Maybe I should have been offended instead of relieved?

My crystal ball has never been very good. I've noticed that bad things generally happen to me when I'm not expecting it rather than when I am expecting it. For example, I've never been in a _planned_ car accident. I've never had a flat tire I was expecting to get. And the day my middle son was struck by lightning, we sure weren't expecting that to happen!
 That's why my default setting is to carry the gun, even at times and in places where I "feel safe."
-Kathy Jackson, Cornered Cat



Thursday no-gi and Friday evening gi in Bellevue.

More double-leg setups from standing.

Double-leg attempt to be met with sprawl.

Opponent bearhugs you from behind. You drop down to clear the forearms, lift them in front of your chest, turn body to the side, and step one foot behind opponent's foot. Takedown. If they defend, we lifted them off the ground and sort of contact-improv'ed them across our lower backs to drop them on the other side. I've never done anything like that in BJJ. It was unexpected to be picked up like that. It's something I don't usually think to do to an opponent (in BJJ). Judging by everyone else's response to the concept, it might be worth experimenting with live. Particularly as I have lately had the recurring thought that I ought to be working harder to formulate my nonexistant bottom game and should stop always leaping for the top.

Opponent is turtled. You do a "sash grip" over one shoulder and under the other. Switch legs and stick your far knee under hir belly, pull hir into back mount. At this point it was essential to be sure you had a grip with your fingertips digging into the palm of your opposite cupped hand. I do not like this grip and had to readjust it every rep. It was also essential that the arm OVER opponent's shoulder had the palm toward the ceiling (another thing I had to pause and check, and usually adjust). After getting your back mount points, move into S mount. Scoot the front leg way up on hir chest and sit down, bringing other leg around and over hir floorward shoulder. Now, if you dig your forearm bone into the side of hir neck (this is why the palm of this arm had to be facing up) and pinch your knees together, it was a nasty choke. Usable in no-gi. If you do it wrong it becomes a crank, so be careful. I like S mount, and I found that my usual positioning needed a very conscious adjust to move that front leg from belly to chest. If it wasn't far up enough on the chest, the move did not work. If everything was positioned correctly, we didn't even have to lean back or knee-squeeze, it already hurt bad enough to tap.

Spider guard sweeps- pull opponent's arm across your chest before sweeping. Neglecting to control the arm and neglecting to be aggressive enough about breaking down the opponent's posture are two persistant problems with my sweep game. I got WAAAAAAAAAAAY under my partner and manhandled her balance around.

Same entry, only instead of sweeping, place foot on opponent's shoulder blade and use a turned-in knee to elbow-lock. This was beautifully nasty- I love it. It is very Cindy-esque. Ha ha. I can't wait to try this on someone live. Preferrably Chrisanne, who missed this class. (Insert evil chuckle)

King of the hill- back mount vs escaping back mount. I am fairly good at escaping back mount, but I am hopeless as a backpack- and since that's where I was for this entire cycle, things did not go very well for me.

Carlos cautioned me TWICE this week for what he saw as me doing a technique too fast/rough- in both cases, I had my usual perfect exquisite control and there was absolutely no danger. This frustrates and offends me. I accidentally made Kelly yelp *ONCE* about three years ago (on a technique that I had done to numerous kung fu classmates about 3x as hard and they didn't react), and I think that one unfortunate occurance has really stuck in Carlos's mind and he has me irrevocably pegged as someone dangerously careless. I'm about the most careful and controlled MA'ist on the WHOLE PLANET, so it winds me up when he does this. (Maybe THAT is why he didn't put me with his girlfriend! He put her with a WHITE BELT! Hmmm, maybe I should be offended!)

Thursday: break-in, Friday: pit bull attack. How was your week?

Many people receive the answer to their prayers, but ignore them- or deny them, because the answers didn’t come in the expected form.  –Sophy Burnham



Thursday lunchtime gi in Bellevue. We got Rodrigo today! Carlos and Doug both had surgery at the beginning of the week, so they will be on the bench a while.

Opponent in turtle, you sprawled on hir left hip. Grab hir left sleeve cuff and right lapel. Move to the side and pull hir onto her side, switching to a "sash" grip. Stay heavy and keep public bone to the mat. As s/he places hir top foot on the mat to try to recover turtle, you stick your bottom leg into the space that s/he has just made between the mat and hir hip, and wrap hir bottom leg. Pull hir back into you, and place the second hook. Do not forget to trap the arm. (Note: do not- as I wanted to do- try to jump/climb on top of hir to get the back mount. PULL hir into you.)

Same entry, only now as you pull the foe onto hir side, you use your lapel grip to open the lapel and slide your other hand in. I always want to snug everything REALLY REALLY TIGHT, and Rodrigo instructed me to loosen up and slide down a bit on this lapel grip- because you want the person to try to recover turtle instead of realizing that they're about to get choked. As they go into turtle, you clock choke. Do not straighten your arm and pull at this. Keep the elbow bent and lean your chest over the opponent's head. Rodrigo puts his forehead on the mat.

My stupid side, which I only tried a few times at the very end and only because we had done about a bajillion reps, was much tighter because that side had me doing the clock choke with my dominant arm.

A little positional training from the point where you pull the opponent onto hir side and try to keep hir down, while opponent gives some (but not crazy) resistance.
---------------------------------------------
So some crazy and/or drugged homeless guy broke into my garage this morning. It scared the poop out of me, but I was very happy that I had a gun, so that I knew I could defend myself if he tried to get into the house. I was even happier to see the sheriff pull in. I could have set off the audible alarm and probably scared him off, but I wanted the cops to get him, so that I wouldn't have to worry about him coming back (for a little while, at least). He broke a window in my rear garage door, but luckily did not damage my car. The nice deputies caught him red-handed in there, carted him off in cuffs, and booked him for Burglary in the second degree.

I think the only thing I could have done better was to be more proactive about checking out odd noises. I heard some thumping, but assumed it was the cat messing around upstairs. It was only when the thumping continued that I went up to check, and found her asleep. I figured then that I had a bear in my garbage can. But when I looked out the window, I saw an unfamilar dude lurching up my driveway while holding an animated conversation with himself. Next time I will check out weird noises more promptly. If he had gone to the front door instead of the garage after rifling the garbage, things could have turned out much worse than they did.
-------------------------------------------------
So, the day after some crazy homeless guy broke into my garage, my dogs and I got attacked by a loose pit bull. It tore up Teal pretty badly. I was well weaponed up, yet could not adequately defend.

Because I am so paranoid, my head is always on a swivel and thus I glanced behind me and saw the pit come out of the driveway. As soon as I laid eyes on that dog, I knew we were going to get attacked. I yelled "NO!" powerfully, as that has been recommended by some dog-savvy friends. I was then able to get off a couple yells for help and get my pepper spray out of my pocket before it was on us.

The dog attacked Teal, and I emptied half the can of pepper spray right into its eyes to no effect at all. I could not shoot it because we were in the middle of a populated subdivision. My knives would have been a poor weapon- this dog was not responding to pain compliance techniques, and I would have had to get under its throat and get a few really good deep slashes to put it out of commission. At that point, my bag of tricks was empty.

All I could do was yell for help. I tried to pull the pit off my dog, but it just kept hold and I was dragging both dogs. I really needed a second person- one to grab each dog and pull them apart. But although ten or twelve people came out to see what all the screaming was about, no one helped.   :(    Now I know what Kitty Genovese felt like.

Eventually the dog owner's dad came out, and stood there to stare for a moment before wading in. He grabbed the pit's harness and gave it a couple of ineffectual tugs, then he started whipping the dog over the back with a little nylon strap. Of course that didn't do jack. Finally I gathered my wits enough to yell at him, "grab the harness and pull him off! Grab the harness and pull him off!" Which he finally did.  As I fled for our lives, the guy was lying in the middle of the street bear-hugging the dog.

So, several lessons learned.

1)Don't expect help. Even if there are lot of people around. They will just stare, or maybe take out their iphones to video your attack. You are on your own.

2)Please don't be that person. If someone is yelling for help, fucking HELP.

