Breaking up is hard to do

You can use a strong wrestler's strength against him, but it is almost impossible to defend against a mental edge. Every time you execute a move, the smarter wrestler will counter, attack and counter. The smarter wrestler,  the wrestler with the better technique, with the better inventory of moves, with the agility and mental toughness to keep coming at you, is the wrestler who will win.-Kyle Maynard


Thursday BJJ at Bellevue: all spars.

Friday I missed. I spent the first half of the day in bed with a headache and extreme exhaustion. I felt somewhat better in the afternoon, but decided to not push my luck with getting repeatedly hurled o the ground and throttled.  This turned out to be a fortunate thing, as my house nearly burned down that evening- and that is an that you don't really want to miss. The animals and I were evacuated and spent 2 days sleeping on Cindy's floor. ("The house is really dirty," she says when I call her to inform her that all five of us are inviting ourselves over for an indefinite length of time. "Cindy, my standards right now are very low. If it's not ON FIRE, it will look great to me.") Luckily the area fire department was on point and they did not let my house burn down. Tense weekend, though.

Thursday- all spars again. I got an armbar on Amy that I was very pleased with- it was from a weird position and I am still not great at sussing those out. Amy beats me now 7 times out of every 8, so it was that much more the sweeter. (Note that I need to remember she is VERY GOOD at grabbing kimuras as I pass her guard. She got me *TWICE* with the same routine.) I managed to mess up my shoulder.... I had a few moments of "I should really tap now, but I DON'T WANNA tap...." Thought I was over that crap, but the ego still rears its ugly head once in a while. And now I pay.

Thought I might have to sit out Friday due to shoulder, but Chrisanne said she'd come in, so I went (feeling safe in her hands).

Standing guard pass to KOB

Standing guard pass to KOB to kimura

Standing guard pass to KOB to armbar

I was happy that I am finally remembering consistantly to grab the pants with that armbar. I am also now able to usually remember to pin the opponent between my shin and knee. Still need to get a bit better about clasping the forearm to my chest (grab my own lapel if need be). Carlos also wants me to clasp the forearm more closely to my chest in the kimura.

A little positional sparring from spider guard- pass vs defend.

So there's where it happened.... I stacked Chrisanne- not much, but apparently too much- and hurt her neck.  I was horrified to have hurt her YET AGAIN, and Carlos walked over and told us we had to stop seeing each other for a while.

I feel terrible. I have always prided myself on my control, and on being able to be careful while working with smaller and less experienced opponents. Right now I am feeling insecure about something that I have always felt was one of my biggest strengths in BJJ.  It is making me feel tentative, and I hate that- I have been fighting "tentative" in myself all along and this is feeding my dragon.

 Chrisanne is difficult because I know she does not want me to go easy on her.... and she's good enough that if I *do* go easy on her, she's just going to dominate me to the point that it's not going to be useful for either of us. I'm pretty sure she would be pissed off at me if I started doing that.

Also- she had had a shitty day. She felt allergy-ill and didn't plan to come in, and then she had some bad crap happen to her and decided to come and and blow off some frustration. I feel really awful that instead of helping her do that, I ended up making her feel worse.

In better news: I have managed to drop 14 of the 15lb that I gained from being on sleeping pills. I am relieved. I didn't like being that weight- it felt like I was wearing a fat suit. going to have to be very careful from now on.

Blocking with your face

"A small daily task, if it really be daily, will beat the labors of a spasmodic Hercules." -Anthony Trollope


Friday BJJ in Bellevue: A second helping on Brazilian Buffet. I did well at staying on top of people tonight, but still lack in the subbing stage.
--------
Thurs BJJ in Bellevue: Dreels. Pummelling, Double-leg takedowns, then gradually adding side control, KOB, then a weird armbar that I can't even begin to describe.

It was nice to be dreelling with Amy, who is always ready to put in a serous effort. Also, she is now advanced enough to be really good for dissecting things and experimenting. In fact, we experimented so much that we got in trouble with the prof.

One long roll with Justin. We rolled until Carlos kicked us out of the gym.
------------------
Missed Friday class because I picked up an extra work shift, but I did get a walk- as I always do when I work day shift, because I am too cheap to pay a parking fee at the hospital garage.


I'm down seven pounds (there was a week-long plateau in there...).  I was doing one can of pop per day at first but now I'm back up to 2 or 3. That's still an improvement over my usual, although I continue to see little if any change in my weight, energy level or anything else by cutting down pop. I have been working hard at one of my biggest hurdles- snacking at work. Also, having mouse-sized meal portions pre-portioned is a good tactic- It prevents me from going into the kitchen raving hungry and sticking a giant portion in the microwave. If I'm still hungry after my single mouse-portion, I try to wait a while before having another.

I'm hungry a lot. I always complain about trying to control my weight, but it's ten times harder when you're on a medication that is actively working against you and trying its damndest to turn you into a blimp.
-----------------------
Thursday BJJ. I had to do evening no-gi because my dog needed to see the vet in the afternoon. Can't remember the last time I did no-gi.

Double-leg takedown drills, to side control, to front mount. Let them bridge, then take the back and choke.

Double-leg to side control, opponent defends the mount by putting foot on knee. You turn and sit on your hip facing hir feet. Overhook hir thigh and pull it UP  (scoot your butt back first, or it won't work) and then down to the mat. (Opponent's back is now twisted painfully.) Place the sole of your foot on the mat between hir knees and scoot your other knee up to hir belly. Take the elbow closest to hir feet and place it on the mat on the far side of hir hip. Summersault over your shoulder so that your head is at hir feet. As you go over, make sure your knee is hooked securely behind hir knee- grab the ankle with your hand and stuff it further in there just to be sure. This will flip and twist the person right into your back mount. It's complicated, but lord is it ever smooth once you get all  the steps right.... and from having had it done to me, it's one of those "WTH just happened??!??" moments.

Positional training starting from several points of this technique. While takedown sparring, I went for an aggressive underhook on Chrisanne and she blocked with her face. As a general rule- blocking with your face is never a good plan. Luckily I did not break her nose, but I felt awful.

I have lost half of my medication-induced extra weight. It is coming off very reluctantly. Long plateaus. Hungry ALL THE TIME.   :(

I've got all the answers. Well, THIS one, anyway.

”We either make ourselves miserable,
or we make ourselves strong.
The amount of work is the same.”
- Carlos Castaneda


Thursday lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

Man, I wish I could get to class more often. I was so happy to be in class. Carlos even remarked on the fact that I was laughing a lot today.

We did a bunch of spider guard sweeps that had about 862 steps with 5 critical little details in each step, and I have just tried and failed to transcribe any of them... although with Camille's help, I did okay performing them. She is better than I am at regurgitating long sequences of choreography, which is a persistent struggle for me.

I had one delicious moment of triumph today. Carlos demo'ed to the middle of one of these sequences, and said, "Now what if your opponent does THEES right now?" The front half of the line shouted several suggestions, all of which Carlos tried and demonstrated the wrongness of.  Then he told us to experiment with our partners and see if we could figure out something that would work. I immediately hipped out and transitioned to an armbar- AND I WAS RIGHT(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I was the only one who figured it out!!!!!!!!! To be fair, this was partly because we had been doing sweeps all day and everyone else was searching for a way to salvage the failed sweep. Whereas I- either because I still retain a ridiculous amount of always-attacking Tiger attitude, or just because my sweeps suck- went for a sub instead.

