Friday evening

"I've had 56 students win gunfights in the past 5 years.  I also had two students that died because they were unarmed when they were attacked.  Carry your f***in gun." - Tom Givens (Rangemaster)


OMG, Jen Jen Jen. This needs to stop. This ritual leadership team needs to break up due to irreconcilable differences. I had intended to perform my small part for next weekend's event and then just stop answering her e-mails and fade away... which would leave the door open to at least show up and participate in a non-facilitating way once in a while. But it has become clear that she ONCE AGAIN did not like what I did at the last event, even though it worked just fine,  and now she wants to vet my piece beforehand. She disguised this as a general message to everyone that "We don't want to do (fill in the blank with what I did last time). Let's all post our ideas so that we can be all goal-aligned." So almost everyone posts except me.... since I'm still trying to figure out how the hell to deal with her shit without getting pulled into a dysfunctional drama scene, and I also still have about .02% doubt that this may be *my* problem because I apparently have no ability to function in ritual nor gauge accurately whether things worked or not nor take constructive criticism... and she posts another general message going, "Okay, the only one who hasn't chimed in yet is Kitsune....." then again this morning with, "I'm freaking out here, those who haven't posted their ideas yet PLEASE DO SO". Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ, this is the biggest event of the year and you'd think she'd have enough to do without having this much time and energy to ride my ass. Over a very tiny role, which is not going to make a difference in anything even if she hates it. I don't want to be one of those people who causes a drama scene (or worse- bails) a week before a huge event, but I've about had it. This is nuts.

I mounted a pole in my basement gym to dry my gi's on. When I first moved in here, I looked at the shower in the laundry room and thought, "Sweet, I can hang my gi's right there on the shower rod to dry." Well, turns out the air flow sucketh in there and they take about a week to dry.... which is not a huge deal, except the condensation is such that I'm worried it's going to get all disgusting in that room if I keep doing that. I'm not sure the air flow and drying time are going to be much better in the basement proper, but I hope so. I'm going to mount a second pole on the porch so that I can dry them out there when the weather permits.

Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue. I got there early and had a long, thorough stretching session, followed by a few reps of the Tai Chi short form. Then Five Animals. Then Leopard Fist. I have not done any forms of any kind for, like, a year. I don't know how I feel about it. It stirred some things. Some good, some bad.

KOtH, sweep vs pass. There was an awkward moment right that the beginning when Prof Herbert tried to pair me up with Sauleh. There were only about 8 of us total in there, so having Sauleh in there with KoTH meant a lot of extra wall time for me. Irritating.

Brandon has his purple belt. He continues to get bigger- and better.

A few spars. Lance first, ha ha. He was nice, and let me simply run a sub clinic on him. I also got a turn with Herbert, which was awesome if exhausting. It was very flowy. I tried really hard to flow. I think I made a decent showing of myself.

Ta da!

Understand weapons ARE the big equalizer. Up until the introduction of very efficient weapons that did not rely on strength (think the revolver, first), might DID make right. Not morally, but any moral argument put forward could be beaten to the ground.  –Rory Miller



2 afternoons training with Tylik.

Mostly stancework (using the long form, although said stancework translates to all the other forms as well as, uh, standing. My most eggregious sins continue to be 1)failure to have the pelvis tilted at the right angle (which in turn messes up everything else all up and down the body), and 2)allowing my knee(s) to collapse inward (which in turn messes up everything else all up and down the body). Erroneous foot position also looms large. Some arm position stuff- bad crossing of centerline, not having arms low enough to guard against groin kick, and spreading arms too wide as if in a "ta-da!!!!" dance pose (which is NOT Tai Chi). Going over one or two tiny snatches of the form and being utterly dazzled at how many things you have to pay attention to in order to make a seemingly simple 180 degree turn. As soon as I start focusing on pelvic alignment and arm position, I forget foot position and torso turning... and vice versa.

We also did some Chen dao (actually got through the whole form). Many of the stancework items we'd been working on came up again here. I was able to troubleshoot my least favorite movement in the form- keeping in mind that the things I don't like are always the things I feel inept at. In this case, it was a motion that Tylik performs like an avenging sword goddess and I perform like a lame chimp on opiates. But I think we pinned down what I was doing wrong this time.

I felt really good about the progress we made both days. I have a very limited attention span, and my knees start hurting after only a modest amount of stancework. But we broke the time up into managable chunks, and switched to sword ("And now for something completely different!") just as I was about to start tearing my hair out over stancework.