3)I thought I was well weaponed-up, but two of my weapons were inappropriate for the situation and the third one failed me. I have thought a lot about what would have helped in that situation, and I decided that a hammer would have gotten the job done. I went to Lowe's and bought a really nice heavy mallet with a comfy grip and good balance. I am now carrying that whenever I walk the dogs. The next loose dog that puts its teeth in my dog is going to get its fucking skull bashed in.

4)It was astonishing to what extent my brain switched off in the presence of that much adrenaline. I had to leave the scene, because Teal needed to go to the ER, and that guy still did not have his dog under control, so we fled. Later I had a hard time finding the attack site, I wouldn't have been able to pick that guy out of a lineup, and I was even unsure what color the dog was- which is funny seeing as how I was wrestling with it for three minutes. Your brain really shuts down all the extraneous details. Next time, remind self to stop and take note of details, especially if you have to flee the scene.

5)Even if you have decided that your pepper spray is useless, don't put the can back into your pocket. Just the small amount of dried liquid left on the outside of the can ate right through my pants and gave me a miserable chemical burn. My entire thigh looks like it's been roasted over a slow fire. (Again- how did that monster dog just ignore this? I knew it wasn't going to respond to pain compliance techniques, but I was hoping that the pepper spray directly into the eyes would blind it and make it difficult to breathe. Nope.)

6)January is tactically useless. All he did was run circles around us in scared confusion. I always hoped my dog(s) would try to do something if I was screaming for help, but it did not trigger him. Note: do not expect his help in the instance of a break-in.


--------------------
I went to BJJ class on Friday night, but I had too much going on to blog it, and now I can't remember what we did. I also missed ALL classes the following week.
--------------------

Thursday lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.  I got to drill with Nelson, which is always wonderful.

Triangles from guard.

From guard: fake a scissor sweep, then hook your toe under the thigh instead. Sweep hir AWAY from you. Note that you have to be really close to make this work- if you shrimped out too much getting set up for the scissor, it's really hard to lift the guy using just leg strength.

Same basic thing from standup.

My favorite choke: the one where you get a deep cross grip and then grab a handful of gi at the back of the shoulder to finish.  We turned our bodies to use the thigh to force the opponent's head down as if we were going to armbar, then swung back to finish the choke straight on. Weirdly, it's a chicken-wing pulling motion- yes, the very thing we are always told NOT to do. But it was beautiful. I found, while being the uke, that when the opponent swings that leg up, it makes you think he's going for a triangle or armbar, so you want to yank back- which will just make you choke yourself even harder.

Three spars with three white belt ladies. They are all game and trying hard. Gave them all some (I hope useful) pointers.

Day one of one-a-day

 What you do instead of your work is your REAL work. –Roger Ebert



Thursday lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

Standup: opponent has both hands laced behind your neck. You lace your hands over hir elbow, chicken-wing your arm out and step to that side. This twists hir spine uncomfortably and makes it easier for you to move your hands inside and grab behind hir neck instead.

Next, we went from the chicken--wing-and-sidestep to a double-leg. Note that you must plaster yourself right against the opponent and slide down hir body, otherwise you will not be close enough. Hug just above the knees.

Opponent is turtled in front of you. Sprawl, crossface, sash grip around chest, switch far knee in, pull opponent into your back mount. Three notes: 1)don't forget to grab the wrist at the end. 2)You must make sure your shin is pressing against opponent before you start to pull hir over, and kick that baby under *as* you are pulling. If you wait till after you have hir capsized, it's too late to shove that foot under.  3)Try to dive in a diagonal direction over the shoulder instead of pulling opponent sideways. I continue to find myself subconsciously resistant to this, as I keep feeling like I am just going to slither my tiny self over hir shoulder and plop onto the mat while s/he continues to turtle there like a rock. This doesn't make logical sense, because if THAT is how it is, I am not going to be able to haul this person sideways either. I have nothing to lose and a slightly better chance of succeeding if I go on the diagonal. I found it slightly more palatable if I made a point of shoving the shoulder aggressively to the mat as I went.

King Of The Hill, sweep versus pass (any guard, choice of the "king"). I didn't do all that great, but I was overmatched by everyone (they all outranked me except for one big muscley white belt).


I'm doing it. I am going- not quite cold turkey, but- one pop per day (first thing in the morning). This is day one. I am jonesing badly, but it helps that I have no Dr Pepper left in the house (just A&W root beer, which is great, but not quite as bad of a trigger). I also took the A&W out of the fridge- it is not so tempting when it is warm, and I have no ice.

I want to do this experiment to try to figure out if it will help my crappy sleep any. Also, I am wondering if the sugar-induced glucose roller coaster is contributing to the fact that I feel exhausted all the time. This latter question involves ALSO cutting down on solid junk food. That's going to be extra-challenging. Usually when I'm trying to reduce my pop, I console myself with extra junk food, and vice versa. I don't like being at this weight. I don't like being exhausted all the time. I don't like not being able to get to sleep, and I don't like waking up every couple of hours when I *do* manage to get to sleep. I don't like getting up feeling even more exhausted than when I went to bed. I don't like the idea of going to the doc and getting on some drug to try to get some sleep.

Change direction. And again.

Unless it’s a sport fight that has a certain number of rounds to determine the winner, a real fight usually lasts only seconds. Campfire Tales From Hell


No-gi at Bellevue.

Single-leg takedowns. Put head on the inside (ie, against opponent's flank).

Same, but now you clamp opponent's ankle beween your legs and shove hir backward for 2 hops before changing direction and dragging the leg to the side so that s/he falls on hir ass. Note that when you grab the leg and put your head on the inside, you should deliberately press that shoulder to hir thigh. When you do the final drag, you should switch your head to the outside and press the OTHER shoulder to hir thigh.

Same, only now you assume s/he is fighting that final drag, so you abruptly  switch direction AGAIN and shove hir straight backward, snatching at the free leg so that it's now actually a double-leg. It doesn't take much, though- you're just sort of pawing quickly at it, not grabbing it. Make sure that you get to the side as s/he falls so that you don't end up in guard.

Sprawl N/S on opponent's turtle, then spin around, get both hooks in and turn yourself into a backpack. Note that you should not sit upright as if you are riding a pony to stick your hooks in. Your chest should remain plastered to opponent's back at all times. Also- remember to not leave your head far enough forward to get grabbed and yanked over hir shoulder by your head. That sucks. And finally- the near side hook should go in first. Do not spin to the opponent's back and throw your far leg over and try to stick that one in first.

A little positional sparring from closed guard and half guard.

One spar with Chrisanne.

I had to stop and take my contacts out halfway through the class because they were giving me problems. It was unpleasant to revisit the whole vulnerability-of-being-half-blind while sparring thing. I thought that once we started grappling, it would be fine, but I still had an uneasy feeling in my gut even though I wasn't really using my eyes at that point. It makes me worry a lot about what would happen in a real violent encounter once my glasses got knocked off. I wish contacts were not so uncomfortable for me and did not mess so badly with my near/far vision. The glasses are a very serious tactical handicap- even moreso psychologically than physically.

"Just let it happen." Uh, no.

(Being in a) Hard Zone demands a cooperative world for you to function. - Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”


Thurs lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue. We were professorless today, so Nelson was kind enough to work with us on a couple of judo throws, and then we sparred.

I continue to have great difficulty getting out from under side control (I continue to request that people put me there and just sit on me). Chrisanne likes to trap my near arm so that I can't get my elbow down, which makes it even harder.

Also, I need more options for attacking Chrisanne's Teflon Turtle. She doesn't let me get any hands or feet in anywhere. Next time I get some private moments with an upper belt, I will ask for suggestions for that.

Currently arguing with some asshat on Georgette's wall who feels that women should not carry guns and should simply submit to rapes in the hope of keeping their lives (because if you "escalate" , that'll just make things worse for you). I don't know why I argue with these people. It just gives me indigestion and makes me hate humanity even more. I should just find a forum to publish my eloquent wisdom as articles instead. 