Related and funny: at one point, the prof noted that during the sequence of one of these sweeps, we must pause and remove our opponent's arm from the place where it naturally ends up, because if we fail to do so, it turns into a bicep slicer and we will get DQ'ed. He demo'ed the bicep slicer, and obviously noted my eyes lighting up (as they do whenever a choice bit of "bonus violence" presents itself).  He looked at me sternly and said, "Keetsune. You do thees in competition?" "No sir."

One spar with Camille, one with the tattooed purple belt whose name I can never remember, one with Jason. All fun rolls. Tattoed purple belt keeps pulling guard on me, and I tried to tell him that I'd like to work standup and that it's okay for him to take me down, as long as he doesn't slam me. He's one of those people who insists on being a little *too* careful with me.

Had to skip the structured dog walk tonight.... even January would have been disenchanted with the freezing rain. We have been hearing all week about this monster storm that's supposed to be coming in, and apparently the world is supposed to end and everything, but it has yet to materialize (except for some freezing rain). Rilla and I took dogs out in the rain yesterday (on her urging... we decided even 20 min was better than nothing.... if it had just been me I would have bailed, which is why I want walking partners to push me... I thanked her), and the sun ended up coming out and we walked for 2 hours. Particularly glad to get that in, in case we are stuck inside for the next week.

Uphill, then downhill.

The stakes aren’t just pride and emotion. They can get real serious, real quick- even if you thought you were playing for such penny-ante shit as your pride. –Campfire Tales From Hell


I am missing some classes because my insomnia rages unchecked. There are many times when I just do not feel safe to get behind the wheel. The doc has informed me that I may work my way up to four of these prescription sleeping pills (and presumably not die). I took two yesterday (I skipped the one-and-a-half step) and it did nada.

Thursday lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

Standup, judo grips: Turn almost side-by-side with opponent and stick your near leg between hir feet really far back. When s/he shifts balance to the other foot to try to move away or seek a steadier stance, quickly yank your foot out and trip hir OTHER foot. Speed, correct timing, and getting the person offbalance are key.... as well as being a convincing actor and making the foe think that you really are fixated on that near leg.

Standup, you put an arm up to guard and the opponent grabs your wrist/forearm. Extricate arm (keeping opponent's arm) and scoot almost side-by-side again- only this time you grab the belt. Don't go to the back. This was just a setup, but it was almost irresistible to do a straight armbar from here. Unfortunately, the straight armbar involves stepping back, and Carlos wanted us to step forward.

Triangles from open guard, baiting opponent to yank hir sleeve cuff away from you so that s/he pulls one arm back.

One spar with Christy. I am always expecting her to smash me; she's technical, very strong, has MUCH better cardio, and some weight on me. I haven't rolled with her much in a while, but the last few times I have, I was able to control her. I even got a sub today (head and arm choke). I also had several pointers for her in regards to her upcoming competition.

One spar with a four stripe white belt girl. I was able to handle her pretty easily.

These two elderly dogs are still walking/hiking me into the ground, and it's embarrassing. The upside is that we are getting lots of exercise. Nor do they like to allow me to stroll along. Unless I work really hard- with constant attention- to rein them in, we are power-walking the entire time (regardless of terrain). One problem I'm running into is that many of the trails here go UP a mountain and then back DOWN. Coming down is a bitch on my bad knees, even when I'm not being yanked along by an impatient dog who never gets tired. If I have to walk downhill, I'd much rather do it FIRST, when I'm fresh.

The dog workout

Giving in to the urge to tell someone to fuck off can have lifetime results. Odds are good this guy will be out of your face and life in a few moments. But if you give in to the impulse, well, remember every time you “play”, you’re taking a chance.   –Campfire Tales From Hell



Well, it was not the caffeine. Nor the sugar.

I stayed on one soda per day (first thing in the morning) for a week.. Hardly any sugar, either. There was not one iota of change in my sleep patterns, my anxiety level, my energy level, or my weight. I am going to have to go to the doctor. Upside: now I can have my Dr Pepper, since I have proven that it doesn't do a damn thing to me.

Went hiking with CK last week- Twin Falls and Deception Creek. We were both tired, and not pushing hard physically. On her last day, we did a little stance work. Once again, just STANDING with CK is more exhausting than sparring with anyone else.

I got the dog on Wednesday. Well, dogS.... because I have White Knight Complex, I was unable to say no to the elderly dog's elderly buddy... and I consider myself damn lucky to have not ended the week with all three of them. The second dog is a foster- meaning I do not have to pay his vet bills. I have too many pets right now. It is a stressor. But they are all elderly or special-needs or both, and let's be real- chances are that one or another of them will kick off soon and I will be back to four, which is a number I feel I can cope with.

We are doing a ton of walking (which was part of the point of obtaining a dog). Up and down the neighbor's driveway, mostly, a ten-minute dirt-road stroll through the woods.  Yesterday we walked for two hours around Al Borlin Nature trail and downtown Monroe (where we were attacked  by a purse dog). Today we went to Big Eddy, which is only about 1.5 miles from my place.

The dog I picked is exactly what I wanted. She basically walks when I want to walk, and otherwise she is napping and completely unobtrusive and undemanding. It's like having a hiking buddy that you take out of a drawer when you want to walk, and then put away when you are done. The foster is proving to be more high-maintenence (no good deed goes unpunished). He's a dear, but he has a dismaying amount of energy for an elderly dog, and is constantly in my face. Tonight he was dragging me along on the leash (he wanted to RUN!!!), and when I tried to wear him out afterward with rowdy playing in the dog run, he wore ME out instead. Well, he is certainly going to be forcing me to get plenty of extra walking. It's going to be challenging for me to try to keep up with him, and even more challenging for my poor dog (who is game, but arthritic, and her legs are about half the length of his).


Thursday evening no-gi in Bellevue. It was fun to drill with Peter.

Pummelling, double-leg setups, Standing guard passes. Standing guard pass to KOB. Standing guard pass to KOB to back take. Two or three variations of the bottom person trying to defend, and the top person switching gears and completing the pass in a different way. I would have liked to get down the details of these, but I didn't blog it last night like I should have, and now the details are escaping my mind.

King of the hill: pass vs sweep, pass vs resist/submit. I got spanked; I drew exclusively very talented people. I did achieve one guard pass on a guy which surprised me. I hope he didn't hand it to me.

Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue. Drill-Till-Ya-Puke night. All from standing guard passes, which is a real bitch on my knees (and my thighs). Standing guard pass to KOB. Standing guard pass to KOB to armbar. Standing guard pass to KOB to kimura. After working with each of these for a few minutes, we drilled each 100 times. I had to hustle to keep up with Chrisanne, whose Monkey Bar Gym work and clean eating have me eating her dust. My thighs are on fire. I did well with remembering to grab the pants on the armbar. Also worked on pinching my knees together, a persistant failing of mine. I did less well with the kimura. I get lazy with the grips, especially when I am tired and trying to go fast.  The many, many, fast standing guard pass reps put me in a dangerous place- when I get really tired, I am prone to rolling my ankle out and twisting it badly. I did that tonight, but fortunately it was not too severe- I was able to continue, and it's not swelling or aching much at all later (thank you gods).

