Breaking up is hard to do

You can use a strong wrestler's strength against him, but it is almost impossible to defend against a mental edge. Every time you execute a move, the smarter wrestler will counter, attack and counter. The smarter wrestler,  the wrestler with the better technique, with the better inventory of moves, with the agility and mental toughness to keep coming at you, is the wrestler who will win.-Kyle Maynard


Thursday BJJ at Bellevue: all spars.

Friday I missed. I spent the first half of the day in bed with a headache and extreme exhaustion. I felt somewhat better in the afternoon, but decided to not push my luck with getting repeatedly hurled o the ground and throttled.  This turned out to be a fortunate thing, as my house nearly burned down that evening- and that is an that you don't really want to miss. The animals and I were evacuated and spent 2 days sleeping on Cindy's floor. ("The house is really dirty," she says when I call her to inform her that all five of us are inviting ourselves over for an indefinite length of time. "Cindy, my standards right now are very low. If it's not ON FIRE, it will look great to me.") Luckily the area fire department was on point and they did not let my house burn down. Tense weekend, though.

Thursday- all spars again. I got an armbar on Amy that I was very pleased with- it was from a weird position and I am still not great at sussing those out. Amy beats me now 7 times out of every 8, so it was that much more the sweeter. (Note that I need to remember she is VERY GOOD at grabbing kimuras as I pass her guard. She got me *TWICE* with the same routine.) I managed to mess up my shoulder.... I had a few moments of "I should really tap now, but I DON'T WANNA tap...." Thought I was over that crap, but the ego still rears its ugly head once in a while. And now I pay.

Thought I might have to sit out Friday due to shoulder, but Chrisanne said she'd come in, so I went (feeling safe in her hands).

Standing guard pass to KOB

Standing guard pass to KOB to kimura

Standing guard pass to KOB to armbar

I was happy that I am finally remembering consistantly to grab the pants with that armbar. I am also now able to usually remember to pin the opponent between my shin and knee. Still need to get a bit better about clasping the forearm to my chest (grab my own lapel if need be). Carlos also wants me to clasp the forearm more closely to my chest in the kimura.

A little positional sparring from spider guard- pass vs defend.

So there's where it happened.... I stacked Chrisanne- not much, but apparently too much- and hurt her neck.  I was horrified to have hurt her YET AGAIN, and Carlos walked over and told us we had to stop seeing each other for a while.

I feel terrible. I have always prided myself on my control, and on being able to be careful while working with smaller and less experienced opponents. Right now I am feeling insecure about something that I have always felt was one of my biggest strengths in BJJ.  It is making me feel tentative, and I hate that- I have been fighting "tentative" in myself all along and this is feeding my dragon.

 Chrisanne is difficult because I know she does not want me to go easy on her.... and she's good enough that if I *do* go easy on her, she's just going to dominate me to the point that it's not going to be useful for either of us. I'm pretty sure she would be pissed off at me if I started doing that.

Also- she had had a shitty day. She felt allergy-ill and didn't plan to come in, and then she had some bad crap happen to her and decided to come and and blow off some frustration. I feel really awful that instead of helping her do that, I ended up making her feel worse.

In better news: I have managed to drop 14 of the 15lb that I gained from being on sleeping pills. I am relieved. I didn't like being that weight- it felt like I was wearing a fat suit. going to have to be very careful from now on.

The dog workout

Giving in to the urge to tell someone to fuck off can have lifetime results. Odds are good this guy will be out of your face and life in a few moments. But if you give in to the impulse, well, remember every time you “play”, you’re taking a chance.   –Campfire Tales From Hell



Well, it was not the caffeine. Nor the sugar.

I stayed on one soda per day (first thing in the morning) for a week.. Hardly any sugar, either. There was not one iota of change in my sleep patterns, my anxiety level, my energy level, or my weight. I am going to have to go to the doctor. Upside: now I can have my Dr Pepper, since I have proven that it doesn't do a damn thing to me.

Went hiking with CK last week- Twin Falls and Deception Creek. We were both tired, and not pushing hard physically. On her last day, we did a little stance work. Once again, just STANDING with CK is more exhausting than sparring with anyone else.

I got the dog on Wednesday. Well, dogS.... because I have White Knight Complex, I was unable to say no to the elderly dog's elderly buddy... and I consider myself damn lucky to have not ended the week with all three of them. The second dog is a foster- meaning I do not have to pay his vet bills. I have too many pets right now. It is a stressor. But they are all elderly or special-needs or both, and let's be real- chances are that one or another of them will kick off soon and I will be back to four, which is a number I feel I can cope with.

We are doing a ton of walking (which was part of the point of obtaining a dog). Up and down the neighbor's driveway, mostly, a ten-minute dirt-road stroll through the woods.  Yesterday we walked for two hours around Al Borlin Nature trail and downtown Monroe (where we were attacked  by a purse dog). Today we went to Big Eddy, which is only about 1.5 miles from my place.