Dead elephants

Look at the…. victim’s body language (There’s something wrong here,” she thinks, “but if I just don’t make eye contact or antagonize him, it will be all right.”) which was exactly what the threat was looking for.   –Rory Miller



Weds/Thurs: Slept very, very badly. Woke up at least half a dozen times, and started a new nightmare every time. Most of which featured Autumn '11. I was looking forward to Autumn '14 as a reasonable benchmark for being fucking OVER Autumn '11. I guess not. I'd like to strangle the idiot who said, "Time heals all wounds". Fuck you, you saccharine patronizing simplistic optimist.

Almost as bad as the nightmares themselves is the pervading feeling- over the following several days after having just one- that I am wearing an overcoat sewn out of dead elephants. Exhausted, depressed, aching.  I just want this shit gone. It makes alcoholism look like an attractive solution.

I also had another nightmare about someone breaking into the house, me shooting them, and the gun failing to fire. The peculiar part of this is that I feel really comfortable with the gun and my handling of same. Even in the dream, I was calm and collected and did everything right. My brain is taking my insecurities over my UNARMED defense techniques and transmogrifying them onto the only part of my skill set that I do feel okay about. It's a fascinating example of self-sabotage.

Lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue. Considering how poorly I had slept, I decided to skip evening class. I might have been able to handle the class, but I was worried about being fully conscious behind the wheel for the drive home afterward. Also- it quickly became plain that the traffic and parties for the Seahawks home opener were getting well underway by 2pm, so anyone with a shred of sense would be advised to flee as far from Seattle as possible.

Drill day. Start with partner in turtle while you press your chest to the patch on hir back and scoot from one side of hir to the other. Just to make it more challenging, put your hands behind your back. No knees on the floor. Looks simple enough, but two minutes of this feels like twenty.

Add a block of the arm to the beginning of this, and a gable-grip hug (sash style, over the shoulder closest to you) at the end.

Now add switching the leg and taking the back.

After this, we had several short rounds of drilling whatever we wanted. I tried to pick mostly things I suck at: sweeps, armbars from guard. Partner did the following:

From closed guard, cross grab opponent's wrist. Put your free hand under hir elbow (same side) and grab your own wrist in a kimura grip. Hip out. Now there is a plethora of subs you can do from here.

I found this very interesting, so I used it for the rest of my drill sessions, substituting an array of subs (including a few partner had not thought of).  Of course the arm spaghetti- getting the correct grips on the correct arms with the correct hands- was my challenge here. Also, partner notes that the hip out is the key.

One spar with Justin. Fun and competitive. We each won a good tap.

That's because they have been working with CINDY.

Addiction is huge in crimes…. Because it is one of the few things that we experience in the modern era that imitates survival violence. Whatever you might do for food or water on the edge of death is what an addict will do to feed his addiction.   –Rory Miller


136

Friday lunchtime BJJ in Seattle.

You are sprawled N/S on turtled opponent. Cross right arm over your chest and stick it straight down to the mat beside hir neck as you spin to that side of hir body. Grab hir wrist. Hop to place your right knee against hir, take the back, KEEP THAT WRIST GRIP. This appears to be a straightforward attempt to take the back, but if you keep that wrist grip and throw your leg over opponent's head as you fall back, it turns into an armbar.

I got this really nice and smooth after several tries.... and then OF COURSE professor walks over to look JUST as I try to do it on the stupid side and mess it all up. Why does he always time it thusly???!!!

Same thing, only opponent clasps hands to try to defend the armbar. You transition back to the backtake.

One spar with Crisanne. She is doing great- assertive, heavy pressure on top, everything really tight. She tapped me twice. I wasn't going 100%, but I was going hard enough that I was quite impressed with her work. Lindsey rolled with her next, and when I saw him at his studio afterward, he raved (unprompted by me) about how much her jiu jitsu has progressed. He specifically praised her assertiveness (again, unprompted by me). I could just pop with pride. I PM'ed her and told her about it, and told her how proud I am of her.

Dieting angst: I might have had the time and energy for at least one more spar had I not been hungry enough to start chewing the mat. I am not sure how to deal with this issue. I could carry energy bars, but I really don't want to eat those caloric things while I'm trying to lose weight. I do carry Slim-Fast's for emergencies, but if I drink one of those and then try to roll, I am pretty sure I'd puke.

After class (and lunch), I went to Lindsey's studio and we put together my backpiece, part of which is the Ox Head pic that I used on yesterday's blogpost. I took my own weapons to the studio- we are going to arm him with my own bo staff, K-bar Khukri and Spyderco folding knife. The Victorian goth angel on the other half of the piece is going to have my actual tai chi sword. Lindsey is excited about the art, which is great- it's always a good thing when your tattoo artist actually likes the piece and you know s/he's going to enjoy working on it.

Evening BJJ in Bellevue. Doug got a big grin on his face as soon as he walked in and saw me, and challenged me to a death match. I'm feeling so much love from my teammates this week. Honestly, I have just worked with so many awesome drill partners and sparring partners- people who push me, and with whom I have fun, and from whom I learn. I am gonna have to write a gooshy FB post to all three GB pods.

Almost all King Of the Hill from various positions with Prof's Doug and Sean down.   Haven't done this for a while, and after three classes in two days, this was probably the best possible thing as opposed to trying to cram yet another set of techniques. There were only about 6 of us (besides the Prof's), so we did not get much downtime.

Did I mention how fortunate I am feeling at class this week??? Six students and three black belts on the mat. Who gets these ratios???? How incredible is this?

Doug and Sean were raving after class about what good wrestlers the two unfamilar (to them) white belts were. I said (since they were familiar to ME!) "Yes, that's because they are from the Kirkland pod and they have been working with CINDY!!!!!)

Two long spars with Christy. She is also working very hard and doing extremely well. She- like Chrisanne- is very very good about listening to everything I say and incorporating it into her game. I tried to KOB and mount her several times, and she got the hell outta there before I could count 3. I'm so proud of my ladies.

Then one with Doug. Always a treat. I was doing a lot of skating around from side to side on top, very flowy.  Something I always can use practice on.

Hurts so good

The people without great talent but with desire tend to become the technicians.  When others are more talented, you must be more skillful to win.  Most of the really superb martial artists and fighters I've known have been runts with a drive to win.  Small and weak, they couldn't afford to be merely good.  They had to be fantastic to hold their own.   –Rory Miller



Saturday lunchtime BJJ in Seattle.

Warmed up with Coach Dynamo- mostly sitting on top of each other in turn and groping for sub grips that we couldn't get.

Drills to exhaustion:

Standup- Single leg
Guard pass to kimura
Opponent double-legs, you sprawl, crossface, move to side, double-unders, pull opponent into your back mount

Lots of getting up and getting down; this is always a vast amount of hard work.

Triple-partnered with Angela and Kelly, all of us going 110%.

Too tired to stay for 2nd hour "competition" class.

Thighs (lower fronts) aching by the time I got home. Usually it takes till the next morning- or at least that evening- before noticable muscle aches set in, so I know we worked hard. Always nice to work with Angela and Kelly. They take it seriously and bust buns.

The tangled web we weave

Stacking: a skilled fighter will use many things in combination. Strikes and gouges can both set up a throw and do damage during the execution. You can lock a limb while sweeping a leg. You can use a lock to slam the threat into a corner or over a coffee table. It’s all good. –Rory Miller





Fri: 128.   Okay, so maybe it's a LITTLE funny.


Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue.

Standup: Judo grips. Push and pull back and forth a few times to make foe step back and forth. Then as s/he is stepping forward with the foot on your elbow-grip side, pull DOWN with the elbow grip and UP with the lapel grip as you use your same-side foot to sweep opponent's ankle between the two of you. You want to do this very suddenly, after s/he has committed hir weight to the step but before hir foot is down.  (Note: stupid side is phenomenally stupid.)

Now: Top side control. Use knee to isolate the arm. Go for KOB, but it's a trap!!!!!! As opponent puts hand on your knee, you pin it to hir belt. That knee you have on hir belly, stretch it all the way behind you and then sweep it in a huge glorious circle around to stick your foot behind opponent's neck. You are going OVER TOP of hir arm. As you put your foot behind the neck, grab your own ankle with the other hand.

