Thursday: break-in, Friday: pit bull attack. How was your week?

Many people receive the answer to their prayers, but ignore them- or deny them, because the answers didn’t come in the expected form.  –Sophy Burnham



Thursday lunchtime gi in Bellevue. We got Rodrigo today! Carlos and Doug both had surgery at the beginning of the week, so they will be on the bench a while.

Opponent in turtle, you sprawled on hir left hip. Grab hir left sleeve cuff and right lapel. Move to the side and pull hir onto her side, switching to a "sash" grip. Stay heavy and keep public bone to the mat. As s/he places hir top foot on the mat to try to recover turtle, you stick your bottom leg into the space that s/he has just made between the mat and hir hip, and wrap hir bottom leg. Pull hir back into you, and place the second hook. Do not forget to trap the arm. (Note: do not- as I wanted to do- try to jump/climb on top of hir to get the back mount. PULL hir into you.)

Same entry, only now as you pull the foe onto hir side, you use your lapel grip to open the lapel and slide your other hand in. I always want to snug everything REALLY REALLY TIGHT, and Rodrigo instructed me to loosen up and slide down a bit on this lapel grip- because you want the person to try to recover turtle instead of realizing that they're about to get choked. As they go into turtle, you clock choke. Do not straighten your arm and pull at this. Keep the elbow bent and lean your chest over the opponent's head. Rodrigo puts his forehead on the mat.

My stupid side, which I only tried a few times at the very end and only because we had done about a bajillion reps, was much tighter because that side had me doing the clock choke with my dominant arm.

A little positional training from the point where you pull the opponent onto hir side and try to keep hir down, while opponent gives some (but not crazy) resistance.
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So some crazy and/or drugged homeless guy broke into my garage this morning. It scared the poop out of me, but I was very happy that I had a gun, so that I knew I could defend myself if he tried to get into the house. I was even happier to see the sheriff pull in. I could have set off the audible alarm and probably scared him off, but I wanted the cops to get him, so that I wouldn't have to worry about him coming back (for a little while, at least). He broke a window in my rear garage door, but luckily did not damage my car. The nice deputies caught him red-handed in there, carted him off in cuffs, and booked him for Burglary in the second degree.

I think the only thing I could have done better was to be more proactive about checking out odd noises. I heard some thumping, but assumed it was the cat messing around upstairs. It was only when the thumping continued that I went up to check, and found her asleep. I figured then that I had a bear in my garbage can. But when I looked out the window, I saw an unfamilar dude lurching up my driveway while holding an animated conversation with himself. Next time I will check out weird noises more promptly. If he had gone to the front door instead of the garage after rifling the garbage, things could have turned out much worse than they did.
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So, the day after some crazy homeless guy broke into my garage, my dogs and I got attacked by a loose pit bull. It tore up Teal pretty badly. I was well weaponed up, yet could not adequately defend.

Because I am so paranoid, my head is always on a swivel and thus I glanced behind me and saw the pit come out of the driveway. As soon as I laid eyes on that dog, I knew we were going to get attacked. I yelled "NO!" powerfully, as that has been recommended by some dog-savvy friends. I was then able to get off a couple yells for help and get my pepper spray out of my pocket before it was on us.

The dog attacked Teal, and I emptied half the can of pepper spray right into its eyes to no effect at all. I could not shoot it because we were in the middle of a populated subdivision. My knives would have been a poor weapon- this dog was not responding to pain compliance techniques, and I would have had to get under its throat and get a few really good deep slashes to put it out of commission. At that point, my bag of tricks was empty.

All I could do was yell for help. I tried to pull the pit off my dog, but it just kept hold and I was dragging both dogs. I really needed a second person- one to grab each dog and pull them apart. But although ten or twelve people came out to see what all the screaming was about, no one helped.   :(    Now I know what Kitty Genovese felt like.

Eventually the dog owner's dad came out, and stood there to stare for a moment before wading in. He grabbed the pit's harness and gave it a couple of ineffectual tugs, then he started whipping the dog over the back with a little nylon strap. Of course that didn't do jack. Finally I gathered my wits enough to yell at him, "grab the harness and pull him off! Grab the harness and pull him off!" Which he finally did.  As I fled for our lives, the guy was lying in the middle of the street bear-hugging the dog.