It also felt very good to work on forms. I have so neglected my formwork. I am so unhappy not having a regular Tai Chi teacher/class nor a regular Kung Fu teacher/class. I miss forms. I miss Tai Chi. I miss Kung Fu. I miss striking and kicking.

Also- having spent almost the entire month on the bench for injuries, I have been very unhappy at not being able to train. It was so nice to get some training in.

Another good thing: my plantar fasciitis- while not totally gone- has slacked off to an amazingly relieving degree. That PF sucked so bad, but it did serve to be a constant un-ignorable reminder to watch my posture and balance and foot position 24/7. I was bad about doing my exercises, but the things Tylik showed me on her last visit about how to stand and step made the difference, I think. I really hope that these adjustments are now automatic and permanent, and that it will both avoid future PF as well as improve the way I move around in general.
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Holy cow, Rory Miller left a comment on one of my blog posts.  He probably Googled himself and went to see who the heck has posted about five hundred of his quotes. Hope he doesn't think I'm a stalker. I suspect that attempting to stalk Rory Miller would be a special kind of suicidal.

FYI, tattoos on the side of the ribs hurt like a mother. I have a small tat on my flank that has previously held the record for being the most painful... but the flank at least has a small layer of fat, and the side of the ribs is skin over bone. I've never had a tat still hurt nearly a week later, either.  Additionally, I can't put on a bra because the spandex would go right over the tat. It really is obscene and terrible for me to go around braless. It also made the Tai Chi interesting. Tai Chi is pretty much the only workout that is even on the table sans bra, and I had to wear layers of billowy clothes that completely concealed my body. Somehow, Tylik has no trouble seeing my knee turn in or my pelvis tip wrongly- I think she has X-ray vision. But seriously- these body parts were not visible by any stretch of the imagination, and it really makes a point for how those particular stance errors fuck up your posture in such an obvious way that she didn't need to be able to see much to tell what was happening.

But as far as the tattoo- Lindsey did an awesome job. It is very meaningful to me to have tattoos- which are all martial-arts-related power glyphs to some degree, in my case- done by a fellow martial artist, and a back belt teacher of mine to boot.  Makes me want to let him ink me up head to toe, ha ha. I'm working on a Sak Yant inspired design, contaminated with Chinese elements. It's going to take a lot of time and research, though.

Thursday lunchtime

Physical education is the fundamental discipline of life, but it is actually despised, neglected, and taught intellectually, because the true intent of our schools is to inculcate the virtues of cunning and calculation which will make money...... The establishment is a class of physical barbarians.... they do not know how to transform money into physical enjoyment. They were never taught how to husband plants and animals for food, how to cook, how to make clothes and build houses, how to dance and breathe, how to do yoga for finding one's true center, or how to make love.  -Alan Watts

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Tuesday: walk to work and back.  Still doing well with the soda being cut back to less than half my former habit. The first four days were truly the worst.

I had planned to go straight from work to open mat in Bellevue, but I spent half the night rolling over in bed very carefully and groaning. I appear to have sustained a rib injury rolling with Eric last night. I felt it happen, but it was on/near the breastbone instead of in one of my historically vulnerable trouble spots- it didn't hurt enough to stop the roll, so I ignored it.

It's been my experience that most injuries that don't start to hurt badly until later are usually muscular, or something that has swollen. IE, probably not a broken bone (the times I've broken a bone, I knew right away that it was likely broken). The "rib out"- kind of a mixed bag. Sometimes I know right away, especially if it's the site of a previous "rib out". Others took  a day to really start making their presences known. This doesn't really feel like a rib out, though (Lord knows I've had enough of them by now to know)... so I'm hoping it's just some bruising and minor swelling. I think I should take today off, though. I took some ibuprofin. We'll see what it feels like tomorrow.
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Wednesday: walk to work and back.  I'm still hurting enough that I decided I'd better take one more day off. I can't turn around and look into the back seat of my car. Well, I probably could if I *had* to... but I really don't want to.
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Thursday:  Got to BJJ an hour early so as to have plenty of time for a good stretch and warmup before rolling with the rib injury. A few reps each of Hurricane Hands, Little Red Dragon, Black Crane 1 (both sides... ending reap on the nontraditional side needs review), Five Points Of the Star, Spear Hand frag. Injury ached gently, but no sharp stabby pains.

I got punishment pushups today, for drinking water after the warmup without permission to do so. I don't agree with restricting water during training- maybe because I'm in health care- and I just don't deal well with the way some people come in in the morning and crank the heat all the way to max. By the end of the warmup, I'm baking like a potato wrapped in tinfoil, and nothing wipes me out worse than being overheated.

