Ego games

Most people are not beaten. They give up. –Rory Miller


Mon: 128.5

I know I *could* get down to 124 before the Revolution, but I'm starting to think I just don't currently feel like dealing with the level of deprivation it's going to take.

Casey, on Facebook: Ben, you think life is only 1/2 guard!!!!!
Kitsune: When you roll with Ben, your life is 1/2 guard whether you like it or not.
Aussie Dave: At least it can be deep.

Today I got my ass kicked by some brand new white belts.... and I am currently feeling fairly mentally/emotionally healthy about it.

As a blue belt, this occurance tended to invoke one of two reactions: steam-shooting-out-of-ears frustration or black-hole despair; both accompanied by a running mental commentary about how epically I suck and how that will never change no matter what I do. I didn't feel worthy to step on the mat or breathe the air in the school.

Today- at one-stripe purple when I might be expected to feel *more* pressure to avoid getting ass-kicked by new white belts- I am feeling "Okay, so I got ass-kicked by white belts. It happens sometimes. We all cool."

I suspect part of my newfound maturity has to do with the fact that the white belts in question were polite and respectful, and didn't act like dicks either during or after the ass-kickings.

Interestingly, what bothered me more was when Casey performed demos with- not me as the senior student in the room- but some of the more junior guys. I'm fairly sanguine about that when Carlos does it, because he's about eight times as tall as I am and it's just clownish for him to do demos with me. When other teachers pass me over for less senior students, it still presses restimulating buttons- although I am able to clearly recognize the reaction as such.

Standup: foes throws haymaker. You step in and use both open hands to block bicep. Overwrap same-side arm over foe's attacking shoulder. Shuffle quickly to stand against hir ribs on OPPOSITE side as you hug that arm around hir waist. Step near foot in front of hir, squat, load, hip throw. Keep the arm. KOB. Figure 4 armbar.

Cross-collar chokes from closed guard.

Gi choke from guard: right cross-collar deep grip, open guard, foot on foe's hip on the same side that you have the grip. Turn body. Get handful of gi on back of opponent's shoulder. Square up and choke. This is one of my favorite subs, and very successful on white belts, although anyone I've ever rolled with more than once knows better than to stick their head up for it. I don't do the body turn, though. I'm not sure how I feel about it. It seems like opening my guard gives the opponent more chance to escape- although doing it this way might make hir less likely to recognize what I'm doing so readily.

Ezekiel from closed guard: Hug opponent to your chest, right arm right around hir neck. Use right hand to grab inside left sleeve cuff, FINGERS IN. Slip left blade hand under foe's chin with little finger side against throat. Pull choke and straighten legs to help it along. This choke is one that I haven't quite solidified enough to include in my game yet, but I love it, so I hope it will gel this time. I think it might be good for my small hands.

A little positional sparring from closed guard- sweep vs keep from being swept- and a couple of short spars. This is where I got my ass kicked by brand new white belts. Still doing relatively okay with it.

I wanted to ask Casey to roll a little no-gi with me after class, but he was busy answering questions from one of the new guys and it looked like he would be a while, so I took my leave.