The dog I picked is exactly what I wanted. She basically walks when I want to walk, and otherwise she is napping and completely unobtrusive and undemanding. It's like having a hiking buddy that you take out of a drawer when you want to walk, and then put away when you are done. The foster is proving to be more high-maintenence (no good deed goes unpunished). He's a dear, but he has a dismaying amount of energy for an elderly dog, and is constantly in my face. Tonight he was dragging me along on the leash (he wanted to RUN!!!), and when I tried to wear him out afterward with rowdy playing in the dog run, he wore ME out instead. Well, he is certainly going to be forcing me to get plenty of extra walking. It's going to be challenging for me to try to keep up with him, and even more challenging for my poor dog (who is game, but arthritic, and her legs are about half the length of his).


Thursday evening no-gi in Bellevue. It was fun to drill with Peter.

Pummelling, double-leg setups, Standing guard passes. Standing guard pass to KOB. Standing guard pass to KOB to back take. Two or three variations of the bottom person trying to defend, and the top person switching gears and completing the pass in a different way. I would have liked to get down the details of these, but I didn't blog it last night like I should have, and now the details are escaping my mind.

King of the hill: pass vs sweep, pass vs resist/submit. I got spanked; I drew exclusively very talented people. I did achieve one guard pass on a guy which surprised me. I hope he didn't hand it to me.

Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue. Drill-Till-Ya-Puke night. All from standing guard passes, which is a real bitch on my knees (and my thighs). Standing guard pass to KOB. Standing guard pass to KOB to armbar. Standing guard pass to KOB to kimura. After working with each of these for a few minutes, we drilled each 100 times. I had to hustle to keep up with Chrisanne, whose Monkey Bar Gym work and clean eating have me eating her dust. My thighs are on fire. I did well with remembering to grab the pants on the armbar. Also worked on pinching my knees together, a persistant failing of mine. I did less well with the kimura. I get lazy with the grips, especially when I am tired and trying to go fast.  The many, many, fast standing guard pass reps put me in a dangerous place- when I get really tired, I am prone to rolling my ankle out and twisting it badly. I did that tonight, but fortunately it was not too severe- I was able to continue, and it's not swelling or aching much at all later (thank you gods).

Chrisanne and I had wanted to spar after, but we were both too wiped out.

My thighs are going to be twin pillars of pain in the morning. Not looking forward to being hauled along that dirt road, but it will be the best thing for them. (A little hair of the dog, har har.)

Chicken wing

It is important that when a new activity is being introduced, the practices that immediately precede it are well known to the student and the general movement pattern is similar to the new skill. The advantage of this strategy is that the student is confident in his own ability and has a starting point to work from. Having an existing frame of reference makes any demonstration or presentation  of a new technique all the more effective for the student, because he can quickly relate it to his own existing range of skills. With similar movement patterns, the rate of learning is much faster than with different ones, because part of the skill is already known.  Tony Gummerson, "Teaching Martial Arts"


Thurs  lunchtime in Bellevue.

All five-minute flow rolls, rotating partners. Chrisanne points out that this is more aerobic than ACTUAL rolls.


Fri Evening in Bellevue. Carlos made Chrisanne and I split up and work with white belts. It was also Pick-On-Kitsune Night.... he was all up in my grill criticizing all my details. I know that this is a good thing- it helps me get all the little kinks out of my technique, and I am also aware that if he didn't care about my progress, he wouldn't bother to nitpick at me... but it does give me the Performance Anxiety Sweaties. If he picks on me too much, I start panicking and getting really frustrated and frantic and sloppy. Note: two or three times recently, Carlos has looked at my technique and indicated displeasure, leading me to ask, "What am I doing wrong?" He doesn't like that word. It's not wrong, it's an opportunity to improve. Anyway- need to find a different phrasing to ask what the problem is (I'll bet he won't like "problem" either... okay, I need to ponder that....)

Standup: judo grips. Moving around. Stop with feet square to opponent. Let go of elbow grip. Grab your own lapel and jerk your torso to the side to free opponent's grip (do NOT step back, and do not turn so far that you are facing away from the enemy). Slide your lapel hand down and place your free hand above it. Jerk opponent downward. S/he will try to posture up. Step in with the foot that is on the same side as your grips. Use the hand on the OPPOSITE side to grab the leg. Lots of places here for me to get confused with right/left.

Armbars from mount. When I do these, I like to put my hand on the mat on the same side of the head as the arm I'm attacking, yank the person aggressively up on hir shoulder, and pin hir there with my knees.  Carlos made me place my hand on the opposite side of the head as the arm I'm attacking (which makes me feel off balance, leaning there with my arms crossed) and leave hir back on the mat. This is very different from what I am used to doing. Also (and I didn't remember this until afterward), I continue to be sloppy about pinching my knees together on the arm.

This was new: From mount, you try to do the armbar and the opponent defends by wrapping the arm around your hip/waist. You trap the arm between your bicep and thigh. Note that the arm must stay bent to finish this. I had to mess around a bit to find the right angles, but it's essentially a kimura. If it isn't working, you can scoop your arm back and chicken-wing the opponent's arm out further. Or do a wrist lock.

One great, competitive roll with Chrisanne. I was working hard to keep her out of turtle; and she got me in side control a few times, but I was trying mightily to stop that as well. This forced us both out of our customary games and made us both try some new things, which was exciting. 

No-gi butterfly sweeps

If we can switch the odds in our favor by changing our appearance or demeanor instead of fighting, it increases our survival. And this is all about survival. Campfire Tales From Hell



Thursday evening no-gi in Bellevue. Chrisanne was not there, and there were enough big white belts that I took the cautionary step of asking Sean to drill with me.