Chrisanne and I had wanted to spar after, but we were both too wiped out.

My thighs are going to be twin pillars of pain in the morning. Not looking forward to being hauled along that dirt road, but it will be the best thing for them. (A little hair of the dog, har har.)

A double dose of Dave

The guys who are the most dangerous are usually the ones who- to use a poker term- have the smallest “tells”. It’s not the wild-eyed, drooling-in-your-face mad dawg who’s the most dangerous. (Although odds are good such a person will beat you bloody if you give him an excuse.) Be far more concerned about the guy who doesn’t seem concerned about your “message” of what a big bad ass you are. Take for example the guy who- calmly- leans back in his chair and keeps his voice level- while his hand floats out of sight under the table. If someone isn’t getting uptight about your threat displays, odds are you dun tree’d yourself a bad ‘un.   –Campfire Tales From Hell



Saturday lunchtime no-gi in Kirkland. Cindy was not there because she was at a seminar, but it was very nice to see Dave... and Dave... again.

 haven't been to a Dave class in a long time, and it was amusing as heck to see how much he is turning into Cindy. Not just the way he moves, but his SPEECH PATTERNS as he teachers are mimicking hers. It's a compliment. I'd love to be able to turn into Cindy. I doubt I have the raw material, though!

Standing guard pass vs replace open guard drills, standing guard pass to KOB drills, standing guard pass to KOB to stepping over the head and going to KOB on the other side. Note that when you step over, your shin should be touching the hip already.

Front mount to setting up what looks like it's going to be a mounted triangle, but then turns into an armbar. You do not need to step over and lie down. Dave placed his shin on the opponent's face. I hate kneeling on my partners' faces. The girl I was working with had no problem doing so to me. Thus her mounted triangle position and armbars were nice and tight, and mine were loose because I was trying to be gentle. Good for her,  you go girl!

Positional sparring from front mount. Retain vs sweep/escape.

The woman asked what belt I was, and I told her that this is no-gi, so it doesn't matter. I was trying to fly under radar for the people I didn't know (I like that we are not pressured to wear belts for no-gi at Kirkland), and I kept having to stop myself from automatically going to the front of the line when we lined up at each break. I did notice that after we did the positional sparring, when we lined up again, my partner deliberately moved over to my left to put herself- not me- at the end of the line.

Spars with my female partner, a guy I don't know, then Dave (the other one). I was able to control the woman easily. I was able to defend getting tapped by the guy, although I spent considerable time under side control. Dave is always nice to me and refrains from tooling me when we spar, but I got several chokes on him that were *almost* taps. I continue to stick my feet under people's armpits begging them to ankle lock me, and I should know better than to do that with DAVE, as he loves attacking feet.

Drilling while pregnant

Use of force is a “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” issue. “This one is too little. This one is too  much. This one is just right.” Campfire Tales From Hell



NO, I am not pregnant. Let's just get that out of the way right now. Whomever was thinking that, go rinse the inside of your skull out with bleach.

Evening BJJ in Bellevue.

Chrisanne and I were whining in the locker room about how our thighs ached after last night (interestingly, we both ached in different AREAS of our thighs), and commented that we hoped we would not be doing anything tonight involving that same half-squat.

Well............

Same knee-push-through standing pass.  I actually didn't mind this too much because it's one of my favorite passes, and I don't think I will ever get tired of it even if it hurts a bit.

Then we did the one from last night where you prop the opponent's thigh on top of your thigh- only this time, we passed on the opposite side. After passing, we sat on opponent's shoulder with one hip while facing hir feet, and bent one leg to hook hir near ankle. As soon as the foe turns hir attention to this distracting question of "what is s/he trying to  do with my ankle, and how can I get it out?" you pop into front mount.

Then: same entry as above, only you fake being sloppy with capturing the near arm. (This was pretty easy for me, as that was the detail I was sloppy with anyway). That arm ends up between your knees. After you catch side control, fake giving opponent a little space. When s/he goes to roll into you and single-leg you, hop your butt over hir body and plant it beside hir opposite hip. Catch that arm as you go over- armbar. The catch in this was, you don't turn the same way you turn 99% of the time you go to do an armbar from a position like this. You turn the opposite way. It's very weird. Of course I didn't catch that odd detail on the first go-round, and I was turning the regular way when I drilled it.... and I had just begun instructing my poor hapless white belt partner in how to do it wrong when Carlos stopped us and fixed me.

For the previous two technique drills, I did not have that hapless white belt partner, because I had Lindsay- girl Lindsay, who has been off the mat since December. It was so nice to see her. She is- not HUGELY pregnant, but BIGLY pregnant- and I had to modify my drills accordingly. I wholeheartedly approve of continuing BJJ (with careful partners, and within reasonable parameters) until a pregnancy is advanced enough that it is mechanically unworkable. Drills, that is.... I wouldn't want to spar (even slowmo flow rolling) with someone who was far enough along to be showing prominently. Lindsey had vanished off the mat as soon as she found out she was expecting. I think she was nervous about it. So I was quite anxious to not only be careful enough to avoid causing a guard-pass-induced miscarriage, but  moreso careful enough to reassure her that it's okay, you can do this, we can work around it and you will be fine. I felt confident about it- I have good control. (However, it made me feel a little jittery when Chrisanne got a text in the locker room before class that her sister had miscarried....)

I had done a warm-up flow roll with Casey before class, and after class I rolled a while with Chrisanne (going kind of hard and competitive) and then another while with Casey. Then Casey wanted to play with an extremely complex technique and use me as a demo dummy, which eventually led to Carlos jumping in (despite having already changed into street clothes) and demo'ing several terribly evil and convoluted techniques on both me and Casey.

Turns out that one of the brand new white belts I had worked with a little last week was a guy who works (as in, career-type "work") with Casey. Apparently he had been all excited and telling his colleagues that he got his first sweep on the mat. Further details revealed a feminine pronoun.
I find myself a bit annoyed. I'm not certain, but I'm guessing that the white belt in question was the one who performed a very nice upa on me, so I let him have it. That's how I usually work with white belts. I don't try to pwn them. If they do a technique well, I will usually give it to them. I'm aware that 1)it's a Big Deal to white belts when they start seeing their techniques work on the mat, 2)It's a Bigger Deal when it's a colored belt you're doing it to, 3)The white belts usually can't tell when we are going light on them and handing them stuff,  and 4)They don't realize that it's douchebaggy to run around telling people who you tapped (or who you swept).  I don't care if he runs around telling other BJJ people that he reversed me, since the other BJJ people for the most part understand corollaries 1 through 4. What bothers me is hearing that he was boasting to his non-BJJ coworkers about it, who now- since they don't understand corollaries 1 through 4- probably genuinely think this guy really scored a sweep on a purple belt girl at his second ever class. It makes women MA-ists look bad. And Gods know the non-MA public already has for the most part a crappy-ass view of a woman's ability to be a competant MA-ist.  Now I kind of wish I *had* pwn'ed him. Sigh. No, not really... I think the way I work with new white belts is encouraging and educational to them, and I don't mind sacrificing some ego. But yeah, this tweaks me.