(Note: as you do this sweeping circular motion, you can also yank the opponent's head and shoulders up a bit to make it easier to stuff your foot in there. If s/he has turned toward you a little in order to try to shrimp out from under your KOB, this will also make your life easier. Thank you very much.)

Now roll. DO NOT LET GO OF YOUR ANKLE!!!! Place your other foot on opponent's hip. Opponent is probably helping you at this juncture because s/he has now realized your dastardly plot, and is trying to get postured to defend the triangle.

As long as you have kept that ankle, you ought to be able to complete your adjustments in a leisurely fashion. 

You can also finish the triangle without rolling if you wish.

Opponent is in turtle, you sprawled on top N/S. Place left arm against the left side of hir head and scoot to that side. As you are sinking the crossface, go ahead and secure a grip on hir OPPOSITE bicep.

Now reach under hir with your free arm and hug both hir biceps. Pull hir arms towards you and dump hir on the mat on hir back. If you stay nice and tight, and focus on placing your kneeling thigh under hir biceps, you can keep those arms trapped- which is a great position from which to do all sorts of mischief to bring about a finish.

Finally: gi choke from closed guard. Break opponent's posture and grips and lock hir right bicep under your left armpit. Linger there at smooching distance while you get the fingers of that same hand into hir opposite lapel (you can use your other hand to feed it if you need to). Don't tighten it up to the point that you don't have enough slack for the next step: stick the thumb of your right hand into the back of the collar right at the tag. Now whip your forearm over hir head and choke.

One roll with Daniel, one with Ron, one with the visiting black belt.

Ron seemed to be doing some catch and release, to the point where I was like, "Come on, finish your subs. Tap me, dammit. I'm competing next week." He replied, "I'm ALWAYS trying to tap you, Kitsune."  He was also doing a lot of inverted guard. I sprawled heavy on his face (sorry Ron) and used his gi tails to wrap up his shoulders and neck. I did not have a cohesive plan with that- my brain isn't that geometrically clever- but I did manage to get him so tied up that he found himself unable to transition into any of the nasty little tricks that he likes to set up from inverted guard. As we panted there with our faces about two millimeters apart, and I watched him try to move one way and then the other while dismay began to creep into his eyes, I whispered, "Oh, the tangled webs we weave."

So after two ten-minute rolls with Daniel and Ron that were tons of fun, Doug goes to put Mario with the visiting black belt, and Carlos stops him. "He's been training hard all day. Geef heem a break. Let heem go weeth Keetsune."

I couldn't decide whether to be insulted or not. On the one hand: Sparring me is apparently considered a "break" or at least markedly less work than sparring Mario, who is the same rank (taller and heavier, but it's not like he's a grizzly or anything). On the other hand, since Carlos is the one who is ranking me, one would think he wouldn't want me to roll with his buddy if he thinks said buddy will pull him aside after class and ask him, "Dude, what kind of bad acid trip were you on when you gave that chick a purple belt????"

So anyway, I fight the visiting black belt- who is a smaller-size guy and turned out to be great fun. He was letting me work some- even let me have a choke tap. I seemed to be rolling pretty well, and I got the sense that he didn't think I sucked. He also gave me a split lip, but it was well worth it.

It was a fun night of training.

Public service message: Paul Thomas Jiu Jitsu and Kickboxing MMA school (Katy, Texas) has indicated that Nick Schultz (the guy who raped a teammate at TLI and left her semiconscious on a cement parking lot in the middle of a winter night) is welcome to come back and train there (he has trained at Paul Thomas before). Please help spread the word that Paul Thomas Jiu Jitsu Kickboxing MMA welcomes dangerous and immoral asswipes onto its mats to troll for their next victims among its students and their families.  Please also indulge me as I will be using this blog on an ongoing basis to publicize schools and sponsors who support rapists. We need to get this out into the light where everyone can see.

"This is how people, like, take down LIVESTOCK."

I differentiate strangles (cutting off blood to the brain) from chokes (cutting off air). Both have similar effects, but chokes take longer and are more likely to trigger a panic response. These are the only techniques that work on everyone despite insanity, drugs or rage. –Rory Miller



Thurs: 128
Fri: 130
Sat: 128
Sun: 130
Mon: 128
Tues: 130

Come on.... is this supposed to be funny? I'm not finding this very funny.

I registered for the Revolution. 1 weight class up from my ideal in no-gi. I just don't feel like spending the next two weeks starving myself.

Weds: 130 

I dreamed about competing. At least, the lead-up to competing. I had that same acid feeling in my gut that I get when I'm waiting to go on the tourney mat. Does this count as time served toward my goal of learning to cope with the adrenaline dump?

Weds lunchtime BJJ in Kirkland. Escapes from side control.

Bree was here. I barely recognized her. She looks great. She's lost quite a bit of weight. It was very nice to work with her again.

Frame up, push, shrimp, get LOWER knee in, use feet to push opponent's knees as necessary, replace full guard.

Then: frame up, push, keep upper elbow planted while you windshield-wiper forearm to opponent's armpit. Jerk that elbow up- and shrug- at the same time you jerk downward elbow down. Turn belly-down and either take the back or deal with the turtle.

Next: same entry, only when you get to the side of your turtled opponent, turn 90 degrees to hir. Reach under hir and grab the knee. Pull knee while driving into opponent (use head and straight arm "punchthrough") to take top side control.

Then: same entry, only opponent grabs whizzer as you escape side control. Now you must hook hir near shin and pull it outward as you move your body behind opponent and between hir feet. Whip the arm free with a powerful circular slinging motion. Note that you must be careful to get BOTH of your knees behind the opponent- if you straddle hir shin, s/he can roll and kneebar you.

Drills with the "punchthrough" technique... Cindy likes this drill because when you get done doing the technique, you are already in position for your partner to do the technique. Then: positional sparring from side control.

I went straight home after that without rolling, showered and immediately set to work making cat food. That took me all freakin' day and I was late to evening class.



From under side control: Frame, push, shrimp, bring top leg over opponent's head and set it on hir shoulder. As opponent tries to figure out WTF you're setting up, you pop the leg back over the head and triangle. This was weird, but I liked the sneakiness of it.

"Punchthrough" technique again, and drills of same again. Switch partners and repeat.

Positional sparring from side control. God do I ever hate being under side control. I flail uselessly, I get pancaked, I waste a lot of energy, I get really frustrated. The only things that seem to meet with a small amount of success are 1)Black Crane elbow down to my own hip on the floor, turn on belly, let them back mount me. That sucks, but frankly I'd rather fight off being back mounted than fight off bottom side control. 2) wait till they try to change position or sub me, and attempt an escape while they are doing so. #2 is not going to fly on Cindy's mat because she harries me if I just lie there.

I gave Mike my KOB lesson, and also talked him through defending a bunch of chokes and other things I was throwing at him in rapid succession. Note that he is having a lot of trouble with breating. He is either doing the huff-and-puff or holding his breath altogether- not sure which- and then having to pause the roll and gasp on hands and knees. From now on, will make a point of continually reminding him to breathe during the roll.

A roll with Cindy. We took our gi tops off. She was squashing my face with her forearm, pretending to kneedrop on my belly, she tickle-pinched me once in the side and made me shriek, then insisted that it never happened. I kept arguing that this and that thing she was doing to me was illegal, and she argued that they was not. The whole time, she giggled. "I know what you're doing," I gasped out. "You 're trying to make me hate you enough to get rougher. I'm not going to be manipulated like that."  I got smeared, but the plus side was that I was moving continually at a high rate of speed... you have no choice when someone is constantly bouncing all over you grinding on your face and doing all sorts of other painful crap to you.

Next- because there's never enough pain to be had- we did some standup involving one meathook and one head- get to the side of the person and drive your head into the opponent (just above the eyebrow into opponent's jaw hinge or into the flat spot distal from the eye) and push hir around like that or use it to set up a takedown. Then, both hands behind our own backs and fighting just with the pushy heads. Depending on position, one head is totally in control of the whole scene. Note that I need to pay attention to my neck position, posure, shoulder position, etc or else I am not well set-up to try this. But it is very effective, and holy Christ does it ever hurt. Both Dave and I were tapping like crazy almost as soon as she got position and started pushing- never mind any takedowns. Very quickly I was reduced to geniuine PLEADING: "Oh Jesus, no, please don't demo that on me again, please...."