So, several lessons learned.

1)Don't expect help. Even if there are lot of people around. They will just stare, or maybe take out their iphones to video your attack. You are on your own.

2)Please don't be that person. If someone is yelling for help, fucking HELP.

3)I thought I was well weaponed-up, but two of my weapons were inappropriate for the situation and the third one failed me. I have thought a lot about what would have helped in that situation, and I decided that a hammer would have gotten the job done. I went to Lowe's and bought a really nice heavy mallet with a comfy grip and good balance. I am now carrying that whenever I walk the dogs. The next loose dog that puts its teeth in my dog is going to get its fucking skull bashed in.

4)It was astonishing to what extent my brain switched off in the presence of that much adrenaline. I had to leave the scene, because Teal needed to go to the ER, and that guy still did not have his dog under control, so we fled. Later I had a hard time finding the attack site, I wouldn't have been able to pick that guy out of a lineup, and I was even unsure what color the dog was- which is funny seeing as how I was wrestling with it for three minutes. Your brain really shuts down all the extraneous details. Next time, remind self to stop and take note of details, especially if you have to flee the scene.

5)Even if you have decided that your pepper spray is useless, don't put the can back into your pocket. Just the small amount of dried liquid left on the outside of the can ate right through my pants and gave me a miserable chemical burn. My entire thigh looks like it's been roasted over a slow fire. (Again- how did that monster dog just ignore this? I knew it wasn't going to respond to pain compliance techniques, but I was hoping that the pepper spray directly into the eyes would blind it and make it difficult to breathe. Nope.)

6)January is tactically useless. All he did was run circles around us in scared confusion. I always hoped my dog(s) would try to do something if I was screaming for help, but it did not trigger him. Note: do not expect his help in the instance of a break-in.


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I went to BJJ class on Friday night, but I had too much going on to blog it, and now I can't remember what we did. I also missed ALL classes the following week.
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Thursday lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.  I got to drill with Nelson, which is always wonderful.

Triangles from guard.

From guard: fake a scissor sweep, then hook your toe under the thigh instead. Sweep hir AWAY from you. Note that you have to be really close to make this work- if you shrimped out too much getting set up for the scissor, it's really hard to lift the guy using just leg strength.

Same basic thing from standup.

My favorite choke: the one where you get a deep cross grip and then grab a handful of gi at the back of the shoulder to finish.  We turned our bodies to use the thigh to force the opponent's head down as if we were going to armbar, then swung back to finish the choke straight on. Weirdly, it's a chicken-wing pulling motion- yes, the very thing we are always told NOT to do. But it was beautiful. I found, while being the uke, that when the opponent swings that leg up, it makes you think he's going for a triangle or armbar, so you want to yank back- which will just make you choke yourself even harder.

Three spars with three white belt ladies. They are all game and trying hard. Gave them all some (I hope useful) pointers.

I'll text him a picture.

“Oh, tonight we’re gonna drum till we fuckin’ EXPLODE.”  -Helen Bond (Medusa)




132.5

I had mushroom/turkey/cheese scramble for breakfast and dinner yesterday, plus a BJJ class. Lunch was of lesser quality food, although I did keep the quantity under reasonable control.

Monday lunchtime BJJ in Kirkland. I had a little trouble getting in gear this morning, and missed the warmups.

Foe is in your closed guard, punching at your face. Do Black Crane high guard to protect head. Pick your moment to jerk foe forward with your thighs. (Make sure to move your head to the side as you do this.) I continue to have a challenge pulling my opponent forward with my legs when s/he is heavy enough that I can't move hir weight and/or large enough that I can't fully close my guard. I try to make up for it by aggressively lunging up and locking on the bicep to haul down. Get hir down on your chest and control the head. As s/he tries to posture up, pick your moment to allow hir to "slip free" and grab butterfly guard with your feet on the hips. Cindy suggests that I allow my palms to slide down the outsides of the Bad Guy's arms as I move my grips to the sleeve cuffs or wrists- less chance of losing control of hir arms.