All spars. I was pushy about grabbing the people I wanted to work with. This was not the morning to have Donkey Kong or Hostility Boy bouncing on my rib cage. By the time we were done, though, I was getting down to the dregs and had to go with a couple of people that made me nervous. Nobody hurt me, though- and I don't feel much more sore now than I did before class, so I think with reasonable care I should recover from this one okay.

Richard's Rules

Today many people spend eight hours a day sitting before a computer or behind a desk, forcing their bodies to an unnatural stasis. Overworked minds, inert bodies. Depending increasingly more on an immaterial form of technology, we confine the body to a subordinate position. We grow detached from it. We forget its magic. We forget its power. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

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Sage Advice from Richard the Cat:

1. When you are wearing an e-collar, try not to throw up.

2. If you simply must throw up while wearing an e-collar, do not do so in a reclining position.

3. If you are foolish enough to upchuck while lying down in your e-collar, at least do it right in front of mommy- so that she can rescue you before you drown in your own half-digested breakfast.


Uh, yeah.  

Right up there in the Top Five All Time Most Disgusting Sights EVER.

This was my afternoon today.
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Today was the Revolution. It was nice to have a bit of an ongoing photo/results feed on the GB page. From that, I know that Kelly got gold in her division. Woo hoo!


Today was also a really nice day weather-wise. I knew that that did not bode well for Turtle Drum, especially combined with the fact that this is a holiday week with some people out of town, and some celebrating belated holiday events. Well, yeah- only ONE other person showed up. I asked her if she had any preferences- I am only a passable ecstatic drummer when I'm holding the space by myself, but if you want a trip, I'm your shaman. She wasn't sure what she was in the mood for, but that she would be happy to just stretch and zone out and enjoy the space. So I did the djembe a bit, a few simple and moderate rhythms. The accoustics were interesting. I had the fiberglass Remo, and every time I hit it, I got a bounceback that really sounded like a bunch of people in the distance drumming and hollering with me. So I zoned into that, then did about 40 min of heartbeat- which is always a win. There was a nice vibe going, even though I was competing with some sort of live singing event next door.

So even though it turned out to be a dud of a party, I think we both got a nice little buzz off that.


Technically, a second person showed up an hour and a half late, just as we had decided to bug out, so I told him I was closing up.


Well, hell, I had paid to rent the dojo for the evening. What should one do with a beautiful dojo that one has already rented for the entire evening? FORMWORK!!!!


I committed a sin in that I handled a couple of weapons that were lying around. You do not touch a martial artist's weapons without hir permission. I would normally not do that, and I have never laid a finger on any item in here before tonight- but it seemed a crime to not work weapons forms, since I actually had the space to do it. And there were in fact weapons lying about begging to be lifted and wielded. They were begging, I heard them. I hope that the weapons were for general use of those in the dojo. Anyway, there's almost nobody on the planet who is going to handle your weapons more respectfully than I. (Can I still say that now that I've touched a sword and a bo without explicit permission?)


Anyhow, lightning did not strike me down, and I did all my weapons forms. Then all of the Shaolin forms that I could remember (not the frags, just the ones I know all the way through). Five Animals, Little Red Dragon and Leopard Three both ways. A few of the others twice, if they seemed either particularly poor or particularly transcendant the first time through. It was nice to have so much room and a good floor, to do the weapon work as well as the rolls and flying kicks that I often have to micro-fu my my through if I am doing them at work or at home. (Note that the last roll in Wood Monkey is on the left shoulder so that you can kick with the right foot.)


Forms were a little odd because I was wearing a dress. However, most of my dresses are ones that I can fight or do forms in, in a pinch. Luckily I was not wearing something short or tight.


During breaks, I did a few chants. Kiss the Earth Again. Jump At the Sun- almost forgot about that one. That is one of mine. I need to put that chant in my weblit. I keep meaning to share it with Pathwalker, but every year I forget, or don't get an opportunity.  I may do that one in the next Turtle Drum. The facilitators have discussed allowing some chants- normally spoken words are highly discouraged, although nonsense-sound chants are fine. We're a little anxious that Pagan stuff (which is larely what Tasara and I, at least, know) might scare off some attendees. We also don't want the event to turn into open mike night where we end up being held hostage by one singer hogging the space.


Anyway- I can sing. I usually demur that I can't sing- just like I usually demur that I am a lousy drummer, my forms all suck, and I can't do jiu jitsu. Well, ACCEPT YOUR POWER. I can sing, and I can move energy with voice, and I can glamour with voice.  So there.


Tomorrow I'll be insisting again that I can't sing.