Then we did a supremely evil takedown. I mean, this is just sadistic. As a defense-oriented martial artist, I would love to have this in my toolbox.... but I don't think I am going to be able to bring myself to do it on some poor girl in a comp, much less one of my buddies. This is the kind of thing you'd do to someone evil who deserves pain. Like...hmm....yeah..... maybe someone who would screw a semiconscious teammate and then leave her lying alone on the concrete in a parking lot in the middle of a winter night. Yeah, that's the type of person I'd be able to practice this on. Repeatedly. Gleefully. With full commitment.

"Meathook" behind the neck with the left hand. I tend to want to try to hang weight off that hook, but Cindy notes that the elbow is supposed to be planted against the chest so that you're pulling with the hook and pushing with the elbow at the same time. Right hand behind-the-bicep grip.
Now: choke up on that meathook side abruptly, pulling your armpit right to the neck. Clamp.

The first time Cindy did this to me, she simultaneously pulled her bicep grip so that my arm was clasped across her belly with my palm TOWARD her- yes, this twisted my spine and put my shoulder blade toward the ground and made it impossible to defend wherever she chose to put me.  I really liked that aspect- but when it was my turn, she said that I was getting too fixated on that arm and that I didn't actually even NEED the arm at all- she had me let go of the arm and gable grip my hands together.

Now, take the foot on the SAME SIDE as your armpit clamp, kick it through hard and let yourself drop to the mat on your ass. Yeah.

You know, there is really no way to describe this so that you can appreciate the true level of terror and torment. I mean, you could twist someone's head off and watch it shoot across the room. That certainly is what it feels like when it is done to you. At the same time that your head is being twisted and popped off like a grape off the stem, your attention wars between that and the fact that your spine is contorting as you are being borne inexorably toward the floor. Backwards. Hitting the floor (backwards, with your opponent's full weight on you) is the LEAST of your worries at this juncture. It becomes immediately apparent that if you fail to spin your own body and throw YOURSELF onto your back with lightning speed, your spine is going to crack. Oh, and while you're doing that, try to get your neck aligned because your head is about to pop off. Hurry. You have about two seconds to parse this and then figure out how to physically make it happen. If you survive the takedown and find that you are not a quadriplegic, congratulations- now enjoy trying to get your breath back and get out of bottom scarf... unless you just want to tap right now and give your opponent the win before she kills you, since she's obviously a fucking homicidal maniac.  (I love you, Cindy!)

Kaungren (watching in horrified fascination): "This is how people, like, take down LIVESTOCK."

Cindy then did it to me again, and Mike dashed in to mime branding me on the ass.

Lessons from no-gi

Most people live at a comfortable distance from their bodies. As humans, we spend so much time inside our heads that we often forget the way out. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path



It was gratifying to learn that Ben and even Carlos are sore today as well. I had to tape all eight fingers tonight. I am so sore, and so tired... but I can't blow off lunchtime class tomorrow, because I've been cyberstalking Angela all week bugging her to come in. I need to not only show up, but make it worth her while. Ahhh- I'm exhausted just thinking about it!!!

Lessons learned in no-gi tonight:

1)If you think you might have to fight everyone in the room, DON'T leave all the biggest, scariest guys for last.

1b)Don't leave the professor for DEAD last, when you're wrung out and can't make a decent account of yourself.

2)My standard spar opening of pouncing on the opponent, applying top half guard, and then passing works great on most people, but NOT on black belts. I have learned to not stick my right arm between Cindy's neck and left shoulder, because she promptly armbars it every single time. Tonight Carlos did the exact same thing. I usually stick that arm in there and then work for position. I wonder if it would work if only I operated faster and more forcefully. IE, give them something more immediately pressing to deal with before they can slap the armbar on, and/or get my shoulder socketed in there posthaste. A "meathook" behind the neck instead of placing my forearm there might be a better option as well.

3)Kelly passes my guard repeatedly with that same "seatbelt" pass that JB likes. I need to stop letting her set that up, because once she has it set up, I can't seem to stop her from completing it.

4)I tend to be hesitant about putting hooks in while perched on the backs of huge turtling guys. They simply use an elbow to pin one of my feet to their ribs and then capsize sideways, trapping me underneath. If I do choose to commit to hooks, I need to commit to a fast, hard, technically perfect chokehold at the same time. No applying hooks and then working for position.

5)I think I am spending too much time working for position- full stop. I should try less futzing around and more FINISHING. Even when I think I'm getting a head start by pouncing and applying a position, I am *still* kinda waiting around to see how they respond, and then I'm on the reactive end of the equation yet again.

6)You can't grit your teeth and wait out one of Carlos' subs. He won't give up, because he *KNOWS* he has it on right.

My belt was sopping by the end of class tonight. People who don't launder their belts..... eeeeww.

I'll text him a picture.

“Oh, tonight we’re gonna drum till we fuckin’ EXPLODE.”  -Helen Bond (Medusa)




132.5

I had mushroom/turkey/cheese scramble for breakfast and dinner yesterday, plus a BJJ class. Lunch was of lesser quality food, although I did keep the quantity under reasonable control.

Monday lunchtime BJJ in Kirkland. I had a little trouble getting in gear this morning, and missed the warmups.

Foe is in your closed guard, punching at your face. Do Black Crane high guard to protect head. Pick your moment to jerk foe forward with your thighs. (Make sure to move your head to the side as you do this.) I continue to have a challenge pulling my opponent forward with my legs when s/he is heavy enough that I can't move hir weight and/or large enough that I can't fully close my guard. I try to make up for it by aggressively lunging up and locking on the bicep to haul down. Get hir down on your chest and control the head. As s/he tries to posture up, pick your moment to allow hir to "slip free" and grab butterfly guard with your feet on the hips. Cindy suggests that I allow my palms to slide down the outsides of the Bad Guy's arms as I move my grips to the sleeve cuffs or wrists- less chance of losing control of hir arms.

Attacking the turtle: taking the back, clock choke.

Positional training, then one roll with Pat and one with Cindy. She continues to catch me with that leg thing; I can now see some of the setups coming and GTF out in time, but she has numerous setups and some of them I still don't recognize until I'm already tapping.


Cindy: Are you coming back tonight?

Kitsune: I should go to Bellevue....

Cindy: Oh come on...

Kitsune: I don't want Carlos to forget what I look like.

Cindy: I'll text him a picture.

 

Always double-check the "to" line

Kitsune (at work, e-mailing note to self):

“Victims who survived a violent confrontation against a knife-wielding assailant consistently reported that they were completely unaware of the existence of the weapon until after they had suffered stab or slash wounds. In essence, these survivors of edged weapon attacks state that they believed they were engaged in some sort of fist fight; only later, after sustaining injuries, did they realize that the assailant was armed.” - Lawrence Kane
----------------------------------------------------------
Kitsune (Realizing half a second after hitting “send” that autocomplete sent the frickin' thing not to her home e-mail addy but to some random address owned by some random woman at my workplace with the last name of “Fox”):

!!!!!!SHIT!!!!!!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
Kitsune (to random hospital staff member):

OOPS!!!!!  Sorry about that,  I accidentally sent a self-defense class quotation to the wrong addy. Apologies. (blush)
-----------------------------------------------------------
Random staff member:

Haha I just read it was wondering HUH!!!
Have a great day  :)
---------------------------------------------------------------
Kitsune:

I figured I’d better explain that one real quick unless I wanted to find myself in Human Resources, explaining it to a security guard.
-----------------------------------
Random staff member:

At least we had a good laugh ;)
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"Pink Team" at Bellevue. Only Cindy, Lindsey and I showed up- so we just spent the whole hour rolling, round-robin.

Then "All levels".

Opponent is turtles, you sprawl N/S and then spin to side. Place you hip against hir hip. (This was where I messed up... in fact early on, Prof Carlos came over and told me to freeze, then he crawled *between* me and my drill partner.