I think part of the reason this is getting to me a bit was a conversation I had last week with one of *my* colleagues. He's an older guy with some (long) past MA experience, a pleasant fellow, but a bit old-fashioned. He knows I train, and at some point the conversation got around (jokingly) to "what if" it ever came down to me versus him. He laughed. Not just laughed, but hooted. Could barely get out (between peals of laughter), "What do you think YOU could possibly do against ME??!!!?" Now, he is bigger than me and outweighs me significantly, but The Incredible Hulk he ain't. He also must have about 20 years on me (and *I'm* old), and has not trained in decades. I get the impression he did not train nearly as long as I. I'm fairly sure I could take this guy, if it came down to it. I also realize that he's from a bygone generation and has some of the casual and unthinking misogynist brainwashing common to that generation. But man.... he hooted. And I was pissed. This shit again.... and again, and again, and again. And again and again.

Although I spend not-inconsiderable reflection time mulling over various verbally-disemboweling responses to stuff like this, the truth is that usually the offender is someone that I would prefer to not verbally disembowel, for reasons of social civility. In this case, if I offend this guy too much, the water-purification system on my clinical Chemistry analyzer might not get its filters changed on time.
So I usually end up letting it go, or letting it go with such a minor protest as to not be taken seriously. And then I burn inwardly, and feel it chip away another bit of my confidence in my MA.

 In this instance, in response to "What do you think YOU could possibly do against ME???!!??" I pulled out my Spyderco, flicked it open, and gestured to his gut (which, I might add, is carrying some extra fat... seriously, this would not be a fair match-up).  But I wish I had felt like I could call him out on being misogynistic (I'd leave out the "delusional" part). Even more, I wish that so much of the world was not so damn misogynistic.  It feels like a riptide that never, ever, for a single moment stops fighting against me. I wonder what it would feel like to have a penis and be taken seriously- either on the mat or in the street-  just once.

Some old guy already taught me that one.

Ultimately your mind and intellect are what save you, your body is the tool they use. So keep the tool in good working order, but tune up the engine. Campfire Tales From Hell


Friday BJJ in Bellevue.

Bullfight passing of spider guard. After bringing foe's feet together and planting them on the mat, grab hir right wrist with your left hand (the WRIST, not the gi sleeve). Keep the pants cuff on the other side. Step beside hir right hip with your near foot and give a good ceilingward yank at both wrist and pants cuff before moving to KOB.  You may then be able to transition to an armbar- but make sure you FIRST trap the arm firmly between your knees and THEN clear opponent's grip on your sleeve cuff before re-grabbing the wrist and applying the armbar (one foot over hir neck and the other knee folded with your toe under hir ribs). Unsurprisingly, my biggest problem proved to be remembering to grab the leg (ideally both legs, although with my stubby arms I'm not going to count on that) before dropping back into the armbar. Also, as soon as I tried to speed up, I started getting sloppy about clearing the sleeve grip. I asked why it was necessary to clear the sleeve grip at all... it seemed to me that clearing it is just an invitation for the opponent to try to yank hir arm down in an attempt to get out of the armbar. Carlos explained that it may be difficult to maneuver the hand into position at the apex of the armbar if s/he still has your sleeve. (I think you could probably muscle that.... if you've got them well and truly trapped in the armbar, that cuff grip is not going to save them except in cases of extreme muscle disparity... but even in a comp I would prefer to not muscle that.)

Opponent bearhugs you from behind. Lower stance, bring your hands up to your chest to free forearms, and cover hir hands on your chest with your own hands. Step slightly to the right and stick your left foot behind hir feet. Kneel on right knee and plant right shoulder on the mat, making sure to drive downward forcefully enough and hold tight enough that opponent can't free hir hands before getting tossed over your shoulder. Go with the roll and end in a T shape with your shoulder blades on opponent's chest. Keep butt off the mat and apply as much weight as possible as you roll toward hir feet and move to side control, then KOB.

I have done both of these before, and felt comfortable enough to go decently fast *and* work them both sides. Armbar portion turned out to be much tighter on the Stupid Side, although my brain was very slow to grasp the guard pass from the Stupid Side.

A little KOTH, open guard pass vs defend the pass, me down in open guard the entire time. Lots of white belts- so I spent some time explaining what a guard pass is, some time telling a small woman to try to experiment with different positions and movements instead of trying to simply muscle out of spider guard, and some time getting Captain Cavemanned by muscley spazzy male white belts.

A roll with 2 white belts and one with Doug.

First white belt was strong and spazzy, so I was mostly just trying to control him. Let him have an upa, since he performed it correctly.

Hip-threw and then subbed the second white belt several times, explained about turning and shrimping out from under KOB, and explained about keeping the chin to the chest while I was groping for chokes.

I have rolled with Doug enough that I am recognizing a lot of his sneaky little traps and refusing to fall into them.  (freezing in the middle of a guard pass that I know is going to result in a sweep) "Gee, I think I'll slide right into side control LIKE AN IDIOT. Some old guy taught me that one. You're going to need to come up with some new tricks, Doug."  He also let me get that same one on HIM... I was excited that I 1)remembered it, and 2)was able to make it work, as it's kind of complicated and not at all intuitive.

Jiu Jitsu On Ice

The best targets for a swing with a (n impact weapon)- unlike a blade- are bones. You can bruise muscle with a club or staff and even get a “charley horse”, but for the most part an adrenalized threat won’t feel the pain, won’t notice immediately and it won’t swell up until long after the fight is over. Smash his finger bones, however, and he loses the ability to hold his (weapon) immediately. –Rory Miller



Thursday no-gi, Bellevue.

Several drills, most of them new to me. Missing the first part of the week is proving to be problematic lately, as Carlos has been teaching new drills and then building variations off those same drills for the remainder of the week.

Half guard sweep: From standing, one meathook behind neck and one outside bicep grip. Shove the bicep across opponent's body and drop to your butt, putting hir leg in half guard (on the side OPPOSITE the way you shoved hir arm). Underhook hir remaining leg and scissor your own legs as you roll, sweeping hir forward. My main problem here is that I tended to be in too much of a hurry and didn't want to take the time and effort to underhook the leg properly. I also didn't seem to want to let go of that meathook. On Chrisanne, it was possible to retain the meathook all the way through the technique, but I was pulling her down with main strength. On a bigger/stronger opponent who is going to posture up and fight the meathook, I am going to need to be more aggressive about attacking the legs.  Note also that you end up in top half guard. Best to anticipate this and make passing a fluid and uninterrupted part of the total package before the opponent can do anything about it.

You standing, opponent on hir back before you with feet on your hips. Shove the legs over hir right shoulder and place your hand on the small of hir back. Stack mercilessly until s/he wants to roll into turtle. Hug hir shoulders from behind (over/under) and place your head on the mat on the opposite side of hirs- ABOVE it a bit. Roll. The head placement is critical because otherwise, you will finish with a backtake (which is fine, but not our objective ATM). Getting a good grip and THEN doing the roll is critical. You need not fret as much as usual about being pasted tight to hir back first. As long as your hug is technically correct, the recieving end of this is painful and chokey enough that you find yourself needing to go along for the ride whether you like it or not. You end in a T formation, and usually the opponent's far arm is just waiting for you to trap it with your legs. Now you can do a shoulder lock or a choke (or if you are having That Sort Of Day, both!)