Pummelling, double-leg setups, failed double-leg to backtake, mutual neck-and-bicep grips to backtake (Sean suggests that I pull down on the neck, which I had not been doing, and yeah- that works better).

Same kimura from guard that we did last week. I was very very glad that I had asked Sean to work with me. I need a big white belt yanking on my rotator cuff like I need.... well, a torn rotator cuff. 

Butterfly sweep.

Then, butterfly sweep that fails due to opponent sticking hir leg out. Underhook the thigh, hook your toe around hir far ankle, and sweep the opposite way. This was working fine for me, but for some reason Sean was struggling with it. I was sure that the issue was that he wasn't getting deep enough underneath- I could feel my center of gravity lower than his, and when I was doing the technique, I didn't even try to push him over until I had wiggled UNDER his COG. Then Carlos came over to troubleshoot and had us do something COMPLETELY different- which involved pincering the opponent's leg between yours, stretching hir out, then rolling. I didn't think that was going to work with my short legs, but surprisingly it did (of course, Sean's legs aren't the longest in the room...)
Several short rounds of positional sparring, mostly from butterfly guard, rotating partners: sweep vs defend, sweep vs pass, pass vs open guard only, a few others. There was **NO** dry area anywhere on the mat, and it was like a greased pig contest.  I was not doing too great.... but I was very impressed with how good Amy is getting.

Was happy that I had both the balance and the upper-body strength to hoist myself up on top of the highest section of the retaining wall so that I could cut some blackberry brambles. I'm figuring that someday I will no longer be able to do stuff like this. Today is not that day.

Why are white belts so self-conscious about sucking?

In any incident, your first line of defense is your observation skills and instinctual feeling or intuition. Do not discount how important these are to your life, whether in fighting or getting along at work. Campfire Tales From Hell



Friday evening in Bellevue. I skipped Thurs because my tattoo is still stinging. I skipped tonight's sparring for the same reason. I really wanted to get on the mat, but after the techniques and drills, the left half of my back felt like I was being roasted over a slow fire. It didn't help when Chrisanne gave me a comradely slap on the back RIGHT on the most sore spot. I whimpered, and Carlos happened to be standing right there to see it.  :P

Warmup roll with Casey.

While we were doing that, a white belt who was jus finishing up the Monkey Bar Gym session was dithering about staying for the BJJ. We encouraged her, but she was like, "I suck, I really suck BAD..." Why do white belts get so self-conscious about sucking? Of course you suck! You're a white belt! I informed her that we all suck; if we didn't, there would be no reason to be here because we would already know everything.

As we were running warmup laps, I was following Casey and Casey was following Lance, who is quite a bit bigger than both me and Casey put together. Casey commented wryly, "I feel like I'm chasing a bear!" and I simply could not stop laughing for a really long time.

Pummelling (ow)

Butterfly guard sweep (ow)

Carlos wants me to crawl up higher in front mount and pinch my knees together. Chrisanne moaned when I pinched my knees together on her ribs, so I guess that's good advice.

Note that if you do not want to front mount your foe after butterfly sweeping hir, you can keep hold of the near arm, do a low-to-the-mat technical lift type maneuver to get yourself belly-down, and end in side control with that arm trapped straight out down your linea alba. Nice position to get a little Shoulder Of Justice in while you're there.

Opponent defends butterfly sweep by bringing hir arm to the inside and pushing against your chest. Grab that arm by the wrist, yank it down to your belly button, and sweep hir the OTHER way. Note that for me, this does not work at ALL on the stupid side. Way too weak and unbalanced-feeling.

Kimura from guard. Make sure to get leg high up in opponent's armpit (this is a chronic problem for me in this technique as well as a few similar ones) and close the guard. Carlos adjusted Chrisanne's knees in a way that made me groan "Ohgod, that sucks." and they both started cracking up. Carlos: "I love to hear that." Chrisanne says, "Good, then I will keep doing it like that!" Carlos reprimaded me for doing a hip escape. Just stay where you are and be forceful with that leg. If you are assertive, the Bad Guy does a face plant on the mat. Carlos points out that for best results, you want a push-pull action- namely, keep hir arm straight and push it up as you force hir shoulder down.

He's asking for a roll in the hay.

Violence works. It is something that bad guys use to get what they want. When people look for the sources of violence or seek peace, this is the elephant in the room that everyone ignores. As long as violence works, some people will use it. -Rory Miller


Evening BJJ in Bellevue. Almost everybody was watching Amy win her MMA fight, so it was a very small class. It's been a long time since I've worked with anyone other than Chrisanne. I was hoping Peter would be there, but he was not.

One of the warmups that Doug had us do tonight was a logroll all the way down the mat with hands and feet both up off the mat. I looked at that and thought, "What's hard about that?" I did it really fast, twice (one direction and then the other). All was well until almost to the end of the 2nd run, and then quite abruptly I stared to feel nauseous. It was very odd. I have always done a ton of MA and dance and acrobatics and all sorts of stuff, and I have never had that issue. I guess I will limit the logrolls to once across the floor (half one way, half the other). Nausea persisted through class- mild but distracting. I had to skip the sparring, which sucked because I love to get a chance to spar with Doug.