Kitsune: "I guess I'm leaving a little too much space there."
Carlos: "Ten pushups. Purple belt......"

Okay, so you're hip to hip. now reach under hir chest with both arms and grab hir far arm. You have to get your near shoulder right UNDER hir, which was another awkwardness for me. S/he posts the leg out on the other side to keep you from shoving hir over. You swing your foot out in front of hir head, then swing it back hard and PULL opponent's upper body with you. Get in side control, staying heavy, but keep both of hir arms trapped under your arm. Turn slightly toward hir feet, pull on hir pants, front mount. Pull up on opponent's head and slide your body around behind hir shoulders. Secure back mount. Make sure both hooks are in.

Was drilling with Ron, and this seems like a good one for tiny, flexible people. He was very smooth, and since you usually get hauled up on your shoulder a titch when they mount, it can be hard to tell that that little compact body is sneaking in there.

Drills to nearly collapse, then we finished with an obscene amount of cardio.

As we lined up to bow out, I told the guys that I didn't think I had enough energy to life my forearm for handshakes. So they all started twitching a shouder up and forward to throw an arm up in the air.

I told everybody that I was thinking about competing again... maybe the sub-only comp next month, but more likely the Revolution in November. If I tell everybody, they'll keep on me and I'll be less likely to flake out.    :-P    ;)
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Ugh! My workplace's health insurance is now evaluating and categorizing people (with a goal of establishing sanctions) based on their BMI. I have a huge problem with this, since BMI is an inaccurate measurment for athletes (it counts muscle as fat). Although I'm probably in the top 2% of fitness for people in that employee pool, going by BMI alone will pigeonhole me as "overweight" and rank me below fat couch potatoes.

I'm going to try to appeal. If that doesn't work, I'm going to simply lie on my forms.

The new girl teaches

It is time for an athletic philosophy; a philosophy forged through muscles and heart, a philosophy born out of the union of body and mind, of pragmatism and utopia, of sweet sensitivity and a warrior's determination. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path


Wednesday lunchtime BJJ, GB Seattle. A 4th serving of the back mount to bow and arrow. Dessert: If the person you're B&A'ing paws at your arm with their matward arm, ignore it. If they paw at you with the upper arm, ARMBAR CITY.

Note that if the person is riding too low in your back mount, the center of gravity is misaligned and you can't get them over on their side. When you switch your base, it is vital to make sure that your knee is in front of their knee ("in front" meaning closer to the opponent's head).  

Positional training from back mount. To try to be a good partner to Angela, I attempted to do something different with each restart. However, eventually she had tapped me enough times that I ran out of stuff to try. I also had to tap once to the face-squash. I tapped verbally, and then kept tapping verbally about six or seven more times, because she couldn't stop the remainder of her body from sliding over my face.

One roll with Casey and one with Ed. Casey wasn't going to roll at all, because he has 2 injured shoulders, but Carlos suggested me. I like being the safe partner that you can roll with if you're injured.

Ed: I suggested that we start from standup. Very swiftly, there was a sole on my shin and then somehow I was lying on the mat. He says, "Oh, did you know I'm a Judo black belt?" Uh, no, I didn't, but now I'll ask you to work standup more often because now I'm sure you're quite safe. Although this means *I* will never get a throw. Oh well. Defense always needs practice.
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Wednesday evening BJJ, GB Bothell. A 4-stripe white guy forgot his belt. I informed him that if he lost his belt, he had to start back at the very beginning. Then Cindy realized that she had left her belt at the Seattle school. It'll take her a long time if she has to start back at the beginning!

Kitsune: "If someone new comes in tonight, we'll just say that we're having the new girl teach tonight."
Cindy: "Just as long as you guys still take me seriously."
K: "We'll take you just as seriously as we ever do."
C: "Thanks a lot."
K: "I love you Cindy!"

Armbar from guard, with opponent putting one knee up for you to underhook. Finish either before or after you lay hir down.

Sprawled on turtle, to back mount, to Bow and Arrow (Gawd, AGAIN.... I'm doing this in my sleep). This time, so not do the S-mount- just turn the body so that you are perpendicular.

Also, back mount to clock choke; and failed clock choke to the one where you catch the arm and then choke with your hand behind the guy's head.

Got to drill some with Cindy and some with Vince. I have been very fortunate in great partners lately.

A little positional sparring from back mount.

Spars- not doing all that great tonight, but I was pretty tired.

Vince had the double-sticks guys (who have class right after us on Wednesdays) do a little demo for us. It was way cool. After they had done at it for a while and somehow did not break either of their heads open like melons, someone asked, "So how long does it take to learn how to do it like THAT?" Teacher (straight-faced): "Two lessons."  Haha.

-------------------
Disguise: I think I'm going to end up using soot along with millet flour; I'll need to have them mix something in the flour to make it stick better. Blood may also be involved, either intentionally or accidentally.

Antlers: I think I am going to have to try to procure some smaller ones. I'm not happy about it, because I've done a lot of online shopping, and the selection and sources for small sizes is kind of sucking.

Hedgehog

Restricting our horizons is encouraged in order to seek perfect efficiency in only one activity, avoid dispersing our energies, and dedicate ourselves to a well-defined career. This is how experts are born and life dies. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path


The good part of two doses of bow-and-arrow drills in one day: you get to take the tweaks you figured out from part 1 and practice them in part 2.

The bad part of two doses of bow-and-arrow drills in one day: Your throat feels like you swallowed a hedgehog.

I had Angela this morning and Will tonight, and it's great to have excellent partners like they are- but they also got really nice chokes every time and knocked out reps like machine-guns. More aloe gel and aspirin tonight.

Same technique as this morning, plus this:

Opponent is in your close guard, throwing haymakers at your head. You do Black Crane style cover, then grab opponent's head and use your legs to hug hir to your chest.

Opponent fights the elbow and swims head out.  More haymakers.

Black Crane block with both elbow and knee; grab sleeve. Repeat on other side. Feet on hips. Spread knees out for butterfly guard.

Positional sparring from hanging off opponent's turtle, double-under lapel grips.

Spars. James did not remember my KOB lesson and had to be reminded. Next time he ought to be hustling as soon as I say "one!"  There was another blue belt there tonight with a lot of fancy moves, who ran a clinic on me. Also a big white belt who kept pushing my head to the mat. "Wrestler, huh?" Yup.

Vince invited me to do TMX with him and some other people after; which was really temping (esp since I'm trying to drop a few pounds before PSG), but after 2 classes, I was out of gas. Maybe another time.

....and still more back mount

Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them. We should therefore claim, in the name of tolerance, the right not to tolerate the intolerant.
-Karl Popper


Monday lunchtime BJJ, GB Seattle.

You are sprawled N/S on opponent's turtle. Cross your arm over your own chest and place your forearm against the side of opponent's neck before scooting around (keep your weight down on hir).  Get double-under lapel grips.

Switch your base so that you are sitting on the thigh FURTHEST from the opponent. Pull hir into your back mount. Be sure to get both hooks in.

With right arm, reach OVER opponent's shoulder and grab opposite lapel. With other hand, grab hir pantleg.

Lie down on your side (away from pantleg grip) and kick your matward leg back. If you can now get upright (I struggled a bit with that part), you are in S mount. Be sure to cinch the front shin right up against your opponent's chest, and your back leg right up against hir shoulderblades.

!!!!!!DO NOT LET GO OF THE PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do not lie down on your back! Remain upright, posture up for bow-and-arrow.

Aside from my perpetual driving need to let go of pants, and my difficulty getting upright to S-mount (you really have to do everything quickly and utilize the momentum from the lie-down-and-kick.... step by step ain't gettin' 'er done on this one), my challenge here is another familiar one: when I try to pull people into my back mount, I have a tendency to roll onto my back. I have troubleshot this issue before, but could not immediately recall the solution. So I adjusted a few things and experimented a little, and I'm actually pretty pleased that I was soon able to figure out what I needed to do. When switching base, I needed to plant myself further away from my opponent than would seem proper. Also, a little further up on hir body (closer to the head).