Rolls with Chrisanne, JP, and Casey. I asked all of them to get me in side control or/and front mount, and then just be heavy and try to hold me there, because that has been my experience with Chelsea (whom I will be battling tomorrow in both gi and no-gi). Not that Chelsea just holds me there- but she DOES tend to get in one of those positions ASAP, efficiently zip up every molecule of space, and then rest her superior weight, significant musculature and excellent grounding skills on me while she leisurely selects a sub and finishes me off. I need to stay the hell out from under her (which also means I can't pull guard at the beginning.... fighting for the takedown with her is not going to be any picnic, but I should try), and do my damndest to get out from under before she gets me bagged and tagged, if she does get on top. She's so heavy and tight that in the past, once she lands there, I have felt an immediate futile leaking away of all strength and energy, and could just lie there  gasping helplessly while she finishes. I wish I knew how to counteract the feeling of weakness and exhaustion that grips me in this scenario. It takes all the fight out of me.

Anyway, I was able (with specific focus) to stay mostly out from under Chrisanne, but the boys very efficiently put me in side control and pinned me. I continue to want to put an arm up beside my head. I need to frame and stop giving away my arms. Another thing I did a couple of times with JP was to move both arms to one side of my midline, as Georgette has advised against. Also, as Georgette pointed out and JP pointed out AGAIN last night, I want to try to get my BOTTOM leg in first to try to replace guard. I tend to instinctually try to get my top leg in. I feel vulnerable lying on my back, and always feel a driving instinct to get belly-down. This results in backtake, which I am currently making a greater effort to avoid.

I need to keep in mind that tomorrow's comp is sub only, no time limits, and I don't need to get my panties in a knot if I have to lie under side control for a while.... as long as the time is not being used by Chelsea to vacuum up all the extra space (in which case I *do* need to light a fire under it, because "it's not gonna get any better").

Apparently we may have a few additional opponents in no-gi, bu I don't know who. I don't think it's anyone I know. It's just Chelsea in gi.

Amusingly, JP apologized for sweating on me. I told him that he had BETTER be sorry, because I do not like sweat and I do not want to get all sweaty in here. Casey was wallowing in a lake of sweat and it was like Jiu Jitsu On Ice. Chrisanne also gave me a fat lip- but since that doesn't affect function, I don't really give a darn.

It's been raining for three straight days... and I cannot pull blackberries, nor work on my yard terracing, nor work on my fence, which is driving me crazy. Also, being stuck inside, I am fighting the munchies. I registered at 131- and it's probably not going to matter (Chelsea's quite a bit bigger, don't know about any others), but I did get down to 129 and it's frustrating to backslide.

Front mount to S mount

Fighting is almost always ego driven.  –Rory Miller



I'm doing Vic's 30 day plank challenge. Starting today at Day 2 because I just now found out about it. I flatter myself that I have halfway decent ab muscles, but I do not plank, so it's entirely possible that I may be in for a rude awakening.

My trick wrist- the one that Carlos wristlocked when he first came here- was troubling me yesterday and today. Mostly during the open guard butt scoot warmups yesterday. I was mostly fine during the sparring. I'm wary, though, as the wrist tends to give me problems for a few weeks at a time once it starts hurting. Hope it won't affect the plank challenge.

Saturday no-gi at Kirkland.

There were some painful techniques on tap today, and Cindy told me to be grateful that Dave was there to be the demo dummy.... and I truly was, as they are things that Cindy has done to me before and the memory of agony is fresh.  I feel terrible as I watch Dave's face contort. The vein on his temple starts bulging out and turning purple, too.

 I was drilling with Andrew, who is fairly large, but he was very nice to me and careful. Dave, though, didn't hear me say "tap" during the positional sparring, and continued to pull something that torqued the sheet out of my ankle and knee until I yelled "TAP- TAP- TAPTAP!!!!!"  I know he would never do that on purpose, but dang, that hurt.

First we did some pummelling, then triangle drills, then armbar from guard drills (lawd I hate those!)
Front mount to S mount with seatbelt grip. Then front mount to S mount to armbar. Then front mount to S mount to torquing opponent's own arm around hir neck and bellying hir down to the mat.

I struggled with many things today. Several of them were very basic white belt errors that I should not be making. Others of them were failing to correctly follow all the steps even after multiple explanations and demos. Cindy was getting frustrated with me, to my dismay and chagrin.

Positional sparring from front mount. Then a roll with Wayne. I haven't done no-gi in a long time, and found myself frustrated with the lack of grips.

Friday evening

(Defensive display) is almost always a stupid choice and a sign of a pure amateur.  –Rory Miller



Friday evening at Bellevue.

Unfortunately Linday was ill and could not join us tonight.

Also unfortunately, someone brought in a bucket of Halloween candy.

You have opponent in your guard, grips on hir sleeve cuffs, feet on hir hips, knees in. S/he puts one knee up on the inside.

You take the leg on the OPPOSITE side as the one s/he put up, and swing it over the arms and hook the toe under hir thigh.

Use your grounded foot to scootch body out sideways, yank hir arm across your body. Now you can dump hir and get on top.

If s/he tries to stand up and post with the other foot- go to armbar. Note that this is why you needed to take care to pull that arm across your body in the previous step. If you got sloppy with that, you will not have this option. Note also that finishing this armbar involves bracing the bent knee firmly against opponent's torso.

If s/he pulls the elbow down far enough to kill the armbar, underhook hir leg and straighten your legs to Dump hir. Get on top.

Sparring with Chrisanne, starting from the position described at the beginning of technique 1.

More sparring- a white belt and a blue belt that I don't know, then Christy and Casey. I was able to handle the two lower belts fine. Being aware that life underneath Christy is unpleasant, I stayed on top. I was able to hang out on top and threaten various chokes for the entire roll. Got two of them (including a head-and-arm, which I was delighted with, as I enjoy these and am not yet as proficient with them as I would like).

Casey of course is more of a challenge- although when we began, he claimed to be too exhausted to tie his belt, which boded well for me.

Move your heaps!

All valuable training happens outside the comfort zone. Physically, mentally, emotionally you have to push the envelope. It's gotta hurt.  -Rory Miller


Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue.

Warmup roll with white belt Shawn. He tapped me many times. I could feel the "I suck" tape starting up in my head, and I switched it off. Shawn is really good. He was also using some strength when his technique started to fail him (which it didn't often.... as I said, he's good).

Dreels. Armbars from guard. ("Move your heaps!") Triangles from guard. Omoplatas. Armbar to omoplata to triangle.

Spars.

Shawn- more getting tooled. It's a good thing.

Paul.

Kitsune: "Don't kill me. I'm old."
Paul: "Don't kill *ME*. I'm old."
Kitsune: "Geez, you look young enough to be my son."