Attacking the turtle: taking the back, clock choke.

Positional training, then one roll with Pat and one with Cindy. She continues to catch me with that leg thing; I can now see some of the setups coming and GTF out in time, but she has numerous setups and some of them I still don't recognize until I'm already tapping.


Cindy: Are you coming back tonight?

Kitsune: I should go to Bellevue....

Cindy: Oh come on...

Kitsune: I don't want Carlos to forget what I look like.

Cindy: I'll text him a picture.

 

The new girl teaches

It is time for an athletic philosophy; a philosophy forged through muscles and heart, a philosophy born out of the union of body and mind, of pragmatism and utopia, of sweet sensitivity and a warrior's determination. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path


Wednesday lunchtime BJJ, GB Seattle. A 4th serving of the back mount to bow and arrow. Dessert: If the person you're B&A'ing paws at your arm with their matward arm, ignore it. If they paw at you with the upper arm, ARMBAR CITY.

Note that if the person is riding too low in your back mount, the center of gravity is misaligned and you can't get them over on their side. When you switch your base, it is vital to make sure that your knee is in front of their knee ("in front" meaning closer to the opponent's head).  

Positional training from back mount. To try to be a good partner to Angela, I attempted to do something different with each restart. However, eventually she had tapped me enough times that I ran out of stuff to try. I also had to tap once to the face-squash. I tapped verbally, and then kept tapping verbally about six or seven more times, because she couldn't stop the remainder of her body from sliding over my face.

One roll with Casey and one with Ed. Casey wasn't going to roll at all, because he has 2 injured shoulders, but Carlos suggested me. I like being the safe partner that you can roll with if you're injured.

Ed: I suggested that we start from standup. Very swiftly, there was a sole on my shin and then somehow I was lying on the mat. He says, "Oh, did you know I'm a Judo black belt?" Uh, no, I didn't, but now I'll ask you to work standup more often because now I'm sure you're quite safe. Although this means *I* will never get a throw. Oh well. Defense always needs practice.
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Wednesday evening BJJ, GB Bothell. A 4-stripe white guy forgot his belt. I informed him that if he lost his belt, he had to start back at the very beginning. Then Cindy realized that she had left her belt at the Seattle school. It'll take her a long time if she has to start back at the beginning!

Kitsune: "If someone new comes in tonight, we'll just say that we're having the new girl teach tonight."
Cindy: "Just as long as you guys still take me seriously."
K: "We'll take you just as seriously as we ever do."
C: "Thanks a lot."
K: "I love you Cindy!"

Armbar from guard, with opponent putting one knee up for you to underhook. Finish either before or after you lay hir down.

Sprawled on turtle, to back mount, to Bow and Arrow (Gawd, AGAIN.... I'm doing this in my sleep). This time, so not do the S-mount- just turn the body so that you are perpendicular.

Also, back mount to clock choke; and failed clock choke to the one where you catch the arm and then choke with your hand behind the guy's head.

Got to drill some with Cindy and some with Vince. I have been very fortunate in great partners lately.

A little positional sparring from back mount.

Spars- not doing all that great tonight, but I was pretty tired.

Vince had the double-sticks guys (who have class right after us on Wednesdays) do a little demo for us. It was way cool. After they had done at it for a while and somehow did not break either of their heads open like melons, someone asked, "So how long does it take to learn how to do it like THAT?" Teacher (straight-faced): "Two lessons."  Haha.

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Disguise: I think I'm going to end up using soot along with millet flour; I'll need to have them mix something in the flour to make it stick better. Blood may also be involved, either intentionally or accidentally.

Antlers: I think I am going to have to try to procure some smaller ones. I'm not happy about it, because I've done a lot of online shopping, and the selection and sources for small sizes is kind of sucking.

"They're in my stomach"

Accept your power.