Seemingly endless dreels, then positional sparring starting from the double-under lapel grip hanging off the side of the turtle. Angela was laughing at me and seeming to have a lot of fun today. She said I was "fiesty" and that she likes it.

I tried to sit out the first roll of open mat to catch my breath, but Carlos was having none of that and told me to get on the mat. Cindy was egging him on. This is a downside of having Cindy back at GB; now she and Carlos can collude against me and gang up on me.

I rolled with Z, whom I wish would show up more often- he is just my size and has all sorts of cool sneaky tricks. He tapped me a few times; I got one choke sunk in that felt right, but I couldn't get him to tap (he said nothing was wrong with it, he was just being stubborn).

Then one with Bryan. Once again, I found myself with my arm crossed over my own chest. "Keep doing that," I told him, "Until I learn." Then I went and did it to *myself* while I was trying to turn my body under his mount, and didn't even notice it for a while.

Closed guard and spaghetti-legs

There are times when the body needs to heal, but those are ripe opportunities to deepen the mental, technical, internal side of my game.  You should always come off an injury better than when you went down.   -Josh Waitzkin, The Art Of Learning



4:30 basics. Head-and-arm chokes; and arm-and-head chokes, from sprawling N/S on opponent's turtle. Tighten as much as you can before you roll. You can use your fingers to "crawl" your hand up the opponent's arm toward the big round patch on the back of hir gi. You can roll either way. After having rolled a big guy right over my face and almost breaking my own nose once, I got very leery of the full roll here. I learned *THAT* day that you have to put your face into the space under hir ribs before you roll. I learned TODAY that you can actually turn your face the other way. To make life easier, just make sure the back of your head is going to hit the mat first- that way you don't have to pause and burn brain cells for ten minutes trying to figure out which cheek to lay on the opponent's back.


Ow. Mondo gi burn on chin after doing this.


Positional training from one person in turtle, 2nd person sprawled N/S on top. The class was me, 2 small ladies, a medium-sized 2 stripe blue that I didn't know, and a really tall lanky white belt I've never laid eyes on before. 2 rounds- I had to fight both of the guys, while the women got to pair together both rounds.  :(   Both of those guys whupped me.



Study hall- study hall was quite a revelation today. Today I discovered that after 4 years of BJJ, I do not know how to close guard. Not MAINTAIN it, mind you, we're not even there yet- I am speaking of the simple (heh) mechanics and positioning of STARTING there.


I never use closed guard. I can't get my stubby legs closed around most of the people I train with. The few that I *can*, they simply bench-press one of my thighs to the floor. Once the thigh is on the floor, I feel like it's pretty much over and I'm already beaten, so I let my guard open and mount some pathetic token resistance as the opponent breezes past and settles happily into side mount.


My usual method when asked to close my guard (assuming this is a person upon whom I *can* do so): I grab hir lapels, hike my thighs right into hir armpits, lock my ankles, and clamp. I don't *squeeze* the person with my thighs, but I attempt to mentally forge my legs into an immovable steel frame.

Carlos put me in his closed guard. His thighs were lying on the tops of my thighs like two pieces of overcooked spaghetti.  


It seems that my signature neck-cord-bulging approach is yet again resoundingly WRONG.


Carlos would like me to grab the opponent by the triceps (not seize hir by the lapels and yank hir into my steel-girder guard as if I'm about to bite hir throat out), hook my ankles, and then relax my legs knees-out around hir waist (not clamp them knees-up around hir ribs). Does not compute. And feels WEIRD. Weak. My legs cramped after about 20 seconds. It feels weird because I don't *do* it that way and I'm not used to using those muscles, he tells me.


He pulled up his gi pants and showed us his hairy shins. There is a palm-sized circular area on the back of each shin which is rubbed completely free of hair. This is where his legs rest on the opponent's back while holding closed guard.


"Don't open your closed guard. You are doing half the work *for* heem." Why does that sound familiar? Maybe because Cindy has said that to me about half a zillion times?   (only she says "him" instead of "heem")


"But what do I do when they bench-press my thigh to the floor?" He had Ben bench-press his thigh to the floor. His hip turned in the same direction and the opposite knee came up. His guard remained closed. I had Ben try to bench-press my thigh to the floor. My shorter legs just sat on top of Ben's thighs and he couldn't Kitty-Pryde them through his own leg to the mat.


I'm going to need to play with this, with kitten-level resistance, with a good partner before I can even start to wrap my brain around this idea. I can't believe this is going to work live. But my way sure as hell ain't working. If it does work, I'm going to feel like a real moron for doing such an elementary thing wrong for the last four freakin' years. But I guess I'd rather feel like a moron and get it fixed, as opposed to CONTINUING to be a moron.

"You only remember the bad stuff."

One of the first things to do is learn to accept, and to expect this Power to flow through everything we do.  –Ernest Holmes




Form Of the Day: Silken Needle.


Wednesday evening gi at Sleeper Athletics. More side control escapes.



1)You are in bottom side control. Frame up, hip out a bit, use your *matward* knee (for some reason I kept wanting to use the other) to push opponent's knee back. Now it is easier for you to trap hir foot with your ceilingward foot and pull it out. Pull it far enough to crank hir hips a bit to the side. Now you should have room to replace full guard.



2)You are in bottom side control. Frame up, hip out a bit, keep elbow braced on opponent's shoulder as you windshield-wiper the forearm under hir armpit. S/he whizzers. You grab under the butt and hoist hir forward, as you turn belly-down and get to your knees. Keep your head down to the mat.


Pull opponent's near shin out and scoot so that you are kneeling behind it. If your arm is still trapped, you can limp it out at this time. Note that at no time do you want your arm across/over opponent's back.


Opponent turtles. Now you can go to the side, grab the far leg and knee, and plow hir over to take side control. Use your head to push on hir ribs to help shove.





Spars interspersed with cardio. I stayed till the bitter end and didn't sit out any rounds. I also participated in the pullups this time. I can't do many, and I also need someone holding onto my legs.


Cindy, Erin, Terry. I was excited to get a hip throw on Erin (since we drilled hip throws for the last 2 mornings at GB). Then I spent several minutes trapped in stalemate in her closed guard. I continue to have trouble breaking closed guard. I have become too reliant on waiting for them to open the guard and then trying to capitalize on it. I knew she was going to try to triangle me, so I was very wary of that.


 Terry was attacking my feet, and I found that it paralyzed me more than ever- because I was scared that any move I made was going to put my foot in his range (it sure seemed that way!) I got front mount and I tried pulling his head up off the mat, but it didn't work- he immediately reversed me anyway. I was on the bottom a lot, and felt frustrated about my inability to defend sweeps. At the end, I whined that I can't get off the damn bottom, and Terry informed me that I only remember the bad stuff about my spars.

The Old Farts

What you do instead of your work is your REAL work. –Roger Ebert


Met up with CK and JB for an hour or so around lunchtime. The usual phoning and driving around trying to find somewhere to work out. We were luckless and ended up outside, which I was unhappy about. Cold, wet, bad footgear. Went through the Tai Chi long form a few times.


JB was annoyed with me for not announcing my promotion with more bells and whistles than I did. I responded, "Jiu jitsu here (indicating heart). Jiu jitsu here (indicating head). Jiu jitsu never here (indicating beltline)." I wasn't sure if she was old enough to get the reference, but I knew CK would.


After JB vacated, CK and I found an open community center. We started working on the long form again, but unfortunately- as sometimes happens- our yaps ran away with us and we didn't get a whole lot of work done. It might be worthwhile to try to schedule a lunch early in her visit and get some of the chatter out of the way so that we can focus better.


One of the things she told me was that CN has moved back to town. I'm not going to pin any hopes on this, because he has not spoken to me in years, and I'm not going to chase him around and bother him. But I told CK (again) that if she sees him, to please pitch that I will pay him to give me private Kung Fu lessons. Lord, I miss Shaolin.


