taking out the trash

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof."
- RICHARD BACH


Saturday: My tongue is about three sizes too big for my mouth today.

I have never really had need of a mouth guard, but yesterday while getting tossed around by those two huge guys, I bit my tongue in several places. Large white belts can be very JARRING.
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Thursday: no-gi followed by "black belt" classes at Bellevue.

No-gi: all spars. I was expecting to get my butt handed to me, since I have done almost zero no-gi since Cindy's school closed, and it has always been a weak area for me anyway. Surprisingly, I was competitive with everybody (expect for Casey, who is too far above my level for me to expect to be competitive with). I forget that since GB Seattle and its affiliates do very few no-gi classes, most of these folks have had less no-gi experience than I have.

Black belt: Butterfly sweep, then "Taking out the trash."

Opponent starts in your butterfly guard, lying on your torso. Bump up and slide horiz forearm under hir head to brace along collarbone. Use free arm to post on floor, and let the knee on that side lie on the mat. Scoot butt back a little. "Windshield-wiper" your forearm under hir armpit and hug around hir back. On the other side, hug hir arm to your chest so s/he can't post, and lie down on your side, lifting opponent's leg with your hooked toe. One s/he is over, you can go to side control, scarf, KOB or front mount.

"The trash": As you attempt this sweep, opponent places sole on mat just before you lie down. You underhook it and hug the leg to your ear, then rock opponent backward towards hir hip. This is counterintuitive, as most sweeps seem to have you aiming to roll hir toward the shoulder- but s/he has a free post up there, so you have to go for the hip. Care must be taken to extricate your foot (and ideally the arm as well) before we settle.

A little positional sparring from butterfly guard. Kelly and I both kinda suck at butterfly guard, although she did manage to accomplish two sweeps to my goose egg.

A couple of spars. I was competitive with Kelly, although I did apologize to her once for using a weight advantage. I determinedly avoided her legendary "bear trap" closed guard, chanting "No-no-no-no-no-no!" every time she tried to pull me into it, which made her laugh. She started doing the same thing when I went for collar chokes. Neither of us got any taps.

I was down to 135.5 Friday morning. Not going to hit my goal of 132 before departure for Illinois, but 134 seems doable and I'll be okay with that. It will give me that much more incentive to not go hog wild at the campground- where I won't have access to a scale (nor to a fridge and microwave, which makes it easier to eat small frequent meals and control portions). I don't want to find that on my return, I have bounced right back up to 139.