He played purely defensive, and I spent the entire time trying to get a choke or armbar. Finally- near the end- I managed to isolate an arm and clasp it against my midline. Then we spent a while rolling and thrashing around while I tried to get an elbow lock. When I felt the elbow slipping out, I tried a wrist lock, which failed also. Gotta admire his defense.

Black belt Sean. I was exhausted and I didn't feel like I mounted a decent fight at all, but he commented "Very technical."

Somebody bled on my French vanilla gi,  gol-dernit.

Professor Herbert is going back to Brazil. I am very bummed.

Georgette is in Edmonds. I am going to try to go over to Edmonds and train with her next Friday.

Thursday x2

Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, cause it's going to be empty. -Clint Smith


Lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

Copious drills. Single-legs (Carlos reprimanded me for repeatedly flinging Chrisanne against the wall. I informed him that the wall is a weapon. He was not amused.). Kimuras from closed guard. Cross collar chokes from closed guard.

About a million rounds of closed guard pass vs sweep. Sweeps continue to be the weakest part of my game. Didn't get a single one. Got some passes.

One roll with Chrisanne.

Evening BJJ in Kirkland. I am trying to make an appearance in Kirkland once in a while, even if I can't make it on Cindy's days. On Thurs evenings it's "basics" in there, which is often a little easier for me to deal with that the "advanced" in Bellevue, when you're talking two classes in one day. It also starts half an hour earlier, which lets me get home a little sooner.

Tonight I definitely coasted a bit. Dave is getting over some respiratory funk, so did not challenge me as he usually does (no coasting when you're rolling with Dave). I was working with a brand new girl white belt who couldn't even make it through the entire drill session.

Pummelling. Cross collar choke from closed guard (cranking the person to the side a bit  to facilitate the choke... like this detail. Was not able to do it on stupid side, dammit.). Basic guard pull from standing. Guard pull to armbar from guard. Guard pull to failed armbar from guard, to triangle.

One roll with a tall white belt guy. Armbarred him and RNC'ed him.

Broken arm < strangulation.

Observe
 Orient
 Decide
 Act



Friday lunchtime BJJ in Seattle. Nice to see Bryan, Z, Lindsey, Pat and others that I don't get to see very often because I don't go to the Seattle pod very often. Unfortunately Chrisanne was ill and had to bail. But Christy was there, so I got to drill with her, Z, *and* Prof. Herbert. That is an excellent roster, but damn am I tired now.

Three different drills, over and over with rotating partners.

Single- or double-leg takedowns. Even at not-100%, this is exhausting (especially doing it with the Professor!!!). I could not take Z down for love or money, which is frustrating since I'm pretty sure I outweigh him... but I got Christy down a few times and the Prof let me have one (which means I must have done it well enough that he decided to reward me by electing to take a dive). I don't know what his judo background is, but I can tell from watching the way he does certain takedowns that he has one.

You are front mounted. Opponent turns to the side. You move to S mount, shoving hir NEAR lapel down with the hand nearest hir feet. Feed lapel to the other hand, which you have wrapped under hir head. Keep the elbow in tight and the lapel grip deep. Grab the pants. Turn the shin out on your rear leg, sit, Place your rear leg to trap hir arm if you can. I was not really happy to see bow and arrow again today- it's my LEAST favorite sub to be on the receiving end of, but at least it was Christy this time. When I did this with Chrisanne last Sat, she was doing them so tight and fine that the skin is *STILL* peeling off my chin.

Same, only now your opponent pushes your arm over hir head, so you go for the armbar. Christy noted that this was not very helpful (on the receiving end). I informed her that 1)it's always better to be armbarred (or even have your arm broken) than to be strangled unconscious, and 2)you have a slight chance of trying to escape the armbar during the transition- although with this particular one, there was precious little room to try to escape.

Some positional sparring from these same 2 positions.

Bryan called me out, although I was way too tired to spar, and he ragged me until I agreed. But I couldn't bear to put my jacket back on, so I made him go no-gi. Pat called me out next, but by then I was so tired that just turning my head to see who was throwing things at me was too much work, so I had to beg off.

I chugged two full pints of water on my way out.

That's because they have been working with CINDY.

Addiction is huge in crimes…. Because it is one of the few things that we experience in the modern era that imitates survival violence. Whatever you might do for food or water on the edge of death is what an addict will do to feed his addiction.   –Rory Miller


136

Friday lunchtime BJJ in Seattle.

You are sprawled N/S on turtled opponent. Cross right arm over your chest and stick it straight down to the mat beside hir neck as you spin to that side of hir body. Grab hir wrist. Hop to place your right knee against hir, take the back, KEEP THAT WRIST GRIP. This appears to be a straightforward attempt to take the back, but if you keep that wrist grip and throw your leg over opponent's head as you fall back, it turns into an armbar.

I got this really nice and smooth after several tries.... and then OF COURSE professor walks over to look JUST as I try to do it on the stupid side and mess it all up. Why does he always time it thusly???!!!

Same thing, only opponent clasps hands to try to defend the armbar. You transition back to the backtake.

One spar with Crisanne. She is doing great- assertive, heavy pressure on top, everything really tight. She tapped me twice. I wasn't going 100%, but I was going hard enough that I was quite impressed with her work. Lindsey rolled with her next, and when I saw him at his studio afterward, he raved (unprompted by me) about how much her jiu jitsu has progressed. He specifically praised her assertiveness (again, unprompted by me). I could just pop with pride. I PM'ed her and told her about it, and told her how proud I am of her.

Dieting angst: I might have had the time and energy for at least one more spar had I not been hungry enough to start chewing the mat. I am not sure how to deal with this issue. I could carry energy bars, but I really don't want to eat those caloric things while I'm trying to lose weight. I do carry Slim-Fast's for emergencies, but if I drink one of those and then try to roll, I am pretty sure I'd puke.

After class (and lunch), I went to Lindsey's studio and we put together my backpiece, part of which is the Ox Head pic that I used on yesterday's blogpost. I took my own weapons to the studio- we are going to arm him with my own bo staff, K-bar Khukri and Spyderco folding knife. The Victorian goth angel on the other half of the piece is going to have my actual tai chi sword. Lindsey is excited about the art, which is great- it's always a good thing when your tattoo artist actually likes the piece and you know s/he's going to enjoy working on it.

Evening BJJ in Bellevue. Doug got a big grin on his face as soon as he walked in and saw me, and challenged me to a death match. I'm feeling so much love from my teammates this week. Honestly, I have just worked with so many awesome drill partners and sparring partners- people who push me, and with whom I have fun, and from whom I learn. I am gonna have to write a gooshy FB post to all three GB pods.

Almost all King Of the Hill from various positions with Prof's Doug and Sean down.   Haven't done this for a while, and after three classes in two days, this was probably the best possible thing as opposed to trying to cram yet another set of techniques. There were only about 6 of us (besides the Prof's), so we did not get much downtime.

Did I mention how fortunate I am feeling at class this week??? Six students and three black belts on the mat. Who gets these ratios???? How incredible is this?

Doug and Sean were raving after class about what good wrestlers the two unfamilar (to them) white belts were. I said (since they were familiar to ME!) "Yes, that's because they are from the Kirkland pod and they have been working with CINDY!!!!!)