From bottom half guard: Get the underhook, then go deep (get your face waaaaaaaaay down there to avoid being crossfaced out). Grab opponent's far foot and pass it to your other hand, behind hir butt. Underhook hir other knee. Rearrange your feet- CAREFULLY- you have to make sure you keep that foot trapped- so that you can roll onto your stomach and scissor your legs for the sweep. Go to side control around either side, you can keep the foot if you are able.

From bottom half guard: go for the kimura. (If opponent is sitting up, yank hir forward with your legs so that s/he has to post.) When s/he sticks hir hand in hir groin to defend the kimura, keep ahold of the wrist but use that over-the-shoulder hand to grab the back of hir belt or pants instead. Now loosen your legs just enough to make the opponent think s/he can pass. As s/he does, hoist hir overhead and to the side (like an upa). S/he ends on hir back, you can keep the arm and finish the kimura from the top. Or take top control, or armbar, or whatever (I was ending up in N/S, which was fine with me). Note that this takes about as much effort as wafting a feather. The opponent's own effort to pass lofts hir over. You are not using arm strength to heave hir, and you are also not dragging hir over your face. Doug does this to me ALL THE TIME, so it was nice to learn it. I will have to ask him for a defense. I hate finding myself being swept when I know exacly what's coming and can't stop it, but the alternative seems to be park there and allow yourself to be kimura'ed. There must be another option.

Doug likes to end his classes with a choke. This one was from closed guard. Pull opponent forward with your legs and do a double circular parry in front of your face so that as s/he posts, you whizzer one bicep. Clamp it nice and tight and grab hir opposite gi lapel with the same hand. Stick the thumb of your OTHER hand into the lapel just above your first grip. Slide it up to the back of hir collar, then whip the forearm over hir head and choke. This is a sublime choke. The guy was tapping almost immediately, and there was still miles of room left to add more pressure. When he did it to me, I noticed that because both hands are on the same side, I didn't immediately register it as an imminent threat. Also, once he started applying it, I held out for a bit thinking "It's fine... it's fine..." and then ALLOFASUDDEN there were the black roses blooming in front of my eyes. Once it was truly in position, it was damn quick.

All three of tonight's techniques begin with positions that I find myself in frequently but then get stalled in because I can't quite remember what to do. If at least one of them sticks and I can remember to try it live, I'll be very happy. In particular, my brain seems to have an extraodinarily difficult time retaining the mechanics of gi chokes- an area in which I would really like to expand my practical toolbox. I can't wait to try this one on Chrisanne.

Doug (as Hozier comes on the sound system): "This music has got to go."
Kitsune: "You don't like this one?"
Doug: "No... it sounds depressing. And I'm not sure what it's about."
Kitsune: "It's about sex. He's asking for a roll in the hay."
Doug: "Really?!?"

Thursday x2

Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, cause it's going to be empty. -Clint Smith


Lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

Copious drills. Single-legs (Carlos reprimanded me for repeatedly flinging Chrisanne against the wall. I informed him that the wall is a weapon. He was not amused.). Kimuras from closed guard. Cross collar chokes from closed guard.

About a million rounds of closed guard pass vs sweep. Sweeps continue to be the weakest part of my game. Didn't get a single one. Got some passes.

One roll with Chrisanne.

Evening BJJ in Kirkland. I am trying to make an appearance in Kirkland once in a while, even if I can't make it on Cindy's days. On Thurs evenings it's "basics" in there, which is often a little easier for me to deal with that the "advanced" in Bellevue, when you're talking two classes in one day. It also starts half an hour earlier, which lets me get home a little sooner.

Tonight I definitely coasted a bit. Dave is getting over some respiratory funk, so did not challenge me as he usually does (no coasting when you're rolling with Dave). I was working with a brand new girl white belt who couldn't even make it through the entire drill session.

Pummelling. Cross collar choke from closed guard (cranking the person to the side a bit  to facilitate the choke... like this detail. Was not able to do it on stupid side, dammit.). Basic guard pull from standing. Guard pull to armbar from guard. Guard pull to failed armbar from guard, to triangle.

One roll with a tall white belt guy. Armbarred him and RNC'ed him.

Kimura clinic

A warrior is a master at facing conflicts, and conflict is what stands between us and the fulfillment of our desires. Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path



Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue.  Short roll with Peter to warm up.

Kimura clinic! Prof. Herbert informed us that Sakuraba, the "Gracie Hunter", used this to beat a whole bunch of Gracies and break the arm of one of them.  Booyah.  I was happy to be drilling with
Lindsay and not some spazzy white belt.

Opponent tries to double leg you from standing, you sprawl, s/he switches to single-leg, you slide your hand over hir shoulder blade and down into hir armpit ("Armpit" being the English word lesson of the day for Prof. Herbert), kimura. If the opponent tries to roll out of it, you just follow hir to the floor and finish it there. The positioning of this is still not instinctual to me and I continue to flounder a bit.

Same entry, only YOU are now the one doing the failed double leg, and opponent hugs you around the torso. You must note which hand s/he has on top, since that is the side you want to attack. Get your kimura grip and then fall on the hip nearest opponent. This will force hir to summersault. You are now in a T position with hir head on your ribs. The prof pointed out that this is a neck-cranking position that you can get in trouble for in gi. Just roll belly down and hop over opponent's face, and you will be on top to finish. I have never done this technique before, and it was fairly complex, and kimuras have always been a bit tricky for me- yet I recieved a "Perfect" comment from the prof. Wowza.