I really wanted to get to Bellevue in time for Doug's nascent "Old School BJJ" class (aka "Old Farts' class"). 40YO and above only. I didn't get back to Bellevue from my visit with CK until I was about 20 min late (right through commute traffic- ugh and sigh). I came in and was happy to see that there was a decent turnout- 10 or 12 people, good mix of belt levels. I announced, "Sorry I'm late- I had to put in my false teeth, adjust my truss....." Doug looked at the clock and said something about the time; I responded, "You can see that clock from here without your bifocals?" Every time I made a smart-ass remark, he mimed making a little mark on the inside of his lapel- the record of all the things he was going to spank me for once the sparring started (I guess when you get that old, you need to keep a lot of notes because you CRS...ha ha.)


We did sprawl N/S on top of turtle, crossface go to the side, switch feet, "sash" grip, pull the guy over and take the back. I continue to end up on my back while pulling the guy over, and was able to ask Doug to troubleshoot it. It appears that I am planting my butt on the mat too far away from the opponent, and I need to glue butt to mat closer. Also note: if opponent is defending your hooks, start choking hir. S/he should reach up to grab your forearm, and then you can slip the hook in on that side. Further note: make sure to keep hooks at different levels once you get them in. One more thing worth paying attention to- be careful how enthusiastically you sock your heels into the hip creases of your male training partner. I got a distinct flinch.


If the turtle is clamped closed all around, crank one of hir elbows out just enough to get a foot in, then dive-roll. I need to work more on this, I was tentative about my positioning and doubtful about being able to actually overturn the guy, so I tended to not fully commit to the roll.


Take the back as above, then add 1)RNC, 2)RNC with one arm trapped, 2)cross collar choke. I continue to telegraph my RNC setup hugely. I need to learn to sneak that second arm in.


Sparring- Doug, Robert twice (he's 58! just got his 2nd stripe on blue belt- cool, huh?). Marcello, Chris (these latter two do not qualify as Old Farts, but a few of the Young Bucks came in to open-mat with us for a bit).  Robert's got great pressure from the top. Note- try to stay off the bottom with him next time. I love sparring with Chris. He's so big and scary-looking, but he *never* uses strength and is very careful with his weight. I've never so much as bent a fingernail working with him. A sublime partner. And a really nice friendly guy too.


Anyway, Doug seemed happy with the turnout and the way things went, and I really hope the attendance justifies continuing this class- it's a great idea. It was also a good environment for asking questions. If we can have a little Old Farts open mat after, so much the better.


Unfortunately for me, Old Farts' Class conflicts with Cindy's Friday night no-gi. I'm not happy with the no-gi scheduling, and not sure how to apply myself. Right now, the Sleeper gi classes are better for my routine... but I feel that it's important for me to work no-gi as well (especially since I'm worse at it), and right now I'm getting very very little.

Rock star

"To die will be a great adventure."    J.M. Barrie




I felt like a rock star at class tonight.

I got there in time for the last 15 min or so of the Women's class, which tonight consisted of Lindsey (teaching) and three white belts that I don't know. I jumped in with them and did some armbar-from-guard drills and then some positional sparring from closed guard (pass vs sweep or submit).

Lindsey was saying things like, "See, can you feel how Kitsune's using her hips to power that turn," and the girls are going "Oh, wow," and I started to feel like a fancy prize mare being trotted out so that everyone can ooh and ahh at the clean lines of the hocks and the perfect gait. I tossed out the occasional piece of profound Dalai-lama-like wisdom. I politely declined to sign any autographs. LOL.

With the positional sparring, I did my standard virgin lesson of sinking one collar grip and telling them to defend the second. Once they started to catch onto that, I began to mess with their base and coach them on that. Lots of positive encouragement. I let them work till the buzzer, then ended by sweeping each one- just because executing a real sweep (even on a white belt) is still a rare and shiny thrill for me.

I really do enjoy teaching brand-newbies (especially the women). And I am darn good at it, too!



Then I jumped into Doug's all-levels class (which was already warming up on the other mat). It was just him and me and Aussie Dave (in a new brown belt! Go Dave!), and a bunch of blues and whites.

Del a Riva sweep. Note that keeping a locked elbow/rigid arm on the collar grip is important, especially if the collar grip is high and deep. The first time I tried a deeper collar grip on Dave, I pulled him right on top of me (which was suboptimal for this situation). Doug is pulling a leg under himself in a tactical-lift-esqe motion to finish. You don't want to get caught in half guard or let the guy turn to you and curl up like a shrimp.

Although I am getting fairly comfortable with this sweep, stupid side is still so stupid that it doesn't know which foot to put up. Also, Dave suggests that I pay mor attention to controlling the foot that I'm hugging. Once again I was sloppy with trapping it at the back with my "up-knee", and there is also more I can do with the leg that's on the mat to control that trapped foot. Dave demoed that if he can pick up that foot and step out, I got nothin'.

Next: start from side control; the arm nearest the opponent's head gets collar grip right at the back of hir neck. Other hand- pretend you are digging for opposite collar grip, but it's a trap! When opponent puts up arms to defend, armbar. What seemed to be working best for me was to use my chest to put weight on and trap Dave's arm across his chest. Then take plenty of time to carefully secure the arm. Grab the pants before sitting back. Keep your foot that's on that pants side, on the mat- don't put it over the person, The pants grip will prevent the escape.

As usual, I wanted to grab my own lapel to try to force the armbar- since guys normally either muscle their arm away, bicep-curl me out of the armbar, or grab their own other hand/wrist to defend. We messed around for a bit trying to figure out how I could secure the arm and still prevent Dave from being able to grab his own other hand/arm and lock up. Finally consulted Doug. He suggested a maneuver that I have seen Carlos demo before, but I was not ready to assimilate it at that time. (I don't think I'm gonna assimilate it this time either, but I am one step closer to doing so.)

First, you have to let go of the pants and put your second foot over the person. Put it high enough so that you can trap the arm between your knees. Now, take that free hand and grab the wrist, use your entire body to force it in a curving motion toward opponent's head. It hurts at wrist/shoulder, so s/he will let go. (Do this carefully, slow and controlled). Continue the arc back to the armbar.

Now- 8 min spars with several people that I haven't worked with in a long time. Dave (God! Why did the entire world need to name their kid Dave! This was short blue-belt Dave), James and Steven. I am used to being dominated by all three of these fellows, so I was quite pleasantly surprised to find myself competitive tonight. I did worst against Steven, who passed my guard a couple times and kept me on the bottom a while. But even with him, I didn't feel like I was being owned. Every time I've sparred with James, he's smashed the snot out of me, so I was very happy with my performance tonight when all my snot remained intact. I didn't get any taps, but neither did they, and I wasn't on the bottom all the time.

I can feel myself getting closer to having a sub game. I am now finding that I can engage my brain enough to 1)try to set things up, as well as 2)look for openings. Neither of which I have really been able to parse until recently, through the mental white noise and the "survivesurvivesurvivesurvive" litany.  I am still not getting them yet, but I'm going to.

Open mat- I played with Dave (the Aussie one) and aksed him to kneebar/footlock me. He likes these, so he is going to be another really good person to keep going back to for help. ]

Noting (yet again) how instinctually I twist around like a ferret all the time trying to escape. I'm very flexible, squirmy, get through tight places, and my limbs are short- so I'm used to being able to just twist and squirt right out of things. Now that I'm having people attack my legs, I need to ***STOP*** doing this until I engage my brain first and make sure I am not turning the wrong way. This is going to be a real struggle for the next little while, since I am still trying to figure out which way the "Right Way" is, LOL. I failed a couple of the quiz questions Dave threw at me regarding this.

I got too much valuable advice from Dave tonight to fully absorb, but here's one good one: He was in turtle and somehow we got to a place where I was standing with one foot behind his butt (between his feet). THIS IS BAD! He summersaulted and leglocked me. He showed me that if I put my knee down so that the knee is on the outside of his leg and the foot in, it messes up his ability to summersault. It was counterinstinctual (for some reason I want to put the knee in at the foot out- this works too, sorta- better than getting leglocked, but he was still able to summersault and then neither of us had a distinct advantage). But there are a few guys who like to play inverted guard on me, whom I think I will deal with better if I can remember this trick.

Excellent night of Jiu Jitsu.