Two long spars with Christy. She is also working very hard and doing extremely well. She- like Chrisanne- is very very good about listening to everything I say and incorporating it into her game. I tried to KOB and mount her several times, and she got the hell outta there before I could count 3. I'm so proud of my ladies.

Then one with Doug. Always a treat. I was doing a lot of skating around from side to side on top, very flowy.  Something I always can use practice on.

Ten seconds!! Ten seconds!!

If he or she has the right mindset, the killer will beat the fighter almost every time.   –Rory Miller



137

Yes, even though it seems as if competition is not helping my jiu jitsu right now, it is true that those rigid dates with the tournament scale are good for diet discipline. As soon as I decided to take a break from competing, I promptly gained 5lb. So I decided on a new tactic: my tattoo artist (who, incidentally, just won second place for "best sleeve" at the Seattle Tattoo Expo) has been posting all sorts of rad pics of his work and making me salivate more and more for additional ink. I had told myself that I was going to get my back started the next time I had a benching-level injury, but now I'm thinking that I'm going to use the tat as a carrot (double meaning definitely intended) to get back down to weight. I'm feeling reasonably strong about it at the moment- for the last two days I have not only cut my soda intake by more than half (this is actually the hardest part for me!), I have stocked up on the eggs and carrots, as well as decreasing my portions of everything else and just generally trying to wait a little longer before bowing to hunger and eating something. Even yesterday when I went to the Chinese restaurant with CK (AGAIN!!!!), I ate all the carrots and broccoli on my plate (although I am not fond of cooked veggies) and took half the chicken teriyaki home (it made TWO subsequent diet-sized meals). Yes, rice happened, and I know rice is very bad for me, but I'm still satisfied about the way I handled that. I'm going to take a humongo bag of carrots to work during my next rotation. Work is a dangerous time for the munchies (and the pop).

Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue. There were only 4 of us there, besides the prof. The five of us were in full agreement that BJJ is MUCH MUCH more important than a Seahawks game. I don't know what is wrong with those people.

At first it looked like I was going to get paired up with Lance, which is pretty funny... because even at my fattest, he makes about eight of me. I ended up with (white belt) Shawn.

You have closed guard. Yank opponent's opposite-side sleeve cuff while pulling hir down with your legs. Hug around hir shoulder with your free arm. Now that you have hir arm pinned between your bodies, you can let go of the sleeve and use that arm to reach under hir thigh. Note that your arm should go OVER TOP of hirs. Twist your body into an X formation opposite your opponent's. (Prof Herbert was using a foot on the hip to help it along; that didn't seem to be working very well for me). Swing your far leg to help sweep your opponent. It is good to keep your near knee pasted to the back of hir shoulder blade as you swing up on top; as well as keeping that front heel pasted to hir chest- this keeps hir pinned on hir side and you find yourself in S mount (I love S mount). At this juncture you may appreciate why you wanted your arm to go over top of hirs- as you now have that arm pinned along your body and under your armpit.  I elected to then step over Shawn's face and finish the armbar. Herbert was delighted to see me go there, to the point of having me demo the sequence on HIM for the next drilling section (whee!!).

Next: same entry, only now you focus on the fact that as you place your arm over top of opponent's while reaching for the thigh, you are actually in a rather pleasant position should you choose to bring your other leg over hir face and do an armbar right there. I am always thrilled to drill armbars from guard (or permutations thereof), as I keep thinking these are going to be ideal for my game, yet I continue to fail to integrate them into my live sparring. I have a feeling that if I can ever get that switch flipped and start remembering them under pressure, I'm going to be cracking elbows merrily left and right all day long.

As usual, my technical issue to work on (as pointed out by Herbert) is that I should really try to get my second leg higher up into the opponent's armpit. With effort, I was able to improve this on one side, but not the other (it seems that my hip is more flexible on one side).

Finishing with a 10-min spar with Shawn. He's a  good partner; not too big, pretty careful, muscles a bit (hey, he's a white belt) but not too much. I was inspired by the fact that the prof was circling around us watching the whole thing, and I was on top quite a bit, although I started to get really tired in the last few minutes and ended up getting tapped. As Shawn let me up, Herbert said, "Ten seconds left," and I threw myself at Shawn, shrieking, "Ten seconds!! Ten seconds!!" as I jumped guard and started frantically hauling on his lapels trying to get a choke. Didn't get one. But it was a fun spar.

Welcome to jiu jitsu.

The duelist is interested in winning, in maintaining honor. The professional (criminal) is interested in killing, as quickly and efficiently as possible.  –Rory Miller



Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue.

White belt #1: "How's your knee doing?"

White belt #2: "It's a little better now, but yesterday I wrenched the &#^$ out of my elbow......"

Kitsune: "Welcome to Jiu Jitsu, where you repeatedly acquire a new injury before your previous injury has healed. You will never be healthy again."

To their credit, they seemed psyched by this instead of troubled. Those are the types that might stick it out.

Standup, judo grips. Take your foot on the side that you're gripping the LAPEL (and note that in this technique you want a deep, back-of-the-neck grip), and cross it so that you whack opponent's opposite shin with your instep. Stomp the foot to the floor between hir feet, turn, and jerk partner off balance with the gi grips. You are shoving hir down with the lapel grip and pulling hir toward you with a twist using the sleeve grip. (I love these takedowns that involve twisting the person so that the back of their shoulder is forced toward the floor.) Now kick your heel up (the same active foot that you were using before) and displace the leg. If your jerk was effective, the opponent's weight should be on that leg and s/he should go down as if poleaxed.

If this does not work, follow up by shoving opponent away from you while you use the same active foot to shoot out and inward-hook opponent's OTHER leg.

Ideally you want to have control of that knee as s/he lands on hir back. I had to ask Prof Herbert which grip to release in order to do that. You release the lapel grip and grab for the inside of the knee pantleg grip. I guess it was a good question, as he then chose to build upon the technique thusly:

Now that you have the person on the ground on hir back with one knee between your knees, and you have an elbow grip (on the outside) and a pantleg grip (inside of knee)..... donkey-kick that inside leg out and go to KOB.

Next: opponent turns in to you and pushes on your knee. Now armbar.

Chrisanne and I discovered that doing the takedown on one's stupid side- while not very much more difficult- resulted in the opponent having a MUCH harder time both staying balanced as well as being able to do anything helpful while falling. This would only be true of right-handed people, presumably. But the difference was marked enough that it would be reasonable to make a concerted effort to drill this on the dumb side.

One roll with Chrisanne and one with that flexible blue belt guy (I really need to remember his name....) I got a choke on him that he was very admiring of. Many people have been praising me a lot lately. It doesn't seem to be having any effect at all on my poor self-appraisal.

Move your head.

Stopping violence or potential violence is a separate issue from  “justice”- motive and mental competency are keys to determining the level of criminal culpability, but are irrelevant to whether someone must be stopped before they hurt somebody. –Rory Miller


Thurs "advanced" class in Bellevue. This turned out to be a combined class- Prof Carlos is at Worlds, I think.... Prof Jamie taught us.