Opponent bear-hugs you under arms from the back. Again, you must note which of hir hands is on top because that's the side you want to target. Place both your hands on top of hirs, shove them down to your hips, and get kimura grip while rotating hips violently sideways to get the extra room.

Same, only now you are on your knees. As you turn your hips and grab the kimura, open your knee to the outside on that same side. your toe should be behind opponent's foot. Now, as you roll onto your back, you can butterfly-sweep opponent over your head and continue the roll so that you land on top to finish the kimura. Herbert's first performance of this wonderous thing prompted a spontaneous exclamation of "Holy CRAP" from me.

A few rolls with Lindsey. We both got a few taps. I always feel good after rolling with her.

Lindsey was impressed with the Tahiti Sunrise colors on my right knee (which are only getting worse as I continue to do single- and double-legs and other knee-grinding grappling drills). The knees hurt (especially the right), but I am able to function.

Tripod sweep

Changing the world has nothing to do with altruism or with trying to be a good Samaritan. Ultimately, since everything is connected, helping others inevitably means helping ourselves. At the highest level, there is no difference between egoism and altruism. It is a karmic ping-pong game. All our actions come back to us. Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path


Friday lunchtime BJJ at Kirkland.

Tripod sweep: Begin in standup with judo grips. Step on opponent's hip on the side that you control hir elbow. Drop to back, swing free leg out, bring it back in and place on opponent's other hip. Now: remove your first foot and stick it between opponent's feet. Trip that foot while you grab the other heel. As s/he falls, let the momentum pull you up, take side control.

I like this sweep- it's so technically beautiful- but I have always struggled with it because there is so much going on at once. That one hand grip remains, so that's easy- but you have the other three limbs doing three different things, and it has to be simultaneous and smooth. I think this is one of those things that's not really going to click for me until I get a few more levels up, and can see the big picture logic instead of stressing about which leg to hook and which hip to be on.

Same setup, only now the opponent steps hir foot back when you try to grab the heel. Quickly scoot up so that you're sitting on hir foot and hugging hir shin with the INSIDE arm. Fold your legs to the outside. You can post with the free hand- you don't have to try to hang onto hir. Fold hir leg inward and move to side control.

For both of these techniques, a familiar problem arose- I continue to let go of the far pantleg. If I can remember to keep that, it will prevent hir from scooting either into me to replace guard or away from me to escape.

Third technique: pull guard from standing, yank opponent down on chest, when s/he postures up, go with hir and either kimura or situp sweep. Dave points out that I am not assertive enough about controlling the opponent's arm. I tend to get fixated on trying to haul my elderly butt up far enough to bear the opponent's trunk down, and I fail to grab the arm firmly enough, pull it deep enough, or clasp it close enough. Sometimes I forget to grab it at all.

This was an exhausting class because of all the up-down-up-down-up-down. Dave is a great partner, always encouraging when he sees I'm getting tired.

A little KOTH from standing- try to pull guard. Whomever succeeds them tries to sweep or submit, while the pull-ee tries to pass.

I was too exhausted physically and mentally to spar afterward.

I registered for Proving Grounds, in my usual bracket even though I'm right on the edge and have only 1 week to make sure I make weight. I almost registered one weight class up just to be safe, but that one was 135-155. I really do not want to fight 155-lb people. Although it probably won't matter, we will almost certainly be combined anyway.

Move your head.

Stopping violence or potential violence is a separate issue from  “justice”- motive and mental competency are keys to determining the level of criminal culpability, but are irrelevant to whether someone must be stopped before they hurt somebody. –Rory Miller


Thurs "advanced" class in Bellevue. This turned out to be a combined class- Prof Carlos is at Worlds, I think.... Prof Jamie taught us.

Cross collar choke from guard, Kimura from guard, situp sweep from guard, hip throws, pulling guard from standing, pulling guard from standing and then transitioning to armbar. I was working in a trio with Nadine and Chrisanne, and was able to give them some good hints and feedback (such as, MOVE YOUR HEAD TO THE SIDE before you swipe someone's posting arms off your belly and yank them down on your chest in closed guard). As amusing as it can be to watch white belts bash their foreheads together, I just don't have the heart.

Positional sparring from closed guard and spider guard.

One spar with Casey and a couple with Chrisanne. Chrisanne was working tighter tonight. I did have to remind her to assertively jump on me right off the fist bump instead of sitting back on her haunches and waiting meekly to get shoved to the mat. But she was feeling really heavy on top tonight, and doing a good job controlling all my parts so that I couldn't effectively get out of her scarf or side control.

I will unfortunately be missing Friday evening class- my cat is having surgery tomorrow, and I will have to stay home in the evening and keep an eye on him. I'm all out of good library books, and most of my PSG packing is finished- so maybe I will actually get a little writing done? Made another batch of cat food last night with the tape player going- the stirring of the creative juices put an intriguing new scene into my mind. Need to stay out of the kitchen, at any rate- especially with the missed class. I'm going to have to be really careful if I want to make weight for next weekend. I'm right on the edge. My fridge is full of eggs, but all I want is pizza!