Wednesday evening gi class at Sleeper Athletics. As I was watching the tail end of the kids' class, Jalen (who does both the kids' class and adults' class) took a shot to the groin. He collapsed to the mat on his stomach with his hands between his thighs and just lay there.  Eventually:

Cindy: "Are you all right?"
Jalen: "They're- like- in my STOMACH right now."
Cindy: "Well, roll off the mat."



Clock choke from back mount.

That choke from back mount that starts out like a clock choke, but you trap the arm with your second hand and then place your hand behind the opponent's head.

Bow and arrow. 

Opponent has sitting backmount on you. Defend the choking arm if there is one. Trap one of the opponent's arms, lean back and bridge, roll onto the side that you have the arm trapped. Pin that leg down and keep weight on opponent's chest. Walk out to form a T with opponent. Turn belly down to side control. We did a few different variations of this.

Opponent in sitting back mount on you, dumb enough to hang hir head too far over your shoulder. Use both hands to grab behind the head, bridge, walk around to N/S.

Opponent in sitting back mount on you, one arm coming around neck. You move the arm to your OTHER shouder, snug everything up so that your shoulder is socked tightly into hir armpit and hir arm is locked straight. Walk around to side control as before. There is also a kimura you can get from the sitting position, but you have to really crank it. (Cindy noted that it's a good thing Wei and I were drilling together- because we are both "too nice".)

Positional sparring from back mount- sub vs escape. I did not do very well at this against Wei, in either position.

Battling Wei in positional sparring emptied out my gas tank. I begged off sparring. However, after I'd sat on the wall for a while, Cindy wanted me to spar Axel.

I enjoy starting from standup with Jalen and Axel, since they are close to my weight, and I feel pretty safe with both of them even though Jalen sometimes takes me down fairly hard. Tonight I got two nice hip throws, one of the drop-on-your-butt-put-a-foot-in-his-belly-and-toss-him-over-your-head ones, and one takedown where I was hugging him around the waist from behind and I just sort of picked him up and dropped him. Due to shortness, I had to hip-thrust way out in order to pick him up, but it worked. I could hear Cindy cheering those latter two takedowns, so that felt pretty good. I got a few taps on him- different chokes. Again I tried the one from closed guard with the one trapped arm, that we did in the Old Farts' class, but just could not make it work. Maybe I need to ask one of the higher belts to help me troubleshoot that; as I keep trying it and I don't think I've finished it live.

Terry insisted that I knock out a few pullups and those shrugging thingies at the end.... Lord, so tired..... he was annoyed that I wouldn't spar with him- but I know he doesn't like it when I lie there like a dead fish (I don't like it either), and I was tired enough that that's what would have happened.

Crucified!

It is important that when a new activity is being introduced, the practices that immediately precede it are will known to the student and the general movement pattern is similar to the new skill. The advantage of this strategy is that the student is confident in his own ability and has a starting point to work from. Having an existing frame of reference makes any demonstration or presentation  of a new technique all the more effective for the student, because he can quickly relate it to his own existing range of skills. With similar movement patterns, the rate of learning is much faster than with different ones, because part of the skill is already known.  Tony Gummerson, "Teaching Martial Arts"

Wednesday evening gi class, Sleeper Athletics.

One of the same chokes that we have been doing the last week or so, plus some new things:

Turtled opponent. You are hanging off the side, facing the same direction. Your near hand- place it on the back of opponent's head and press it down on the mat. Your other hand goes under opponent's near armpit and grabs the wrist of your first hand figure-4 style. Sprawl and tiptoe around opponent's head. The under-the-armpit hold should flip hir onto her side/back and allow you to take side control. Keep the weight on.

Turtled opponent. You are hanging off the side, facing the same direction. Arm nearest opponent- reach over hir back and under the far armpit. (Don't get too deep/committed with this hand, or it'll get trapped!) Grab the collar and shake it out so that you can feed it to your near hand- which is going right under opponent's chin.

Now: take that arm that's over opponent's back and grab hir far wrist, pull it toward hir body. Sprawl and choke. You can also sit out if need be.

Alternately: instead of the wrist, you can grab the other lapel. Sprawl and choke.