Cross collar choke from guard, Kimura from guard, situp sweep from guard, hip throws, pulling guard from standing, pulling guard from standing and then transitioning to armbar. I was working in a trio with Nadine and Chrisanne, and was able to give them some good hints and feedback (such as, MOVE YOUR HEAD TO THE SIDE before you swipe someone's posting arms off your belly and yank them down on your chest in closed guard). As amusing as it can be to watch white belts bash their foreheads together, I just don't have the heart.

Positional sparring from closed guard and spider guard.

One spar with Casey and a couple with Chrisanne. Chrisanne was working tighter tonight. I did have to remind her to assertively jump on me right off the fist bump instead of sitting back on her haunches and waiting meekly to get shoved to the mat. But she was feeling really heavy on top tonight, and doing a good job controlling all my parts so that I couldn't effectively get out of her scarf or side control.

I will unfortunately be missing Friday evening class- my cat is having surgery tomorrow, and I will have to stay home in the evening and keep an eye on him. I'm all out of good library books, and most of my PSG packing is finished- so maybe I will actually get a little writing done? Made another batch of cat food last night with the tape player going- the stirring of the creative juices put an intriguing new scene into my mind. Need to stay out of the kitchen, at any rate- especially with the missed class. I'm going to have to be really careful if I want to make weight for next weekend. I'm right on the edge. My fridge is full of eggs, but all I want is pizza!

"Do you do yoga?"

If you get injured- shot or otherwise- while running, keep running. Most people survive wounds. Most wounds are psychologically, not physically, incapacitating. You may be killed. You may bleed out. DO NOT give up. Not even if you are shot. –Rory Miller



Friday evening BJJ, Bellevue.

Side control  to scarf, throw your leg over opponent's head  and grab your own lapel, trapping opponent's arm. Place your other hand on the mat, then knee, then turn and armbar (the foot closest to opponent's feet is under hir back). Little Prof Herbert stays amazingly tight throughout- he's so close to the guy that he's practically scootching underneath him.

Same, but opponent defends armbar by joining hands. Pull your feet out one at a time and cross them over top of hir arm. Bicep slicer(!)

Then switch to a grab-your-own-wrist grip and roll towards opponent's head to break the grip. That one I learned from Carlos some time ago and have actually effectively used, along with a foot on the bicep to pry at the arm.

Next: I know there's a name for the keylock when the opponent's palm is on the mat by hir hip, but I don't know the name (no one ever names techniques here). Anyhow, you're in side control going for that, and the opponent grabs hir own belt or gi tail to defend. The arm closest to hir feet, place that elbow on the mat and your palm on your ear. thread your other hand through and grab the bicep of THAT arm (this took some wiggling, for me). Now move to NS and kick your trainling leg under in a sit-out. KEEP elbow on the mat (this is counterintuitive, but the prof corrected me on this specifically and it changed EVERYTHING). Once in position, you barely have to lift in order to finish a shoulder lock.

Positional sparring from side control. Then one roll with Kevin and one with a good blue belt guy I've worked with a couple times. As we slapped hands to start- him drenched in sweat and puffing like a locomotive- he commented wonderingly that I wasn't even out of breath. Kevin and I had just had a long, lively, competitive, technical roll. I asked blue belt guy if he did yoga. He was that flexible, esp for a guy. He said no, but that he'd done lots of MA and always worked on his flexibility.

I seem to be moving more and setting up- or at least threatening- more subs lately. It seems like a slow, meandering improvement. I'll take it.

I put on some music last night while making the cat food. Found out that my CD player has bought the farm. Tape player still works, although will not rewind. Sigh. Last week I organized most of my art supply boxes, and I have my tables set up now... so I can start working on projects any time. I also churned out three pages on my book today- which I haven't worked on in a long time. Frustratingly, as I make a few tentative moves to break out of creative deep-freeze, my mind immediately starts hamster-wheeling on past trauma events (Autumn '11). I really hope those thought processes are not mentally associated with the book (although I started serious concrete work on that right after the trauma, to try to divert myself- I'm going to be really vexed if that's the case). The alternative theory, of course, is that *ANY* venture out of robotic day to day "enduring life" and into a creative "LIVING life" mode causes my subconscious to lunge up reflexively like Pavlov's Demon Dog to sabotage me with toxic thought processes. I am my own worst enemy. It kinda makes me want to put the art away and just go back into zombie zone. Seriously, it's like I can't allow myself to feel pleasure and enjoyment (in art) without serving up a load of emotional garbage to make sure it's tainted. Either feel nothing at all, or open the door that lets acute pain back into the space.  I mean, just look at this paragraph. This happened because I sang along with 2 cassette tapes and wrote three pages of fiction. This is how I get. I don't know if it's worth it.

Problem is, my MA, my artistry, and my spirituality are all fused together. I can make some progress on MA while in endurance mode... you just have to keep going through the motions... but it is slow and crippled.

I am going to get all my hair cut off tomorrow. Looking forward to being able to get on the mat without that sweaty swim cap wrapped around my noggin for a while. I'm thinking about getting a Marine cut next month right before PSG. If I got a Marine cut and dropped ten pounds, I don't think my Evil Twin and I would be able to tell OURSELVES apart.

Neckless

…Violence… is the most international and oldest language there is. It is common to all societies. It is attached to the very fabric of life. Depending on their fighting ability, every animal on earth ends up taking on the role of predator or prey. Not only nearly all animals fight, but even the cells inside our bodies fight against germs and bacteria. No one who lives in a physical body can completely ignore the language of violence. Whether by choice or not, anyone may have to deal with it. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path


Four black belts in the mat for Friday evening in Bellevue. Prof. Herbert is back. Not only that, he remembered my name. Happy to have him and his bag of little-guy tricks in the house again.  Also fun- as always- to watch the Brazilians learning English. Today he learned "calf".

Armbar from guard. Herbert used a cross tricep grip and a deep lapel grip. He observed that I fail to get my leg into the armpit firmly enough and also fail to bear down on the opponent with my shins (which second persistant problem of mine Cindy has oft commented on as well).

Failed armbar from guard, reach across opponent's throat to grab your own ankle. This can end up as a choke, a crank, or a crushing of the bones around the eye socket, depending on how well you can get into position (or not). My drill partner had no neck (when I pointed this out to him, he cheerfully agreed that other classmates had complained of the same), so this fact combined with the extreme shortitude of my legs made this one a real problem. It was barely possible- on the stupid side only- by using my pants cuff (Doug informed me that I am allowed to put my fingers in my own pants cuff, which I was not aware was legal).

Same entry, but opponent defends by pulling the arm out. You paste hir OTHER arm to your chest, hip out and turn on your side, making sure to hook your toe behind hir neck. Bring the other foot over hir head and gogoplata. I loved this, although I'm probably not going to be able to retain it until it comes around another few times. I am inexperienced with the gogoplata. Prof. Herbert has shown another couple of gogoplata moves in the past. I think they will be great for me, they seem made for my shape and flexibility.

Positional sparring from closed guard. Then a roll with Doug and one with a blue belt guy whom I have worked with once before, but his name escapes me at the moment.

Right elbow continues to be painful and weak. It has been over two months. Left shoulder is even worse (just over a month on that one). I have been very careful on the mat and have asked all partners to be careful as well. Left shoulder is actually causing me a considerable amount of pain while trying to sleep. I wish these damn things would heal up already.