Monday, March 7, 2011

The angst of attempted bridge-building

Restricting our horizons is encouraged in order to seek perfect efficiency in only one activity, avoid dispersing our energies, and dedicate ourselves to a well-defined career. This is how experts are born and life dies. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path






After a long day of work (everybody has strep throat- or at least thinks they do), I went back to the reptile expo to meet up with RS and TS again. Since I'd spent a goodly part of yesterday softsoaping TS regarding the idea of bringing SK to see them, I was rather mentally exhausted to spend more time on it tonight.

Ya know, I have little patience for interpersonal or political politics. There are so many freakin' land mines here, spanning multiple decades of past history of the order. Most of it I only have random biased snippets of. Lots of emotion. 'Tis an altogether tangled web.

But you see, SK has pretty much reached a dead end with training in the Snake style. *NO*ONE* currently has additional advanced Snake material except for RS. So, not only is SK stuck, but there is a lot of stuff that is just going to die with RS if he doesn't pass it on. And not just Snake.... RS is a mind-reeling treasure trove of material that he hasn't taught to anyone. This is aside from the simple yet critical fact that he is one of the most highly skilled and experienced teachers out there, with a lot more to teach that would dwarf his staggering repertiore of forms. He knows how to teach different people with different learning modes, he knows how to motivate, how to breathe passion into martial arts. He listens, and takes personal interest in each student. He's a insightful guy who is fun to work with. He's a rare gem.

He and TS have the idea that DD and his posse- cut off from learning any additional material- are at a point where they can view the bottom of the barrel as far as forms and other material they have left to teach their more advanced students. I hadn't realized it was quite that imminent (and maybe it's not; again, I'm getting biased opposing perspectives here), but if it is- well crap, that would certainly explain why getting new material out of DD is like trying to squeeze water out of a damn chunk of granite. If he can see the bottom of the barrel, of course he would drag.

So anyway, the upshot is that SK is hitting a wall, and DD and his compadres may be hitting a wall not too far further down the road, leaving me and the other more junior students in this group eyeing the rapidly-approaching dead-end pileup helplessly. Even if you set aside the awesomeness that is the experience of being taught by RS, the hard fact is that we *NEED* him. I want to help out SK, because he's been a great teacher to me. But also, care and feeding of SK is going to trickle down to care and feeding of the rest of us more junior students- so that we can all keep training and keep learning, prevent buttloads of valuable martial arts material from dying out, and prevent this group- hell, the entire order- from disintegrating.

Thus why I venture into this minefield, even though I'd rather have a whole mouthful of root canals than deal with this mess; even though it scares the crap out of me that doing so puts me in danger of *ME* hurting or alienating RS- which I would never want to do. Yet since he is a true teacher, I know that he also needs us... he wants and needs good students to pass his knowledge to.

He will not hear of reconciling with DD/CM/JAG. I've passed on what DD and CM have told me- that they miss RS and wish that they could reconcile. RS feels too much personal hurt and betrayal to want to let them back into his life. I get that. I haven't said anything on that score other than to pass on that initial message. But SK and us more junior students, people that had nothing to do with the past troubles and whose only crime is to be seen vaguely as "part of DD's camp"... that I will- must- work on.

When the schism took place, RS wanted it known that his door remained always open to junior students. A few came, but not many. Some of them may have felt bound by loyalties to their immediate teachers on the opposite side of the schism, but I for one WAS NEVER TOLD that RS was available to me. RS and TS were appalled when I told them that. So while RS and TS were assuming that all the juniors had bailed the fuck out along with DD/CM/JAG- which was hurtful, of course- we juniors were under the impression that RS didn't want anything to do with us because we were DD/CM/JAG's students. See how that works? Canya believe things get this F'ed up so easily, and have such painful and far-reaching repercussions?

One of the saddest- and most maddening- aspects is that this is not the first time I have seen this movie. I have watched it before... with different groups, different names, and a few details altered. This is part of why I back away from teaching, back away from serving on BoD's, back away from doing clergy work (in OFFICIAL capacities, anyway), even part of why I have such a complex about moving up through the rank system.

End result- by the time we said goodbye, RS had agreed to let me bring SK by during his next visit, to chat a bit about teaching stuff. No expectations beyond that. I am pretty sure (crossing all available digits) that once they get to know each other a bit, there may possibly be talk of training. (How could anyone NOT be charmed by RS? *OR* SK?) I had to do a lot of fast talking to get that far... and RS did not look happy, which made me feel like dog poo... but I'm really hoping this turns out for the best for all. And if not, well, we can't say I didn't try.

OKay, I've spewed about this enough for one day... at least enough, I hope, that I won't lie awake all night chewing my cud over it.



Sunday kung fu. I went there straight from seeing RS/TS, and got there a half-hour late. CN was guiding Nemesis & JoE through one of the throws from Five Points. I stretched out and did a few reps of Five Points on my own, being careful to try to incorporate the IMPROVEMENT OPPORTUNITIES that CN gave me the last couple Sundays.

JaE and DD came in a bit later. We plotted out the Five Points Of the Star on the mat. The form has you defending (as much as Tiger ever defends, that is) multiple assailants coming from various directions. DD had a copy of CM's notes, which were so old that I'm surprised they weren't scratched on mud tablets. We put first JaE, then JoE in the center of the star and worked through the notes, having the guys do the apps against the rest of us who were attacking from the points. The idea was to try to ensure that we always knew which direction we were supposed to be fighting from. That was useful, although I did get a little fidgety during some of the debates of what the notes meant. Apparently this particular set of notes came from CM's very early student days- before the Tiger Master knew the names for the Tiger techniques... so we often had to try to puzzle out what he meant by a given description. Sometimes he referred to the points as one through five; other times he referenced "southwest" or whatever (assuming one begins a form facing due north). As I've said, they can get a little too wrapped up in that sort of detail-haggling... and my brain felt like it had been deep-fried by that time, after the day I'd had. I just stood there at my point and tossed out smartass comments at regular intervals. (wink)

JaE (overachiever he) had made his own notes of the form- which included photos. He had set up his computer camera to take pics at three-second intervals while he performed the form. It was pretty funny in the spots where he was rolling on the ground, and the picture frame encompassed only a pair of upside-down bare feet.

I have CM's notes for Leopard Three, and CM's notes for Tiger Versus Crane. I got them directly from CM. I have my *own* notes on several of the forms, but those two sets are the only notes of anybody ELSE'S that I have. Apparently you are required to create and turn in a copy of your own notes before you can ask for a copy of one of the masters' notes.

No sparring tonight... not sure whether to feel relieved or bummed.

2 comments:

  1. OH,the dreaded star pattern. Let me start of by saying that I have a REALLY bad sense of direction. Which made learning forms difficult. When I studied karate, we had to learn this one form, from the Keith Vitali system. It was star shaped. It was a beautiful form, and I loved it. It was just that I kept getting lost in all the twists and turns. I would love to see videos of the forms that you are learning.

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  2. I don't have trouble with it; you just have to always remember what direction you were facing in when you began. It's also critical to not face the same direction in the same room every time you practice, because then you may start to rely on visual cues, and won't be able to perform the form if you are someplace else.

    The problem we are having at the moment is that as the form is translated down the hierarchy, the little changes unintentioally incorporated by each person in the chain add up. Once you are *NOT* facing the correct direction, the entire remainder of the form is wrong (and it's a long form, too).

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