If the opponent posts up on arms: Take that arm that's over the opponent's back and wrap it under hir far armpit. The back of your hand is pressed to the front of hir bicep. Stand up and wrap your FAR leg over hir NEAR arm. Roll diagonally over hir head. As you roll, wrap your second leg around that trapped arm as well. I found that if I didn't pay attention to the placement of the opponent's BODY during the roll, I ended up with hir between my legs- or lying on one of them- and thus one of my legs was effectively out of commission, which FUBAR'ed the next step.

Now, if you have done this correctly, opponent is CRUCIFIED (mwah ha ha). Grab your own collar to help keep that arm trapped. If you can't finish the choke from here, you can switch your leg formation, hip out a bit, and use your topmost leg to wedge the knee behind hir head. Evil! But effective!

Sparring- tonight I was the nail, big-time. I got my butt soundly kicked by everybody in the place, except for Sony. I spent way too much time lying helplessly under side control. Erin's and Stacy's side controls are very good. Very tight, very heavy.

 Sony did really well tonight on the upa, KOB escape, scissor sweep defense, and choke defense. I'll have to challenge her with something new next time. She finished one of the head-and-arm chokes that we've been working on this week.

My knee held up okay tonight. Ribs kinda hurt. They took a hard thumping a couple of times.

Do not let go of the pants, round 7,244

After making an error, it is so easy to cling to the emotional comfort state of what was, but there is also that unsettling sense that things have changed for the worse. The clear thinker is suddenly at war with himself, and flow is lost. - Josh Waitzkin, “The Art Of Learning”


FOD: Tai Chi long form

Saturday morning basics. I still feel tired. I woke up this morning gable-gripping my pillow, ha ha. (The pillow did not tap.)  By the end of class, I was so weary that I was getting sloppy with the drills and felt like a kitten- so I didn't stay for comp class, sigh.

Kaungren was there. He now has 4 stripes on his ratty, faded purple belt.  (Little) John was there too, and we talked about how much he *doesn't* want to be promoted to purple. Sorry John, it's coming like a light in the train tunnel. Angela asked me if I cried when I got the belt. I said no, I just stood there and put both hands over my face. She said, "I cried."

Opponent is in turtle. You hang off the side, near shin parallel to hir shin, far leg posted out straight. Hold both of opponent's lapels under armpits.

Do a little hop and switch legs, so that your formerly FAR leg's shin is now against's opponent's shin. The other leg should be knee-up behind the turtle. Do not throw this leg over the opponent.

Sit back and pull opponent between your legs. Do not lie down on your back (I continue to struggle with this). Get both hooks. Have your feet flexed, and keep them on two different levels.

Open collar with one hand and reach OVER opponent's arm to grip deep with the other hand. Grab pants at the knee with the first hand. Yes, folks,  this is another case of DO NOT LET GO OF THE PANTS!!!!!! In fact, the prof threatened that if *anyone* let go of the pants, the whole class would do 20 pushups. (We had to do 2 sets... but it was not because of me!)

Use that pants grip to lift opponent's leg as you roll hir onto her side ("pillow side", the side that you have your arm wrapped around hir head). Now you are kneeling over hir with one foot on the mat in front of hir belly button, and the other knee on the mat behind hir head. Do not let go of the pants!

Bring the behind-the-head leg around as you sit, and now you have both legs wrapped around your prisoner's chest. If you can trap one or both arms, so much the better. (I hate this sub; it's another one of the subs where it can be nearly impossible to tap. You are also being choked, so you can't verbally tap! Ack!) Do not let go of the pants! Choke.

If opponent reaches a hand up to try to pry off your arm, Let go of the choke and trap the arm. Armbar. Still: Do not let go of the pants!

Drills to exhaustion. My stupid side is stupid. Also, Angela was trying to update me on the UFC standings while I was trying to count the steps of the drill- a conversation made even more difficult by the fact that I can't hear very well through my headgear. She also had to ask me at least 4 times (with increasing levels of vehemence) to please grip lower on her lapel so that she could allow me to finish the technique without tapping or dying. I guess it's good that I am so hardwired to get that high grip, although it seems that my listening skills could use improvement.