It's illegal

 Stealing from the gods the fire of passion and creativity to lighten our life is just the first step of the trip, not the destination. Passion and creativity are not our private property, not our very own toys. They are the sparks lighting the fire of a big tribal camp. Having talent and not cultivating it is a crime, but cultivating it without sharing its fruits with others may be even worse. In its highest form, the way of the warrior is that of the bodhisatva: putting one’s talent at the service of a superior destiny. Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path



Lunchtime no-gi at Kirkland.

Some pummelling, some double leg setups. The double leg setups we were doing today.... 1)begin with feet square so as not to telegraph. 2)begin at very close range. 3) from pummel, make sure you trap or duck under opponent's wrist on that side when you drop. 4)Step FAR in. I never step far enough. Foot should be between opponent's feet and BEHIND them. 5)placement of the OTHER foot is eternally problematic for me. I tend to step *too* far forward with that one, and also too close to opponent. (See how I have exact opposite problems with each foot? Welcome to my world.) The hand placement, the upright back, and the head pressure I seemed to be doing (mostly) right this time (note this is about the eight millionth time Cindy has gone over this technique on a personal and intensive level with me).

Keylocks from front mount. I was corrected for failing to use the thumbless "monkey paw" grip. Also for not having the elbow close enough to the opponent's head. When jumping from low grapevining front mount to high mount in the armpits, move more quickly. Pull the head off the mat to keep opponent from bridging.

If opponent joins hands to defend the keylock, go to kimura grip. I need to focus on keeping opponent's arm folded firmly. S mount. Take the foot closest to opponent's head and fold the shin back along hir back. Pull opponent's head and shoulders into your lap. This rolls hir over your shin, which you can now use to pin hir arm. Opponent is now in a triangle, facing away from you, with hir head and shoulders in your lap. Choke way up to right under hir armpit- you do not want opponent's ribs inside this triangle. Now you can let go of the kimura grip and grab your own ankle as you post on the mat with your other hand. Readjust the triangle so that your shin is shoved horizontally right under opponent's chin. Now you have to scoot yourself all the way around hir head until you are lying on your side and can grab one of opponent's legs.

This particular technique makes me very, very relieved that Dave is now usually the demo dummy. This one hurts. Badly. In all sorts of ways.  

A few rolls- Dave, Cindy, a guy I don't know. I wasn't doing very well today in the sparring. Last night I had been marvelling that I felt competant in sparring, so I'm not surprised... it is common to have a "wow, I suck" day right after you start to feel like you might know what you are doing. BJJ likes to keep you humble that way.

Cindy also informed me that the bicep slicer that Prof Herbert showed us last night is illegal. Dang. I liked that trick. Herbert failed to mention that it is illegal. I'm really glad she told me that before I did it to somebody.

Chopped off all my hair today. Feeling kind of self conscious. With the long, long, red "mermaid hair", that's all everyone ever looks at. Now I feel like people might notice my body and clothes or something.  It's sure going to be nice to be able to do BJJ for a while without that spandex cap, though. And without having wet hair for three hours after the shower.

Guilt-cutting

You can’t truly know your limits- physically or emotionally- until you’ve reached them. Go to your limits often enough, however, and they move. –Rory Miller



Thursday lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

Standup: Cross-grab opponent's elbow, same-side grab the wrist, PULL hir to you at the same time that you step forward. Step on hir foot to check, go to the clinch on the back (one arm trapped). I couldn't make myself step on John's foot (and I sure as hell didn't want him stepping on mine), so I checked the ankle with the arch.

You are sitting, opponent is standing and grabbing your pants at the knees. Same technique as above, only this time you are standing up, with your inward foot between hir feet and bowing your outward leg...well, outward. Do not place hand on the mat. You can grab the shin just below the knee and use it to help hoist yourself up.

You standing, opponent on hir back with knees up. Go to the side, KOB. Opponent turns on hir side, places hand on your knee, and shrimps. Grab hir wrist, twirl and kimura. Try to keep the person pinched firmly between your shins. John was cheating the turn and shrimp, so I was having to yank him upward by the arm with each rep in order to get him on his side. Which I can do, but that gets exhausting after a while.... and it also requires changing levels again (when Carlos was exhorting us to get and stay low). I was debating asking him to turn more, or just sucking it up... then he complimented me on how I was moving him where I wanted him. So I kept my mouth shut.

Same entry as above, only this time you sink your arm under opponent's arm, hook, twirl and armbar. DON'T FORGET TO GRAB THE PANTS!!!!! Actually, I didn't forget that ONCE this time, to my delight. John was intrigued and impressed by the way I seized him high on the arm (just above the elbow) and (again) yanked him up to make sure he was on his side. I explained that you can always slide back down the arm once you're in position, and grabbing way up there works for no-gi as well as making it less likely that you'll lose the arm (or find yourself holding only empty sleeve) in gi.

Repetitive drills to exhaustion. There was lots of getting up and getting down again today, which is always hard on John and me as the oldsters. 


Found out that Hadley and Amy are both absent from the rolls of the Proving Grounds this weekend. Kind of a bummer. I was asked if I would be willing to do gi as well- there is a blue belt coming from Oregon who has no match. I said okay. She is smaller than me, too. That made me feel guilty. I was 132.5 this morning naked. Every time I went to eact something today, I thought about that blue belt coming all this way and having to fight fat, purple belted me- and I reconsidered. Turns out that guilt is a better motivator to cut than the fear of not making weight.

