Ambivalence

    Fisher had tried to enter the hole in the clouds six or seven times- but kept finding
herself back in her body, the bamboo raft pressing impassively against her
shoulderblades.   –The Hole In the Clouds




Thursday and Friday: Walk to work and back.

Saturday lunchtime BJJ, GB Sea. I only had enough get-up-and-go for the first of the two back-to-back classes.  I also was late again (third time in a row)! I don't have a good excuse for today. I really need to get my act together. Fortunately, I can jump in and function without a stretch out or warm up. The only things I really *need* to stretch out for are things like  flying spinning kicks and vigorous crescent kicks.

Standup: single leg setups.

Opponent has you in hir closed guard. You place hands on hir belt, turn one knee out and the opposite foot (toe loaded) out. Stand up. Opponent slides down your body and takes del a Riva guard with unhooked foot on your hip.

Now you grab the ankle of the foot that is planted on your hip (let's call it your left hip) and slam the sole to the mat. Hold it there while you ram your right hand between opponent's knees. Drop your left knee to the mat right against opponent's hip. Glue your left shoulder to opponent and put on weight. Keeping your right hand on the mat, crawl it toward opponent's head. Kick your trapped foot free, and complete transition to side control.

Saturday means many reps.

I told Angela that I love working with her, and feel that I always learn a lot when I do. It's important to verbally appreciate your good training partners.

I bought a used GB gi off a dude on Jiu Jitsu Forums. It is almost identical to my old blue GB gi, but there are a couple of minor patch differences. Casey noticed immediately, and asked if I had a new gi. I told him I found a used one, wondering what his reaction was going to be (I don't know if the school is getting kickbacks for selling these gi's, or have quotas, or what- but I figured he'd be annoyed that I hadn't surrendered my credit card). He didn't comment. Prof Carlos noticed too, and said that he was happy to see that my gi was "nice and blue" today. I answered that I was happy he approved.

Black-belt-Lindsey was there, and I was so happy to see him- it's been a while. I jumped on his back and RNC'ed him during a break, and then we rolled around for a few minutes. Blue-belt-Lindsey also jumped on my back and RNC'ed me. I didn't throw her this time- I said, "Didn't you learn your lesson yet??!?" I jumped on Cindy's back and choked her. I did not choke Rodrigo, but I did get a hug from him.
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Dru, when I ran my proposed Hunt role shift past her and Derek: "Kitsune, do you remember when Drake asked me to lead the drumming for the Hunt at Ravenstone and I felt blindsided by it? You said to me, "He wouldn't have asked you if he didn't think you were ready for it." The same applies here, so I'm quoting you to you."

I don't know whether to be more touched by her faith in me, or by the fact that she took my advice so to heart to remember it, follow it, and then years later quote me back to me.

Bo:  "...I was in contact with SilverDrake.  He knew who I was considering.  But did not want to offer his opinion until I chose because he did not want to influence me.  The night that I sent you the original e-mail I contacted him again and asked who it was that he thought was right.  He had chosen you as well.  Yet another reason that I believe spirit is offering this to you."

That's encouraging- and sobering- why was this so obvious to everybody when it never even occurred to me? Dru's and Derek's blessings means even more to me, though. They know the Hunt, and they know *me* better than Bo or SilverDrake do.

The main reason I've been dragging my feet is that I love- passionately love- drumming for the Hunt, and I passionately love leading the drumming for the Hunt. It's the high point of my year, there's nothing like it, and the thought of not doing it makes my soul weep. That part is selfish, but I don't apologize for it. It's also a lot of hard work, and I know that I serve my community well in the job.

I'm sure that assistant Huntmaster/mistressing would have its own fun, challenge, and spiritual growth. Cross-training is always a good thing (for both an individual and the team) for multiple reasons.

I'd like to try it. Who knows, I might like it even better. Or I might not like it, or we might find that I have no aptitude for it. Won't know unless we try, huh? I'm up for the challenge. Geez, it's going to hurt to not be drumming, though.

I've joked to Derek and Dru in the past about how Herald Camp is slowly and insidiously taking over the Hunt. I've really enjoyed (and counted on)  the way the three of us have worked together- both on practical and energetic levels- for years, and I think that's been a really good thing for the Hunt.  Now we're going to have one of us in each of the three major coordination roles. I'm excited about that. I think that could be unbelievably awesome.

Also, the coordinating team is 3/4 women this year. The Hunt started out pretty male-dominated, so that's kinda cool as well. I'll really miss Harry (who is on hiatus this year), but I'm excited to have Cindy (different Cindy) keeping the fire.
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