Hurts so good

The people without great talent but with desire tend to become the technicians.  When others are more talented, you must be more skillful to win.  Most of the really superb martial artists and fighters I've known have been runts with a drive to win.  Small and weak, they couldn't afford to be merely good.  They had to be fantastic to hold their own.   –Rory Miller



Saturday lunchtime BJJ in Seattle.

Warmed up with Coach Dynamo- mostly sitting on top of each other in turn and groping for sub grips that we couldn't get.

Drills to exhaustion:

Standup- Single leg
Guard pass to kimura
Opponent double-legs, you sprawl, crossface, move to side, double-unders, pull opponent into your back mount

Lots of getting up and getting down; this is always a vast amount of hard work.

Triple-partnered with Angela and Kelly, all of us going 110%.

Too tired to stay for 2nd hour "competition" class.

Thighs (lower fronts) aching by the time I got home. Usually it takes till the next morning- or at least that evening- before noticable muscle aches set in, so I know we worked hard. Always nice to work with Angela and Kelly. They take it seriously and bust buns.

That felt so good.

One must understand that slaughter cannot be spelt without laughter.



Was supposed to have another session with Tylik yesterday, but *her* teacher sent her away for being too sick to work out. So I ended up just taking her through the Starbucks drive-through and then back to where she was staying.  :(  But at least it appears that she refrained from sharing her plague with me.


Friday lunchtime BJJ in Seattle. Got there early and did a good stretch, then worked Chen Dao several times using the bar portion of a small barbell. The balance and length were interesting. Heavy enough to make me work. I was mostly focusing on balance and footwork, though.

Short warmup roll with Chrisanne (although I was already sweating from the dao).

Standup: single leg. Drills: pass guard to KOB, then to 1)kimura, or 2)spinning armbar. I felt pretty good with all of these, as soon as I figured out what Carlos wanted (he got a little impatient with me on the single leg.... sorry...)

I gave lots of feedback to Chrisanne... she always takes my advice to heart, and it's so nice to watch her work hard and get better and better.

One roll with a whitebelt guy, one with Cindy, one with (black belt) Lindsey. I was excited to show Lindsey how the tat had healed up. He's happy with how the color looks on my corpse-pale skin.

It was great to work with Chrisanne again, it's been a long time. I wish I had had enough gas left to ask Cindy to drill takedowns, but after Lindsey I was wiped right the heck out. He gave me good feedback and compliments, which was cool. It's been a while since I've rolled with him, too- he seemed impressed with my progress.

It was so nice to get back on the mats. Chrisanne's been off for a bit as well (altho not as long as I have), and we were both raring to go and ready to work our butts off, which we did, with one another's encouragement.

Cancellation.... and some TMI

I don’t think conflict is a physical problem most of the time, and even when it is a physical problem, there are minds and social rules and the world involved. The more of those elements you can manipulate skillfully, the better off you are. Sometimes you play the cards, sometimes you play the person and sometimes you play the table. –Rory Miller


Well shazbot- Amanda's a no-show. There are no other female purple belts registered. My gi bracket is cancelled.

Evening BJJ in Kirkland. I'm giving myself points for effort, but it really just does not work to try to do MA classes the day after working a graveyard shift. I took a Nyquil and did get a few hours of sleep, but it was just not enough. I felt like something on the bottom of someone's shoe.

Unfortunate timing of hormonal cycles means that this week- today in particular- I have felt as if I had two gigantic, swollen, painful pumpkins sitting on my chest. It seems as if they are taking up the entire room. It hurts just standing still, nevermind being squooshed beneath Izzy's excellent top pressure. (Sorry for the TMI, men... but you should take this moment to thank the patriarchal deity of your choice that you don't have this crap to deal with, because it's terrible.) I really hope I make weight, because another unlovely aspect of this time interval is randomly gaining a few extra pounds of water retention overnight.

Same keylock/armbar/kimura sequence as Monday. For some reason I had the idea that the kimura wants a 90 degree elbow. When you're doing it flat on the mat, the arm actually can/does go almost straight by the time you start pulling up on the elbow. Cindy notes that I am being sloppy about making sure the opponent's wrist is pasted to the mat throughout. Also, she recommends "monkey grip" (ie, no thumb).  I feel insecure with this grip, but I can't get a decent grip on 99% of people with the normal grip (their wrists are too big around) so I guess I have nothing to lose.

Flow drill: side control, keylock, backsit with good "kickstand", front mount, dismount with backsit (mind your kickstand again), side control, keylock, wash, rinse, repeat.

This was cool: From side control, isolate the near arm with your elbow and thigh. Sneak your own gi tail into the hand nearest opponent's feet. Feed it over opponent's chest and beside hir neck and grab it with the hand behind hir head. Palm down. Bonus points if you can keep the tail hidden under your cupped hand and/or dig into your opponent's face to obscure the fact that you're sneaking it in there.

Now: Give a little tug to snug it up. Mind that your arm around opponent's head is snug enough that s/he can't pop hir head out. Now lean away, toward hir feet, making an X shape. Don't worry about that near arm now, it doesn't matter. Place forehead to mat beside hir hip (if you even get that far).

A little positional sparring from side control. I was not doing well against Izzy, and feeling more and more exhausted. I had really, really wanted to ask her and Dave to roll with me afterward (no-gi), but I was just limp.

Five days out

Unarmed arts only exist for emergencies you didn’t see coming. If you can predict it and plan it and force is unavoidable, it is stupid to go in without a weapon. For that matter, without getting every advantage you can. –Rory Miller



Evening BJJ at Kirkland.

Same techniques we did this morning. Additionally: Keylock, failed keylock to straight armbar, failed straight armbar to kimura. Note that this kimura requires both a switch of handholds and a "standard" motorcycle grip wrist turn.

Positional training from side control.

Then a couple of rolls with Izzy and a couple with Dave (both gi and no-gi with Dave). Dave was being a prince helping me out.

Found out that Izzy has a lengthy judo history. Now I feel a little better about how poorly I am doing against her... she seemed to be catching on scary-quick, and now I know why!!!

I've been having a great couple of weeks BJJ-wise, and I wish I could pinpoint why. It's not that I have been getting more taps or tapping less; in fact the scoring has been on the lower side for me. But I have just been kinda feeling like I sort of know what I'm doing. Wish I could bottle it.


Tournament in five days. I would shank somebody for a piece of garlic bread right now.

It's a bad day to be wearing canvas pajamas.

Even sickness and bad luck run away from tigers.  –Barry Hughart


I felt up to tackling BJJ today, although I thought it wise to attempt only one class. Evening in Bothell. Man, was it ever hot. When you're sweating before the warmups even start, you know you're gonna be shedding some water weight today.

Sit-up sweep from guard. Major point for me today: foot placement. Get that extraneous foot out of the way; plant the other one with commitment.

Kimura from guard. Major point for me today- pay attention to pressing opponent's shoulder down.
Cross collar choke from guard. Major point for me today: "Fluff" the collar, don't haul down on the lapel so that you prevent yourself from getting your hand in there.

Griff brought over a bunch of guys (and one girl) from the Edmonds pod for us to beat up and get beaten up by. Note that if I ever spar Megan again: she has infruriatingly flexible shoulders. Armbars and keylocks are possible, but she's gonna make you work for them. I didn't even attempt a kimura. You have to choke this lady.

Two guys and a strap

Words create sentences, sentences create paragraphs, sometimes  paragraphs quicken and begin to breathe. Imagine, if you like, Frankenstein's monster on its slab. Here comes lightning- not from the sky, but from a humble paragraph of English words. Maybe it's the first really good paragraph you ever wrote, something so fragile and yet full of possibility that you are frightened. You feel as Victor Frankenstein must have when the dead conglomeration of sewn-together spare parts suddenly opened its watery yellow eyes. _Oh my God, it's breathing,_ you realize. _Maybe it's even thinking. What in hell's name do I do next?_
-Stephen King


Wednesday: power lifting.

A new washer and dryer have been installed. The old washer was supposed to have been left in the entryway by the movers, so that it could be taken to the storage unit. Imagine my surprise when I arrive to find it sitting outside on the deck in the rain.

Kitsune: ((In dismay))"Why is it outside?"
Housemate: "I dunno."
Kitsune: ((exasperated wordless stare))
Housemate: "It took two guys and a strap to move it."
{translation: "Don't even ask me to help try to move it"}

So I moved it myself. If it took two guys and a strap, maybe I'm in the wrong line of work.
-------------------------------
WIP: I edited my posted sections and removed a crap ton of "passive" language. I didn't really realize how bad I am about that. At this point, trying to change that aspect of my writing during the process is going to cripple me to an even slower crawl than I'm already at.... so the plan is to do a focused first and second edit just for that. First edit: eliminate most of the was'es. Second edit: look for more instances of passive writing- but it looks like about 70% of my crime is the dreaded WAS.

I still have way too many had's. I don't know how to fix that.

While I was at it, I also found several more little extraneous bits that didn't seem to add to the narrative, so I chopped them.
--------------------------------

Lunchtime BJJ, GB Belle.  Today I got kimura'ed by a Pan Ams medalist!

Opponent on hir back with feet in your hips, you standing. Pass guard to KOB. Opponent pushes at your knee. You kimura.

Notes for me: Grab the wrist with all fingers and thumb together. I keep wanting to have the thumb on the other side- which increases chance of injury (to me) as well as makes me slower (since I now have to readjust my grip before I can complete the technique). Furthermore, having my thumb on the other side does not do anything for me anyway (do I really think I'm going to be able to hold hir there like that?)

Also: Move further down on the opponent's body and try to pin hir with the knees before beginning to crank the arm. Hold the arm up higher and pressed against my chest- but don't pull it so high that that elbow is not bent sufficiantly. Turn my torso- don't just push with the arms.

Next: same setup, only instead of kimura, finish with an armbar. One foot behind opponent's shoulder blade; pants grip. DON'T LET GO OF THE PANTS!!!!! (Yep, I'm still doing it)

Three spars, three minutes each, different partners. Begin sitting back to back.

I notice that I am getting faster at setting up the Del a Riva guard- I have to think about it less- even though I was not able to finish it this time.

I also noticed some things that I was not bothering to try because the defeatist in me just assumed that they would not work.  This is nothing new... but it is something that needs to be fixed, so noticing it is good.